101 Softball Jokes

by | May 17, 2026 | Dads, Latest News, Moms | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best softball jokes in the world!
  2. Music Jokes: What Seals & Crofts song is written about a softball player?… Diamond Girl.
  3. Brownie Jokes: How is a softball team like a brownie?… They both depend on a good batter!
  4. Ides of March Jokes: Who officiated a softball game between Julius Caesar and Mark Anthony?… The Roman Umpire!
  5. Is There Softball In Heaven? Two old women had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90′s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. Her friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying woman’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s softball in heaven.” The dying woman said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then she dies. A couple days later, her surviving friend is sleeping when she hears her friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s softball in heaven.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching on Wednesday.”
  6. You are locked inside a car with nothing but a softball bat. How do you get out?… Unlock the door, of course!
  7. There once was a softball pitcher so bad, the crowd started singing Take Her Out of The Ball Game!
  8. Why don’t softball players join unions?… Because they don’t like to be called out on strikes.
  9. In a softball game, which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle.
  10. Did you hear the joke about the softball?… It will leave you in stitches!
  11. Did you hear the joke about the softbal pop fly?…   Never mind! It’s way over your head.
  12. Music Jokes: Why did the chorus hire the softball player?… Because she had perfect pitch.
  13. Do you know what cupcakes & a softball team have in common?… They both count on the batter!
  14. Music Jokes: Why did the chorus hire the softball player?… Because she had perfect pitch.
  15. Music Jokes: What Sam Cooke song is dedicated to a 3rd base softball coach?… You Send Me. 
  16. What would you get if you crossed a softball pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
  17. If brownie mix is on first base, pudding on second, and cookie dough on third base, who is hitting at the plate?… The cake batter.
  18. Softball Jokes: A softball scout found a remarkable prospect–a horse who was a pretty good fielder and who hit the ball every time she was up at bat. The scout got her a try-out with a big league team. Up at bat, the horse slammed the ball into far left field and stood at the plate, watching it go. “Run!” the manager screamed, “Run!” “Are you kidding?” answered the horse. “If I could run, I’d be in the Kentucky Derby.”
  19. Lawyer Jokes: What is the difference between softball and law?… In baseball, if you’re caught stealing, you’re out.
  20. What do softball players use to bake a cake?… Oven MITTS, BUNT pans and BATTER.
  21. Why do girls like softball?… It’s the only sport played on a diamond!
  22. What did the softball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!”
  23. Why did the softball player shut down his website?… She wasn’t getting any hits!
  24. Where did the softball player wash her socks?… In the bleachers.
  25. Have you ever seen a line drive?… No but I have seen a softball park!
  26. Why are some softball umpires fat?… They always clean their plate!
  27. The softball pitcher really had good control today… Didn’t miss a bat for three innings!
  28. Why are spiders good softball players?… Because they know how to catch flies!
  29. Why are softball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day!
  30. Why did the police officer go to the softballl game?… Someone stole second base!
  31. Softball Jokes:
  32. Why did the softball batter go crazy?… The pitcher kept throwing screwballs.
  33. What is a softball player’s favorite thing about going to the playground?… The swings!
  34. What has 18 legs and catches flies?… A softball team!
  35. Riddle: A woman leaves home, makes a left turn, makes another left, then another left turn and goes home again. When she gets home there are two women wearing masks waiting for her. Who are they?… The catcher and the umpire.
  36. One softball hit struck a chicken… Now that was a real “fowl ball!”
  37. How can you pitch a winning softball game without throwing a ball?… Only throw strikes.
  38. What do softball players eat on?… Home plates.
  39. What goes all the way around a softball field but never moves?… The fence!
  40. Where do coal diggers play softball?… In the miner (minor) leagues.
  41. Did you hear the joke about the fast softball pitch?…  Forget it. You just missed it.
  42. A rookie softball pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” she told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”
  43. Which superhero is the best at softball?… Batwoman.
  44. Where does a softball catcher sit for dinner?… Behind the plate.
  45. Why are softball players so rich?… Because they play on diamonds!
  46. Which superhero is the best at softball?… Batgirl.
  47. Camping Jokes: Why do you need to take a softball player with you when you go camping?… To pitch the tent.
  48. What is the best advice to give a young softball player?… If you don’t succeed at first, try second base.
  49. What cartoon character is the best at softball?… Homer Simpson.
  50. How do softball players keep in touch?….They touch base every once in a while.
  51. Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?
  52. Why are frogs good outfielders?… They never miss a fly.
  53. Where is the first softball game in the Bible?… In the big inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second.
  54. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Uriah…Uriah who?… Keep Uriah on the softball.
  55. Why was Cinderella so bad at softball?… She had a pumpkin for a coach.
  56. A book never written: “How to Be a Better Softball Player” by Ben Schwarmer.
  57. Why are singers good at softball?… Because they have perfect pitch!
  58. What famous Greek might have invented softball?… Homer.
  59. Do you know what cupcakes & a softball team have in common?… They both count on the batter!
  60. What do you get when you cross a softball player with a monster?… a double header! 
  61. What are the rules in zebra softball?… Three stripes and you’re out.
  62. Why was Cinderella kicked off the softball team?… She ran away from the ball.
  63. A book never written: “The Quickest Softball Game” by Earl E. Wynn.
  64. Why is a softball park the coolest place to be?… Because it’s full of fans.
  65. How is a softball like a pancake?… They both need a good batter.
  66. Daughter: Mom, what does a softball player do when her eyesight starts going bad? Mom: She gets a job as an umpire. 
  67. Where does a softball player go when she needs a new uniform?… New Jersey.
  68. Why don’t matches play softball?… One strike and your out!
  69. What is the difference between a girl who is late for dinner and asoftball  hit over the fence?… One runs home and the other is a home run.
  70. What do you get when you cross a softball pitcher with a carpet?… A throw rug.
  71. Why does a pitcher raise one leg when she pitches?… If she raised both legs, she would fall down.
  72. What animal is best at hitting a softball?… A bat!
  73. Three old ladies are at their first softball game. The friends are drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels and the bottle is now almost gone. What inning is it, and how many are on base… Bottom of the 5th and the bags are loaded.
  74. If a basketball team were chasing a softball team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  75. Did you hear the joke about your pitching style?…  Never mind. It’s foul.
  76. Why couldn’t the fans get soda pop at the double header?… Because the home team lost the opener.
  77. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Jose… Jose who? Jose can you see be the dawn’s early light.
  78. Why did the softball team hire a cook?… They needed a good batter.
  79. What do you get if you cross a lizard with a softball player?… An outfielder who catches flies with his tongue.
  80. Softball Little League Vampire: Mom, what’s the best way to hold a bat?… Mother Vampire: By the wings.
  81. Why did the Angels have a ghost on their team?…. To add a little team spirit. (101 Halloween Jokes)
  82. Where can you find the largest diamond in the world?… On a  softball field.
  83. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter?… Because the manager knew, once she sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up.
  84. Why did the police arrest the softball player?… She stole 3rd base!
  85. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Phillip… Phillip who?… Let’s phillip the bases.
  86. What happens to softball players who go blind?… They become umpires.
  87. What are the best kind of stockings for softball players to wear?… Stockings with runs in them.
  88. Why is it always cool at a softball game?… Because that is where all the fans are!
  89. Why did the vampire strike out?… He used the wrong softball bat!
  90. How is a softball like a waffle?… They both need a good batter.
  91. Why is hotter after a softball game?… All the fans have left.
  92. When should softball players wear armor?… When they play knight games
  93. When did the softball team tie up the game?… five to five (4:55) or 10 to 10 (9:50)
  94. When is a softball player like a spider?… When she catches flies.
  95. Why is a softball umpire like an angry chicken?… They both have foul mouths!
  96. Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out.
  97. Why was the mummy sent into the game as the closer?… Because the manager knew, once she sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up.
  98. A woman takes a softball and throws it as hard as she can. There is nothing in front, behind, or to either side of her, and yet the ball comes back and hits her square in the face. How can this be?… She threw the ball up.
  99. Two softball teams play a game. The home team ends up winning, but not a single woman from either team has touched a base. How can this be?… The teams were all men.
  100. A woman is trapped in a house without windows, doors, or any other way of exiting. The house is collapsing, and the man has only a softball and a bat. How does she escape the fire?…. She swings at the air three times (‘cause it’s one, two, three strikes and you’re out!).
  101. Why was the piano tuner hired to play softball?… Because he had perfect pitch.