Black Friday Jokes

by | Nov 20, 2025 | Latest News, School Jokes

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.

Google Search “Black Friday Jokes”

  1. November Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Black Friday jokes.
  2. What’s the deal with Black Friday jokes?…
  3. Grinch Jokes: Grinch Pun: Christmas shopping?… It’s all about the “who” in Whoville. 
  4. I wanted to go to some different stores this Black Friday, but once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
  5. Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday… This year I’m going Black Friday shopping. 
  6. Stranger Things Jokes: 2025 Black Friday Special: Stranger Things Season 5 Opening special at the local bakery… 1/2 price on upside down cakes.
  7. If you’re going shopping on Black Friday, please be considerate… By turning your phone horizontal before recording any fights.
  8. Music Jokes: Why didn’t Handel go shopping on Black Friday?… Because he was baroque. 
  9. My Black Friday budget is $1,000… It’s going to be grand!
  10. I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall several times and then ordering online.
  11. On Black Friday, where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall. 
  12. When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… On Black Friday, when it’s on sail. 
  13. I just bought two kayaks for the price of one… Canoe believe it? What a Black Friday deal!
  14.  Dog Jokes: What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Dog and get 1 Flea!
  15. Dog Jokes: What do you call it when a stressed dog goes shopping?… Re-tail therapy.
  16. I heard camouflage pants were on sale for Black Friday… but I’m not seeing any.
  17. It’s Black Friday and the mall is packed with shoppers. John has lost sight of his wife and can’t find her. He goes up to a very attractive woman and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?” The attractive woman replies “Why?” John says, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife shows up out of thin air.”
  18. Why does Humpty Dumpty not participate in Black Friday?… He’s broke. 
  19. I was going to go to the Lego store on Black Friday… but there were people lined up for blocks.
  20. What did the lumberjack do on Black Friday?… He went on a chopping spree.
  21. When does Black Friday come before Thanksgiving?… In the dictionary.
  22. I heard memory foam pillows were on sale for Black Friday… but I can’t remember where.
  23. I finally bought a Roomba on Black Friday… It sucks!
  24. All this spending on Black Friday… Better make sure ya’ll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too!
  25. Where do Sith Lords go shopping on Black Friday?… At the Darth Mall.
  26. What did Shakespeare say when Black Friday was over?… “Now is the winter of our discount.” 
  27. I went to a fireworks store yesterday looking for a Black Friday deal… I was blown away. 
  28. Why don’t grapes go on sale for Black Friday?… They keep raisin’ the prices.
  29. I wanted to buy some sausages on Black Friday… but the link’s broken.
  30. Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal: Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE! 
  31. Friday the 13th Jokes: What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed!
  32. They’re having a great sale in person at the mall for Black Friday Everything is buy one, get achoo free
  33. I headed out before dawn today and braved some insane crowds, to snag some Black Friday deals. The only thing I think I scored was a case of COVID-19.
  34. Black Friday Pun: The Black Friday sale on new glasses is out of sight.
  35. What’s the deal with Black Friday?
  36. Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2 Save up to $2160 by not buying it
  37. Another Black Friday clothes sale?… I’ll never get overall the savings!
  38. Why was there a line to get into the geology museum store on Black Friday?… Everything was on shale.
  39. Black Friday: The day I can finally jump on the Christmas Bandwagon with the rest of the nuts who started on Halloween. 
  40. Black Friday Pun: Without deals Black Friday would be… Lack Friday.
  41. Navy Jokes: Old Neigh-vy… the unofficial Black Friday store of the Navy.
  42. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?… One ring to rule the mall! 
  43. Minions do most of their shopping on Gru-pon. 
  44. Black Friday Pun: Plumbers always have to work on Crack Friday.
  45. How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?… Don’t worry they’ll let you know. 
  46. My wife didn’t want to take me Black Friday shopping because she says I’m cheap… But I’m not buying it.
  47. So you can make it early to Black Friday but can’t make it to church on Sunday? 
  48. What song by the Who is the unofficial song of Black Friday… Bargain.
  49. Bastille Day Jokes: What is the Guillotine?… A French chopping center.
  50. I should give up shopping on Black Friday… but I’m no quitter.
  51. Men go shopping to buy what they want… Women go shopping to find out what they want. 
  52. I’ve saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday… I stayed in. 
  53. I only shop on Black Friday—it’s the one time my wallet gets exercise.
  54. I bought a blender and now I’m in a mixed relationship.
  55. I tried to buy one, got one free, and still don’t know what I bought.
  56. I went in for socks, came out with a kayak.
  57. My shopping cart has commitment issues—it keeps abandoning me.
  58. I asked the store assistant if the deal was too good to be true. They nodded. My credit card screamed when I tapped it.
  59. I bought so much online, even the delivery guy waves now.
  60. I waited in line for an hour… then realised it was the bathroom.
  61. The store had “Buy Now, Cry Later” signs everywhere.
  62. I shop with precision. I precisely have no idea what I’m doing.
  63. I told myself no more gadgets. So I bought two to balance it out.
  64. My online cart has better taste than I do.
  65. I used retail therapy. Still waiting for the emotional refund.
  66. I wore camouflage to the store. No one saw me take the last air fryer.
  67. I opened my wallet. It said, “Again?”
  68. They asked for my email at checkout. I gave them my spam one—justice for my inbox
  69. Black Friday is a scam… You should be mad they overcharge you 364 days a year. 
  70. Did you know bread is on sale for Black Friday?… It doesn’t cost too much dough.
  71. Veterans Day Jokes: What’s the slogan of a clothing store that only sells to veterans?… No service, no shirt, no shoes
  72. I actually enjoy Black Friday… It’s the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them. 
  73. Did you hear about the huge sale REI just had on canoes?… It was quite the oar deal. 
  74. What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?… A Macintosh.
  75. Black Friday Pun: The Black Friday deals on astronaut gear are out of this world.
  76. On Black Friday, I got the new iPhone for my teenager… I thought it was a pretty good trade.
  77. Why did the shopper bring a ladder to the Black Friday sale?… Deals were through the roof.
  78. Saturday Jokes: What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday.
  79. Who profits the most on Black Friday?… The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
  80. I handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving Black Friday deals too… 50% off. 
  81. Why does Han Solo from Star Wars go shopping on Black Friday?… The prices are Solo.
  82. Black Friday Family Tips: “Now remember what I taught you! Push, shove, grab, yell, and if needed tackle! Get out there and make Grandma proud!” 
  83. What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?… A sweet deal. 
  84. Saturday Jokes: What do you call the day after Black Friday?… Broke Saturday.
  85. Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?… They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
  86. What did Nala tell Simba subsequent to seeing a crowd of ladies on Black Friday?… You gotta Mufasa (move faster)
  87. On Black Friday, I got the new iPhone for my husband… I thought it was a pretty good trade.
  88. Why was there a line at the hair saloon on Black Friday?… The were having a blowout sale.
  89. What time do you have to wake up for sweet potato Black Friday deals?… 3 a-yam.
  90. A co-worker was going to the Christmas office party but needed a new dress. In the store on Black Friday, she asked, ‘May I try on that dress in the window, please?’ ‘Certainly not, madam,’ responded the salesgirl, ‘You’ll have to use the fitting room like everyone else.’
  91. Just after Thanksgiving, the judge was in a happy mood. He asked the defendant, ’‘What are you charged with?’ The prisoner replied, ‘Doing my Christmas shopping too early. ‘That’s no crime’, said the judge. ‘Just how early were you doing this shopping?’ ‘Before the shop opened’, answered the prisoner.
  92. Did you hear about the Black Friday joke that was 50% off?…
  93. Why are all USB storage devices on sale today?… It’s a flash sale.
  94. I had to work the day after Thanksgiving… It was Slack Friday all day long.
  95. The cheese store had a huge Black Friday sale… I went on a shopping brie.
  96. What do you call Hunger Games in America?… Black Friday. 
  97. Black Friday: Because only in America people trample others for sales exactly one day after being thankful for what they already have. 
  98. What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed!
  99. What do people eat on Black Friday?… Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday.
  100. A small business owner was upset when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read “BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!” He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side of him and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES!” The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read “MAIN ENTRANCE.”
  101. I went to McDonalds and Wendy’s and Burger King and all the fries were burnt!… Then I realized it’s Black Fryday. 
  102. What did the fridge say when it was asked on Black Friday, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, it’s the day after the Thanksgiving, everything is all leftover here!” 
  103. In Russia, people don’t shop on Black Friday… They wait for Siberia Monday.
  104. What’s it called when your boss fires you the day after Thanksgiving?… Sack Friday.
  105. How do you save 100% off everything on Black Friday?… Stay at home.
  106. Where do fugitives shop on Black Friday?… At the flee market.
  107. It’s only a matter of time before the security camera at Walmart on Black Friday becomes a hit TV reality show.
  108. A dog goes into a camping store & buys a tent on Black Friday. The cashier says, “You don’t see a dog in here buying a tent very often.” The dog says, “At these prices, I’m not surprised.” 
  109. Wouldn’t it be nice if retail therapy was covered by health insurance? 
  110. Does Metamucil ever go on sale for Black Friday?… No, you have to wait for Fiber Monday.
  111. I’m going to spend a thousand dollars for a computer on Black Friday… It’s going to be grand. 
  112. When’s the best time to shop for a new robot?… Cyborg Monday.
  113. Why do cops love going to Black Friday early?… So they can beat the crowd.
  114. I actually like Black Friday. It’s the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them.
  115. I’ve got the deal already worked out – this BlackFriday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife. I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade. 
  116. On Black Friday, I got the new iPhone for my wife… I thought it was a pretty good trade.
  117. I got the last pair of jeans on Black Friday… It was Lucky.
  118. I got so many bruises from shopping on Black Friday, I’m gonna start calling it Black and Blue Friday.
  119. How do you know Arnold Schwarzenegger is waiting in line with you on Black Friday? He Jingles All The Way.
  120. What kind of bird likes to go shopping?… A Pottery Barn Owl.
  121. The casket store is having a killer Black Friday deal this year.
  122. I saved a sheet-load on new bedding this Black Friday.
  123. Black Friday leads to broke Saturday.
  124. What do you call a canoe that’s 50% off?… A sale boat.  
  125. Black Friday Pun: The chiropractor was having a deal on Back Friday.
  126. Black Friday Pun: The knife store slashed prices for Black Friday.
  127. Black Friday Pun: Ducks go shopping on Quack Friday.
  128. Black Friday Pun: Frogs love to shop on Black Fly-day.
  129. Black Friday Pun: Potatoes hate Black Fry-day.
  130. Black Friday Pun: Joggers go running on Track Friday.
  131. When is the best time to buy clothing?… Mardi Gras… All shirts are half off. 
  132. Black Friday Pun: I went shopping for a new ox on Yak Friday.
  133. Black Friday Pun: I bought a new backpack on Sack Friday.
  134. What do you call someone who gets trampled to death at a Black Friday sale?… A Walmartyr.
  135. Black Friday Pun: I never travel on Black Fly-day.
  136. What do you get if you cross a mole with a retail destination?… A shopping mole. 
  137. Black Friday Pun: The pickle store is having a huge Black Friday dill.
  138. I couldn’t decide which mattress to buy… I had to sleep on it.
  139. Where do poltergeists shop for food?… At the ghost-ery store.
  140. I wanted to try on the outfit in the window, but the clerk said I have to use the fitting room like everyone else.
  141. Dog Jokes: How do dogs pay for their shopping?… They scan the bark codes.
  142. I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store. I told him, “You’re not going to find what you’re looking for.”
  143. They say you shouldn’t grocery shop while hungry. It’s been a week and I just keep getting hungrier.
  147. What does a penguin do when it loses its tail?… It goes to a re-tail store.
  148. What happens after you eat an entire gallon of “All Natural” ice cream?… You get Breyer’s remorse! 
  149. On Black Friday, just be decent and civilized… by holding the cell phone horizontal when recording any fights. 
  150. What flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment slips!
  151. Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?… The one who earns the least.
  152. op was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year… It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.
  153. Hey! What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the1 3th?… Prices get slashed! 
  154. Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great! There were so many great shales! It really rocked.
  155. Why did Santa bring 22 reindeer to #Walmart?… Because what he wanted to buy cost around 20 bucks, but just in case it was more, he brought some extra doe. 
  156. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday”?… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers.
  157. Black Friday: A day Americans are willing to kill over materialistic things just a day after celebrating what they’re already thankful for. 
  158. Bought a new Dyson vacuum on Black Friday… It sucks!  #BlackFriday 
  159. The day after the Thanksgiving, what did the fridge say when it was asked, “Is everything alright over here?” “No, everything is all leftover here!”  #Thanksgiving #BlackFriday
  160. #Thanksgiving Motto:”Leftovers are for quitters!”  #Thanksgiving2020 #BlackFriday
  161. Hey @mallofamerica! Where did Mrs. Avogadro do her #BlackFriday shopping?… In a #shopping mole!  #MoleDay #Chemistry
  162. I was too lazy to go out shopping today, so to make it feel like #BlackFriday, I punched a few family members while online #shopping.  #moms #dads #brothers #sisters
  163. Here’s hoping Black Friday won’t turn into Black and Blue Saturday.
  164. Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal: Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!
  165. On #BlackFriday, where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall.  
  166. I handed in an assignment late today, looks like my teacher is giving Black Friday deals too… 50% off.
  167. What would Gandalf have said if The Lord of the Rings played in a supermarket instead of Middle-Earth?… One ring to rule the mall.
  168. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Black Friday?
  169. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Black Friday knock-knock joke?
  170. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Black Friday knock knock jokes?
  171. Why do people buy clothes on Black Friday?… To replace all the ones they stained eating Thanksgiving dinner.
  172. What animal flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment vultures.
  173. Did y’all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday? They’re calling it a self-checkout.
  174. How is the Battle for Hogwarts like a Black Friday sale? Weasley twins are 50% off.
  175. Fidel Castro just passed away… …I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him.