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Google Search “Marine Jokes”
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Marine jokes.
- I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
- Why are sharks so patriotic?… They are marine fish.
- Marines can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it.
- Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Marines?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself!
- My grandfather was a baker in the Marines… He went in all buns glazing.
- Knock, knock?… Who is there?… #August… August Who?… A gusta join the #Marines.
- My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
- Sergeant: “Private! I didn’t see you at camouflage training today!” Private: “Thank you, Sir!”
- What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf.
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Marines?
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how much money I will make if I join the Marines?
- What do you call a Marine cook who’s also a magician?… A soupernatural!
- What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
- Grandparent Jokes: My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
- Why did the Marine refuse to wear a cologne?… It didn’t want to be too fragrant.
- Why did the Marine take up meditation?… To stay centered.
- Why are there no knock knock jokes about the Marines?… Because freedom rings!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Marine knock-knock joke?
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Marine knock knock jokes?
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Marines?
- Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
- Pope Jokes: A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
- Retirement Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Marines?
- What do you call a house with an ice-cream sundae on top?… Beats me… “Desserted!”
- Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting.
- Why did the soldier stuff himself with ice cream? He was a desserter.
- An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the army, but they abandoned their fellow soldiers on their first deployment They are wanted for dessertion.
- Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings!
- Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines.
- I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
- What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
- I became a chef after I left the Marines… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
- Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Marines.
- A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
- What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day.
- What did the Marine say when he saw a bee?… Oorah bee-rah!
- What did the marine sergeant yell out on a really hot day?… Hundred and twenty degrees, and falling!
- What did the marine call the cow he saw in the field?… Private moo.
- What did the marine sergeant say when he saw a hill?… Take the high ground!
- What did the marine say when he ordered a cup of coffee?… Marine-style – black and strong!
- How did the marine sergeant react when his troops moved too slowly?… Semper Fi-ve miles an hour!
- What did the marine say when he saw the car in front of him?… Follow that HMMWV!
- What did the marine say when asked where he was going?… Onward and upward!
- How did the marine ask for extra hot sauce?… Oorah-hot-sauce!
- What did the marine say when he saw a UFO?… Deploy the F-18s!
- Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
- An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, “Sure.” The ensign said, “Sailor, don’t you mean yes, sir? Let’s try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?” The sailor replied, “No, sir!”
- I think I’m failing my marine biology class… My grade is below C level.