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If you’re reading this, congratulations on your child making a high school basketball team. This is not an easy task in any state. Basketball is a very competitive sport, were only the strong survive.
The basketball participation pyramid continues to get smaller with each level of basketball. Some youth basketball programs have up to three travel teams with up to 44 players per grade. A high school freshman basketball team typically carries 12 – 15 players. JV also will carry 15 players from both the sophomore and junior grades, in addition to possibly a few talented freshmen. A varsity team consists of 15 players from typically three different grades by the time a player reaches senior year.
For fun, keep copies of each team’s roster and record the grades of players on the team. See how many seniors on a roster. Also keep track of how many seniors start. I think you be surprised.
How Can A Parent Best Support A High School Player?
Listen: There are so many highs and lows in a high school game, season, and a career, that often the best thing to do when your child is speaking about his experience is to listen. REALLY LISTEN!.
Don’t pass judgment. Don’t give advice. Don’t scold. Simply listen and listen better than you ever listened in your life. After completely listen to ALL your child has shared, then it may be time to give feedback. Some of the topics that your child will talk about is a how they played, what their role is, why they were substituted, how other teammates played, pre-game handshakes, and the list goes on ….
And if you are a varsity parent, you are well aware of these topics, and perhaps have handled them extremely well, or perhaps, would like to go back and handle a discussion differently. Regardless of how your conversations go, the more you listen, the better you will be able to help you child navigate high school basketball.
Remember the Big Picture: High school basketball is intense and is a huge part of your family‘s life. For some players, it is who they are, it is their identity. But high school basketball is short-lived. There are other things to remember. The first priority of all student-athletes should be their academics. Players need to attend school, complete homework, and try to be as good student as possible. The reality for most high school basketball players, including captains, and all-stars is that their career will end in high school. If your child is motivated and talented enough, he/she may have an opportunity to play in college, but that is a discussion for another day.
Health, Rest, and Recovery: Do your best to encourage your child to eat healthy, get the proper rest, so they can have a productive basketball season.
Feed Them Well: Do your best to provide healthy food options for your child. In our hectic and chaotic world of parenting, raising a teenager, do all that you can do to provide meals that will allow the player to perform to the best of their abilities. Grilled chicken is a great source of protein and can be refrigerated and used throughout the season. Practice times are all over the place with most basketball programs, so providing healthy fuel, for the body is critical. Speak with your child and figure out the best food options that allow them to perform well in practice and especially on game day.
Provide Transportation and Be Early: For many players, the parent is the #1 means of transportation to and from practices. A parent is also the ride to games and the ride home after games. These car rides can be challenging at times do your best to be there early and get your child to practice and games EARLY! Coaches have been known to bench players who are late for a bus, and in some cases will leave the school if a child is late for the bus.
Also, in terms of car rides, see the above paragraphs on listening make the car ride, enjoyable.
Search for Open Gyms: The basketball season is a long and grueling season. However, some players feel the need to work on their game outside of the high school practice. Search your area for local gyms that have courts available for your child to work on his or her game.
Be a Basketball Buddy: At this point in your child’s career, unless you were a former coach or player, the player knows their game better than you do. Offer as much support as you can. Focus on the things the player does well. Do not be critical of the their play. If your child does like to work out, and you are in relatively good health, be a rebounder and passer for your child. This will help the player maximize the time at an open gym, to get the most improvement, and to have the most successful season and career.
Be Supportive of the Coaching Staff: “But my child’s coach is an idiot.” That is completely fine. And in some cases may be true. But remember you are a parent, and you have parent goggles. Support the decisions and philosophies of the coach.
Remove the parent goggles and try to be as supportive as possible of the coaches’ decisions on defenses, timeouts, and most importantly playing time. Coaching basketball is one of the most challenging jobs at the high school level. In football hard-working players can always get on special teams. 25 – 30 players can play in a high school football game (11 defense, 11 offense, and special teams). Basketball is not the case. Teams play no more than 8 – 9 players. So try to be supportive of the coaches while at the same time being supportive of your player.
Encourage Your Child to Improve Each Day: It is a very challenging season for a high school basketball player. It is emotionally and physically draining. But the ultimate goal in basketball and in life is gradual, continual self-improvement. Brad Stevens often says “We are trying to be the best version of ourselves.”
Help your player identify one or two little things they could focus on that they could do better. This is a gray area and you do not want to be critical. Coaches often give feedback throughout the season, and sometimes substitute players based on mistakes during a game. If the player is not offering help on defense that is something that they can focus on the game.
Encourage Balance: This can be challenging. Basketball is in an intense season that requires a huge time commitment. However, at times during the season, it is best to just get away and do something different. This could mean a dinner out, a trip to the movies, a movie night at home, or any other thing that your family enjoy. Sometimes the best thing for a basketball player is to take a little break and come back renewed. If a coach gives the players the weekend off, take advantage of that and try to do some other things that your family enjoys.
Be a Great Fan: Every league and state has sportsmanship guidelines and fan guidelines. Try to follow these to the best of your ability, however, challenging that may be. Do not coach on the sidelines, do not heckle officials, and try not to create a scene. Your child will appreciate it and you’ll enjoy the season a little bit more. This is easier said than done, but REALLY TRY!
Remember It Is Just Basketball: Are you kidding me? Just basketball? Yes, I am kidding you. It is basketball, and it is a very, very, very, very, very big part of your child and family’s life.
However, it truly is just basketball. It is short-lived, most players playing varsity for one or two years, 20 to 40 games. Make the most of it. Don’t spend your weekend rehashing a Friday night game, or coaching decisions that have been made. Remember, it is just basketball. It is meant to be fun. It is meant to be played fundamentally well.
Embrace the Player’s Role: Probably the best thing a parent can do is to help a child to embrace the role they have on the team. In most cases, it is not the starter or the star player. Help your child understand that whatever the role is, it is an important role and your child is an important part of the team. Encourage your child to do everything he/she can to support the teammates and coaches. Fill the role to the best of your ability and if possible throughout the season, try to expand that role. However, in most cases, the roles do not change all that much from the first day of tryouts till the final game.
Failure is Not Fatal: One of the hardest things for a parent to do is to watch a child fail. Think back on your life’s sports experiences. There were many failures and hopefully you came out of them OK. Some parents will have a player who is the leading scorer and one of the top players in the league.
These players will be under an incredible amount of stress. Once the scouting reports are established, opposing teams will do everything in their power to limit scoring opportunities. They will play aggressively and foul with lenient referees. You and your child may be completely frustrated. Simply encourage your child to do the best they can. That is all we want our children to do.
The Sun Will Rise: This was a famous phrase of a very successful Division III college basketball coach, who had coached several decades, and was a very close friend of Bobby Knight. Life does go on. Whether you win the state championship or lose the state championship. Whether you qualify for the postseason tournament or get eliminated on the last regular season game. Whether you are undefeated, you are completely defeated…
The sun will rise. Life will go on, and your child will need to attack the next day and try to be a little bit better.
Being a high school basketballbparent may be one of the most difficult chapters in your parenting career. It also may be one of the most rewarding and satisfying. Like we have encouraged your child, a parent must simply try their best.
Rough patches will be encounter and the probably will be difficult discussions. In some cases, the discussion may be to continue as a basketball player or to hang up the sneakers. To play or not to play is a very common discussion a child will have with the parents. This is a little too heavy to cover in one paragraph, so if you want in a situation where your child may choose to end his career, please check out to play or not to play.