Connecticut Jokes

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• Top 10 Jokes for Each State in the U.S
• U.S. State of the Week
• Top U.S. X Accounts by State
• All State Jokes
• Connecticut Jokes:

Google Search “Connecticut Jokes”

1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Connecticut jokes.
2. New England Jokes: The Patriots aren’t going to the Super Bowl this year… I’m deflated.
3. Can you name the capital of Connecticut? … “C”
4. Geography Jokes: What did Candlewood Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.
5. What is the tallest building in?… Connecticut State Library of course, it has the most stories!
6. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Connecticut Turnpike!
7. Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Connecticut River.
8. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Housatonic River!
9. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Quinebaug River!
10. Geography Jokes: If a plane crashed on the borders of Connecticut and Massachusetts where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (
11. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Connecticut. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Connecticut!
12. Did you hear the joke about Bear Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (10 Epic Connecticut Mountains)
13. Connecticut Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Connecticut Resident: “No, not yet.”
14. Connecticut Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Connecticut Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
15. Where do Connecticut elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey?
16. Where do Connecticut middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey?
17. Where do Connecticut high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey?
18. What did Connecticut see?… the same thing Arkansas.
19. Why did the Connecticut teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water!
20. Why did the Connecticut teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
21. Why did the Connecticut teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water!
22. Why did the Connecticut teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water!
23. Whats the most challenging thing to do in Connecticut?… The New York Times crossword puzzle.
24. Did you hear about the fire in University of Connecticut’s football dorm that destroyed 20 books?… The real tragedy was that 15 hadn’t been colored yet.
25. What does the average Connecticut State University student get on his SAT?… Drool.
26. How do you make University of Connecticut cookies?… Put them in a big Bowl and beat for 3 hours.
27. How many Connecticut State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
28. Why is “The Wave” banned in Rentschler Field?… Two UConn fans drowned last year.
29. Why did the UConn regents decide to cover Rentschler Field in cardboard?… Because the Huskies always look better on paper.
30. Why do Southern Connecticut State students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
31. Why did Central Connecticut State disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
32. What’s the one thing that keeps Huskies basketball players from graduating?… Going Pro.
33. Why did the UConn football team cross the road?… Because it was easier than crossing the goal line.
34. How do you get a Connecticut student to laugh all weekend long?… Tell him a joke Monday morning.
35. Whats the difference between Storrs and yogurt?… Yogurt has an active living culture.
36. Why do the UConn Huskies eat cereal straight from the box?… They choke whenever they get near a bowl.
37. What separates a good team from a great team?… The Connecticut-New York border.
38. Whats the difference between the Connecticut Huskies and cheerios?… One belongs in a bowl. The other doesn’t!
39. Why do UConn students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
40. What do you get when you drive quickly through the Connecticut State University campus?… An undergraduate degree.
41. How did the Connecticut State grad die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him!
42. How do you get a man in Connecticut to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes..
43. What does a Connecticut Huskies fan do when his team has won the BCS championship?… He turns off the PlayStation.
44. What do you call a Connecticut Husky in a BCS bowl game?… A referee.
45. What do Connecticut and NYU students have in common?… They both got in to Connecticut!
46. What’s the difference between an University of Connecticut football player and a dollar?… You can get four quarters out of a dollar.
47. Did you hear that UConn’s football team doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together.
48. How many Connecticut Huskies does it take to change a lightbulb?… None. Lava lamps don’t burn out man!
50. ESPN Rivalry Week: Knock knockout?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the teams in the NESCAC Little Three Rivalry?
51. Knock knockout?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the university both Bill Belichick and Eric Mangini played football?
52. What did [state] see?… Same thing Arkansas.
54. Did you hear about the power outage at the Connecticut College library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
55. Why do Connecticut golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
56. Why do Connecticut golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
57. Why do Connecticut golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
58. Why do love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great Connecticut is.
59. Did you hear the joke about Connecticut Mountains?… You won’t get over it. 
61. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state flower of Connecticut ?
62. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state bird of Connecticut ?
63. What is the tallest building in Connecticut ?… Connecticut Public Library of course, it has the most stories!
64. Why did [state]disband its water polo team?… All the horses drowned.
65. Why is “The Wave” banned in [state] Stadium?… Two fans drowned last year.
66. Tourist: “Have you lived in [state] all your life?” Local: “No, not yet.”
67. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Local: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.”
68. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from [state]?
69. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the U.S. Representatives from [state]?
70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor from [state]?
71. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the MLB team from [state]?
72. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NFL team from [state]?
73. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NHL team from [state]?
74. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NBA team from [state]?
75. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Rugby from [state]?
76. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Roger Williams Zoo?… Lion.
77. The art teacher in Massachusetts always said, “Draw your own conclusions, but don’t color outside the lines!”
78. Why do [state] students excel in science?… Because they always experiment with their learning!
79. The chemistry teacher in [state] had a great reaction to student questions… they always ignited curiosity!
80. The biology class in [state] was so lively… it really had a cell-ebration going on!
81. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Major League Soccer team from [state]?
82. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Premier Lacrosse League (PLL) from [state]?
83. Why do folks in [state] go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… The sign said “17 and under not admitted.”
84. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 [state] jokes?
85. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 [state] jokes?