Ghost Jokes

by | Oct 25, 2025 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

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  1. Music Jokes: What 1985 concert do all ghosts HATE?… Live Aid.
  2. Pumpkin Pun: I used a pumpkin to summon ghosts. It was an Ouija gourd.
  3. What does a ghost keep in its stable?… Nightmares.
  4. What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?…A cariboo!
  5. What pants do ghosts wear?… BOO jeans.
  6. What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
  7. What do ghosts serve for dessert?…I scream.
  8. Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?… Day scare! 
  9. What does a panda ghost eat?…. Bam-BOO!
  10. Bastille Day Jokes: What’s a ghost’s favorite part of Bastille Day?… The “boo-langeries.”
  11. Bastille Day Jokes: Which ghost was president of France?… Charles de Ghoul.
  12. What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?…”Spook when you’re spooken to.”
  13. How do phantoms travel?… Ghost to ghost.
  14. Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
  15. Where did the ghost go on vacation?… The BOO-hamas!
  16. What do you do when you see a ghost?…Run away of course!
  17. How do ghosts like their eggs?…Terror-fried.
  18. What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?…The actors get stage fright.
  19. Why was the little ghost crying?…Because he wanted his mummy.
  20. What kind of candy won’t a ghost touch?…Life Savers.
  21. What is a ghost’s favorite ride?… A roller-ghoster.
  22. Where do ghosts get their mail?…At the ghost office.
  23. Why don’t you eat ghosts?…They’ll go right through you.
  24. American Revolution Jokes: What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
  25. Music Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… Spirit in the night.
  26. Field Trip Jokes: What kind of pants do ghosts wear on a field trip?…Boo jeans!
  27. What game is most played on Friday the 13th?… Hide and Ghost Seek.
  28. On July 4th, what did the ghost say?… Red, white, and boo!
  29. Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?…To the living room!
  30. What does a ghost call his mom and dad?… His transparents.
  31. What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.” 
  32. Friday the 13th jokes aren’t unlucky, but telling one before bedtime might just invite a ghostly audience.
  33. Why was the ghost so tired?… He worked the graveyard shift. 
  34. What pants do ghosts wear to the Friday the 13th dance?…BOO jeans.
  35. Ghost Jokes: Where do ghosts get their mail?…At the ghost office.
  36. What do skeletons say at the front door?…”Crick or creak!”
  37. What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?…Any old girl he can dig up. 
  38. Why was the big hairy, two-headed monster top of the class in school?… Because two heads are better than one.
  39. Frankenstein and Dracula had a tennis match. Who won?…Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks! (sorry PG 13)
  40. Ghost Jokes: What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?…A cariboo!
  41. Why doesn’t a witch wear a flat hat?…Because there’s no point in it!
  42. What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?…French FRIGHTS!
  43. Ghost Jokes: Why don’t you eat ghosts?…They’ll go right through you.
  44. What games do bats like to play on Halloween?… Anything with a ball. 
  45. What do you read on Halloween?…BOO-ks
  46. Why can’t Dracula play baseball?…He lost his bat.
  47. What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?…Halloween!
  48. What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?…A Hallo-weenie!
  49. What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the guitar?…The neck. 
  50. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Wolves say…Wolves say who?…Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
  51. Ghost Jokes: Knock knock…Who’s there?…Boo!…Boo who?…No, no, don’t cry! I was just kidding.
  52. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
  53. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd.
  54. What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi.
  55. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Ivana…Ivana who?…Ivana suck your blood.
  56. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Frank…Frank who?…Frankenstein!
  57. Knock knock…Who’s there?…Orange…Orange who?…Orange you glad it’s Halloween?!
  58. Ghost Jokes: Knock knock..Who’s there?…The ghost and the invisible man…The ghost and the invisible man who?…Long time no see!
  59. Witch Jokes: Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You’re lemonade! 
  60. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?… His heart wasn’t in it.
  61. Why did the skeleton cross the road?… To get to the body shop. 
  62. What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?… “Trike or Treat”?
  63. Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?… Shamboo!
  64. When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?… When you’re a mouse.
  65. What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, Poodle and a ghost?… A cocker poodle boo.
  66. What do moms dress up as on Halloween?… Mummies! 
  67. Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?… Booberries!
  68. What does a witch use to keep her hair up?… Scarespray!
  69. Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?… Because they have a lot of spirit. Sports
  70. What did one owl say to the other owl?… Happy Owl-ween!
  71. Why is a skeleton so mean?… He doesn’t have a heart. 
  72. What goes around a haunted house and never stops?… A fence.
  73. What do vampires take when they are sick?… Coffin drops! 
  74. What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?… Count Quackula!
  75. Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?… Booberry pie!
  76. Ghost Jokes: Where do ghosts buy their food?…. At the ghost-ery store!
  77. What’s a monster’s favorite bean?… A human bean.
  78. Ghost Jokes: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?… Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
  79. Ghost Jokes: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?… He didn’t have a haunting license.
  80. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?… At the casketeria.
  81. Ghost Jokes: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?… He is mist.
  82. Where did the goblin throw the football?… Over the ghoul line.
  83. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?… A toasty ghosty.
  84. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?… He heard it had great circulation. 
  85. Ghost Jokes: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?… Whipped scream.
  86. What happens when two vampires meet?… It was love at first bite!
  87. Who was the most famous ghost detective?… Sherlock Moans.
  88. What do you call two spiders that just got married?… Newlywebbed
  89. Ghost Jokes: What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?… Scream or sugar!
  90. Which building does Dracula visit in New York?… The Vampire State Building. 
  91. Where do most werewolves live?… In Howllywood, California 
  92. Where do most goblins live?… in North and South Scarolina. 
  93. Ghost Jokes: Where does a ghost refuel his porche?…At a ghastly station.
  94. What do Italian’s eat on Halloween?… Fettucinni Afraid-o
  95. What do you call a little monsters parents?… mummy and deady
  96. What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?…. sour-puss
  97. Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts eat for breakfast?… Boo-Berries. Cereal Day Jokes
  98. How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?… All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. (Top Donut Day Jokes)
  99. What songs does Dracula hate?…”You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.”
  100. What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done?… Ok, that’s a wrap. 
  101. How does a girl vampire flirt?… She bats her eyes.
  102. Why did Dracula go to the dentist?… He had a fang-ache.
  103. Why are vampires like false teeth?… They all come out at night. 
  104. Ghost Jokes: What kind of gum do ghosts chew?… Boo Boo Gum. 
  105. Why did Dracula take cold medicine?… To stop his coffin.
  106. Ghost Jokes: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?… A boo-tie.
  107. What type of dog does every vampire have?… Bloodhound!
  108. Where did the ghost get it’s hair done?…At the boo-ty shop.
  109. Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?… a coffin.
  110. Witch Jokes: What do they teach in witching school?… Spelling. 
  111. Witch Jokes: What do you call a witch’s garage?… A broom closet.
  112. Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street?…He was dying to get to the other side!!
  113. What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car?… Fasten your sheet belts.
  114. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?… He didn’t have the guts. 
  115. Why was the mummy so tense?… Because he was all wound up. 
  116. Why did the vampire need mouthwash?…  Because he had bat breath.
  117. Ghost Jokes: Why don’t ghost have bands?…They get booooooooooed.
  118. What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?… A cereal killer.
  119. Who are some of the werewolves cousins?… The whatwolves, the whowolves and the when wolves.
  120. What did the bird say on Halloween?… Trick or tweet!
  121. Why do skeletons drink milk?…To help their bones! 
  122. What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song?… Another one bites the dust!
  123. What is a Skeleton’s favorite song?… Bad to the Bone. 
  124. Ghost Jokes: Whats a ghost’s favorite type of car?… A boo-ick
  125. Ghost Jokes: Where do ghost go for fun?…To the boo-vies.
  126. Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?… it raises their spirits.
  127. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights?… He’s all bone & no muscle. 
  128. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the halloween party?… Because he had no body to go with.
  129. Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite band?… The Boos Brothers
  130. What did Dracula have for dessert?… Whine & Ice scream
  131. What is Dracula’s favorite restaurant?… Murder King.
  132. Ghost Jokes: What is a Ghost’s favorite food?… HamBoogers
  133. Ghost Jokes: What is in a ghost’s nose?… Boogers 
  134. Ghost Jokes: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?… You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!
  135. Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?… People are dying to get in! 
  136. Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts eat for supper?… Spooketi
  137. What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?… Candy corneas.
  138. Ghost Jokes: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?… It didn’t have a haunting license.
  139. Ghost Jokes: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?… The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
  140. Which monster t is the best dancer?… The Boogie Man!
  141. Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?… It raises their spirits.
  142. Ghost Jokes: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?… Bamboo.
  143. Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?… Booberry pie.
  144. Ghost Jokes: A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
  145. Ghost Jokes: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?… It dampens their spirits!
  146. Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?… She heard he grew another foot! 

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