Octopus Jokes

by | Jan 17, 2026 | Uncategorized

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  1. October Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best octopus jokes.
  2. What do you call 2 octopuses that look exactly the same?… Itenticle. 
  3. Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand] Cat: you’re one short pal.
  4. Columbus Day Jokes: How did the octopus make Christopher Columbus laugh?…With ten-tickles.
  5. What is an octopus’s favorite Harry Potter game?… Squidditch. 
  6. Did you know that sea turtles can also squirt ink?… Just Squidding! 
  7. Why didn’t the shark want to fight the #octopus?… Because he knew he was well-armed!
  8. How does a pirate make an #octopus laugh?… Ten tickles. 
  9. What do you get when you cross a #farm laborer with an #octopus?… The best darn apple picker you’ve ever seen. 
  10. What’s an octopus’ favorite party?… Oktoperfest.
  11. I went into a #restaurant and I ordered #octopus.The waiter said: “It takes four hours.”I asked why? He said: “It keeps turning off the gas!” 
  12. Who held the baby octopus for a ransom?…  Squidnappers. 
  13. What is an #octopus’s favorite #band?… #Ink Floyd!  
  14. What do #humans and #octopuses have in common?… Two sets of forearms. 
  15. What do you call 8 x 3.14?… Octopi 
  16. Did you hear about the guy who got a #tattoo of an #octopus?… He got inked up.  y
  17. What is the octopus’s favorite shape?… An octagon. 
  18. What is the octopus’s favorite sport?… #UFC. The love the octagon.
  19. An #octopus #politician offered to pay my debts if I voted for him…. I guess it’s squid pro quo.  
  20. Who was the most infamous pirate #octopus?… Captain Squid. 
  21. What did the squid sheriff put together to find the outlaw cowboy?… An octoposse. 
  22. What’s an octopus’s favorite number?… 3.14, octo-pi! 
  23. Where does an #octopus #sleep?… On the seabed! 
  24. How do young #fish get to school?… By octobus. 
  25. What did the #octopus say to his girlfriend at the #Beatles #concert?… I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand… 
  26. Why did the #octopus beat the shark in a fight?… Because the #octopus
  27. Why did the #octopus beat the shark in a fight?… Because the #octopus was well armed! 
  28. What would be good about crossing a #turkey with an #octopus?… Everyone would get a drumstick on #Thanksgiving. 
  29. What do #sharks eat for #dessert?… Octo-pie. 
  30. What sort of fish operates on sick octopuses?… A sturgeon.
  31. An octopus went off to war… It’s a good thing that he was well-armed. 
  32. What did the Giant #Octopus under the #Tacoma Narrows Bridge eat for #lunch?… Fish and ships. 
  33. What do #octopus #knights wear?… A coat of arms. 
  34. People sometimes confuse the plural of #octopus, it’s one octopus, two octopuses, 3.14 octopi. 
  35. How do you know if an octopus is alive?… You check its octo-pulse!  
  36. What do you call a relaxed #octopus?… A calm-ari!  #
  37. What do you call an #octopus #musician?… A rocktopus! 
  38. A recruiter asks an #octopus if he wants to join the #Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m army enough as it is. 
  39. What do you call the crew that follows around the top octopus rapper Sir Squid?… His octoposse.
  40. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?… Ten tickles.    
  41. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about an #Octopus? 
  42. How did the octopuses win the #football game?.. Ten tackles. 
  43. Why did the octopus cross the road? To get to the other TIDE!!! 
  44. Where do female sea creatures keep their money?… In their octopurse. 
  45. Why everyone at the #school is afraid of the octopus?… He is armed! 
  46. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Octopus knock-knock joke?
  47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Octopus knock knock jokes?
  48. Why did the #octopus blush?… He saw the bottom of the ocean.  #WorldOctopusDay #oceans
  49. How do you make an octopus laugh? You give it ten-tickles. 
  50. What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting? Octopied.
  51. What do you call a flying octopus? An octocopter
  52. How did the octopus go to the war? Well armed. 
  53. What is a gathering of octopus called? Octoposse. 
  54. I had to take my pet octopus to the vet yesterday. Oh, don’t worry, he’s okay now. But the vet charged me six quid. 
  55. What do you call a cool octopus? Tenta-cool (tentacle) 
  56. What sea creatures say hello sixteen times?… Two octopuses shaking hands. 
  57. What did the nurse check on his #octopus patient … His octopulse.  #OctopusDay #WorldOctopusDay #nursing #nurses
  58. What story do octopus parents read to their kids?… Octopuss in boots 
  59. What do you get when you cross an octopus with a cow?… An animal that milks itself. 
  60. What has 72 arms and catches flies?… An octopus baseball team.
  61. What has eight legs and turns into a truck?…  Octopus Prime
  62. How do you know the bathroom is in use when your are at an octopus party?…  The sign on the door says “Octopied.”
  63. How do we know that octopuses can’t commit crimes?… They don’t have a bad bone in their bodies. (octopus have no bones) 
  64. What was the octopuses favorite cartoon?… Octonauts. 
  65. What do you call good characteristics of an octopus?…  It’s octo-pluses. 
  66. What did the octopus say to it’s sweetheart?… You octopi my heart.
  67. What did the octopus use to make jelly? …  From ocean currants. 
  68. What is a play on words among sea creatures?… Octopuns. 
  69. What looks like half an octopus? … The other half?
  70. When are all octopuses born?… October!
  71. What do you call a job for an octopus?… It’s octopation 
  72. What do you call an octopus with 2 arms?… A Platypus
  73. What do you call an octopus who thinks the glass if always half full?…  An octomist.
  74. Hey @thebeatles @PaulMcCartney @beatlesstory! What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?… Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? #WorldOctopusDay  
  75. Pi Day Jokes: What do you call an octopus which is missing 4 and 6/7 legs?… An octo-pi.
  76. What do you call 8 x 3.14?… Octopi. 
  77. Basketball Jokes for October: Why does an octopus perform poorly on a basketball court?… It’s always getting tentacle fouls.
  78. Shark Jokes: Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?… Because he knew he was well-armed! 
  79. Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?… Because the octopus was well armed! 
  80. How do you know if an octopus is alive?… You check its octo-pulse! 
  81. Why do sailors never play poker with squids?… They’re too good at hands.
  82. What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?… Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving