Seattle Seahawks Jokes

by | Jan 26, 2026 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Seattle Seahawks jokes.
  2. Super Bowl LX Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Candy… Candy Who?… Candy the Seattle Seahawks repeat at Super Bowl Champions?
  3. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the kicker who holds the record for most field goals in a Super Bowl?… Jason Myers of the Seattle Seahawks holds the record for the most field goals made in a single Super Bowl, kicking five in Super Bowl LX on February 8, 2026, against the New England Patriots.
  4. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the mascot for the Seattle Seahawks?… Blitz and Boom.
  5. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Super Bowl MVPS from the Seattle Seahawks?… Malcolm Smith (2014)
  6. Super Bowl XLIX: With the rematch of the New England Patriots and the Seattle Seahawks, I was thinking about watching Do Your Job Bill Belichick and the Super Bowl XLIX Patriots. I asked my friend from Seattle to watch but… like the Seahawks, he said, I think I will pass.
  7. Who made the play the broke Seattle’s hearts in Super Bowl XLIX… The Butler did it!
  8. Super Bowl XLIX: With the rematch of the New England Patriot and Seattle Seahawks, I was thinking about reliving the final Seahawks offensive play, but… like them I think I will pass.
  9. What’s the difference between Super Bowl quarterback Sam Darnold and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
  10. New England Jokes: Tom Brady originally offered that MVP Chevy Colorado to Pete Carroll… …However, Carroll said “No thanks! I’ll pass.”
  11. Super Bowl LX Jokes: A Seattle first-grade teacher can’t believe her student isn’t hyped up about the Super Bowl. “It’s a huge event. Why aren’t you excited?” “Because I’m not a football fan. My parents love basketball, so I do too,” says the student. “Well, that’s a lousy reason,” says the teacher. “What if your parents were morons? What would you be then?” “Then I’d be a football fan.” (Jokes for Teachers & Basketball Jokes)
  12. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the living mascot for the Seattle Seahawks?… Taima!
  13. Super Bowl LX… Seattle Seahawk Fan: Finally a Super Bowl that matches my shirt size!… Forget that I am dyslexic.
  14. Super Bowl XLIX: Want to know why I always wear my Seahawks Jersey when I take a test?… It’s so I’ll pass, even when I shouldn’t!
  15. Seattle Seahawks Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many times the Seattle Seahawks have won the Super Bowl?… The Seahawks won Super Bowl XLVIII (2014) – 43-8 vs. Denver Broncos .
  16. Seattle Seahawks Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me how many times the Seattle Seahawks have reached the Super Bowl?… 4 – Super Bowl XL (2006): Lost 21–10 to the Pittsburgh Steelers. Super Bowl XLVIII (2014): Won 43–8 against the Denver Broncos. Super Bowl XLIX (2015): Lost 28–24 to the New England Patriots. Super Bowl LX (2026): Appeared in their fourth championship game.
  17. Super Bowl XLIX: What do the Patriots and Measles have in common?… They both got to go to Disneyland, because some idiot decided to pass on something
  18. Super Bowl XLIX: I stopped at a restaurant for dinner. The waitress asked me if I would like a salad, and I said, “I’ll pass, even though I know I shouldn’t.” And she said, “Seahawks fan, huh?”
  19. Super Bowl XLIX: Since I have a lot of exams next week… I decided to buy a Seahawks jersey. That way, I’m sure to pass even if I shouldn’t.
  20. What are the Seahawk’s fans two most hated shows?… The Brady Bunch and Malcolm in the Middle!
  21. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe Super Bowl LX is a rematch of the Super Bowl XLIX (2015) teams? (New England Patriot and Seattle Seahawks).
  22. Super Bowl Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Super Bowl XL jokes.
  23. What’s the difference between Super Bowl quarterback Patrick Mahomes and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
  24. California Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the date of Super Bowl XL?… Super Bowl LX will be played on February 8, 2026.
  25. California Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the location of Super Bowl XL?… Super Bowl LX will be played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California.
  26. Super Bowl LX will be played at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California… are our Super Bowl jokes wearing thin?
  27. Washington Jokes: Divisional Round: Fantasy football…. San Francisco fans thinking they can go into Seattle and win a divisional playoff game.
  28. NFC Championship: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe you name the two teams in the 2026 NFC Championship?… (Los Angeles Rams at the Seattle Seahawks.)
  29. NFC Championship: Fantasy Football LA Rams fans thinking their team could go to Seattle and beat the Seahawks to go on to the Super Bowl.
  30. Super Bowl LIX: Washington Jokes: “Hey, Seattle, wanna win the Super Bowl?” “No, thanks. We’ll pass.”
  31. Super Bowl Knock Knock Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you name the two teams who are playing in Super Bowl LX?… (New England Patriot and Seattle Seahawks).
  32. Why can’t Russell Wilson use the phone anymore?… Because he can’t find the receiver.
  33. What are the Seahawk’s two most hated shows?… The Brady Bunch and Malcolm in the Middle! How are the Seahawks like my neighbors?… They can’t pick up a single yard!
  34. Why is Thomas Rawls like a grizzly bear?… Every fall he goes into hibernation.
  35. How many Seahawks fans does it take to change a light bulb?… None they are happy living in the 49ers shadow!
  36. Have you heard about the Seahawks new running back?… His name Rawls off the tongue.
  37. When Richard Sherman asked Papa John how many toppings he could have Papa John said you can pick six.
  38. What is the difference between Russell Wilson and Tom Brady?… Russell Wilson got schooled.
  39. What do the Seattle Seahawks and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?… Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.
  40. What’s the difference between the Seattle Seahawks and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
  41. What do the Seattle Seahawks and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
  42. What is the difference between a Seahawks fan and a baby?… The baby will stop whining after awhile.
  43. Did you hear about the Seattle Seahawks action figures?… They were recalled for being choking hazards.
  44. How do you keep the Seattle Seahawks out of your yard?… Put up goal posts.
  45. Why are so many Seattle Seahawks players claiming they have the Swine Flu?… So They don’t have to touch the pigskin!
  46. What is a Seattle Seahawks fan’s favorite whine?… “We can’t beat Arizona.”
  47. What do the Seahawks and the Post Office have in common?… Neither deliver on Sundays!
  48. What do the Seahawks and the mailman have in common?… Neither deliver on Sunday night.
  49. What does an Seattle Seahawks fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?… He turns off the PlayStation 5.
  50. What’s the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?… Have him watch a couple Seattle Seahawks games.
  51. What’s the difference between Seattle Seahawks fans and mosquitoes?… Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.
  52. Did you hear that CenturyLink Field had to be resodded?… Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!
  53. According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives… The other 9 percent are Seattle Seahawks fans.
  54. I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store… They put a Seahawks jersey on it and now it sucks again.
  55. Can a Seattle Seahawks player drive a stick?… Only if they remove the clutch.
  56. Why does the Seahawks secondary always get failing grades?… For missing assignments.
  57. I heard they are making a sequel to the “Bad News Bears”, Except its about the Seattle Seahawks and it’s called “The Redzone Rejects.”
  58. My wife was about to put my son in a Seattle Seahawks jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.
  59. Are you scared of catching the flu?… Just hang in the Seahawks end zone, they don’t catch anything there.
  60. I put a Seahawks logo on an airplane and now it can’t touchdown.
  61. A Seahawks fan doesn’t always eat pastries, but when he does it’s usually a turnover.
  62. Why did the Seattle Seahawks fan cross the road…..I was thinking when I accelerated.
  63. Son: What’s a touchdown? Dad: I’m not sure son, we’re Seahawks fans.
  64. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes.
  65. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me when the won their 1st Super Bowl?
  66. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me when the won their last Super Bowl?
  67. What did the. quarterback say after he got sacked by an Indianapolis Colt?… Help – I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up.
  68. Why upsets the coach of the most when he plays the Colts?… Too much horse play on the field.
  69. Why do the draft ballet dancers as their kickers?… They know how to split the uprights!
  70. Gymnastics Jokes: Why do the gymnasts as their kickers?… They know how to split the uprights!
  71. Why did the kicker bring string to the game?… Just in case he needed to tie the score
  72. What runs around Stadium but never moves?… A wall
  73. How do the hire their players?… With two pairs of stilts.
  74. What’s the difference between a running back and a duck?… One goes quick and the other goes quack.
  75. What are successful kickers always trying to do?… Reach goals.
  76. Who did the zombie team play during preseason?… The DEADskins.
  77. How did the quarterback know he was about to get sacked in Chicago?… He heard them BEARING down on him.
  78. What is harder for a receiver to catch the faster he runs?… His breath!
  79. What can players catch at Mile High Stadium?… Bronco-itis
  80. Did you hear about the joke that the quarterback told his receivers?… It went over their heads.
  81. Why can’t quarterback use his phone?… Because he can’t find the receiver.
  82. Where do football players dance?… At a foot ball!
  83. When should football players wear armor?… When they play knight games.
  84. What do you get when you cross the quarterback with a carpet?… A throw rug.
  85. What’s the difference between the and water?… Water runs.
  86. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Hans… Hans who?… Hans to the face is a penalty.
  87. What do New players wear on halloween?… Face Masks!
  88. How do you keep out of your yard?… Put up goal posts.
  89. What do receivers and the Post Office have in common?… Neither is open on Sundays!
  90. What kind of tea do football players drink?… Penaltea
  91. Which player can jump higher than a house?… All of them – houses can’t jump at all.
  92. Why was the tiny ghost asked to join the football team?… They needed a little team spirit.
  93. Why didn’t the dog want to play football for the ?… It was a (Brockton) boxer.
  94. Where is a ghost’s favorite spot on a ?… Under the ghoul posts!
  95. Why did the football quit playing with the ?… It was tired of being kicked around.
  96. Why doesn’t the football team have a website?… They can’t string three W’s together.
  97. What does the quarterback watch on TV to make him feel at home?… The Brady Bunch.
  98. The had to re-sod their field… Even the grass won’t root for them.
  99. What’s the difference between fans and cicadas?… Cicadas are only annoying every few years.
  100. What do fans and horse flies have in common?… They’re both annoying.