Hiking Jokes

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• 101 Hiking Jokes

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1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best hiking jokes.
2. June 7th, 2025 National Trails Day: I just made a hiking playlist for National Trails Day! It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
3. June 7th, 2025 National Trails Day: Take A Hike… I’m sorry. I mean have a great National Trails Day!
4. What is Sauron’s favorite soda?… Mountain Doom. 
5. Camping Jokes: Two hikers making their way through bear country come around a corner to spot their worst fear: a grizzly. Without pausing a fraction of a second, one of the hikers takes off running, prompting the bear to charge. Forced into action, the second hiker turns and sprints after the first. “What were you thinking?” he shouts. “You’re not supposed to run in a situation like this. You can’t outrun a bear!” “I don’t have to outrun the bear,” his friend shouts back over his shoulder. “I just have to outrun you.”
6. What do you call a mountain’s son?… Cliff!
7. I’m not sure how I feel about hiking…It has its ups and downs!
8. What is the laziest mountain in the world called?… Mount Ever-rest!
9. Oregon Jokes: What kind of jacket do you wear on a hike?… A trail blazer!
10. Where do apples like to go hiking?… Mount Fuji.
11. Why don’t mountains get lost?… Because they always peak at the map!
12. Book Jokes: Why are mountains so good at telling stories?… Because they have tall tales!
13. King Jokes: What should you say if you see a royal out on a walk?… ‘Hi, king!’
14. Music Jokes: What’s a hiker’s favorite type of music?… Rock and roll!
15. What do you call a hiker with lots of friends?… A social climber!
16. Book Jokes: Why was the book about mountains so interesting?… Because it had so many cliff-hangers.
17. My friend and I got into an argument about getting lost on a hike…I don’t know where I stand!
18. The worst thing about reaching the top of the mountain?… It’s all downhill from there!
19. Did you hear about the mountaineer who’s getting more money?… It’s a pay hike!
20. I’m always hesitant to jump over big rocks when hiking… I wish I was boulder!
21. Moles over dramatize everything… They make mountains out of mole hills.
22. My father asked me how my last hike went. I told him, “It had its ups and downs.”
23. Who should carry the bear mace when #hiking with friends?… The slowest runner.
24. My friend and I were #hiking. Me: “That’s a huge rock over there!” Him: “#Boulder.” Me: “THAT’S A HUGE ROCK OVER THERE.” 
25. Washington Jokes: When do you need an umbrella for hiking?… When you’re climbing Mt. Rain-ier.
26. What do you call a hiker with no map?… Lost!
27. What’s a hiker’s favorite season?… Fall, because it’s un-be-leaf-able!
28. Two men are hiking through the woods when one of them cries out, “Snake! Run!” His companion laughs at him. “Oh, relax. It’s only a baby,” he says. “Don’t you hear the rattle?”
29. Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it!
30. Why did the grandmother start hiking?… She wanted to prove she still had some miles left in her!
31. On a hike today the mosquitoes were relentless… They were really out for blood.
32. What do you call a bear caught in the rain?… A drizzly bear!
33. Egg Jokes: How did the egg get up the mountain?… It scrambled up.
35.  
36. What do centers wear on their feet?… #Hiking shoes.
37. Why did the #quarterback suddenly walk off the field?… The coach told him to take a hike!
38. Why did the #science #teacher take his class on a #fieldtrip to the #mountains? … They needed higher grades.
39. What do you call a bee that falls down a hill while #hiking?… A stumble bee.
40. If you aren’t cracking a #smile while #hiking on the mountain… then you need to have a little change in altitude!
41. Why did the hiker bring a hammer?… To hit the trail!
42. Why did the baseball bat bring a hammer?… To hit the trail!
43. Why did the softball bat bring a hammer?… To hit the trail!
44. Did you hear the joke about the mountain?… I couldn’t get over it!
45. Which mountain conserves energy all of the time?… Mount Ever rest.   
46. How did Harry Potter get down the hill?… #Walking J/K, rolling.
47. Why did the hiker bring a pan?… To cook up some fun on the trail!
48. How come the #Ghostbusters never made it very far in #Oregon Trail?… They refused to cross streams.
49. June 7th,2025 National Trails Day: I just made a pre-game playlist for basketball. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes / Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
50. What did the tree say to the hiker?… I’m rooting for you!
51. What do you call a hiker with a sense of direction?… Lucky!
52. What do you call a group of musical mountains?… A rock band!
53. Why don’t hikers ever get lost?… They follow the beaten path!
54. What’s a hiker’s favorite candy?… Trail mix!
55. Why did the hiker cross the road?… To get to the other trail!
56. How do fleas travel from place to place?… By itch-hiking!
57. What is a #Colorado clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew.
58. Why don’t mountains wear hats?… Because they have peaks!
59. What is a #mountain’s favorite type of #candy?… #Snow caps.
60. Why wasn’t #drinking permitted on the #Oregon trail?… It was important not to fall off the wagon.
61. Why can’t Mt. Rainier and Mt. Baker play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
62. How does the #Grinch climb Mt. Crumpit?… grinch by grinch.  
63. What did the mountain say to the sun?… Quit peaking at me!
64. Why don’t trees like to hike?… They can’t leave!
65. How do hikers get through tough times?… They just keep climbing!
66. Why are rivers so rich?… Because they have two banks!
67. What’s a hiker’s favorite game?… Hide and peak!
68. Alaska Jokes: “It’s important to remember your survival training when hiking in Alaska… Run like hell and hope your faster than your friend!”
69. Alaska Jokes: Did you hear the joke about Denali (Mount McKinley 20,310 feet)?… You won’t get over it. (A Guide to Alaska’s Grandest Mountains)
70. How do you make a tissue dance on a hiking trip?… Put a little boogie in it!
71. Why are hiking boots always polite?… Because they have good sole!
72. Why don’t hikers like to argue?… Because they prefer to take the high road!
73. Why did the hiker break up with the mountain?… Because the relationship was too rocky!
74. Why do hikers make great friends?… They always stick together!
75. Why do hikers always get good grades?… Because they never take shortcuts!
76. Why don’t mountains get cold in the #winter?… They wear snowcaps.
77. How do hikers avoid getting blisters?… They stick to the path!
78. How do you know when the moon has had enough to eat?… When it’s full.
79. What’s the definition of an acorn tree?… In a nutshell, it’s an oak.
80. 2 guys are walking & come across a bear. The bear chases them. They run as fast as they can. 1 guy gets tired & decides to say a prayer, “Please turn this bear into a #Christian, Lord.” He sees the bear on its knees saying “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to receive.”
81. What did the snow say to the Rocky Mountains?… I’ve got you covered.
82. Where does a burger go on vacation? The Swiss (cheese) #Alps or The Cheeseapeake Valley!
83. Montana, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population.
84. After twelve years of carrying #books to school, you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking.
85. Why can’t the #Grinch get down from the mountain?… You can only get down from a goose.
86. How would you describe the views a peppermint gets while looking at the mountains at summer camp?… Breath Taking!
87. If you’re on a hike and find a fork in the road, what do you do?… Stop for #lunch.
88. How do you start a fire using two pieces of wood?… Make sure one is a matchstick. 
89. The guitar of the noisy teenager at the next campsite makes excellent kindling.
90. In an emergency, a drawstring from a hood can be used to strangle a snoring tent mate.
91. Did you hear the 1 about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him!   @VisitNH #NH
92. How did the geology student drown?… His grades were below C-level
93. What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist?… A chemist will drink anything that is distilled.
94. Watson: Holmes! What kind of rock is this! Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
95. What do you do with a dead geologists?… Barium
96. Why shouldn’t you let a geologist drive your car?… Because they get hammered and stoned.
97. Why did the man climb to the roof of McDonalds?… The told him the meal was on the house!
98. Where do geologists like to relax?… In a rocking chair
99. Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?… They know really “dirty” jokes.
100. Did you know that geologists are athletic?… Yeah, I read it in Quartz illustrated.
101. Did hear the mountain joke?… You won’t get over it! 
102. What do you call a bear on a hiking trail with no teeth?… A gummy bear!
103. How does a train eat on a backpacking trip?… It goes chew chew!
104. Why did the mushroom go on a hike?… Because it was a fungi to be with!
105. How does a tree get on the internet?… It logs in!
106. Why did the hiker choose to go down someone else’s path?… Because they wanted to take a hike on the wild side.
107. Why are trails so smart?… Because they always know the way!
108. I fell over a tree branch when I was hiking…But I’m oaky now!
109. Why do hipsters always follow random rivers when they hike?… They don’t want to be too mainstream!
110. Why was the man bad at hitch-hiking?… He went early to avoid the traffic!
111. How do you know when a hiker has reached the summit?… When they stop posting pictures on Instagram.
112. What did one hiking boot say to the other hiking boot?… Hi-tie!
113. What do you call a group of hikers who constantly argue over which route to take?… The Trail Blazer
114. What did the hiker say when he saw wildlife on the trail?… It’s time to bear down and keep going!
115. What do you call a group of hikers who always bring too much gear?… The Overpackers
116. Why did the backpacker refuse to hike in the hot, broiling sun?… Because he didn’t want a “hike” stroke.
117. What did the hiker say when they reached the end of a beautiful trail?… I can’t believe I made it! I’m “trail-y” proud of myself.
118. Why did the hiker refuse to continue on the trail when they saw mountains ahead?… Because they didn’t want to “peak” too soon
119. Why did the hiker need new boots after just one hike?… Because they fell into an eye canyon and had to hike out with only one boot!
120. I just made a playlist for hiking in California. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix.
121. Why did the backpacker’s knees go on strike during their hike?… Because they were tired of being “em-knee-sed” by all the uneven surfaces.
122. Why did the backpacker’s sleeping bags refuse to zip up all the way?… Because it wanted some “in-tent-ional” ventilation.
123. Why did the backpackers bring a flute on their hiking trip?… as “flute boys” in the bear world.
124. What do you call a backpacker’s playlist?… The “hiking tunes” of their soul.
125. Why did the backpacker feel Oak-ay after their hike?… Because they found some “re-leaf” under the shade of a tree.
126. What did the backpacker’s gear say when they reached the top of a mountain?…“I can’t believe we made it to the tippy-top! It’s such a re-leaf!”
127. Why did the backpacker choose soft tacos for their campfire dinner?… Because they didn’t want to deal with hard shells and a “flaming hot mess” on their hike.
128. Why did the backpacker’s hiking partner keep comparing their journey to a Shakespearean play?… Because they were in “Hiking-peare’s Arden Paradise.”
129. Why did the backpacker choose to hike early in the morning?…Because they wanted to beat the crowds and be an “early bird” on the trail.
130. What do you give a sick bird?… Tweetment.
131. Why did the white bear dissolve in water?… Because it was polar.
132. How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?… TEN-tacles.
133. What’s a snake’s favorite subject?… Hisss-tory.
134. What did the volcano say to its partner?… I lava you so much!
135. Why did the tomato blush?… Because they saw the salad dressing.
136. What do you call a bear with no teeth?… A gummy bear.
137. Why did the scarecrow become a successful hiker?… He was outstanding in his field!
138. How do hikers always stay cool?… They stay in the shade!
139. What do you call a hiker who likes to tell jokes?… A pun-derer!
140. Why are hills always so relaxed?… They take everything in stride!
141. How do you organize a space party?… You planet!
142. Why don’t mountains ever get lost?… They always peak in the right direction!
143. Why do you always see leopards hiking?… Because they’re always spotted!
144. Why did the hiker go to school?… To climb the learning mountain!
145. Why do hikers carry cameras?… To capture all the picturesque moments!
146. Why did the hiker bring a map?… To trail blaze the right path!
147. How do hikers communicate with each other?… They use trail mail!
148. Why are hiking boots always tired?… Because they’ve been running through the woods all day!
149. Why did the hiker bring a pencil on the hike?… In case they needed to draw a conclusion!
150. Why did the hiker sit in the shade?… Because it was tree-mendous!
151. Why did the hiker bring string?… To tie up loose ends!
152. What do you call a hiker who always tells the truth?… A trailblazer!
153. Why did the hiker bring a watch?… To keep track of mountain time!
154. Why do hikers like riddles?… Because they love solving problems on the trail!
155. What do you call a happy hiker?… A jolly wanderer!
156. Why did the hiker bring an umbrella?… For some shade on the sunny trail!
157. How do you catch a squirrel?… Climb a tree and act like a nut!
158. Why did the hiker bring a flashlight?… For a light hike!
159. Why did the hiker bring a magnet?… To find their way back!
160. Why did the tree go to the dentist?… To get a root canal!
161. Why do hikers wear bells?… To scare away the bears!
162. What’s a hiker’s favorite type of footwear?… Trail runners!
163. How do mountains stay warm in the winter?… They wear flannel shirts!
164. Why did the hiker bring a spoon?… To stir up some trail mix!
165. Why did the hiker take a nap?… To get some rest and relaxation!
166. How do you turn a hiker into a fisherman?… Teach them to cast!
167. Why did the hiker bring a fork?… To eat up the trail!
168. How do hikers listen to music?… On their trail-pods!
169. Why did the hiker bring a mirror?… To look at the trail behind them!
170. Why did the hiker bring a sweater?… In case they got a little chilly on the trail!
171. Why did the hiker wear glasses?… To see the trail better!
172. How do you know a hiker is happy?… They have a spring in their step!
173. Why did the hiker bring a broom?… To sweep up the trail!
174. What’s a hiker’s favorite animal?… A trail-blazer!
175. How do hikers know what time it is?… They look at their trail watch!
176. Why did the hiker bring a towel?… In case they got wet on the trail!
177. What do you call a hiker in the desert?… Lost!
178. Why did the hiker bring a pillow?… To rest on the trail!
179. Why did the hiker bring a tent?… For a camp-tastic time!
180. What’s a hiker’s favorite fruit?… Trail mix-ed berries!
181. Why did the hiker bring a comb?… To untangle the trail!
182. What do you call a hiker who loves to read?… A bookworm on the trail!
183. Why did the hiker bring a phone?… To call it a day!
184. Why did the hiker bring a map?… To find their way!
185. What’s a hiker’s favorite vegetable?… A trail of lettuce!
186. Why did the hiker bring a hat?… To keep the sun off their face!
187. Why did the hiker bring a chair?… To sit and enjoy the view!
188. Why did the hiker bring a stick?… To keep balance on the trail!
189. Why did the hiker bring a cup?… To have a sip of the great outdoors!
190. Why did the hiker bring a match?… To light up the trail!
191. What’s a hiker’s favorite sport?… Trail running!
192. Why did the hiker bring a rope?… To tie up loose ends on the trail!
193. What do you call a hiker with no shoes?… Barefoot and brave!
194. Why did the hiker bring a book?… To read between the trails!
195. Why did the hiker bring a knife?… To cut through the trail!
196. What do you call a hiker who loves the night?… A star-gazer!
197. Why did the hiker bring a whistle?… To blow off steam on the trail!
198. Why did the hiker bring a jacket?… To stay warm on the trail!
199. What do you call a hiker who loves to laugh?… A trail-jester!
200. Why did the hiker bring a backpack?… To carry all the puns!
201. Why did the hiker bring a friend?… Because trails are better with company!