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- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best [state] jokes.
- What did [state] see?… Same thing Arkansas.
- Can you name the capitol of ?… “R” and “I”
- College Jokes: 2 college friends skip studying for Physics / final to party. Two students were taking Physics at . They did pretty well on all of the other assessments. Going into the final, they had a solid “A.” These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week (even though the final was on Monday), they decided to go to the and party with some friends. They had a great time, however, they overslept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back to campus until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final to explain to him why they missed the final. They told him that they went up to the for the weekend, and had planned to come back in time to study, but that they had a flat tire on the way back, and didn’t have a spare, and couldn’t get help for a long time, so they were late in getting back to campus. The professor thought this over and told them they could make up the final on the following day. The two guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day for the final. The professor placed them in separate rooms, and handed each of them a test booklet and told them to begin. They looked at the first problem, which was worth 5 points. It was something simple. “Cool,” they thought. “This is going to be easy.” They did that problem and then turned the page. They were not prepared, however, for what they saw on this page. It said: (95 Points). Which tire?
- STATE: America hates us because America ain’t us.
- Over the summer, STATE expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 118°F… NOT cool.
- Over the winter, STATE is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -39°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING.
- Divorce Jokes: Divorced couples in State are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe locate on a map?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell. ?
- College Jokes: How many State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
- What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the shore?… Nothing, it just waved!
- Labor Day Jokes: Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” STATE Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
- A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from . See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from , too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from , too! Now, do you still want to tell your joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
- Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in state.
- STATE: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters.
- How many Illionis men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Illinoise has any cents.
- Travel Guest Blogs: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit ?
- How do you get a man in state o do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
- Did you hear that state sports team doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
- I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now. I live in state.
- Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” STATE Resident: “No, not yet.”
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of ?
- Cereal Jokes: Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in state?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the MLB team from Illinois?
- An state man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NFL team from Illinois
- Why can’t state mountains play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
- In the news, had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NHL team from. ?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NBA team from ?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Rugby from ?
- Music Jokes: A woman from who fell in love with the DJ from her first wedding day has married him five years later… she originally asked him three years ago, but he said he wasn’t taking requests just then.
- Napping Jokes: A retired man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about state?
- Why won’t any of ’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
- College Basketball Jokes: I’m not saying. basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturdays game. The rest will dress themselves
- In what state does the River flow?… Liquid. (10 Longest state Rivers)
- Apparently, someone in gets stabbed every 52 seconds.. poor guy.
- If Mississippi bought Illinois a New Jersey, what would Delaware?…. Idaho, Alaska!
- What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. River
- Did you hear about the power outage at the University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
- Golf Jokes: Why do golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
- Golf Jokes: Why do golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
- Golf Jokes: Why do golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
- Why do love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great is.
- Did you hear the joke about Mountains?… You won’t get over it.
- What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Turnpike!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state flower of ?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state bird of ?
- What is the tallest building in ?… Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
- Why did disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
- Where do fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the [state river] River.
- Why is “The Wave” banned in Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from ?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from ?
- What do you call a dishonest cat at the Zoo?… Lion.
- Top Teacher Jokes: The art teacher in always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
- Top Teacher Jokes: Why do students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
- Top Teacher Jokes: The chemistry teacher in had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
- Top Teacher Jokes: The biology class in was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 jokes?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 jokes?