Elf Jokes

by | Dec 25, 2025 | Uncategorized

Elf Jokes:

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  1. December Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best elf jokes.
  2. World Geography Jokes: How do elves greet each other?… “Small world, isn’t it?”
  3. Music Jokes: What kind of music does elves like best?… ”Wrap” music!
  4. Nutcracker Jokes: What did the elves call Santa when he accidentally stepped on a bag of cashews?… A nutcracker. 
  5. Lord of the Rings Jokes: My son asked me if the Santa’s elves were the same Elves from Lord of the Rings… I said grow up Son, you’re 42 years old. 
  6. Cookie Jokes: Why did the thief rob the Keebler elves?… Because they had a lot of dough.
  7. Why was Santa’s little helper sad?… He had low elf esteem!
  8. Lord of the Rings Jokes: An Elf, a Dwarf, hobbit, and a Wizard walk into a bar. The bartender says, “What is this, a joke?” 
  9. Lord of the Rings Jokes: Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy… One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire.
  10. Teacher Jokes for December: Why did the elf do so poorly in school?… He had a short attention span.
  12. What kind of music do elves like best?… “Wrap” music!
  13. What’s the first thing elves learn in school?… The “elf”-abet!
  14. What do you call a rich elf?… Welfy.
  15. If there were 11 elves and another one joined them, what would he be?… The twelf.
  16. What do elves play during the summer?… Little League baseball.
  17. What was the elf so quick to anger?… He had a short fuse.
  18. What was the elf’s summer job?… Short order cook.
  19. What are elves good at running?… Small businesses.
  20. Why doesn’t Santa eat junk food?… Because it’s bad for your elf!
  21. Who sings “Blue Christmas” and makes toy guitars?… Elfis!
  22. Why didn’t the elf want to share his toys?… He was too selfish.
  23. What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?… Why, shortbread of course!
  24. Santa rides in a sleigh.  What do elves ride in?… Mini vans!
  25. Why did the elves spell Christmas N-O-E?… Because Santa had said, “No L!”
  26. Why don’t elves read long books?… They like short stories better!
  27. Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?… Because he had the drum sticks!
  28. What did the elf say when he came across another elf while on vacation?… Small world, isn’t it?
  29. What was the elf’s favorite food?… Shrimp.
  30. If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do elves get?… Mistle-toes!
  31. What do elves sing to Santa on cold nights?… Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.
  32. What’s another name for Santa’s helpers?… Subordinate clauses!
  33. What did the elf get when he crossed a bell with a skunk?… Jingle smells.
  34. What did Santa say to the elf who said he made the worst toys?… Don’t be little yourself.
  35. Why are elves such good house guests?… They only stay for a short time.
  36. What kind of money do elves use?… Jingle bills!
  37. What did the elf say was the first step in using a Christmas computer?… “First, YULE LOGon”!
  38. How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? … Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other’s shoulders!
  39. What was the elf’s favorite book?… Stuart Little.
  40. Why do elves like dolls?… They can share the clothes.
  41. Where do you find elves?… Usually right around where you left them.
  42. What did the reindeer say to the elf?… Nothing…reindeer can’t talk!
  43. What does Santa use to bake cakes?… Elf-raising flour.
  44. Why do Santa’s helpers go to therapy?… To help their elf esteem.
  45. What do you call an elf who won’t share? Elfish.
  46. What make of car do elves drive? Toy-otas.
  47. What is Santa Claus’ tax status? Elf employed
  48. What are elves’ favorite types of photos? Elfies.
  49. Where do elves vote? The North Poll.
  50. Who is Santa’s helpers’ favorite character in Stranger Things? Elelfen.
  51. What’s the first thing elves learn in school? The elf-abet.
  52. Why did the elf sleep in the fireplace? Because he wanted to sleep like a log.
  53. How do elves get to the top floor? They take an elf-avator.
  54. How do elves communicate with one another? Through their elf phones.
  55. What do you get if you cross an elf with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
  56. How did the elf take such good photos of themselves? They had an elfie stick.
  57. Why does Santa have to wear a hard hat in his toy factory? Elf and safety!
  58. What do you call an elf who learns independently? Elf-taught.
  59. What do elf fans of Parks and Recreation love to say? “Treat yo’ elf.”
  60. What’s the best way to gain confidence? To believe in your elf.
  61. What is Santa’s helpers’ favorite song? “Have Your Elf a Merry Little Christmas.”
  62. What did Santa tell his helpers when they listened in on his conversation? “Quit elves-dropping.”
  63. What do vegetarian elves eat? Elfalfa.
  64. Who do elf music fans call the King? Elfis.
  65. What do socialist elves support? Redistribution of welf.
  66. What is Santa’s helpers’ favorite convenience store? 7-Elelfen.
  67. What’s an animal that never forgets Christmas? An elfant.
  68. How do elves keep their breath fresh? Orna-mints.
  69. What’s the difference between an ant and an elf? Very little.
  70. What does an elf use to make Christmas pudding? U-tinsel-s.
  71. What do you call a selfish elf? Myself.
  72. How do elves keep their hands so clean? They use lots of Santa-tiser!
  73. What do you call a Santa’s helper with a rags-to-riches story? Cinderelfa.
  74. How did Santa tell his elves to check their email? “First, yule log on…”
  75. What do Santa’s helpers tell someone who annoys them? “Elf off.”
  76. What do elves say when they make mistakes? “I elfed up.”
  77. What does Santa use after trimming his beard? Elftershave.
  78. What is elves’ favorite sport? Miniature golf.
  79. What do you do if you can’t hire a professional? Do it your elf.
  80. What would upset a normal person but not an elf? Coming up short.
  81. What currency do elves use? Jingle bills.
  82. What do elves say when meeting mutual friends? “Small world!”
  83. What do you call a naughty elf that won’t work? A rebel without a Claus!
  84. What do you call an elf in earmuffs? Anything you like because they can’t hear you.
  85. What does Santa put on his face after shaving? Elftashave.
  86. What did Rudolph say to the elf when they went flying? Hold on for deer life.
  87. Where do elves stay when they’re on vacation? At a ho-ho-ho-tel.
  88. What do you call an elf entrepreneur? A small business owner.
  89. What is the elves’ least favorite Christmas song? “Noelf.”
  90. What goes inside elves’ pointy shoes? Their mistletoes.
  91. What’s another name for Santa’s helpers? Subordinate clauses.
  92. What do you call an elf who tells jokes? A real Christmas card.
  93. Where do elves go dancing? Christmas balls.
  94. What do elves use to walk when they hurt their legs? Candy canes.
  95. What do you call an elf who wins the lottery? Welfy.
  96. What do you get when an elf passes gas? Jingle smells.
  97. Where do elves go to get famous? Holly-wood.
  98. Why did the elf cross the road? To get to the north side.
  99. How do elves feel after a long day of work? Elf-hausted.
  100. What’s an elf’s favorite instrument? An elf-ophone.
  101. What does an elf have for breakfast? Frosties!
  102. Why did Santa refuse to buy chips for his helper? Because they’re bad for his elf.
  103. How many elves does it take to change a light bulb? Ten: One to change it and nine to stand on one another’s shoulders.
  104. Which elf is the best jazz singer? Elfa Fitzgerald.
  105. If an elf can’t do something right now, how do they handle it? Shelf it for later.
  106. What is an elf’s favorite lunch? Sandwich wraps.
  107. Why do elves love baseball? Because they’re Little League stars.
  108. What do you call an elf who’s great in the kitchen? A short-order cook.
  109. What do you get when a group of 11 elves adds another? Twelf.
  110. What is an elf’s favorite type of cookie? Shortbread.
  111. Why don’t elves read novels? They prefer short stories.
  112. What do elves sing to Santa Claus when it’s cold? “Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.”
  113. What’s an elf’s favorite dessert? Elf-cream cake.
  114. What do elves use when baking? Elf raising flour.
  115. What’s an elf’s favorite drink? Sprite.
  116. Why did the elf take the day off? He had tinsel-itis!
  117. How did Santa’s helper see the doctor so quickly? He had private elf care.
  118. What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper.What did the elf use to write on the blackboard? Chalk-olate.
  119. What singer do elves like best? Elf-is Presley.
  120. What is green, white and red all over? An elf with a sunburn!
  121. If humans get athlete’s foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toe.