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- Grinch Jokes: What do you call the chocolate bars the Grinch stole?… Hot Chocolate.
- What do people say when they hear the Grinch stealing from them?… Who goes there?
- Why did Winnie the Pooh call the police?… Because he saw Christopher Robin!
- Spaghetti Jokes: How did the police solve the case of the stolen marinara sauce?… They caught the thief red-handed!
- Dad Jokes: What is the job of Winnie the Pooh’s father?… POOHlice! He is a Poohliceman.
- Illinois Jokes: Why did the police show up at a party in Chicago?… They received an Illinoisey complaint.
- Boston Celtics Jokes: 2024 NBA Finals: Why was the Massachusetts State Police looking for Jaylen Brown and Jason Tatum?… They are “partners in crime.”
- If Santa Claus is crossed with a detective then you would get what?… Santa Clues!
- Grinch Jokes: What does the Grinch see with?… Burglarize!
- Alaska Jokes: The day after his wife vanished in a kayaking accident, a man from Anchorage, opened his door to find two serious-looking Alaska State Troopers standing before him. “Sir we regret to inform you that we have news regarding your wife,” one trooper began. “Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens blurted out, anxiously. The troopers exchanged glances. One spoke, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some fantastic news. Which would you like to hear first?” Bracing himself, a pale Mr. Wilkens responded, “Give me the bad news.” The trooper said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we recovered your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay this morning.” “Oh no!” gasped Wilkens. After a moment, he gathered himself and asked, “So, what’s the good news?” The trooper explained, “Well, when we brought her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs, and six large Dungeness crabs attached to her. We’re confident you’re entitled to a share of the catch.” Stunned, Wilkens asked, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the fantastic news?” With a straight face, the trooper replied, “We’re pulling her up again tomorrow.”
- Thanksgiving Jokes: Why did the police officer stop Mom on the way home from Thanksgiving?… Because she far exceeded the feed limit.
- Did you hear about the map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.
- What do you call a great dog detective?… Sherlock Bones!
- Why did the pumpkin get an early release from jail?… Gourd behavior.
- What did the police officer do when he saw a dog giving birth on the side of the road?… Gave her a ticket for littering.
- Thanksgiving Jokes: Why did the police arrest the turkey?… They suspected it of fowl play!
- Baseball Jokes: This really was supposed to be a joke! Why did the MLB baseball manager get fired?… for stealing signs.
- What do you get when you mix Frodo, Bilbo, and a cyborg police officer?… Frobo Cop.
- Watermelon Jokes: What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes?… a waterfelon.
- Watermelon Jokes: What do you call a serial killer watermelon?… A slaughter melon.
- Watermelon Jokes: Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?… It was a slaughter melon.
- Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: What do you a call a Chocolate Chip cookie who loves to steal?… A crook-ie!
- Camping Jokes: The famous detective Sherlock Holmes and his best friend and partner Dr. Watson decide to take a break from their latest crime-solving efforts and go camping. After setting up camp and settling down into their sleeping bags, they drift off to sleep. Sometime later, Sherlock asks: “Watson, are you awake?” “Yes,” he says. “Look up at the stars and tell me: What can you deduce from them?” Sherlock asks. Watson thinks for some time before responding: “While someone may be able to number them, the stars are, for all intents and purposes, countless. Given the sheer number of them, it is reasonable to assume that some are suns circled by planets, some of which may be very like our own. There is a chance, however small, that there is life on at least one of those, meaning that we are not alone in the universe.” Holmes sighs: “Watson, you dolt. Someone’s taken our tent!”
- Baseball Jokes: Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?… Someone stole second base!
- What does the Alaska police say in an interrogation?… Alaska questions here!
- Why is a traffic policeman the strongest man in the world?… Because, he can stop a 10 ton truck by holding up his hand!
- This is the Alaska State Police… Where were you during the night of November 14th to February 12th?
- Skiing Jokes: I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt… I’m so excited I can barely put on my ski mask.
- Why was the detective at the beach?… There was a crime wave! (Top Summer Jokes for Kids)
- Why wouldn’t the policeman come out from under the covers?… He was arresting!
- What did the police man said to his tummy?… You are under a vest!
- A state trooper was asked on an exam “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?” ANSWER: “CALL FOR BACKUP!
- Did you hear about the kidnapping?…. He’s still sleeping!
- What kind of metal do they have at a police station?… copper! (101 Mole Day Jokes)
- Why did the policeman go to the baseball game?… Because he heard that someone had stolen a base! (Top Baseball Jokes)
- Why was the cop in bed?… Because he was an undercover cop!
- Which 4 letters frighten a thief?… O i c u! (26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
- What do you call a flying policeman?… A helicopper!
- A man was driving down the highway and he was pulled over by a policeman. The policeman said “You were driving 85 miles per hour.” The Driver: “Don’t be ridiculous” the man said, “I’ve only been driving twenty minutes”!
- What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes?… a waterfelon. (Watermelon Jokes)
- The policeman said to the wig shopkeeper, “Sorry, we haven’t found your stolen wigs yet, but we have been combing the the area!”
- A police officer spots a car on the highway going about 22mph, so he stops the car, with a lady and some of her friends, and tells the lady how dangerous is to be going slow as it is to speed. The lady answers “Officer I was going the speed limit! 22mph!”The officer says… that is the highway #.. That’s what highway you’re on. But I need to ask you, are your friends okay, they seem a little shaken up and pale. The driver answers “Oh they’ll be fine in a couple of seconds, we just got off of highway 119.”
- There were three people named Trouble, Your Manners, and Be Quiet. One day Trouble fell into a hole. Your Manners and Be Quiet went to the police station for help. Your Manners waited outside and Be Quiet went inside. The front police officer asked: What is your name? BQ: Be Quiet. PO: Where are your manners? BQ: Outside. PO: Are you looking for trouble? BQ: Yes.
- Why did the police arrest the chef?… Because he was caught beating an egg! (Egg Jokes)
- Which jam does a policeman use on his bread?… Traffic jam!
- What are the pipes at the police station made of?… Copper! (101 Mole Day Jokes)
- Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Police. Police who?… Police let us in; it’s cold out here. (Winter Jokes)
- What kind of treat do they feed prisoners ?… Jail- y donuts. (Donut Jokes)
- The police are looking for a thief with one eye… Why don’t the use both? (Biology Jokes)
- What is a detective’s ultimate car?… A track-tor! (Farming Jokes)
- What kind of jam does a policeman have in his sandwich?… A traffic jam!
- What’s a cop’s favorite food?… Corn on the cop! (Top Summer Jokes for Kids)
- What did the headlines say when the very short fortune teller escaped the police?… Small Medium at Large!”
- Why did the policeman have a blanket over himself?… He was working undercover!
- Policeman: Why are you driving without a license? Motorist: Because it was revoked months ago.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Police. Police who?… Police stop telling these awful knock, knock jokes!