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  • NASCAR Jokes: Top NASCAR Jokes

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    Top Twitter Accounts for the Boston MarathonTop Massachusetts Jokes
    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes!A GREAT advertising opportunity! 365 Sports Jokes!

    1. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED (Boston Marathon Jokes)
    2. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED (Boston Marathon Jokes)
    3. What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion.
    4. What did the ace car say to the letter R?… Come and join me!

     

  • Boston Marathon Jokes

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    Google Search “Boston Marathon Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Boston Marathon jokes.
    2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you believe in 2026 it will be the 130th Boston Marathon.
    3. 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe Sharon Lokedi broke the Boston Marathon women’s course record by 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
    4. 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe Sharon Lokedi won her 1st Boston Marathon AND broke the course record by 2 minutes and 30 seconds.
    5. 2025 Boston Marathon: Kenya believe the top two women’s runners were from the SAME country?
    6. Do you want to hear a joke about the Boston Marathon?…. Never mind… I’ll never finish it.
    7. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that coincides with the Boston Marathon? (Patriots Day)
    8. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the first wheelchair division champion?
    9. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the only brothers to win the Boston Marathon?
    10. What is the #1 marathon for cardiologists?… The Boston Marathon. They love Heartbreak Hill.
    11. What music is blaring at the most difficult part of the Boston Marathon?… Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at Heartbreak Hill. Stevie Nicks can be heard singing “Stop Dragging My Heart Around.” (Music Jokes)
    12. I don’t win marathons because I’m lucky… I win because I take public transportation, just take like Rosie Ruiz.
    13. What is the worst US city to run a marathon?… Boston. It is the height of pollen season and it is in Mass “Achoo” setts.
    14. Do you know what would be a great theme song for One Boston Day?… ONE by U2. Boston loves U2 and U2 loves Boston.
    15. Warning: Police are on the lookout for an overweight man who did not pay his entrance fee to the Boston Marathon… He is believed to be still on the run.
    16. I’m never again donating a dime to any charity raising funds for finishing the Boston Marathon… They just take the money and run.
    17. What is the #1 #hotel for runners of the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hotel.
    18. Although the world is more accepting, I refuse to accept some races… That Boston Marathon is awful, with Heartbreak Hill and the New England weather.
    19. 2024 Boston Marathon: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you believe the 2024 Boston Marathon Women’s finish?… Hellen Obiri battled until the end to beat Sharon Lokedi.
    20. A Boston Marathon book never written: “The Boston Marathon” by Will E. Makit.
    21. Boston Marathon runners with bad footwear… suffer the agony of defeat.
    22. Where do cardiologists like to watch the Boston Marathon?… Heartbreak Hill.
    23. I watch the Boston Marathon every year with my best friend. This year his girlfriend decided to join us, but she just couldn’t understand why we were laughing…. It was a running joke.
    24. I don’t win marathons because I’m lucky… I win because I’m driven.
    25. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Kenya… Kenya who?… Kenya name the country with great marathon runners that often win the Boston Marathon?
    26. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for 3 hours but only moved 2 feet?… He only had 2 feet!
    27. How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run the Boston Marathon?… They’ll tell you.
    28. What do Boston Marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory.
    29. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon race between the lettuce & the tomato?… The lettuce was a “head” & the tomato was trying to “ketchup”
    30. I was watching the Boston Marathon one year, and I saw two runners in costumes. One of them was dressed as a chicken and the other dressed as an egg. I thought:…”This’ll be interesting.”
    31. If Boston Marathon runners get athlete’s foot what do astronauts get?… Mistletoe?
    32. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED.
    33. Last year I entered a marathon. The race started and immediately I was the last of the runners. It was embarrassing. The guy who was in front of me, second to last, was making fun of me. He said, “Hey buddy, how does it feel to be last?” I replied, “You really want to know?” Then I dropped out of the race.
    34. The Boston Marathon is a great event… but it really gets me running in circles!
    35. What does a runner drink when she is in last place?… Ketchup.
    36. What should you say to someone running in the Boston Marathon from #reland?… Irish you luck.
    37. Why can’t you take a nap during the Boston Marathon race?… Because if you snooze, you loose!
    38. Why couldn’t the dog run in the Boston Marathon?… He wasn’t a part of the human race!
    39. What does the men’s winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… His breath.
    40. What does the women’s winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath.
    41. What does the wheelchair winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath.
    42. How does the Grinch complete the Boston Marathon?… grinch by grinch.
    43. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Bilbo Baggins!
    44. I did a Lord of the Rings marathon yesterday… I ran 26 miles dressed up as Gandalf!
    45. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Frodo Baggins!
    46. What does the woment’s wheelchair winner of the Boston Marathon lose?… Her breath!
    47. I did a Hobbit marathon yesterday…. I ran 26 miles dressed up as Samwise Gamgee!
    48. How do crazy Boston Marathon runners go through the forest?… They take the psycho path.
    49. Who is the fastest runner of all time?… Adam, because he came 1st in the human race!
    50. How do you know you’re a dedicated runner?… When your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
    51. How do you know when you’ve married a running enthusiast?… When you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
    52. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED
    53. What do you call a competitive runner who just broke up with his girlfriend?… Homeless.
    54. What kind of running shoes are made from banana skins?… Slippers.
    55. Did you hear about the Boston Marathon runner who ran for three hours but only moved two feet?… He only had two feet!
    56. What do Boston Marathon runners do when they forget something?… They jog their memory. (Psychology Memory Lessons)
    57. Why did the marathon runner end up in jail?… For resisting a rest.
    58. I kept telling a pun to the passersby during a marathon… It was a running joke.
    59. My friend Ty came in first in the Beijing marathon, but he wasn’t given the gold medal. The Chinese refuse to recognize Ty won.
    60. Is it really that wrong to hate an entire race?… I just find marathons waaaaay too long to enjoy any part of them.
    61. Training for a marathon can be hard work… But it’ll be good for you in the long run.
    62. I’m like a cross between a marathon runner and a sprinter… I can jog short distances.
    63. How do you know if someone runs marathons?… Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
    64. I’m binge-watching this show and they keep doing bits about marathons… Guess it’s some sort of running joke.
    65. Abebe Bikila famously won the 1960 Olympic marathon while running barefoot… Do you think his opponents tasted defeat?
    66. Why did the runner from Boston break up with his girlfriend?… He said she was too “slow” for his fast-paced lifestyle!
    67. Me, to the cop: You can’t arrest me. I have a marathon to run today! Cop: Stop playing the race card!
    68. I guess my nose is training for a marathon… It’s been running since morning..
    69. I’d hate to run a marathon… They just look so hard to organise.
    70. I’m training for a marathon with my friend. Every day when we hit the trails he tells me the same thing, and it always makes me laugh. It’s a running joke.
    71. We’re always making fun of our friend who threw up during a marathon… It’s a running gag.
    72. Seriously, do not mess with a marathoner… They run the streets.
    73. Is this a bad time to say that I really like certain races and absolutely hate others?… The hundred metres dash is my favorite. The marathon is awful.
    74. I didn’t run a marathon in 2018…. I didn’t run a marathon in 2019… I didn’t run a marathon in 2020. I’ve never run a marathon in my life. This is a running joke.
    75. Why didn’t the programmer win a marathon?… He had a runtime error.
    76. “I’m thinking of running a marathon again.” I told my friend. “You’ve run a marathon before?” she asked, with an air of admiration. I said, “No, but I’ve thought about it.”
    77. What is a marathon runner doing when he starts a marathon in Russia that ends in Finland?… Russian to Finnish.
    78. So there was a marathon in Sweden that went all the way to the Еastern border. I guess you could say the race ended at the Finnish line.
    79. When is the best time to run a marathon?.. During Lent. That’s when you fast.
    80. Why did the marathon runner sprint at the start of the race?… His pacemaker was malfunctioning.
    81. What did the Jamaican say after winning the barefoot marathon?… “Da trill of victory always betta dan de agony of de feet!”
    82. I was thinking of running a marathon. But I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.
    83. Did you hear about the man that won the marathon?… He was Russian.
    84. I met a guy from the Middle East after a marathon. I asked him if he walked it. No, he said… Iran.
    85. Wish me luck in the Boston Marathon today. I managed a respectable 3 hours, 12 minutes, last year… This year, I will try to beat that but I usually get bored and end up turning over to watch something else…
    86. I have started eating McDonalds after deciding to run the Boston Marathon… I need some fast food.
    87. I treat everyday like I’m running the Boston Marathon tomorrow… I rest, don’t run and load up on carbs.
    88. My friends won’t stop teasing me for giving up in a marathon after only 1 mile… I’ve become a running joke.
    89. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
    90. What do you call a free treadmill?… Outside.
    91. Why do marathon runners go jogging early in the morning?… They want to finish before their brain figures out what they’re doing.
    92. I forgot my first marathon joke…I need something to jog my memory!
    93. Did you hear about the man who finished the marathon in under two hours?… He was Russian!
    94. Why should you eat McDonald’s before a marathon?… You’ve gotta have some fast food!
    95. How did the lawyer with the leg injury still manage to win the marathon?…He had the power of a torn knee!
    96. Did you hear about the marathon runner who was afraid of speed bumps on the road?… He’s slowly getting over it!
    97. Why are snowmen so bad at marathons?… They just can’t warm up!
    98. What do you call it when a stand-up comedian has a lot of bits about marathons in his set?… A running joke!
    99. Did you hear about the marathon runner who did the race barefoot?… She suffered the agony of de-feet!
    100. Where does the Helsinki Marathon end?… At the Finnish line!
    101. Why was the DJ disqualified from the marathon?… He kept changing tracks!
    102. What’s the best time to run a marathon?… Lent, because then you fast!
    103. Training for a marathon is very big commitment… But it’s worth it in the long run!
    104. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell how many miles the Boston Marathon is?
    105. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe what town starts the Boston Marathon?
    106. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the name of the father-son team that ran the Boston Marathon?
    107. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Men’s division?
    108. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Women’s division?
    109. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Men’s wheelchair division?
    110. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the course record for the Boston Marathon Women’s wheelchair division?

    Honorable Mentions:

    1. If twenty monkeys run after one banana, what time is it?… Twenty after one!
    2. Why do dogs run in circles?… Because its hard to run in squares!
    3. Why did the vegetarians stop running cross country?… They didn’t like meets!
    4. What race is never run?… A swimming race.
    5. What do a dentist and a track coach have in common?… They both use drills!

     

  • #1 Essay Writing Service for College Students

    My Town Tutors is making a huge commitment to be the #1 tutoring resource for parents and teachers in America. Our motto is “Teachers are great tutors!” Parents love the fact that every teacher in our directory is a teacher! This summer we are expanding to all 50 states!
    Read an article that explains why My Town Tutors is becoming the #1 resource for tutoring in America!
    We are looking for a college or college-friendly company to sponsor this page!
    Before you read any further! STOP! DO NOT CHEAT! DO NOT PLAGIARIZE!
    We list some very talented English teachers who tutor. Enter your zip code to find a qualified educator who can help you create an original essay that can earn a quality grade. You will also be able to look yourself in the eye when you look in the mirror.
    Top Essay Services for College Students!
    Top 10 Blogs for College Students!

    1. World Essays: We are glad to offer reliable service in the sphere of academic assistance. We aim to provide you with cost-effective papers of different types to meet your academic needs with high standards.

     

  • Top Essay Writing Services for College Students

    My Town Tutors is making a huge commitment to be the #1 tutoring resource for parents and teachers in America. Our motto is “Teachers are great tutors!” Parents love the fact that every teacher in our directory is a teacher! This summer we are expanding to all 50 states!
    Read an article that explains why My Town Tutors is becoming the #1 resource for tutoring in America!
    We are looking for a college or college-friendly company to sponsor this page!
    Before you read any further! STOP! DO NOT CHEAT! DO NOT PLAGIARIZE!
    We list some very talented English teachers who tutor. Enter your zip code to find a qualified educator who can help you create an original essay that can earn a quality grade. You will also be able to look yourself in the eye when you look in the mirror.
    Top 10 Blogs for College Students!

  • College Blogs: Top 10 Blogs for College Students

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!





    Top Joke Pages

    1. Summer Jokes
    2. 180 School Jokes
    3. Clean Jokes
    4. 365 Family Friendly Jokes

    Graduation Jokes
    Funny Jokes for Each MonthJokes for Kids A – ZSports Jokes A-Z
    TOP U.S. COLLEGESCollege Advice
    Top 10 Blogs for College Students#1 Writing Service for College Students!
    #1 Motivational Speech for Students!
    #1 Math Interactive for College Students!
    College Applications & Admissions

    1. The Benefits of a College Campus Visit by Katie Storer is an Assistant Director of Admissions at Nichols College.
    2. College Applications: 6 Important Lessons for Parents by Debbie Schwartz, Founder of Road2College @rd2college.
    3. The Pros and Cons of Essay Writing Services: by Evelyn Golston is a long serving writer at Essay Jedi.
    4. The Best College Advice: Listen to Your Parents! by Giuliana Napolitano at @gnapolitttt.
    5. How to Avoid The 5 Worst College Application Mistakes by Anthony-James Green, a world-renowned SAT and ACT tutor with over 10,000 hours of experience teaching these tests @TstPrpAuthority
    6. Education is The Greatest Investment by James Jay is a twenty-five-year-old family man who is trying to make a positive impact in the world while enjoying life to the fullest.
    7. 5 Tips for Selecting the Best Essay Writing Service
    8. Internships: Tips for Delaying the Deadline for an Internship Offer
    9. 3 Indisputable Reasons Why You Should Major in Math (101 Pi Day Jokes)

    Student Athletes

    1. How Bad Do You Want It?: by Eric Thomas @Ericthomasbtc.
    2. Top 10 Questions for Student-Athletes Picking a College: by Erin Humphreys of @RecruitTalk.

    Colleges

    1. 5 Reasons to Discover the “Dean Difference”
    2. How to Develop Students with 1-minute Speeches

     

  • How to Develop Students with 1-Minute Speeches

    My Town Tutors is making a huge commitment to be the #1 tutoring resource for parents and teachers in America. Our motto is “Teachers are great tutors!” Parents love the fact that every teacher in our directory is a teacher! This summer we are expanding to all 50 states!
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    Top 10 College Blogs! Complete list of college blogs!

    It is no secret that teaching involves plenty of planning. Usually, classroom activities tend to be structured. In fact, the more structured they are, the less stress teachers experience when delivering the new materials to students. Thus, preparation to classes is vastly important both for teachers and their pupils. On the other hand, however, rigid lessons tend to always bore students. At least, they substitute creativity with standardization, spontaneity with predictability. Teachers might often experience a pressing need to break the routine of a lesson with a fun distraction which will also serve as a practical exercise. It might be the right time to utilize a method of one-minute speeches.

    What are the one-minute speeches and what purpose do they serve?

    You might see it as an improvisational exercise to help students train their high-level thinking and practice creativity. One-minute pop-up speeches can be initiated by a teacher at some point of a lesson and continued by students who volunteer. The topics of these brief presentations might be either related to a specific topic or be spontaneous too.

    How can the method of one-minute speeches be helpful in a school curriculum?

    For a start, it helps to reduce stress that both teacher and students might experience in relation to a formal situation in a classroom. It introduces an element of a play in a structured lesson plan and, thus, serving as an ice-breaker in some situations and providing overall relief.

    What are the advantages of one-minute speeches?

    The main advantage of this type of an exercise is that it does not take too much time. It can serve as an immediate brain-switcher for students to set them onto creativity mode. Once the teachers pull the trigger by breaking the lesson and announcing the fun time, young people’s minds are activated. The method can be implemented at the end of the lesson or introduced somewhere in the middle, depending on the time that you have at your disposal. Your only guidelines for this exercise should be the presence of the introduction, body and conclusion, and the natural flow of the speech itself. Another important issue about these short speeches is that students are not appointed by the teacher, but volunteer to speak. Moreover, due to the fact that everything is done impromptu in the class, students don’t have the possibility to use an essay writing service like WorldEssays.com. So, teachers don’t need to worry about that.

    Why do teachers need to use this exercise?

    The truth is, there is too little structure in real life. Young people’s skills of finding creative solutions to different worldly challenges are crucial in everyday situations, and formal lessons do not provide students with the ability to overcome them. When extemporary speeches are practiced in the classroom, students develop a range of essential real-life skills, such as creativity, spontaneity, or quick decision making. One-minute speeches help to warm up students and let them expand their thinking abilities. At the same time, one-minute impromptu speeches can inspire, provoke, and persuade the listeners just as well as carefully planned and structured ones. Besides, the problem of a majority of students is that they usually can write a decent argumentative essay or give a great speech once they are prepared, but they lack the oral fluency. Practicing one-minute extemporaneous speeches will boost the students’ communicative skills, as well as their ability to process information on the go.

    The best thing about tools such as one-minute speeches is that they can fit into any kind of subjects; they are not limited to use in a public speaking class. They can be utilized in any academic settings, whether they serve as distractors from the studying routine or train the ability to speak on the subject-relevant issues in a time-efficient manner. Tools like this might be used to facilitate communication between students as well — due to their brevity, one-minute pop-up speeches allow all students experience the chance to deliver their message to the rest of the class, provided that the others will listen and participate.

  • Top Boston Marathon Twitter Accounts

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    Top 10 Seasonal Jokes!A GREAT advertising opportunity! 365 Sports Jokes!
    Top Marathon Jokes!

    Find a Private U.S. Tutor!

    Social Media is part of modern day sports and sports culture. Twitter is a great way to follow the Boston Marathon which is always held on Patriots Day! Below are a few of the useful twitter accounts for the Boston Marathon!

    1. @BostonMarathon (136K) The Boston Marathon, organized by the@BAA, is the world’s oldest annual marathon, and is part of the Abbott@WMMajors
    2. @jhboston26 (36.2K followers) John Hancock celebrates 31yrs of Boston Marathon sponsorship- JH Elite Athlete Team, Running News, Non-Profit Teams- Join Us!Guidelines http://bit.ly/12HAGC johnhancock.com/bostonmarathon…
    3. @JohnHancockUSA (23.6K followers) A financial services leader helping clients and communities; follow for news, community stories and financial insights. For guidelines:http://bit.ly/12HAGCgjohnhancock.com
    4. @WMMajors (10.2K followers) The World Marathon Majors include Tokyo, Boston, London, Berlin, Chicago &NYC Marathons, w/ an annual $1M prize pro circuit, to promote elites & the sport. TOK BOS LON BER CHI NYC
    5. @JBSamuelson (9.8K followers) Running around in circles trying to figure it all out while trying to stay fit, green and healthy. It’s all about balancing your life.
    6. @Marathon_Sports (8.5K followers) Boston’s favorite running specialty store since 1975. Boston, MA. marathonsports.com
    7. @OneFundBoston (7.1K followers) @MassGoverno and @MayorTomMeninoannounce The One Fund Boston, Inc. to help people most affected by the tragic events of April 15, 2013. #OneBoston
    8. @BillRodgersRACE (2.5K followers) 4-time winner of Boston Marathon, 4-time winner of NYC Marathon. Boston, MA – USA
    9. @utapippig (1.4K followers) Speaker, Writer Running To Freedom™ President Take The Magic Step® 3xBoston, 3xBerlin, NYC Marathon winner. TakeTheMagicStep.com
    10. @Bostonthefilm (.9 followers) The official documentary film about@BostonMarathon. Maintained by @KellisLST and others. bostonmarathonfilm.com
    11. @HoytRunninChair (.7K followers) Michael DiDonato; Southbridge Tool & Mfg; Team Hoyt Running Chairs. Giving physically challenged individuals the chance to experience the thrill of the race. Massachusetts teamhoytrunningchairs.com
    12. @Dickhoyt262 (.3K followers) YES YOU CAN! Holland, MA teamhoyt.com



     

  • Revolutionary War Jokes: Top Revolutionary War Jokes

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    Top Summer Jokes & Top Social Studies Jokes

    1. What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
    2. What did one American flag say to the other flag?….. Nothing. It just waved!
    3. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
    4. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
    5. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up!
    6. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!”
    7. What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
    8. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
    9. Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. (4th of July Quiz)
    10. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
    11. Where did General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies!
    12. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?Fire crackers.
    13. What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
    14. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
    15. Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies.
    16. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
    17. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
    18. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!.
    19. What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!”
    20. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
    21. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! (Christmas TriviaChristmas Jokes)
    22. What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion!
    23. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
    24. What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! (Top Christmas Jokes)
    25. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
    26. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.
    27. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle!
    28. What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock!
    29. What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker
    30. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti jello
    31. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler
    32. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette
    33. What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
    34. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in ink.” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    35. What’s red, white, blue and green? A seasick Uncle Sam
    36. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
    37. What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?… ”Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”
    38. What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?… A powdered wigwam!
    39. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler.
    40. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Top Presidents’ Day Jokes)
    41. Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.
    42. Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!”
    43. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
    44. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country!
    45. My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?
    46. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians!
    47. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?… Beneduck Arnold.
    48. Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?”
      Student: “An eye doctor?” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    49. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle!
    50. “My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.” Friend: “Is he all right now?”…. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.”
    51. Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?… To hold up his pants.
    52. Food, Family, Fourth of july, and Fireworks. The four best F words ever!
    53. Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin
    54. What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?… Hi, Pop!
    55. What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party.
    56. Why did the British soldiers wear red coat?… So they could hide in the tomatoes.
    57. What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
    58. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic pickle.
    59. What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle
    60. British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July.When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea.
    61. Who gave the liberty Bell to Philadelphia?… A duck family, Because it had a qwack in it!
    62. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall.
    63. What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop!
    64. What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever”!
    65. What is red, white, blue, and yellow?… A star-spangled banana.
    66. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw.
    67. The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.”
    68. A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    69. What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin!
    70. What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere.
    71. What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?… Dino-mite!
    72. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide!
    73. Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
      Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    74. What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?… Yankee Doofus!
    75. How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas TriviaChristmas Jokes)
    76. Teacher: “What do you know that has stars and stripes?” Student: “A movie about a zebra!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    77. What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1
    78. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert

     

  • Massachusetts Family Fun: April 2016

    My Town Tutors is making a huge commitment to be the #1 tutoring resource for parents and teachers in America. Our motto is “Teachers are great tutors!” Parents love the fact that every teacher in our directory is a teacher! This summer we are expanding to all 50 states!
    Read an article that explains why My Town Tutors is becoming the #1 resource for tutoring in America!
    Please Share!
    My Town Tutors makes it easy for parents to connect with local teachers who tutor. Parents can search for FREE!  Teachers can register anytime. We are always looking to great teachers who tutors. Top U.S. Tutors!
    My Town Tutors has a goal: A Teacher who Tutors in Every Massachusetts Town.
    FIND A PRIVATE U.S. TUTOR! Top Massachusetts SchoolsTop Massachusetts Jokes
     

    April 2016 (April Jokes)

    1. April 11th: Attend the Red Sox Opening Day at Fenway Park!
    2. April 15: Anniversary of the Boston Marathon Bombing, Boston Public Library: Marathon Memorial Exhibits, Boston Red Sox: Boston Marathon Tribute 4/20/13, Fenway’s Keeper: Celebrating #BostonStrong! ESPN e:60, Boston Strong Concert Highlights, President Obama’s Speech: Boston Strong: Run with Endurance the Race That Before Us! (Speech from Boston “Healing our City: an Interfaith Service”)
    3. April 18, 2016: Patriot’s Day – Battle of Lexington and Concord. President William Jefferson Clinton Reads A Concord Hymn, Mission US: Crown or Colony
    4. April 18, 2016: Watch or Attend the Boston Marathon:
    5. April 7, 2013 – May 11, 2013:Visit the Boston Public Library for Marathon Memorial Exhibits. (@BPLBoston)
    6. April 22, 2014: Visit Minute Man National Park (Patriot’s Day April).
    7. April 22, 2014: Watch the Boston Marathon (@bostonmarathon)

    Any Time

    1. Visit the Boston Museum of Science. The Boston Museum of Science is AWESOME for Families
    2. Visit the Boston Children’s Museum: Great for younger kids!
    3. Attend a Harlem Globetrotters game at the TD Garden or the Dunkin Donuts CenterProvidence, Rhode Island DCU Center (April 2013)
    4. Attend a Brockton Rox baseball game.
    5. Attend a Plymouth Pirate Cruise: great for 4 – 12 year-olds.
    6. Attend a Wheelock Family Theatre Production
    7. Visit the Fuller Craft Museum in Brockton.
    8. Go on a beach walk.
    9. Celebrate Lincoln Days.
    10. Celebrate Maple Days.
    11. Friday Nights: Attend Family Fun Nights at the Boston Children’s Museum for $1.
    12. Have a Family Game Night!
    13. Attend John F. Kennedy Library.
    14. Attend Special Events at the Winslow House.
    15. Explore the Shipwrecks of Boson Harbor.
    16. Visit the Hull Lifesaving Museum.

     

  • The North Carolina Tutoring & Learning Association

    My Town Tutors is making a huge commitment to be the #1 tutoring resource for parents and teachers in America. Our motto is “Teachers are great tutors!” Parents love the fact that every teacher in our directory is a teacher! This summer we are expanding to all 50 states!
    Read an article that explains why My Town Tutors is becoming the #1 resource for tutoring in America!
    Please Share!

    Top Tutoring Jokes & Tutoring Information!


    Author Bio: The North Carolina Tutoring and Learning Association (NCTLA) began in 2004 as a small group of individuals who wanted to share ideas and information related to their tutoring programs. Since that time, we have grown into a group of collegiate administrators, instructors, staff, and tutors who strive to improve and develop learning and tutoring centers across the state. NCTLA provides opportunities for educational and professional development of its members that will enhance the academic success of  students. We provide support by offering opportunities for networking, for the exchange of ideas and best practices, for information on new initiatives, and by serving as a  mouthpiece for concerns and issues of our member schools. Quite simply, our goal is to help facilitate improved tutoring and learning center services to students throughout North Carolina.
    NCTLA Mission Statement
    The mission of the North Carolina Tutoring and Learning Association (NCTLA) is to provide support for the development and improvement of learning and tutoring centers in the state. In addition, NCTLA provides opportunities for educational and professional development of its members that will enhance the academic success of students. NCTLA supports learning/tutoring professionals in the following ways:

    • Assists in the creation of new and enhancement of existing learning and tutoring centers and programs.
    • Provides opportunities for professional development, networking, and exchange of ideas through conferences and workshops.
    • Informs the public, college, and systems office of our goals, programs, and services.
    • Develops uniform practices and reporting procedures.
    • Develops tutorial materials, methods, procedures, and services.

    NCTLA supports learning and tutoring center professionals in the following ways:

    • Assists in the creation of new and enhancement of existing learning and tutoring centers and programs;
    • Provides opportunities for professional development, networking, and exchange of ideas through conferences and workshops;
    • Informs the public, college, and systems office of our goals, programs, and services;
    • Develops uniform practices and reporting procedures;
    • Develops tutorial materials, methods, procedures, and services.

    Who Are Our Members?
    Our members include administrators, staff, instructors, and student tutors who are involved in tutoring, mentoring, developmental education, and working with students with disabilities. The areas include learning center operations, supplemental instruction, and TRIO grant administration.
    When Do We Meet?
    The NCTLA meets twice a year – Fall and Spring.
    Some of the topics that were discussed at past conferences and workshops were:

    • Technology in Centers
    • Peer and Professional Tutors
    • Tutoring Nightmares
    • Tutoring Students with Autism
    • FTE Funding and Reporting
    • Tutor Training
    • Supplemental Instruction
    • Developing and Establishing a Writing Center
    • Online Tutoring (In-house and Out Sourced)
    • Grant Writing
    • Forming Faculty Connections To Enhance Students Success And Retention – Meeting Faculty Expectations Of The Learning Center
    • And many more!