Vampire Jokes

Vampire Jokes:

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1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best vampire jokes.
2. Homecoming Jokes: What happens when two vampires meet at the homecoming school dance?… It was love at first bite!
3. Why did the count take some medicine?… Because he was coffin too much!
4. Sesame Street Jokes: There’s only one vampire on Sesame Street… At least, only one that counts.
5. Sesame Street Jokes: Who is your favorite Sesame Street character?… I like the Vampire, but some say he doesn’t count.
6. Sesame Street Jokes: Who is your favorite sesame street character?… I like the Vampire. Does he count?
7. Sesame Street Jokes: I was recently asked who my favorite vampire was. I said, “the muppet from Sesame Street.” They told me, “He doesn’t count!” I replied, “I assure you, he does.”
8. Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck! 
9. Vampire Jokes: What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing).
10. Vampire Jokes: When do vampires like horse racing?… When it’s neck and neck!
11. Vampire Jokes: How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
12. Vampire Jokes: Where does a vampire keep his money?… In a blood bank. 
13. Thanksgiving Jokes: Which November Holiday is Dracula’s favorite?… Fangs-giving.
14. Vampire Jokes: What kind of dog does a vampire have?… A bloodhound.
15. Vampire Jokes: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?… Frostbite.
16. Vampire Jokes: Who did Dracula bring to the prom?… His ghoul friend.
17. Vampire Jokes: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?…A nectarine. 
18. Vampire Jokes: What kind of mail does a celebrity vampire get?… Fang mail!
19. Vampire Jokes: What kind of boat do werewolves and vampires like?… blood vessels. 
20. Vampire Jokes: Why did the vampire give up acting?…Because he couldn’t find a part he could sink his teeth into.
21. Vampire Jokes: What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?… A flying Band-Aid.
22. Vampire Jokes: What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?…A cab.
23. What song do vampires hate?…”You are my sunshine!”
24. Vampire Jokes: What do vampires never order at a cafe?…A STAKE sandwich!
25. Vampire Jokes: What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?…Auld Fang Syne!
26. Vampire Jokes: Frankenstein and Dracula had a tennis match. Who won?…Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks! (sorry PG 13)
27. Vampire Jokes: Why can’t Dracula play baseball?…He lost his bat.
28. Vampire Jokes: Knock knock…Who’s there?…Ivana…Ivana who?…Ivana suck your blood.
29. Witch Jokes: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?… Scarespray!
30. Vampire Jokes: What do vampires take when they are sick?… Coffin drops! 
31. Vampire Jokes: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?… Count Quackula!
32. Vampire Jokes: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?… At the casketeria.
33. Vampire Jokes: Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?… He heard it had great circulation. 
34. Vampire Jokes: What happens when two vampires meet?… It was love at first bite!
35. Vampire Jokes: Which building does Dracula visit in New York?… The Vampire State Building. 
36. Vampire Jokes: How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?… All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. (Top Donut Day Jokes)
37. Vampire Jokes: What songs does Dracula hate?…”You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.” 
38. Vampire Jokes: How does a girl vampire flirt?… She bats her eyes.
39. Vampire Jokes: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?… He had a fang-ache.
40. Vampire Jokes: Why are vampires like false teeth?… They all come out at night. 
41. Ghost Jokes: What kind of gum do ghosts chew?… Boo Boo Gum. 
42. Vampire Jokes: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?… To stop his coffin.
43. Vampire Jokes: What type of dog does every vampire have?… Bloodhound!
44. Vampire Jokes: Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?… a coffin.
45. Vampire Jokes: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?…  Because he had bat breath.
46. Vampire Jokes: What’s a Vampire’s least favorite song?… Another one bites the dust!
47. Vampire Jokes: What did Dracula have for dessert?… Whine & Ice scream
48. Vampire Jokes: What is Dracula’s favorite restaurant?… Murder King.
49. Vampire Jokes: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?… He always goes for the juggler! 
50. Vampire Jokes: A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
51. Vampire Jokes: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?… The Fang-Dango.
52. Vampire Jokes: Why are vampires so easy to fool?… Why?… Because they’re suckers.
53. Vampire Jokes: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?… Count Spatula.
54. Vampire Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?… Lots of blood tests!