Pennsylvania Jokes

by | Jun 4, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about Pennsylvania.
  2. The British didn’t expect the revolution to go viral… they should’ve read the Declaration of Independence’s terms and conditions.
  3. Why did Thomas Jefferson bring a pillow to the Continental Congress?… He wanted to have a soft declaration.
  4. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked.
  5. A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!”
  6. Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?… A duck family, Because it had a qwack in it!
  7. Teacher: True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: False. It was written in ink.
  8. I tried to make a joke about the Liberty Bell… but it cracked up.
  9. How did Thomas Jefferson feel after writing the Declaration of Independence?… Like he’d penned his best work.
  10. What did the Liberty Bell say to the British?… You can’t bell-ieve we’re free.
  11. The Philadelphia 76ers, The New England Revolution, The New England Patriots… The official sports teams of the American Revolution.
  12. Which American colonists told the most riddles?… Puns-ylvanians.
  13. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… It cracked me up! 
  14. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians! 
  15. Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War… For the Confederacy, it all went South from there.  
  16. What did the Liberty Bell say when it rang?… “I’m ringing in the new freedom!” 
  17. What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock!
  18. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.
  19. A book never written: “To Make a Sandwich” by Phil E. Cheese. 
  20. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!” 
  21. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.   
  22. Where did the pencil go for vacation?… To Pennsylvania. 
  23. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in #Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in ink.”  Pennsylvania
  24. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Pennsylvania?… Because Pennsylvania drivers are terrible. 
  25. Which American colonists told the most riddles?… Puns-ylvanians.
  26. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Pennsylvania?
  27. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Pennsylvania knock-knock joke?
  28. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.
  29. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Pennsylvania knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  30. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… Right at the bottom of the page.
  31. Teacher: True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: False. It was written in ink. (Top Teacher Jokes
  32. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween basketball tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  33. Why did the #Eagles win the Super Bowl?… They’re very talonted.
  34. Where does everyone get there pencils from?… Pennsylvania! 
  35. Where do pencils travel to?… APENCILvaneya.
  36. Where did the pencil go for vacation?… To Pennsylvania. 
  37. What is Ronald McDonalds favorite city in Pennsylvania?… Pitts-burger. 
  38. Where do pretzels go on vacation?… Pretzilvania. 
  39. Why do Temple students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  40. Why did Penn State disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  41. Where do fish like go on vacation?… AAl-TUNA, Pennsylvania.
  42. What did [state] see?… Same thing Arkansas.
  43. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. [state river]
  44. Did you hear about the power outage at the [state] University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  45. Why do [state]golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
  46. Why do [state]golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  47. Why do [state] golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  48. Why do [state] love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great [state] is.
  49. Did you hear the joke about [state] Mountains?… You won’t get over it. 
  50. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The [state] Turnpike! 
  51. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state flower of [state]?
  52. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state bird of [state]?
  53. What is the tallest building in [state]?… [state] Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
  54. Why did [state]disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
  55. Where do [state] fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the [state river] River.
  56. Why is “The Wave” banned in [state] Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year.
  57. Tourist: “Have you lived in [state] all your life?” Local: “No, not yet.”
  58. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Local: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
  59. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from [state]?
  60. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from [state]?
  61. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor from [state]?
  62. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the MLB team from [state]?
  63. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NFL team from [state]?
  64. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NHL team from [state]?
  65. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NBA team from [state]?
  66. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Rugby from [state]?
  67. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Roger Williams Zoo?… Lion.
  68. The art teacher in Massachusetts always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
  69. Why do [state] students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
  70. The chemistry teacher in [state] had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
  71. The biology class in [state] was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
  72. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Soccer team from [state]?
  73. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Premier Lacrosse League (PLL) from [state]?
  74. Why do folks in [state] go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… The sign said “17 and under not admitted.”
  75. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 [state] jokes?
  76. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 [state] jokes?
  77. Cheese Jokes: What is Tom Hanks’ favorite soft cheese?… Philadelphia. 
  78. What Great Lake should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Lake Erie.

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