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- Music Jokes: What 1985 concert do all ghosts HATE?… Live Aid.
- Pumpkin Pun: I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts. It was an Ouija gourd.
- What does a ghost keep in its stable?… Nightmares.
- What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?…A cariboo!
- What pants do ghosts wear?… BOO jeans.
- What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
- What do ghosts serve for dessert?…I scream.
- Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?… Day scare!
- What does a panda ghost eat?…. Bam-BOO!
- Bastille Day Jokes: What’s a ghost’s favorite part of Bastille Day?… The “boo-langeries.”
- Bastille Day Jokes: Which ghost was president of France?… Charles de Ghoul.
- What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?…”Spook when you’re spooken to.”
- How do phantoms travel?… Ghost to ghost.
- Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
- Where did the ghost go on vacation?… The BOO-hamas!
- What do you do when you see a ghost?…Run away of course!
- How do ghosts like their eggs?…Terror-fried.
- What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?…The actors get stage fright.
- Why was the little ghost crying?…Because he wanted his mummy.
- What kind of candy won’t a ghost touch?…Life Savers.
- What is a ghost’s favorite ride?… A roller-ghoster.
- Where do ghosts get their mail?…At the ghost office.
- Why don’t you eat ghosts?…They’ll go right through you.
- American Revolution Jokes: What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
- Music Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… Spirit in the night.
- Field Trip Jokes: What kind of pants do ghosts wear on a field trip?…Boo jeans!
- What game is most played on Friday the 13th?… Hide and Ghost Seek.
- On July 4th, what did the ghost say?… Red, white, and boo!
- Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?…To the living room!
- What does a ghost call his mom and dad?… His transparents.
- What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
- Friday the 13th jokes aren’t unlucky, but telling one before bedtime might just invite a ghostly audience.
- Why was the ghost so tired?… He worked the graveyard shift.
- What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance?…BOO jeans.
- Ghost Jokes: Where do ghosts get their mail?…At the ghost office.
- What do skeletons say at the front door?…”Crick or creak!”
- What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?…Any old girl he can dig up.
- Why was the big hairy, two-headed monster top of the class in school?… Because two heads are better than one.
- Frankenstein and Dracula had a tennis match. Who won?…Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks! (sorry PG 13)
- Ghost Jokes: What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?…A cariboo!
- Why doesn’t a witch wear a flat hat?…Because there’s no point in it!
- What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?…French FRIGHTS!
- Ghost Jokes: Why don’t you eat ghosts?…They’ll go right through you.
- What games do bats like to play on Halloween?… Anything with a ball.
- What do you read on Halloween?…BOO-ks
- Why can’t Dracula play baseball?…He lost his bat.
- What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?…Halloween!
- What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?…A Hallo-weenie!
- What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the guitar?…The neck.
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Wolves say…Wolves say who?…Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
- Ghost Jokes: Knock knock…Who’s there?…Boo!…Boo who?…No, no, don’t cry! I was just kidding.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi.
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Ivana…Ivana who?…Ivana suck your blood.
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Frank…Frank who?…Frankenstein!
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Orange…Orange who?…Orange you glad it’s Halloween?!
- Ghost Jokes: Knock knock..Who’s there?…The ghost and the invisible man…The ghost and the invisible man who?…Long time no see!
- Witch Jokes: Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You’re lemonade!
- Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?… His heart wasn’t in it.
- Why did the skeleton cross the road?… To get to the body shop.
- What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?… “Trike or Treat”?
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?… Shamboo!
- When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?… When you’re a mouse.
- What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, Poodle and a ghost?… A cocker poodle boo.
- What do moms dress up as on Halloween?… Mummies!
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?… Booberries!
- What does a witch use to keep her hair up?… Scarespray!
- Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?… Because they have a lot of spirit. Sports
- What did one owl say to the other owl?… Happy Owl-ween!
- Why is a skeleton so mean?… He doesn’t have a heart.
- What goes around a haunted house and never stops?… A fence.
- What do vampires take when they are sick?… Coffin drops!
- What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?… Count Quackula!
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?… Booberry pie!
- Ghost Jokes: Where do ghosts buy their food?…. At the ghost-ery store!
- What’s a monster’s favorite bean?… A human bean.
- Ghost Jokes: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?… Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
- Ghost Jokes: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?… He didn’t have a haunting license.
- Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?… At the casketeria.
- Ghost Jokes: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?… He is mist.
- Where did the goblin throw the football?… Over the ghoul line.
- What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?… A toasty ghosty.
- Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?… He heard it had great circulation.
- Ghost Jokes: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?… Whipped scream.
- What happens when two vampires meet?… It was love at first bite!
- Who was the most famous ghost detective?… Sherlock Moans.
- What do you call two spiders that just got married?… Newlywebbed
- Ghost Jokes: What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?… Scream or sugar!
- Which building does Dracula visit in New York?… The Vampire State Building.
- Where do most werewolves live?… In Howllywood, California
- Where do most goblins live?… in North and South Scarolina.
- Ghost Jokes: Where does a ghost refuel his porche?…At a ghastly station.
- What do Italian’s eat on Halloween?… Fettucinni Afraid-o
- What do you call a little monsters parents?… mummy and deady
- What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?…. sour-puss
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts eat for breakfast?… Boo-Berries. Cereal Day Jokes
- How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?… All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. (Top Donut Day Jokes)
- What songs does Dracula hate?…”You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.”
- What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done?… Ok, that’s a wrap.
- How does a girl vampire flirt?… She bats her eyes.
- Why did Dracula go to the dentist?… He had a fang-ache.
- Why are vampires like false teeth?… They all come out at night.
- Ghost Jokes: What kind of gum do ghosts chew?… Boo Boo Gum.
- Why did Dracula take cold medicine?… To stop his coffin.
- Ghost Jokes: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?… A boo-tie.
- What type of dog does every vampire have?… Bloodhound!
- Where did the ghost get it’s hair done?…At the boo-ty shop.
- Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?… a coffin.
- Witch Jokes: What do they teach in witching school?… Spelling.
- Witch Jokes: What do you call a witch’s garage?… A broom closet.
- Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street?…He was dying to get to the other side!!
- What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car?… Fasten your sheet belts.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?… He didn’t have the guts.
- Why was the mummy so tense?… Because he was all wound up.
- Why did the vampire need mouthwash?… Because he had bat breath.
- Ghost Jokes: Why don’t ghost have bands?…They get booooooooooed.
- What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?… A cereal killer.
- Who are some of the werewolves cousins?… The whatwolves, the whowolves and the when wolves.
- What did the bird say on Halloween?… Trick or tweet!
- Why do skeletons drink milk?…To help their bones!
- What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song?… Another one bites the dust!
- What is a Skeleton’s favorite song?… Bad to the Bone.
- Ghost Jokes: Whats a ghost’s favorite type of car?… A boo-ick
- Ghost Jokes: Where do ghost go for fun?…To the boo-vies.
- Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?… it raises their spirits.
- Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights?… He’s all bone & no muscle.
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to the halloween party?… Because he had no body to go with.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite band?… The Boos Brothers
- What did Dracula have for dessert?… Whine & Ice scream
- What is Dracula’s favorite restaurant?… Murder King.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a Ghost’s favorite food?… HamBoogers
- Ghost Jokes: What is in a ghost’s nose?… Boogers
- Ghost Jokes: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?… You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!
- Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?… People are dying to get in!
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts eat for supper?… Spooketi
- What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?… Candy corneas.
- Ghost Jokes: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?… It didn’t have a haunting license.
- Ghost Jokes: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?… The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
- Which monster t is the best dancer?… The Boogie Man!
- Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?… It raises their spirits.
- Ghost Jokes: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?… Bamboo.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?… Booberry pie.
- Ghost Jokes: A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
- Ghost Jokes: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?… It dampens their spirits!
- Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?… She heard he grew another foot!
