My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.
Google Search “101 New Year’s Eve Jokes”
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about New Year’s Eve.
- Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time’s Square …… and year after year, they drop the ball. (New York Jokes)
- May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions.
- New Year?… I just got used to this last one!
- What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security. (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
- Last year, I was able to keep all of my New Year’s resolutions… … tucked away in a journal under my bed.
- Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve… It’s December 31st.
- What was the official snack food of New Year’s Eve?… Dick Clark Bar.
- I love when they drop the ball in Times Square …… It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
- My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating… But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start.
- Whoever is in charge of rolling out the welcome mat for 2025, please, Please, PLEASE do a good job… the last few year’s the person failed. (Covid Jokes)
- How did Prince celebrate the new millennium?… He partied like it was 1999.
- Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s…. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
- An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
- Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?… Times Square. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
- At the beginning of this year I made a New Year’s resolution to lose 10 pounds … … Only 15 more to go!
- “I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.” A dad on New Year’s Eve. (Dad Jokes)
- Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?… He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
- What does every new year have in store for us?… Another 365 days!
- They say New York has the best New Year’s Eve Party… I’d say it’s overrated — every year they drop the ball.
- Knock knock... Who’s there?… Abbey... Abbey who?… Abbey New Year! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
- Why did the man put candy on his pillow on New Year’s Eve?… He wanted to start the year with sweet dreams.
- Knock knock… Who’s there?… Radio. Radio who?… Radio not, it’s a New Year’s Eve.
- What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
- During what year did Christmas Day and New Year’s Day fall in the same year?… Every year!
- A teenager who had too much to drink decides to walk home on New Year’s Eve. A policeman stopped the teen and asked where he was going. “I’m on my way to a lecture,” the young man replied. The cop scoffed, “Who gives lectures on New Year’s Eve?” The man answered: “My Mom.”
- How does New Year’s Eve end?… With the letter ‘E’!
- What is the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?… 1080p.
- I would lose weight for my New Year’s resolution …… but I hate losing.
- What do farmers give their wives at midnight on New Year’s Eve?… Hogs and kisses.
- Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Razor… Razor who?… Razor glass and toast the New Year.
- Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year.
- I could not wait till New Year’s Day 2021… Then I could say hindsight is really 2020.
- How did the Grinch get home from the New Year’s Eve party?… He took a Who-ber. (Car Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
- What is a New Year’s resolution?… Something that goes in one year and out the other.
- I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
- Why is partying in Times Square overrated?… Because they drop the ball every year.
- What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Eve?…. Hoppy New Year! (Easter Jokes)
- Where does a math teacher go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?… Times Square. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
- New Year’s Eve Jokes for Teachers: “I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.” A high school teacher on the last day before Winter Break. (Dad Jokes & High School Jokes)
- Let’s celebrate New Year’s Eve …… by making many pour decisions! (Beer Jokes)
- What does a farmer grow on January 1?… New Year’s hay.
- A man who had too much to drink decides to walk home on New Year’s Eve. A policeman stopped the man and asked where he was going. “I’m on my way to a lecture,” the man replied. The cop scoffed, “Who gives lectures on New Year’s Eve?” The man answered: “My wife.”
- What do New Year’s Day parades have in common with Santa Claus?… No one is awake to see either of them.
- What’s a spider’s New Year’s resolution?… To spend less time on the web.
- What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moo Year’s Eve! (Cow Jokes)
- An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve… One was charged and the other was let off. (Fireworks Jokes & Police Jokes)
- What song does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG Syne. (Vampire Jokes & 365 Family Friendly Jokes)
- What do you call someone who says they know all the words to “Auld Lang Syne”?… A liar.
- What do the teacher say when bidding farewell to students on Dec. 31?… “See you next year!””
- What’s the one group that hates New Year’s Day?… The New Year’s Eve cleanup crew.
- What did Adam say to Eve on Dec. 31?… It’s New Year’s, Eve.
- What compliment did the drink glass give to the champagne on New Year’s Eve?… “You’re so bubbly!”
- Why was the telephone late for work on Jan. 1?… It was busy ringing in the new year!
- What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Eve?…. Hoppy New Year! (Easter Jokes)
- If 2020 & 2021 were people I’d sue them for pain and suffering. (Lawyer Jokes)
- What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?… Happy New Cheer!
- (In 2020) My friend asked me where I see myself in the new year… How would I know? I don’t have 2020 vision.
- What do criminals pay on Jan. 1?… New Year’s restitution.
- What was the Amityville Priest’s resolution?… To exorcise more.
- Did you hear about the fire cracker’s New Year’s Eve party?… It was a BANG! (Fireworks Jokes)
- What did the ghost say on January 1st?… Happy Boo Year. (Ghost Jokes)
- What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moo Year’s Eve. (Cow Jokes)
- My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full …… with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
- What New Year’s resolution guarantees success?… Making a resolution to break your resolution.
- What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his New Year’s Eve party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
- What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?… Chill out.
- What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?… The ice falls out of your drinks! (Track & Field Jokes)
- What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?… To travel more. (365 Basketball Jokes)
- During what year did Christmas Eve and New Year’s Eve fall in the same year?… Every year!
- What is a corn’s favorite holiday?… New Ear’s Eve. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
- The year 2020 was filled with so many puns about perfect vision …… I can’t wait to see them all.
- Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?… Waiting for the punchline.
- New Year’s Resolution for a Teacher: I will not roll my eyes when school administrators offer impractical classroom “suggestions” at faculty meetings.
- New Year’s Resolution for a Teacher: I will not speak ill of the copy machine when it breaks down. I will have plenty of time later.
- What did the little champagne bottle call his father?… Pop! (Dad Jokes)
- Why should you stand on just your left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown?… So you start the New Year on the right foot.
- What is the snowman’s New Year’s resolution?… To chill out more.
- Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?… To start off the New Year in a cool way.
- Are you ready for the most famous countdown of the whole world? New Years is coming! And 10, 9, 8, …. 3, 2, 1…. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (Math Jokes for Teachers)
- This New Year’s, I resolved to lead a better life… Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.
- What does every new leap year have in store for us?… Another 366 days!
- What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31?… Ring in the New Year.
- My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
- What does a caterpillar do on Jan. 1?… Turns over a new leaf.
- What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
- The only “homework” you want your dog to chew up is your list of New Year’s resolutions. (December Jokes for Teachers)
- What does a ghoul say on Dec. 31?… “Happy New Fear!”
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about New Year’s Eve?
- What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?… Fire crackers.
- Knock knock... Who’s there?… Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who?… Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good New Year’s Eve knock-knock joke?
- (In 2020) Looking at the new year’s calendar …… we’ll all have 2020 vision.
- Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good New Year’s Eve knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
- What happened to the woman who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… She got 12 months! (Police Jokes)
- What do you say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31?… “See you next year!”
- Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve?… Because 9, 8, 7 … (Math Jokes for Kids)
- What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moo Year’s Day! (Cow Jokes)
- What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
- My New Year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to “Auld Lang Syne.” (Music Jokes)
- Apparently most babies are born in September… I suppose that’s one way to start the new year off with a bang.