Ash Wednesday Jokes

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• Jokes for Each Day of the Week:
• Mardi Gras Jokes:
• Tuesday Jokes:
• Wednesday Jokes:
• Ash Wednesday Jokes:

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1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Ash Wednesday jokes. 
2. Church Sign: Lent is coming…. get your ash to church! 
3. Ash Wednesday: The day when a bunch of people with no religion the rest of the year show everyone what religion they are.  
4. On Ash Wednesday I will be giving up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights. It’s going to be completely… Excel Lent.
5. U2 Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe believe U2 released on February 18th, 2026 U2 SURPRISE-DROP POLITICALLY CHARGED ‘DAYS OF ASH’ EP WITH SIX NEW SONGS?
6. Movie Jokes: Avengers: Infinity War is the perfect holiday movie… For Ash Wednesday.
7. U2 Jokes: U2 released on February 18th, 2026 “Days of Ash. It this the unofficial or official song of Ash Wednesday?
8. U2 Jokes: U2 released on February 18th, 2026 “Days of Ash. It this the unofficial or official EP of Ash Wednesday?
9. What is a Christian’s favorite meal between Ash Wednesday and Easter?… Lentil soup.  
10. Marathon Jokes: Why do Catholics always run marathons the day after Mardi Gras?… Because that’s when they fast! 
11. What do you call it when you’re burnt out in the middle of the week?… Ash Wednesday.
12. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the date of Ash Wednesday?
13. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the history of Ash Wednesday?
14. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the connection between  Ash Wednesday and Fat Tuesday?
15. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the connection between  Ash Wednesday and Mardi Gras?
16. I didn’t want to observe the period from Ash Wednesday to Easter again, but did so to stop my girlfriend’s constant nagging… I re-Lent-ed.
17. Movie Jokes: What’s Thanos’ favorite holiday?… Ash Wednesday.
18. Skeleton Jokes: Why did the skeleton go to church on Ash Wednesday?… It wanted to bone up on its spirituality.
19. Skeleton Jokes: Why didn’t the skeleton go to church on Ash Wednesday?… It had no body to go with.
20. How did the computer observe Ash Wednesday?… It gave up scrolling through social media for Lent.
21. Ash Wednesday was yesterday so my family is going to be eating a lot more legumes… Mostly lentils.
22. Movie Jokes: What is Sean Connery’s favorite holiday?… Ash Wednesday.
23. What did the pastor say to the boy skipping mass on Ash Wednesday?… Get your ash back over here.
24. What is a Pokemon trainer’s favorite holiday?… Ash Wednesday.
25. Math Jokes: Why did the math book go to church on Ash Wednesday?… It wanted to pray for higher grades.
26. Why did the grape go to church on Ash Wednesday?… It wanted to repent for its wine-ing ways.
27. How did the comedian observe Ash Wednesday?… They gave up their punchlines for 40 days.
28. Why did the athlete go to church on Ash Wednesday?… They wanted to work on their soul fitness.
29. How did the clock observe Ash Wednesday?… It gave up its tic-toc to find a moment of peace.
30. Apple Jokes: Why did the apple go to church on Ash Wednesday?… It wanted to find some divine “core” values.
31. The church was packed with the faithful eager to receive ashes on Ash Wednesday… The sacristan offered to help.
32. Every year on Ash Wednesday, my friend stops using isopropyl in lieu of dryer fluff… He gives up alcohol for lint.
33. Ash Wednesday Jokes: