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Google Search “101 Lord of the Rings Jokes”
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Lord of the Rings jokes.
- I would tell some good Lord of the Rings jokes… But all the good ones ara-gone!
- Marriage Jokes: Lord of the Rings Life Lesson: Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane!
- Music Jokes: What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles!
- I went to an Apple Store and set up alarms on all of the phones…. I was Lord of the Rings!
- California Jokes: Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.?… Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug.
- Movie Jokes: Movie Review for The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry.
- Psychology Jokes: I was once obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings”. The books, the movies, the collectables, everything… Finally I was able to kick the hobbit.
- Hobbits are really good people… they don’t look down on anyone.
- How did Frodo Baggins know when his neighbor had died?… He read it in the Hobbituary.
- Movie Jokes: Why did the Lord of the Rings author got kicked out of the movie theater… He was Tolkien all the way through!
- Black Friday Jokes: What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?… One ring to rule the mall!
- The Hobbit pinball machine is AMAZING… It doesn’t accept any coins though, only a Tolkien.
- I like it when people call me Precious… It has such a nice ring to it!
- I belong to a Lord of the Rings Society, and we have a secret sign… It is a Tolkien gesture.
- Movie Jokes: Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called “You Tolkien to me?”
- Marriage Jokes: I’ve been reading ‘Lord Of The Rings’ and apparently, Gollum was once a normal man, but wearing the ring drained him of his youth, energy and any joy in life… Must be the same ring I put on when I got married.
- Marriage Jokes: Samwise is preparing for his wedding. He gathers his fellow hobbits around and then turns to Pippin. “Pippin, I want you to be my best man.” Pippin is overjoyed, but before he can celebrate, there’s a sound of someone crying, he turns and sees Frodo standing there with teary eyes. “But Sam, what about me?” Frodo sobs. Sam chuckles and says “Don’t be silly, Mister Frodo, you’re the ring bearer!”
- Dad Jokes: My dad set up a booth at a Renaissance Fair where people can dress up as Frodo from Lord of the Rings exclusively… It was his Frodo-Booth.
- Hey, Gandalf! What’s your favorite kind of insect?… FLY, YOU FOOLS!
- Teacher Jokes for August: My teacher must really like Lord of the Rings… Whenever I ask about my grades she just says “You shall not pass!”
- What do you call a chubby hobbit?… Low Fat.
- Wedding Jokes: What was Frodo at Aragorn and Arwen’s wedding?… The Ring-bearer!
- A human, an elf and an orc walk into a bar…The Hobbit laughs and walks under it!
- Movie Jokes: Do you think Daniel Radcliffe could ever play a hobbit?… No, but Elijah Would!
- Boxing Jokes: How did the hobbit ruin the boxing match?… He tried to destroy the ring!
- Labor Day Jokes: Why was Gandalf hunched over and stressed out?… He was short-staffed!
- Christmas Jokes: I’m going to a Lord of the Rings themed Xmas party… I’m going to eat and be Merry!
- Christmas Jokes: I’m throwing a hobbit Christmas party… It’s just a little get-together!
- Tree Jokes: Dancing trees?… Now that’s ENT-ertainment.
- Music Jokes: Who is Treebeard’s favorite musician?… John Entwistle.
- Wedding Jokes: Why did the Best Man go to Mount Doom?… Because he was the Ring-bearer!
- Why don’t you ask a hobbit for money?… Because they’re always a little short.
- Where do Hobbits ride horses?… At the Frodeo.
- Which Lord of the Rings character has no toys to play with?… Legoless!
- Why are Hobbit doors round?… If you ate seven meals a day you’d need round doors too!
- Movie Jokes: What do you call a movie about a gangster hobbit?… Yolo Swaggins and the Fellowship of the Bling.
- President Jokes: If Frodo was the President of the Fellowship, what position would Gandalf have?… Chief of Staff.
- What do you call a hobbit eating at KFC?… Lord of the Wings.
- What did Gandalf say when an onion tried to cross the bridge?… You shallot pass!
- Why should you try to be nice to a hobbit?… Because he’s got a short temper.
- Book Jokes: J.R.R. Tolkien and Angela Lansbury have paired up for a middle-earth murder mystery… Mordor She Wrote.
- Doctor Jokes: What ward does Sauron visit in the hospital?… The I see you. (ICU).
- Book Jokes: What is the best book to read in autumn?… Gourd of the Rings.
- Marriage Jokes: Why Lord of the Rings is a metaphor for life?… Man puts ring on finger, slowly goes insane!
- What do you call a Lord of Rings fan with a sprained ankle?… A hobblit.
- What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings?… At elven o’clock!
- I bought myself a 6 ft boomerang with Lord of the Rings characters on it… It’s really hard to Frodo!
- How do you cross a troll bridge in Middle Earth?… You use J.R.R. tokens!
- In Lord of the Rings, you always have to make reservations at the restaurant… Because one does not simply walk in.
- Bird Jokes: What is Gollum’s favorite bird?… A smea-gull.
- Movie Jokes: Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard.
- Golf Jokes: What do you call a wizard who can hit a white ball with a club?… Cangolf!
- Book Jokes: If Charles Dickens wrote The Lord of the Rings, how would the novel have started?… It was the best of Shires. It was the Worcestershires.
- Psychology Jokes: Gandalf decided to go to the Shire, and to his surprise found Frodo and Sam making meth. “Why would you ever do such a thing!” He exclaimed. “Well you see Mr Gandalf, after our adventure we haven’t been able to feel the euphoria of being a hero until we tried this wonderful magic crystal,” said Frodo. “That’s it!”, said Gandalf. “I’m opening up a rehabilitation center. When I come back in a year, this had better be cleaned up!” A year passes and Gandalf returns. Alas, the hobbits are strewn about with their spoons and needles. Gandalf scoffs, “Breaking Bad Hobbits is going to be harder than I thought.”
- What time did Tolkien finish Lord of the Rings?… At elven o’clock.
- What do you call a reference to the Eye of Sauron?… An optical allusion.
- What kind of company did Sauron start?… Brick & Mordor.
- Music Jokes: Why didn’t they fly the eagles to Mordor?… Because they were too busy making a new album.
- Police Jokes: What do you get when you mix Frodo, Bilbo, and a cyborg police officer?… Frobo Cop.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Frodo… Frodo who?… I’m afraid of what might happen if you never open that door!
- What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings played in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall.
- Bee Jokes: Nine bees made their way to Mordor… It was the fellowship of the Sting.
- What do you call a hobbit party?… A little get together.
- Did you know that they are creating a version of The Lord of the Rings for young children?… Apparently, they are changing Legolas’ name to ‘Duplolas’ in this version.
- Geography Jokes: Why didn’t they make Lord Of The Rings in Mexico?… Because Juan does not simply walk into Mordor.
- Marriage Jokes: One ring rules your life, it slowly destroys you, and sometimes, death seems easier than continuing on.
- Bee Jokes: Frodo and Sam were sitting outside, observing an insect. Neither of them were quite sure what kind of insect it was. “Is it a mosquito?” said Frodo, to which Sam replied, “No Mister Frodo, I think it’s some kind of bee?” They then saw Gandalf walking by, and they asked him whether he possibly knew what kind of insect it was. He looked at the insect for only a moment, before replying, “Fly, you fools.”
- How do hobbits make sure their clothes dry quickly?… One rule: to wring them all.
- What do you call 8 hobbits?… A hobbyte.
- Astronomy Jokes: What is Saturn’s favorite movie?… Lord of the Rings.
- The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters… Only Tolkiens
- Would you accept the offer to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings trilogy?… Because Elijah Wood.
- Did you hear about the new Lord of the Rings spin-off?… It’s about a newborn Frodo and you can hear everything he’s thinking. It’s called Look Who’s Tolkien Now.
- There is a deleted scene in Lord of the Rings when Bilbo and Frodo run into a long-lost hipster cousin. Douche Baggins.
- Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, and Gandalf walk into a bar Gimli and the Hobbits are short enough to walk under it.
- Psychology Jokes: It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie.
- Music Jokes: For his Eleventy-first birthday, instead of fireworks, Bilbo initially asked Gandalf if he could bring the band that plays Dream Police to perform a concert at the party. This enraged Gandalf however, as Bilbo Baggins took him for some conjurer of Cheap Trick.
- Tree Jokes: What is a woodchipper called in Lord of the Rings?… An Ent-eater.
- Psychology Jokes: What do you call introverted hobbits?… Shyer folk.
- Book Jokes: What is the Witch-king’s favorite book?… The Grapes of Wraith!
- Ocean Jokes: What do the Elves call their friends living by the sea?… Watermellons.
- Galadriel: This is Nenya, the Ring of Adamant, and I am its keeper. Frodo: What does it do? Galadriel: Nenya business!
- Movie Jokes: Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire.
- Archery Jokes: The Elves in The Lord of Rings look down upon anyone who is different from them… It’s pretty messed up, they’re so arrow minded.
- Which Lord of the Rings character loves to lend himself to others?… Boro-mir.
- High School Jokes: Where do Orcs go to school?… Uruk-Hai.
- What do hobbit homes with no entrances need?… More doors.
- Labor Day Jokes: What is an accountant’s favorite Lord of the Rings movie?… The Return of the King.
- Why did Gimli have to be a part of the Fellowship?… He was the Tolkien minority.
- Doctor Jokes: At a hospital, the mother is holding a new born child. Mother: You have my eyes. Father: And my smile. Aragorn: you have my sword. Legolas: And you have my bow. Gimli: And my axe. Nurse: Can we get security in here please, they are back again!
- Why was Gandalf always smoking that pipe?… Because he had a bad Hobbit!
- What do you need to play the new Lord of the Rings pinball game?… Tolkiens.
- Geography Jokes: What do you call a wizard from Uganda?… A uGandalf.
- Music Jokes: I want to make a Lord of the Rings themed metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nazgul… Nazgul who?… Nazguls don’t but I do.
- Why did Gollum leave the room every time Sam and Frodo lit their pipes?… He couldn’t stand being around such filthy habitses.
- What do you call a balrog wearing earmuffs?… Anything you want – it can’t hear you!
- Pippen: Treebeard, you’re covered in moss, do you like it? Treebeard: Well, it kind of grows on you.
- Why can’t you enter Sauron’s lair?… Because there’s always one Mordor.
- What’s Frodo short for?… He’s a hobbit.