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- President Jokes
- Top 50 February Jokes
- George Washington Jokes:
- Election Jokes
Google Search “Presidents’ Day Jokes”
My Town Tutors loves a good laugh. Over the years we have acquired many jokes. Hopefully you find them useful and can have some fun with them
- February Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Presidents’ Day jokes.
- Presidents’ Day is a sad reminder my wallet is filled with pictures of only the first one.
- Why do Americans choose just 2 people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
- What flavor gum does the President prefer?…. Governmint.
- Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… George Washington… George Washington who?… George Washington who?!! Didn’t you learn anything in history class?!!
- Andrew Johnson was the first US leader to ever be impeached… You could say it was unpresidented.
- What’s the most popular automobile brand for presidents?… Lincoln.
- Teacher: “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?” Student: “Because he still had the axe in his hand.”
- How did you become a hero?… “It was involuntary. They sank my boat.” John F. Kennedy
- What does Donald Trump call kayaks?… Fake #canoes.
- How many presidential aides does it take to change a light bulb?… None. They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.
- If George Washington were alive today, why couldn’t he throw a silver dollar across the Potomac?… Because a dollar doesn’t go as far as it used to!
- Which rock group has four men who don’t sing?… Mount Rushmore.
- “My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.” President Jimmy Carter
- Which former president planted the most trees?… Wood-row Wilson!
- Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks.
- What kind of tea did the George Washington thirst for?… Libertea!
- How did George Washington describe things?… In general terms.
- What would George Washington be if he were alive today?… Really, really, really old.
- Who was the funniest person in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
- Who was the youngest US president?… BABE Lincoln.
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
- What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cow food?… The fodder of our country!
- What do you call a Nebraskan who hates Democratic Presidents?… A CORNservative. n
- Which former president planted the most Christmas trees?… Wood-row Wilson!
- “An atheist is a guy who watches a Notre Dame – SMU football game and doesn’t care who wins.” Dwight Eisenhower
- Why aren’t there many Civil War jokes?… People General Lee don’t find them #funny…
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
- Do you know why they buried George H. W. In Houston instead of his beloved #Kennebunkport?… Because it’s way too cold for planting Bushes in Maine.
- Teacher: “Do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No. I thought he lived in Washington!”
- Why did Barack Obama bulldoze the Rose Garden?… He didn’t want any Bushes at the White House.
- Knock, knock…. Who’s there?… Abraham Lincoln… Abraham Lincoln who?… Seriously?… You must have done terrible in history class…
- Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
- EVICTED FAMILY NEEDS HELP MOVING! MUST BE OUT BY JANUARY 20th! Please send any unneeded moving supplies to: 1600 Pennsylvania Ave NW Washington, DC 20500.
- I love February brcasue it contains 2 of my favorite annual events Groundhog Day, and the State Of The Union Address. 1 involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
- How was George Washington able to be so healthy?… He had a strong constitution.
- Which US president was able to clean up government wrongdoing?… WASHington.
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
- Have you seen the picture of Mount Rushmore before it was carved… It’s completely unprecedented.
- Why didn’t George Washington’s father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree?… Because George was still holding the axe…
- What’s the difference between a platypus and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face, the other has his face on a bill.
- What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?… They were all born on holidays.
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
- #HappyPresidentsDay @LincolnMotorCo! Why did George Washington have the soldier arrested?… For committing Valley Forgery…
- What do you call a #PresidentsDay parade with a Mardi Gras theme?… A krewe-sade of presidential masks!
- Which one of Washington’s officer’s had the best sense of #humor?… Laughafayette.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Presidents’ Day?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Presidents’ Day knock-knock joke?
- Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?…. Because he couldn’t lie.
- Did Lincoln know that the North would win the Civil War?… After a while, he took it for Grant-ed!
- How did George Washington speak to his army?…. In general terms
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
- Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
- What would you get if you crossed the sixteenth president with a famous slugger?…. Babe Lincoln
- What do you call George Washington’s false teeth?… Presidentures!
- Teacher: “John, do you know Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address?” Student: “No, Miss Frump. I thought he lived in Washington!”
- What US president had long legs, a beard, and an unusual smell?… Abraham Stinkin
- What would you get if you crossed a gorilla with the sixteenth US president?…. Ape Lincoln!
- Why was Abraham Lincoln barn in a log cabin?… Because it was too cold to be born outside!
- Why did Abe Lincoln grow a beard?… He wanted to look like that guy on the five-dollar bill.
- Why did Lincoln wear a tall, black hat?… To keep his head warm!
- Why did they call Lincoln “Honest Abe”?… Because that’s what it said on all his campaign buttons.
- Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!
- George Washington Jokes American Revolution Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best George Washington jokes.
- Election Jokes: “George Washington is the only president who didn’t blame the previous administration for his troubles.” Author Unknown
- Was General Washington a handsome man?… Yes, he was George-eous!!
- Army Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
- What did King George think of George Washington?… He thought he was revolting!
- George Washington Jokes: Where did the General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies
- Delaware Jokes: I finally realized why the painting of Washington crossing the Delaware is such a big deal… It depicts the last time someone willingly entered New Jersey.
- Delaware Jokes: What did George Washington say when crossing the Delaware?… “Row, row, row your boat… quietly.”
- What would you get if you crossed the first US president with an animated character?… George Washingtoon!
- Delaware Jokes: Why was George Washington a great leader?… He always knew how to cross the Delaware without a hitch!
- Delaware Jokes: What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?… ”Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”
- Delaware Jokes: What did George Washington say when he crossed the Delaware River?… “I’m going to make this crossing great again!”