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Google Search “Top 50 Valentine’s Day Jokes”

  1. Biathalon JokesBiathalon Pun: My dating life is like a biathlon… cold, long, and full of missed shots.
  2. Biathalon JokesBiathalon Pun: I asked my date if they liked biathlon. They said, “I’ll ski you later.”
  3. Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?… Because you can really party hearty!
  4. Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?… No, but they had an apple.
  5. What did one oar say to the other?… “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”
  6. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s all heart.
  7. What did the pencil say to the paper?… I dot my i’s on you!
  8. What did the light bulb say to the switch?… You turn me on.
  9. Do you have a date for Valentines Day?… Yes, February 14th.
  10. “I can’t be your Valentine for medical reasons.”…“Really?”… “Yeah, you make me sick!”
  11. What did the Valentine’s Day card say to the stamp?… Stick with me and you’ll go places!
  12. What do Chocolate, men, and coffee have in common?… They are all better rich! (Top Holiday Jokes & Top Coffee Day Jokes)
  13. What did one light bulb say to the other?… I love you a whole watt!
  14. Did you hear the one about the phoney Cupid?… He was totally bow-gus!
  15. What do you call two birds in love?…. Tweethearts!
  16. What did the caveman give his wife on Valentine’s Day?… Ughs and kisses!
  17. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine’s Day?… I’m nuts about you!
  18. What did the girl squirrel say to the boy squirrel on Valentine’s Day?… You’re nuts so bad yourself!
  19. What is the difference between a calendar and single person?… A calendar has a date on Valentine’s day.
  20. Why did the banana go out with the prune for Valentine’s Day?… Because he couldn’t get a date.
  21. Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?… Sure, they’re very scent-imental!
  22. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?… I love you a ton!
  23. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?… Sherwood… Sherwood who?… Sherwood like to be your valentine! (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
  24. What does a carpet salesman give his wife for Valentine’s Day?… Rugs and kisses!
  25. What do you call a very small Valentine’s?… A Valentiny!
  26. What is a vampire’s sweetheart called?… His ghoul-friend.
  27. What did the drum say to his Valentine?… My heart beats for you! (Top Biology Jokes)
  28. What did one calculator say to the other?… “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!” (101 Math Jokes)
  29. What did the painter say to his Valentine?… I love you with all my art!
  30. What did the owl say to his Valentine?… Owl be yours!
  31. What did the cat say to his Valentine?… You’re purr-fect for me!
  32. If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her?… Antelope.
  33. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?… I find you very attractive.
  34. Knock, Knock… Who’s there?… Olive… Olive who?… Olive you!
  35. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?…. You’re fun to hang around with.
  36. What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?… “I’ve got a crutch on you!”
  37. Knock knock!…Who’s there?… Howard… Howard who?… Howard you like a big kiss?
  38. What do single people call Valentine’s Day?… Happy Independence Day (Top 40 4th of July Jokes).
  39. Why did the kangaroo love the little Australian bear?… Because the bear had many fine koala-ties!
  40. What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?… Cauliflowers!
  41. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Atlas… Atlas who?… Atlas Valentine’s Day is here!
  42. What would you get if you crossed a dog with a valentine card?…. A card that says, “I love you drool-ly!” (Top Dog Jokes)
  43. Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?… She stole his heart.
  44. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day?…. Hogs and kisses!
  45. What did one pickle say to the other?… You mean a great dill to me.
  46. Knock, knock!… Who’s there?… Jimmy… Jimmy who?… Jimmy a little kiss?
  47. What did one volcano say to the other?…I lava you.(Top Geography Jokes)
  48. Why did the cannibal break up with his Valentine?… She didn’t suit his taste!
  49. What did one light bult say to the other?… You light up my life!
  50. How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?… He gave her a ring.