My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.
Google Search “Cemetery Jokes”
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best cemetery jokes.
- Grandparent Jokes: Today I went to visit my dead grandparents at the cemetery but I accidentally visited the wrong tomb… It was a grave mistake.
- Music Jokes: What is Vivaldi doing now?… De-composing.
- Why was the ghost so tired?… He worked the graveyard shift.
- Why do puppies bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees!
- Baseball Jokes: Is There Baseball In Heaven? Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90′s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s baseball in heaven.” The dying man said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s baseball in heaven.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching on Wednesday.”
- The day after his wife vanished in a kayaking accident, a man from Anchorage, opened his door to find two serious-looking Alaska State Troopers standing before him. “Sir we regret to inform you that we have news regarding your wife,” one trooper began. “Tell me! Did you find her?” Wilkens blurted out, anxiously. The troopers exchanged glances. One spoke, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some fantastic news. Which would you like to hear first?” Bracing himself, a pale Mr. Wilkens responded, “Give me the bad news.” The trooper said, “I’m sorry, sir, but we recovered your wife’s body in Kachemak Bay this morning.” “Oh no!” gasped Wilkens. After a moment, he gathered himself and asked, “So, what’s the good news?” The trooper explained, “Well, when we brought her up, she had 12 twenty-five-pound king crabs, and six large Dungeness crabs attached to her. We’re confident you’re entitled to a share of the catch.” Stunned, Wilkens asked, “If that’s the good news, then what’s the fantastic news?” With a straight face, the trooper replied, “We’re pulling her up again tomorrow.”
- Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.” (Walking Jokes: Walking Jokes for Kids)
- Where is the cemetery?… It’s in the dead centre of town!
- Why is that cemetery so popular?… People have always been dying to get in!
- Why couldn’t the skeleton get into the cemetery?… He had no body to go with!
- What does a cemetery have a fence?… To keep the people out because they are dying to get in.
- Wow the cemetery is huge. How many people are dead in there?… All of them!
- Where do grave diggers get their coffee?… At the burial grounds!
- What Ramones song makes pet lovers a little sad?… Pet Semetery.
- Did you hear about the guy who wrote cemetery jokes?… He was sentence to death!
- Why do people hate driving in a cemetery… The roads are all dead ends!
- What time does a gave digger like to work?… The graveyard shift!
- Did you know the cemetery is the most popular place in town?… People are dying to get in!