Black Friday Jokes

Black Friday Jokes:

1. Music Jokes: Why didn’t Handel go shopping?… Because he was baroque. 
2. Bastille Day Jokes: What is the Guillotine?… A French chopping center.
3. Veterans Day Jokes: What’s the slogan of a clothing store that only sells to veterans?… No service, no shirt, no shoes. 
4. What do Black Friday shoppers and the Thanksgiving turkey have in common?… They know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed!
5. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What does Gandalf say when he wants to go shopping?… One ring to rule the mall! 
6. How do dogs pay for their shopping?… They scan the bark codes.
7. What do you call it when a stressed dog goes shopping?… Re-tail therapy.
8. Dog Jokes: What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea!
9. Old Neigh-vy… the unofficial story of the Navy.
10. What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?… Prices get slashed!
11. Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday”?… It matches the mood of all those unhappy shoppers.
12. What’s the best part about Black Friday?… Resting on Saturday.
13. Who profits the most on Black Friday?… The one who was smart enough not to go shopping on that day.
14. When does Black Friday come before Thanksgiving?… In the dictionary.
15. What do you call the day after Black Friday?… Broke Saturday.
16. Why don’t grapes go on sale for Black Friday?… They keep raisin’ the prices.
17. My Black Friday budget is $1,000… It’s going to be grand!
18. I should give up shopping on Black Friday… but I’m no quitter.
19. I finally bought a Roomba on Black Friday… It sucks!
20. Did you know bread is on sale for Black Friday?… It doesn’t cost much dough.
21. I wanted to go to some different stores, but once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.
22. I heard camouflage pants were on sale for Black Friday… but I’m not seeing any.
23. I heard memory foam pillows were on sale for Black Friday… but I can’t remember where.
24. I wanted to buy some sausages on Black Friday… but the link’s broken.
25. What was the horse looking for on Black Friday?… A Macintosh.
26. What flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment slips!
27. Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?… The one who earns the least.
28. Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?… They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
29. 
    
    What did Nala tell Simba subsequent to seeing a crowd of ladies on Black Friday?… You gotta Mufasa (move faster)
    
    
30. What animal flies faster than items off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card payment vultures.
31. 
    
    Why do shoppers feel like cranberry juice on Black Friday?… They get bruised and battered bloody by other people until they get squeezed at the cashier.
    
    
32. 
    
    What do people eat o Black Friday?… Whatever they couldn’t finish on Thanksgiving Thursday.
    
    
33. 
    
    What flies quicker than things off the rack on Black Friday?… Credit card installment slips!