Category: Massachusetts

  • Great Massachusetts Field Trips

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    Google Search “Massachusetts Field Trips”

    Field trips can be extremely exciting and educational. Students are exposed to new ways of thoughts and might be inspired to do some self-directed learning.

    Here are some ideas for Massachusetts for school learning! (Great link for other states!)

    1. Appalachian National Scenic Trail CT,GA,MA,MD,ME,NC,NH,NJ,NY,PA,TN,VA,VT,WVhttp://www.nps.gov/appa/index.htmThe Appalachian Trail is a 2,180+ mile long public footpath that traverses the scenic, wooded, pastoral, wild, and culturally resonant lands of the Appalachian Mountains. Conceived in 1921, built by private citizens, and completed in 1937, today the trail is managed by the National Park Service, US Forest Service, Appalachian Trail Conservancy, numerous state agencies and thousands of volunteers.
    2. Blackstone River Valley National Heritage CorridorRI, MA: http://www.nps.gov/blac/index.htm The Blackstone River runs from Worcester, MA to Providence, RI. Its waters powered the Slater Mill in Pawtucket, RI, America’s first successful cotton spinning mill. This creative spark began the nation’s transformation from Farm to Factory. Today, the Blackstone River Valley is a special type of National Park – a living landscape containing thousands of natural and historic treasures.
    3. Massachusetts Farms
    4. Massachusetts Zoos
    5. New England https://www.nps.gov/neen/index.htm: From the Sound to the Summits: the New England Trail covers 215 miles from Long Island Sound across long ridges to scenic mountain summits in Connecticut and Massachusetts. The trail offers panoramic vistas and close-ups of New England’s natural and cultural landscape: traprock ridges, historic village centers, farmlands, unfragmented forests, quiet streams, steep river valleys and waterfalls.
    6. Washington-Rochambeau National Historic Trailhttp://www.nps.gov/waro/index.htmIn 1781, General Rochambeau’s French Army joined forces with General Washington’s Continental Army to fight the British Army in Yorktown, Virginia. With the French Navy in support, the allied armies moved hundreds of miles to become the largest troop movement of the American Revolution. The effort and cooperation between the two sides led to a victory at Yorktown and secured American independence.
    1. Boston : The Children’s Museum (@BosChildMuseum)
    2. Boston: Edward M. Kennedy Institute for the U.S. Senate (@emkinstitute)
    3. Boston: Franklin Park Zoo (@zoonewengland)
    4. Boston: The New England Aquarium (@NEAQ / World Oceans Day Jokes)
    5. Boston National Historical Park (@bostonNHP) Boston, MA : http://www.nps.gov/bost/index.htm The Blackstone River powered America’s entry into the Age of Industry. The success of Samuel Slater’s cotton spinning mill in Pawtucket, RI touched off a chain reaction that changed how people worked and where they lived, and continues to reverberate across the nation to this day. Come visit and see how this revolution transformed the landscape of the Blackstone Valley and then the United States.
    6. Boston: Boston, MAhttps://www.nps.gov/bost/index.htm Discover how one city could be the Cradle of Liberty, site of the first major battle of American Revolution, and home to many who espoused that freedom can be extended to all.
    7. Boston African American National Historical Site(@BOAFNPS) Boston, MA:http://www.nps.gov/boaf/index.htm Centered on the north slope of Beacon Hill, the African American community of 19th century Boston led the city and the nation in the fight against slavery and injustice. These remarkable men and women, together with their allies, were leaders in Abolition Movement, the Underground Railroad, the Civil War, and the early struggle for equal rights and education.
    8. Boston Harbor Islands (@34islandsboston) Boston, MA:http://www.nps.gov/boha/index.htm . . . where you can walk a Civil War-era fort, visit historic lighthouses, explore tide pools, hike lush trails, camp under the stars, or relax while fishing, picnicking or swimming-all within reach of downtown Boston. Youth programs, visitor services, research, wildlife management, and more are coordinated on the park’s 34 islands and peninsulas by the Boston Harbor Islands Partnership.
    9. Brookline, MA: Frederick Law Olmsted http://www.nps.gov/frla/index.htm Frederick Law Olmsted (1822-1903) is recognized as the founder of American landscape architecture and the nation’s foremost parkmaker. Olmsted moved his home to suburban Boston in 1883 and established the world’s first full-scale professional office for the practice of landscape design. During the next century, his sons and successors perpetuated Olmsted’s design ideals, philosophy, and influence.
    10. Brookline, MAJohn Fitzgerald Kennedyhttp://www.nps.gov/jofi/index.htm n 1966, Rose Kennedy, the President’s mother returned to her family’s first home and birthplace of John F. Kennedy with the intention of sharing the values and expectations she believed defined her children’s early years. Today, visitors travel back in time through Mrs. Kennedy’s memories to understand the Kennedy family’s early years and how she helped Americans memorialize John Kennedy.
    11. Cambridge: Longfellow House Washington’s Headquarters MAhttp://www.nps.gov/long/index.htm Longfellow House – Washington’s Headquarters National Historic Site preserves the home of Henry W. Longfellow, one of the world’s foremost 19th century poets. The house also served as headquarters for General George Washington during the Siege of Boston, July 1775 – April 1776. In addition to its rich history, the site offers unique opportunities to explore 19th century literature and arts.
    12. Cambridge: The Museum of Science
    13. Cape Cod National Seashore (@CapeCodNPS) Wellfleet, MAhttp://www.nps.gov/caco/index.htm The great Outer Beach described by Thoreau in the 1800s is protected within the national seashore. Forty miles of pristine sandy beach, marshes, ponds, and uplands support diverse species. Lighthouses, cultural landscapes, and wild cranberry bogs offer a glimpse of Cape Cod’s past and continuing ways of life. Swimming beaches and walking and biking trails beckon today’s visitors.
    14. Concord: Minute Man: http://www.nps.gov/mima/index.htm At Minute Man National Historical Park the opening battle of the Revolution is brought to life as visitors explore the battlefields and structures associated with April 19, 1775, and witness the American revolutionary spirit through the writings of the Concord authors.
    15. Easton: The Children’s Museum in Easton
    16. Essex Essex County, MAhttp://www.nps.gov/esse/index.htm The Essex National Heritage Area begins just 10 miles north of Boston and covers 500 square miles of eastern Massachusetts to the New Hampshire border. The Area includes hundreds of historical sites, miles of intact landscapes, glistening coastal regions and lifetimes of rich experiences that chronicle the history of our region and of our nation.
    17. Lincoln: Minute Man: http://www.nps.gov/mima/index.htm At Minute Man National Historical Park the opening battle of the Revolution is brought to life as visitors explore the battlefields and structures associated with April 19, 1775, and witness the American revolutionary spirit through the writings of the Concord authors.
    18. Lexington: Minute Man: http://www.nps.gov/mima/index.htm At Minute Man National Historical Park the opening battle of the Revolution is brought to life as visitors explore the battlefields and structures associated with April 19, 1775, and witness the American revolutionary spirit through the writings of the Concord authors.
    19. Lowell Lowell: (@Lowell_NPS)http://www.nps.gov/lowe/index.htmDiscover the continuing revolution. Lowell’s water-powered textile mills catapulted the nation – including immigrant families and early female factory workers – into an uncertain new industrial era. Nearly 200 years later, the changes that began here still reverberate in our shifting global economy. Explore Lowell, a living monument to the dynamic human story of the Industrial Revolution.
    20. New Bedford Whaling (@nebe_interp) New Bedfordhttp://www.nps.gov/nebe/index.htm “The town itself is perhaps the dearest place to live in, in all New England..nowhere in all America will you find more patrician-like houses, parks and gardens more opulent, than in New Bedford…all these brave houses and flowery gardens came from the Atlantic, Pacific, and Indian oceans. One and all, they were harpooned and dragged up hither from the bottom of the sea.” H. Melville, “Moby-Dick” Web Rangers Activity: New Bedford Whaling Ship
    21. Plymouth: The Mayflower II
    22. Plymouth: Plimouth Plantation
    23. Plymouth: Whale Watch (Pirate Cruise)
    24. Quincy: Adams National Historical Park Quincy, MA: http://www.nps.gov/adam/index.htm From the sweet little farm at the foot of Penn’s Hill to the gentleman’s country estate at Peace field, Adams National Historical Park is the story of “heroes, statesman, philosophers … and learned women” whose ideas and actions helped to transform thirteen disparate colonies into one united nation.
    25. Salem: Salem Witch Museum
    26. Salem: Salem Maritime(@SalemMartimeNPS) http://www.nps.gov/sama/index.htm When the United States was young, ships from Salem, Massachusetts helped to build the new nation’s economy by carrying cargo back and forth from the West to Asia. The historic buildings, wharves, and reconstructed tall ship at this nine-acre National Park tell the stories of the sailors, Revolutionary War privateers, and merchants who brought the riches of the world to America.
    27. SandwichHeritage Plantation
    28. Sturbridge: Old Sturbridge Village
    29. Saugus: Saugus Iron Workshttp://www.nps.gov/sair/index.htm In the 1600′s, on the banks of the Saugus River, something extraordinary happened. Explore the place where European iron makers brought their special skills to a young Massachusetts colony. This nine-acre National Park includes working waterwheels, hot forges, mills, an historic 17th century home and a lush river basin.
    30. Springfield: Springfield Armoryhttp://www.nps.gov/spar/index.htm For nearly two centuries, the US Armed Forces and American industry looked to Springfield Armory for innovative engineering and superior firearms. Springfield Armory National Historic Site commemorates the critical role of the nation’s first armory by preserving and interpreting the world’s largest historic US military small arms collection, along with historic archives, buildings, and landscapes.
    31. Stoneham: Stone Zoo (@zoonewengland)
    32. Woods Hole, Falmouth:Woods Hole Aquarium
  • Back to School Jokes

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    Google Search “Back To School Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Back To School jokes.
    2. Lawn Sign on the First Day of School: Dear Teachers, Tag your it! Love the Parents.
    3. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year.
    4. A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
    5. Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework.
    6. The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either.
    7. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!
    8. Son: I’m not going back to school ever again! Mother: Why not? Son: The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
    9. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-2! B-2 who?…. B-2 school on time! It is the 1st day!
    10. Teacher: What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mother’s day? Student: The school bus!
    11. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, brush your teeth and comb your hair!
    12. What is white when it’s dirty and black when it’s clean?… A blackboard!… Oh we forgot it is not the 1980s!
    13. Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
    14. Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back!
    15. The first day of school wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by the second day of school, and the third day of school, and then the fourth day of school.
    16. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school — no homework!
    17. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school — I love teaching!
    18. Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t.” Student: Today and Tomorrow.
    19. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to school today?
    20. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your homework!
    21. Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school. Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
    22. What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Top Math Jokes)
    23. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Top Math Jokes)
    24. Son: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do. Mom: What was that? Son: My homework!
    25. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school — I love learning!
    26. What school supply is always tired?… A knapsack!
    27. Son: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Son: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
    28. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-2! B-2 who?…. B-2 school on time!
    29. Why was school easier for cave people?…. Because there was no history to study! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
    30. What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler.
    31. WATSON: What school did you go to, Holmes? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
    32. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
    33. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High school.
    34. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?…  Boarding school.
    35. What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?…  Knight school.
    36. Mother: Does your teacher like you? Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper!
    37. A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.
    38. Mother: How do you like your new teacher? Son: I don’t. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn’t give me one!
    39. A math book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss. (Top Math Jokes)
    40. Teacher: I’m your teacher this year. My name is Mr. Wilson. Can you all remember that? Student: If we can’t, we’re going to have one hard time with the 9 times tables. (Top Math Jokes)
    41. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
    42. Teacher: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s Friday!
    43. Friend: Our teacher is going to be tough this year. We’ve been instructed to say “Yes, Sir” and “No, Sir.” Other Friend: That’s not unusual. Friend: It is when your teacher’s a woman.
    44. What are you going to be when you get out of school?… An old man!
    45. Teacher: Goodness, haven’t you finished washing that blackboard yet? You’ve been at it for an hour. Student: I know, but the more I wash it, the blacker it get.
    46. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses on the 1st day of school?… She had bright students! (Top Summer Jokes)
    47. Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?… Because it was always sweeping during class!
    48. Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: I want you to write 100 times, “I will come to school prepared.” Student: With what?
    49. Chemistry Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Chemistry Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O. (Top Chemistry Jokes)
    50. Why did the little vampires stay up all night?… They were studying for a blood test. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    51. Mother: What did you learn in school today? Son: How to write. Mother: What did you write? Son: I don’t know. They haven’t taught us how to read yet!
    52. How do bees get to school?… By school buzz!
    53. Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I ate it. Teacher: Why? Student: You said it was a piece of cake!
    54. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
    55. What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. (Top Social Studies Jokes)

    56. Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. Student: Me! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
    57. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?… Pop quizzes! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
    58. Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” Student: Okay, what are the words?
    59. Mom: What did you do at school today? Daughter: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Daughter: That’s right!
    60. What do little astronauts get when they do their homework?… Gold stars.
    61. Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday? Student: Seven. Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday? Student: Nine. Teacher: That’s impossible! STUDENT: No, it isn’t, teacher. I’m eight today.
    62. Mother: What did you learn during your 1st day of school today? Son: Not enough; I have to go back tomorrow!
    63. Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: How can you come to school without a pencil? Student: I took the bus.
    64. Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free.
    65. Teacher: Name six wild animals. Student: Two lions and four tigers.
    66. Where do monsters study? In ghoul school. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    67. Who sits in front of the class in ghoul school?… The creature teacher. (Top Halloween Jokes)
    68. Student: “Teacher, may I leave the room?” Teacher: “Well, you certainly can’t take it with you.”
    69. Teacher: Do you know “London Bridge Is Falling Down?” Student: No, but I hope no one gets hurt.
    70. Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning? Student: About an hour and a half after I arrived at school.
    71. Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe? Student: Because I don’t have a dog.
    72. A student came into his kindergarten class with a squirming worm. “What are you doing with that disgusting worm?” asked his teacher.

      “We were playing outside and I thought I’d show him my kindergarten.” the student replied.
    73. Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day? Student: I get up early.
    74. Teacher: I’ll be your teacher this year. Does anybody here know my name? Student: How do you like that? It’s only the first day of school and already we’re having a quiz.
    75. With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his. The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” she asked. “I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”
    76. It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him into the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. “Now,” he said, “are there any questions?” One girl stood up timidly. “Please, sir,” she asked, “may we have our teacher back?”
    77. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions.
    78. What is the difference between a school bus driver and a cold?… One knows the roads and one stops the nose!
    79. Teacher: Name four members of the cat family. Student: Mother, father, sister and brother.
    80. Son: I won a prize in kindergarten today. The teacher asked me how many legs a hippopotamus had. I said three. Father: Three? How on earth did you win the prize? Son: I came the closest.
    81. Teacher: If this class doesn’t stop making so much noise I’ll go crazy? Class: Too late, we haven’t made a sound for an hour!
    82. I show up at the beginning of each school year with a full pencil box and an empty head.
    83. Mother: How was your first day at school? Son: It was all right except for some man called “Teacher” who kept spoiling all our fun!
    84. Son: I’m not going back to school tomorrow! Father: Why not? Son: Well I’ve been there a whole day, I can’t read, I can’t write and they won’t let me talk, so what’s the use?
    85. What’s yellow, has wheels and lies on its back?… A dead school bus!
    86. One of my classmates gets carried away. He shows up for the first day of school each year with a smiling face and three pack mules of school supplies.
    87. Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.”
    88. Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.
    89. Mother: Now these new clothes are expensive. I don’t want you coming home from school that first week with a hole in the knee. Son: Okay, Mom, where would you like the hole?
    90. I don’t know how my Mom does it, but she even buys shoelaces that are out of style.
    91. Friend: My teacher this year is Mrs. Wright. They say she rules the first grade with an iron fist. Other Friend: I believe it. That’s the way she plays the piano at school assemblies.
    92. Mother: I want to help you pick out your new school outfits because I want you to buy clothes that last. Son: Mom, the clothes you pick out will last forever because I’m never going to wear them.
    93. What is the first thing a little gorilla learns in school?… The Ape B C’s.
    94. Some kids enjoy buying school supplies. To me, it’s like buying your own dental instruments.
    95. Mother: What’s wrong with the new clothes I bought you? They’re indestructible. Son: So is a Sherman tank, Mom, but I wouldn’t wear it to school.
    96. Moms like to buy “sensible” clothing. That’s the kind that they only sell in the “Junior Nerd” department.
    97. I buy pencils with an eraser at both ends. That’s so I can make sure I don’t make the same mistake twice.
    98. I love school supplies. If only there were some other place we could use them besides school.
    99. Mother: Now those are the kinds of clothes I wish I could have worn when I was in school. Daughter: They were probably in style back then.
    100. My grandparents buy me so many school supplies for the first day of school that I have to take the first two weeks off just to sharpen pencils.
    101. There’s one good thing about the first day of school. When it’s over; you’re one day closer to the last day of school.
    102. Mother: There now, young man, I think that outfit is absolutely perfect. Son: Mom, it’s the first day of school; not a Pee Wee Herman look alike contest.
    103. Show me a kid who likes the first day at school and I’ll show you a kid who likes to get his lip caught under a manhole cover.
  • Top 10 Massachusetts Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelTutoringSportsMusic and College.

    1. Tea JokesAmerica: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the Boston Harbor!
    2. Tea JokesAmerica: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the Boston Harbor!
    3. What did the Revolutionary leader say at the meeting?… “Let’s ‘concord’ our differences and move forward!”
    4. How did the Massachusetts colonists stay warm during winter?… They had a lot of “Mass” appeal with their cozy blankets!
    5. Tea Jokes: HAPPY FOURH OF JULY Looking for the T?… It’s in Boston Harbor.
    6. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle!
    7. Why did Paul Revere ride at midnight?… He wanted to avoid the morning rush hour!
    8. Why was the Minuteman always calm under pressure?… He knew how to take things one “minute” at a time!
    9. Baseball Jokes: Why are people afraid of Fenway Park?… The big, bad Green Monster.
    10. Tea Jokes: What did the colonist say when he found a great deal on tea?… I’m Boston this bargain!
  • When is April School Vacation in Massachusetts?

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    When is April Vacation?

    1. 2025: (Good) Friday, April 18th – Sunday, April 27th (10 Days)

    April vacation in Massachusetts always falls during the week of Patriots Day, the 3rd Monday in October. April vacation spend two weekends in five school days. Some years Good Friday may fall the week before Patriots Day, so there will be an additional vacation.

    In Massachusetts, Patriots’ Day is a state holiday that celebrates “the shot heard ’round the world,” the battle of Lexington in Concord, which was the start of the American Revolutionary War. So in reality, Patriots’ Day is not a school vacation day, it is a state holiday which would be observed with or without school vacation.

    April vacation is a big milestone. Teachers, educators and students, you’re entering the homestretch of the school year. You can do this.

    Good Luck! Keep Working!

  • American Revolutionary War Jokes

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    Google Search “American Revolutionary War Jokes”

    1. American Revolution Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best American Revolution jokes.
    2. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Nota… Nota who?… Not America because freedom rings!
    3. American Revolution Knock Knock Jokes: How come there’s no Knock Knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings.
    4. Tea Jokes: What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
    5. Tea Jokes: America: Hey England, Happy Fourh of July! England: Where’s the T? America: Threw it in the Boston Harbor!
    6. Teacher: “More than 250 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
    7. Paul Revere and his late night ride with his horse… A night mare for King George III and the British.
    8. What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
    9. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War? Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
    10. Tea Jokes: The Boston Tea Party was on December 16, 1773. It must have been cold… Was that the 1st time there was Iced Tea?
    11. Army Jokes: What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
    12. Ghost Jokes: What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
    13. Geography Jokes: What is a geography teacher’s favorite site on the Freedom Trail?… The Old NORTH Church.
    14. Flag Day Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name how many stars are in the original United States flag? (13)
    15. What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
    16. Pennsylvania Jokes: The Philadelphia 76ers, The New England Revolution, The New England Patriots… The official sports teams of the American Revolution.
    17. 4th of July Quiz: Do they have a 4th of July in England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. 
    18. Tea Jokes: What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
    19. Tea Jokes: What do you call a Boston Tea Party joke?… A brew-ha-ha!
    20. What do you call a patriot who’s always on time?… A minute man.
    21. Pennsylvania Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up!
    22. Geography Jokes: What is a geography teacher’s favorite spot in Concord, Massachusetts and site of a famous battle during the Revolutionary War?… The Old NORTH Bridge.
    23. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
    24. Army Jokes: Where did General Washington put his armies?… In his sleevies!
    25. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
    26. Tea Jokes: British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the 4th of July…. When really the only thing that went overboard was their tea.
    27. What did Samuel Adams say to his beer?… You’re the ‘ale’-iance we need.
    28. Doctor Jokes: Why did John Adams go to the doctor?… He had a bad case of independence-itis.
    29. Army Jokes: Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette.
    30. Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.
    31. Art Jokes: What do you call an AWESOME American Revolution drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy!
    32. Tea Jokes: Why was the Boston Tea Party so popular?… Because it was steeped in history!
    33. Flag Day Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the person who designed the 1st American Flag! (Betsy Ross)
    34. Tea Jokes: Why did the British soldiers go to therapy?… They couldn’t handle the constant “tea”-sing from the American patriots!
    35. Flag Day Jokes: Which flag is the most highly rated?… The American flag. It has 50 stars!
    36. 4th of July Jokes: The Fourth of July weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she said. “One of the things we should be happy about is that, in this country, we are all free.” One little boy came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m four.”
    37. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti jello.
    38. What is the weight of freedom?… A washing-ton.
    39. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… On the bottom!
    40. Why did the colonists love gardening?… They were always planting seeds of rebellion!
    41. Ocean Jokes: Why did the British cross the Atlantic in the 1770s?… To get to the other tide!
    42. Patriots Day Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that celebrates the Battle of Lexington & Concord?
    43. Why were the first Americans like ants?… They lived in colonies.
    44. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the 1st person to sign the Declaration of Independence! (John Hancock)
    45. What did Benjamin Franklin say when he invented bifocals?… Now I can see both sides of the argument!
    46. What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion!
    47. Star Wars Jokes: What did Luke Skywalker say on Independence Day?… May the Fourth be with!
    48. 4th of July Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Ray… Ray who?… Raymember the founding father’s on Independence Day!
    49. Army Jokes: Why was George Washington such a good general?… He never lost his head in battle—literally or figuratively!
    50. Fireworks Jokes: Who has to work on the 4th of July?… Fire works.
    51. How did Benjamin Franklin feel about electricity?… Shocked, but positively charged!
    52. Tea Jokes: What’s the most patriotic drink?… Liber-tea, of course.
    53. Tea Jokes: What kind of tea did the colonists throw into Boston Harbor?… Liberty tea!
    54. Dog Jokes: Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?… Bone Franklin.
    55. Pencil Jokes: Why did the patriots always carry a pencil?… They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
    56. 4th of July Jokes: It’s July 4th… Happy Ind -pun- dance Day!
    57. Teacher: “How did the Founding Fathers decide on our country’s flag?” Student: “I guess they took a flag poll!”
    58. Patriots Day Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you name the Massachusetts holiday that coincides with the Boston Marathon? (Patriots Day)
    59. Pencil Jokes: Why did the colonists always carry a pencil?… They wanted to draw their own conclusions!
    60. Christmas Jokes: Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?… Aretha Franklin.
    61. What sport is played on Independence Day?… American Flag Football.
    62. 4th of July Jokes: On July 4th, what did the ghost say?… Red, white, and boo!
    63. Ocean Jokes: Why did the colonists go to the ocean?… To sea freedom.
    64. 4th of July Jokes: Do you love Inde – pun – dance day puns?
    65. Pennsylvania Jokes: I tried to make a joke about the Liberty Bell… but it cracked up.
    66. Tea Jokes: What did one colonist say to the other during the Boston Tea Party?… “This is steep!”
    67. What are the most patriotic flowers?… Yankee Doodle Dandylions.
    68. Pennsylvania Jokes: Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians!
    69. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert
    70. Cat Jokes: What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere.
    71. Constitution Jokes: How is a person who never gets sick like the United States of America?… They both have great constitutions.
    72. Constitution Jokes: When we had a school trip to an aviary on Independence Day, we noticed that the ducks were given a certain inalienable right. Turns out, they had a duck-leration of independence.
    73. Tea Jokes: What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party.
    74. Tea Jokes: The Boston Tea Party was a real brew-ha-ha!
    75. Massachusetts Jokes: How do you describe a Massachusetts historian?… Someone who always “Mass-ters” the subject!
    76. Skeleton Jokes: Why didn’t the skeleton fight in the American Revolution?… Because he didn’t have the guts!
    77. Tea Jokes: Why did the colonists throw tea in the harbor?… Because it was brew-tal taxation!
    78. Tea Jokes: Which letter is the coolest every 4th of July?… An Iced T.
    79. Fireworks Jokes: What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?Fire crackers.
    80. Music Jokes: What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever!”
    81. Why did Benjamin Franklin feel shocked when he discovered electricity?… He had a real “current” event!
    82. What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?… The Indepen-dance!
    83. Massachusetts Jokes: The history teacher in Massachusetts said his lessons were Revolutionary!
    84. Tea Jokes: Why was tea so important to the American Revolution?… Because it brewed up some serious change!
    85. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler.
    86. How did the colonists react when they heard about the Stamp Act?… They licked it off and sent it back to England!
    87. Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?” Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”
    88. Grandparent Jokes: My great, great, great grandfather was a soldier and a patriot and in order to treat his wounds and scars he used revo-lotion.
    89. Tea Jokes: What did King George think of the Boston Tea Party?… He thought it was just a “tea-rrible” idea!
    90. What quacks, has webbed feet, and betrays his country?… Beneduck Arnold.
    91. How did Benjamin Franklin feel about discovering electricity?… Shocked, of course!
    92. Army Jokes: Why did the American soldiers bring their own snacks to battle during the American Revolution?… Because they didn’t want to go “continental” breakfast!
    93. World’s Best Basketball Jokes: The Philadelphia 76ers… The official NBA basketball team of the American Revolution.
    94. King Jokes: Why did the Sons of Liberty hate playing cards during the American Revolution?… Because every time they saw a King or a Queen, it reminded them of taxation without representation.
    95. Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    96. Flag Day Jokes: Why did the American flag break up with the British flag?… It felt like they were just going in circles.
    97. How did the Founding Fathers stay cool?… They always kept their ideas in the shade of liberty!
    98. Flag Day Jokes: What did the flag say to the pole?… “You’re a real stand-up guy!” 
    99. What was all the rage at the Colonists’ Cotillion of 1776?… Doing the Indepen-dance.
    100. What did the Patriots say to the British?… “You’re taxing our patience!”
    101. Vermont Jokes: Why did the American colonists go to the Vermont mountains?… To have a peak performance.
    102. Constitution Jokes: What did the Constitution say to the Bill of Rights?… “You complete me!”
    103. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping?… Because he couldn’t lie!
    104. Pennsylvania Jokes: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… At the bottom!
    105. What’s the difference between a duck and George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
    106. Flag Day Jokes: What did one flag say to another during the Revolution?… “Let’s wave goodbye to tyranny!”
    107. “It is assuredly better to go laughing than crying thro’ the rough journey of life.” George Washington
    108. Pennsylvania Jokes: What did the Liberty Bell say to the British?… You can’t bell-ieve we’re free.
    109. “As I have heard since my arrival at this place, a circumstantial account of my death and dying speech, I take this early opportunity of contradicting the first, and of assuring you, that I have not as yet composed the latter.” George Washington
    110. Pennsylvania Jokes: A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    111. Massachusetts Jokes: Why was the Minuteman always calm under pressure?… He knew how to take things one “minute” at a time!
    112. Fireworks Jokes: Why don’t firefighters get the Fourth of July off?… Because fire works.
    113. Great American Political Book Never Written: “How to Become President” by Paul O’Ticks. (Top Presidents’ Day Jokes)
    114. What do you call a person who can’t get enough of American Revolution history?… A Revoluti-nut!
    115. Massachusetts Jokes: The New England Revolution:.. The official MLS Soccer team of the American Revolution.
    116. Massachusetts Jokes: The New England Patriots… The official NFL team of the American Revolution.
    117. Barber Jokes: Why did the firecracker go to the hair salon?… It needed to trim its bangs.
    118. Tea Jokes: What did they serve at the Boston Tea Party after all that throwing?… A refreshing cup of freedom!
    119. Dad Jokes: What treat do dads like on the 4th of July?… POPsicles.
    120. What’s the official snack of the Declaration of Independence?… Poppycorn.
    121. What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin!
    122. Why does Uncle Sam wear red, white and blue suspenders?… To hold up his pants.
    123. Tea Jokes: What did the British soldiers say when they lost the war?… “This is just tea-rrible!”
    124. What was all the rage at the Colonists’ Cotillion of 1776?… Doing the Indepen-dance.
    125. What quacks, has a bill and shouldn’t be trusted?… Beneduck Arnold.
    126. Tea Jokes: How did the British respond to the American Revolution?… With tea-rritory loss!
    127. Why did the American colonists always bring a ladder to the revolution?… Because they wanted to rise to the occasion!
    128. Pennsylvania Jokes: Which American colonists told the most riddles?… Puns-ylvanians.
    129. 4th of July Jokes: What is the best sport to play on July 4th?… Flag football.
    130. Psychology Jokes: Why did King George III go to therapy?… He had a tax-ing problem.
    131. 4th of July Jokes: Since it’s the Fourth of July… let’s indepen-dance the night away!
    132. What did the American colonists say to British soldiers during the American Revolution?… We’re revolting!
    133. Grandparent Jokes: My great-grandfather fought with Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French and my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they?
    134. Delaware Jokes: What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!”
    135. What rooster signed the Declaration of Independence first?… John Hancock-a-doodle-doo.
    136. Psychology Jokes: Why did the liberty bell go to therapy?… Because it had some serious cracks in its life!
    137. George Washington never told a lie… except about how bad the winter at Valley Forge was.
    138. Massachusetts Jokes: What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
    139. Pennsylvania Jokes: What’s big, cracked, and carries your luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop!
    140. Tea Jokes: What did the American colonists say to the British tea?… Leaf us alone.
    141. Why did the American Revolution soldiers only fight in open fields?… Because they didn’t want to be “corn-nered” by the British!
    142. Army Jokes: What are the two main rules in the Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1
    143. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?… Yankee Doodler.
    144. Massachusetts Jokes: Why did the minute men bring their watches to battle?… So they could be on time for freedom!
    145. Pennsylvania Jokes: Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies.
    146. Tea Jokes: Why did the colonists refuse to drink British tea?… They found it too taxing!
    147. Pennsylvania Jokes: What famous pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock!
    148. 4th of July Jokes: Why shouldn’t there be knock-knock jokes on the 4th of July?… Because freedom rings.
    149. 4th of July Jokes: How did the unexpected guest greet his grilling host at the July 4th barbeque?… “Fancy meat-ing you here.”
    150. What gives birds certain inalienable rights?… The Ducklaration of Independence.
    151. Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?… At the chopping mall.
    152. Army Jokes: Why did George Washington’s troops go to the forest?… To have a tree-mendous victory.
    153. Music Jokes: Who loves singing the patriotic song that starts with, “Oh say, can you see?”… An optometrist
    154. Pennsylvania Jokes: Teacher: True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: False. It was written in ink. (Top Teacher Jokes
    155. Flag Day Jokes: Why did the American flag go to school?… To show its true colors!
    156. Tea Jokes: Why did the colonists wear tea-shirts to the Boston Tea Party?… Because they wanted to make a “brew-tiful” statement!
    157. 4th of July Jokes: What do you call a snowman on the 4th of July?… A puddle.
    158. 4th of July Jokes: Food, Family, Fourth of July, and Fireworks… The four best F words ever!
    159. Pennsylvania Jokes: Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?… A duck family, Because it had a qwack in it!
    160. Cheese Jokes: How do you know if a burger is patriotic?… It’s got that American cheese!
    161. Tea Jokes: What kind of tea did the American colonists really want?… Liberty.
    162. Why was King George III so bad at math?… Because he couldn’t count on his colonies!
    163. Why did King George III bring a ladder to the battle?… He wanted to take a high ground.
    164. Tea Jokes: What do you call a tea party that turns into a revolution?… A brew-ha-ha!
    165. Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the post office?… To send a revolution-ary letter.
    166. Pennsylvania Jokes: How did Thomas Jefferson feel after writing the Declaration of Independence?… Like he’d penned his best work.
    167. Massachusetts Jokes: What did Paul Revere say to his fellow riders?… Let’s horse around.
    168. 4th of July Jokes: Why did the hot dog go to the 4th of July party?… Because it heard it was buns of fun.
    169. Tea Jokes: Why did the colonists throw tea into the harbor?… Because they wanted to steep their independence!
    170. Music Jokes: What’s the American Revolution’s favorite type of music?… Rock and roll—it was all about breaking free!
    171. Army Jokes: Why did the Continental Army excel at math?… They knew how to handle their “revolutions!”
    172. 4th of July Jokes: What’s the favorite type of exercise on the Fourth of July?… The Freedom Run—everyone loves to celebrate by running away from the British!
    173. Pennsylvania Jokes: The British didn’t expect the revolution to go viral… they should’ve read the Declaration of Independence’s terms and conditions.
    174. What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed?… The Fodder of Our Country!
    175. Tea Jokes: What did one tea bag say to another during the protest?… “Let’s steep this thing up!”
    176. How is the American flag like Santa Claus?… They both hang out at the pole! (Christmas TriviaChristmas Jokes)
    177. Pennsylvania Jokes: Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Top 10 Easter Jokes)
    178. Tea Jokes: Why was everyone so excited about the Boston Tea Party?… It was the original “tea-rrific” event!
    179. Why was eagle hunting prohibited in America?… Because it was ill-eagle.
    180. Dog Jokes: What do you get if you cross a patriotic American with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle.
    181. Massachusetts Jokes: What did Paul Revere say to his horse?… Giddyup, we have a revolution to start.
    182. Why did George Washington’s troops go to the party?… To have a revolution-ary time.
    183. Massachusetts Jokes: Why did Paul Revere ride at midnight?… He wanted to avoid the morning rush hour!
    184. Massachusetts Jokes: What did the Revolutionary leader say at the meeting?… “Let’s ‘concord’ our differences and move forward!”
    185. Pennsylvania Jokes: Why did Thomas Jefferson bring a pillow to the Continental Congress?… He wanted to have a soft declaration.
    186. Barber Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a colonial hairpiece with a teepee?… A powdered wigwam!
    187. Tea Jokes: The American Revolution wasn’t just about freedom… it was also a major tea spill.
    188. Flag Day Jokes: Why did the American flag go to school?… To get its stripes in history.
    189. The World’s Best Basketball Jokes: Why was the American Revolution like a basketball game?… Because the Americans were always “shooting” for independence!
    190. 4th of July Jokes: What do you eat on the 5th of July?… Independence Day old macaroni salad.
    191. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… Right at the bottom of the page.
    192. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!.
    193. Flag Day Jokes: What did one American flag say to the other flag?….. Nothing. It just waved!
    194. Why did Benjamin Franklin fly his kite?… To get a shocking view of the British.
    195. Tea Jokes: How did the colonists celebrate after the Boston Tea Party?… With a big “brew-haha” bash!
    196. Flag Day Jokes: Which flag has the highest Yelp rating?… The U.S. flag. It has 50 stars!
    197. Massachusetts Jokes: Paul Revere’s horse was always ahead of the curve… He knew when to hoof it.
    198. Christmas Jokes: What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for England?… Rudolph the Redcoat Reindeer! 
    199. Dog Jokes: What do you get when you cross a patriot with a dog?… A Yankee doodle dandy!
    200. Delaware Jokes: What did George Washington say when crossing the Delaware?… “Row, row, row your boat… quietly.”
    201. Massachusetts Jokes: How did the Massachusetts colonists stay warm during winter?… They had a lot of “Mass” appeal with their cozy blankets!
    202. Massachusetts Jokes: What did Paul Revere say at the Boston Tea Party?… “The British are coming, and they’re bringing crumpets!”
    203. Massachusetts Jokes: Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry!
    204. Massachusetts Jokes: What do you call a well-informed Massachusetts resident?… A Mass-ive history buff!
    205. Fireworks Jokes: What did the little firecracker say to the big firecracker?… Hi, Pop!
    206. Tea Jokes: What do you call a revolution where everyone brings their own tea bags?… A brew-haha!
    207. Tea Jokes: What’s a revolutionary’s favorite drink?… Tea with a side of liberty!
    208. Flag Day Jokes: What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad candy cane! 
    209. What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam after a boxing match.
    210. Fireworks Jokes: What should people never eat on July 4th?… Fire crackers.
    211. Flag Day Jokes: What do the American flag and a sad candy cane have in common?… They’re both red, white and blue.
    212. What’s red, white, blue and a little green?… Uncle Sam when he’s sea sick.
    213. Flag Day Jokes: Why did the American flag go to the doctor?… Because it had a few stripes.
    214. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic turtle!
    215. Massachusetts Jokes: What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle!
    216. Fireworks Jokes: What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker.
    217. Tea Jokes: Why did the American colonists want liberty?… Because they couldn’t handle the tea-rrible taxes!
    218. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree?… Because it was a “root” cause of his honesty!
    219. Fireworks Jokes: What do fireworks eat at a picnic?… Hot dogs and hamburgers, of course!
    220. What’s red, white, black and blue?… Uncle Sam falling down the stairs.
    221. 4th of July Jokes: How do most Americans spend 4th of July weekend?… Stuck in traffic.
    222. What would you get if you crossed an idiot with Yankee Doodle?… Yankee Doofus!
    223. Music Jokes: What’s a Revolutionary War soldier’s favorite type of music?… Anything with a good “beat!”
    224. The British thought they’d win the war… but the colonists gave them the independence treatment.
    225. Tea Jokes: What do you call a British soldier who loves tea?… A loyalist steeped in tradition!
    226. What did George Washington say to his spies?… Keep it on the down ‘low’.
    227. What’s red, white, blue and green? A seasick Uncle Sam.
    228. Book Jokes: Why did Thomas Jefferson go to the library?… To declare his love for books.
    229. Why did the American eagle land on the dollar bill?… Because it’s a bird of prey.
    230. Tea Jokes: The British army loved tea… but they couldn’t handle our revolu-tea-on!
    231. Tea Jokes: Why didn’t the colonists invite King George to their tea party?… Because he always brought too much baggage!
    232. New York Jokes: What did the Statue of Liberty say to the New Year’s Eve ball?… “You’re looking a little down tonight!”
    233. Flag Day Jokes: Why was the American flag always so happy?…. Because it had so many stars in its eyes!
    234. Tea Jokes: What did the British say when they heard about the Boston Tea Party?… “This is a steep price to pay!”
    235. Tea Jokes: How did the colonists feel after throwing all that tea away?… They were feeling a bit “brewed” up!
    236. What’s the most patriotic dessert?… Apple pie—because it’s made in the USA!
    237. Tea Jokes: What did the colonist say when he found a great deal on tea?… I’m Boston this bargain!
    238. Why did Patrick Henry bring a turkey to the revolution?… To have a fowl temper.
    239. Tea Jokes: What did King George think of the Boston Tea Party?… He thought it was just a “tea-rrible” idea!
    240. Tea Jokes: Why did everyone want to be at the Boston Tea Party?… Because it was a real “tea-rrific” time!
    241. Why did the American Revolution feel like a sitcom?… Because there were plenty of “Liberty” episodes!
    242. Dog Jokes: What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
    243. What’s red, white, blue, and green?… A patriotic pickle.
    244. Teacher: “What do you know that has stars and stripes?” Student: “A movie about a zebra!” (Top Teacher Jokes)
    245. What is red, white, blue, and yellow?… A star-spangled banana.
    246. Why did the colonists love their new country?… Because it was in-dependable.
    247. How did the colonists feel about taxes?… They found them very taxing!
    248. Tea Jokes: Why did the British army wear red coats?… So they could blend in with their tea stains!
    249. What do you call a loyalist who loves puns?… A loyal pun-dit!
    250. Delaware Jokes: What did George Washington say when he crossed the Delaware River?… “I’m going to make this crossing great again!”
    251. Tea Jokes: Why did the Boston tea party never run out of drinks?… Because they had plenty of “brew”-tality!
    252. Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree with his hatchet?… Because his mom wouldn’t let him use the chainsaw.
    253. Delaware Jokes: What did Washington say as he crossed the Delaware?… ”Next time I’m going to reserve a seat!”
    254. What do you call a British soldier who can’t stop telling jokes?… A pun-dit!
    255. What did George Washington say to his spies?… Keep it on the down ‘low’.
    256. Flag Day Jokes: What did the American flag say to the British flag?… I’ve got stars in my eyes for freedom!
    257. Flag Day Jokes: What did the Massachusetts flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved!
    258. Tea Jokes: What did King George III say when he heard about the Boston Tea Party?… I guess they really don’t like our brew!
    259. Why did the American colonists go to the mountains?… To have a peak performance.
    260. Army Jokes: The Continental Army didn’t need Wi-Fi—they had great connections with France.
    261. Why don’t we celebrate King George’s birthday?… He didn’t want to lose the party.
    262. Delaware Jokes: Why was George Washington a great leader?… He always knew how to cross the Delaware without a hitch!
    263. Ocean Jokes: What’s a red, white, and blue jellyfish’s favorite holiday?… Independence Day, of course—because it’s jelly for freedom!
    264. New York Jokes: What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… Because she can’t sit down.
    265. King Jokes: Why did the British soldiers hate playing cards during the American Revolution?… Because every time they saw a King or a Queen, it reminded them of the colonists!
    266. Why did the British soldiers wear red coat?… So they could hide in the tomatoes.
    267. Tea Jokes: Why did the colonists throw their tea into the harbor?… Because they couldn’t hold their tea!
    268. Tea Jokes: Why did the colonists throw so much tea overboard?… They wanted to make a splash for independence!
    269. Why did everyone love attending Revolutionary War reenactments?… Because they were always full of action and drama!
    270. Why did the British soldiers wear red?… To make the colonists see red.
    271. Tea Jokes: Why did the Boston tea party get out of hand?… Because everyone was just trying to brew up some fun!
    272. Why did the British army always lose battles in the American Revolution?… They couldn’t handle all the colonial puns!
    273. Why did the British wear red?… So they could always stop—drop—and retreat.
    274. Flag Day Jokes: What did the American flag say to the other flag?… Nothing, it just waved.
    275. Dinosaur Jokes: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with fireworks?… Dino-mite!
    276. Why was the math book sad about history class?… It knew it couldn’t count on the past!
    277. Fireworks Jokes: “My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.” Friend: “Is he all right now?”…. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard the last report.”
    278. Fireworks Jokes: What did one firecracker say to the other?… My pop’s bigger than yours!
    279. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the bald eagle start a business?… Because he wanted to soar to new heights!
    280. What’s the American motto at the beach?… “Liberty, freedom, and sunscreen for all!”
    281. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the bald eagle apply for a job?… Because it needed to make some soaring income!
    282. Fireworks Jokes: Why did the fireworks fail their math test?… They were too busy exploding with excitement!
    283. Barber Jokes: Why did the American bald eagle go to the barber?… Because it wanted a new haircut.
    284. How did the Revolutionary War soldier keep his spirits up?… He always found a way to keep things patri-otic!
    285. 4th of July Jokes: How do pandas stay cool on Independence Day?… They use bear conditioning.
    286. Flag Day Jokes: What did one flag say to another during the American Revolution?… “I’m really flagging, can you give me a hand?”
    287. What do you call a lazy American?… A couch potato.
    288. What do you call an American who loves to eat?… A foodie from the USA.
    289. Why did the American colonists love their sandwiches?… Because they always had a little patriot-ty in every bite!
    290. Why did the American colonists refuse to play cards?… Because they didn’t want to be dealt a bad hand in history! 
    291. Why was the Declaration of Independence so confident?… Because it knew it had a lot of signatures backing it up!
    292. Music Jokes: What’s a patriot’s favorite type of music?… Revolution-ary tunes!
    293. Why did the revolutionaries love their flags? Because they always had a lot of star power!
    294. Tea Jokes: Why did the American colonists bring a ladder to the Boston Tea Party?… Because they wanted to reach new heights of rebellion!
    295. Constitution Jokes: What did the founding fathers say when they finished drawing up the Constitution?… “That’s a founding piece of work!”
    296. What’s a patriot’s favorite dessert?… Liberty pie!
    297. Why did the British soldiers get lost during the revolution?… Because they kept taking the wrong colonies!
    298. How do you know the revolution was a big deal?… Even the history books take sides! 
    299. Pennsylvania Jokes: What did the Liberty Bell say when it rang?… “I’m ringing in the new freedom!” 
    300. Why did the colonists love their hats?… Because they were top of the Plymouth fashion! 
    301. Constitution Jokes: What did the founding fathers say after a successful meeting?… “That’s a constitutional accomplishment!” 
    302. President Jokes: What’s George Washington’s favorite type of music?… The founding rock!
    303. President Jokes:Why did Thomas Jefferson write so many letters?… Because he loved to keep a good letter-ature!  
    304. President Jokes:Why did John Adams always carry a quill?… To make sure every word was presidential!  
    305. Why did George Washington cross the Delaware?… To get to the pun-side.
    306. What did the redcoat say at the bakery?… “I’d like a Boston cream pie… without the revolution, please.”
    307. Why was the Liberty Bell so popular?… It always knew how to “ring” in the truth.
    308. Why was Paul Revere always so loud?… Because he couldn’t hold his liberty.
    309. What do you call a fight between two colonies?… A tea-off.
    310. Why did the colonist take a ladder to the war?… He wanted to rise up.
    311. What did King George say when he stubbed his toe?… “No taxation without explanation!”
    312. Why was the Liberty Bell so noisy?… It had a crack-up.
    313. What do you call a British soldier who tells jokes?… A pun-coat.
    314. Why did the Declaration of Independence break up with the king?… It needed more space.
    315. Why was the Continental Army so good at hide-and-seek?… Because they had Washington behind them.
    316. What’s a redcoat’s favorite game?… Capture the flag… badly.
    317. Why did Ben Franklin bring a kite to war?… He wanted a shock win.
    318. What do you call it when colonists danced? … The Boston Tea Party.
    319. Why did the musket fail its test?… It kept firing blanks.
    320. How did the colonists win so many battles?… They had a revolution in thinking.
    321. What did the drummer boy say at breakfast?… “These eggs need a snare.”
    322. Why don’t redcoats write good stories?… They always lose the plot.
    323. Why was the cannon so tired?… It had too many rounds.
    324. What did the soldier use to keep time?… A minute-man watch.
    325. Why did the map get in trouble?… It showed too much resistance.
    326. What did the flag say to the wind?… “Stop pushing me around, I’m independent now!”
    327. Why did the horse join the army?… It wanted to be part of the cal-laugh-ry.
    328. Why couldn’t the quill write anymore?… It had no ink-dependence.
    329. What’s a patriot’s favorite kind of joke?… One with a real revolution twist.
    330. The redcoats lost because they didn’t blend in—too flashy.
    331. George Washington never told lies, but he sure told good jokes.
    332. The Boston Tea Party wasn’t a real party, but it sure stirred things up.
    333. The Liberty Bell cracked from laughing too hard.
    334. Paul Revere’s horse was fast—he had to gallop through history.
    335. King George wanted control, but the colonies wanted punchlines.
    336. The British wore red so the jokes wouldn’t see them blush.
    337. A musket never laughs… but it always fires back.
    338. The Declaration of Independence was signed with a smile.
    339. The colonists didn’t throw shade—they threw tea.
    340. Freedom tastes better than British biscuits.
    341. Ben Franklin flew a kite and sparked up comedy.
    342. The soldiers marched, but their jokes ran wild.
    343. The American flag waves because it’s always in on the joke.
    344. Minute Men—because their punchlines are quick.
    345. The Revolution was loud, but the laughs were louder.
    346. Why follow orders when you can follow a punchline?
    347. The battle drums kept time—and told dad jokes.
    348. Even muskets need a break from all the booms and jokes.
    349. Tea was spilled, but the jokes were steeped just right.
    350. Why did the redcoat eat crayons? He wanted to taste victory.
    351. What did George Washington name his dog? Bark for Freedom.
    352. Why did Paul Revere love bedtime? He liked to gallop into dreams.
    353. Why did the colonists draw with pencils? They wanted to sketch out freedom.
    354. What do you call tea that tells jokes? Giggli-tea.
    355. Why did the soldier carry string? To tie up loose ends.
    356. What’s a patriot’s favorite snack? Freedom fries.
    357. Why did the drum go to school? To beat the test.
    358. What did the cannon say to the ball? “Let’s roll!”
    359. Why was the quill always smiling? It got to write happy endings.
    360. Why did the flag bring sunglasses? Because it was too bright with pride.
    361. Why don’t redcoats like jokes? They can’t take a laugh.
    362. What did Ben Franklin say when he saw lightning? “Shocking!”
    363. Why did the horses join the parade? They liked to march in style.
    364. What did the map say to the compass? “You point me in the right way.”
    365. Why did the patriots wear hats? To tip them to freedom.
    366. Why did the musket blush? It saw the battle plans. W
    367. hat did the feather say to the ink? “Let’s make history.”
    368. Why was the tea party on a boat? Because history floats.
    369. What do redcoats do when they fall? Wave a white giggle.
    370. Why did the letter take a ride? It had a message to deliver.
    371. What did the boot say to the ground? “Let’s march together.”
    372. Why did the bell ring early? It couldn’t hold in the fun.
    373. What did the coat say to the button? “Hold tight—it’s war time.”
    374. Why was the star on the flag happy? It got to shine for freedom.
    375. The Boston Tea Party started because someone couldn’t find a tea bag.
    376. George Washington knew how to lead—and how to drop punchlines.
    377. Redcoats wore bright uniforms so they couldn’t sneak in a joke.
    378. The Declaration of Independence was history’s first burn letter.
    379. King George thought he was funny—nobody laughed in the colonies.
    380. Ben Franklin shocked more than keys with his sense of humor.
    381. Minute Men were always on time—for battles and punchlines.
    382. The Liberty Bell had a crack, but its timing was perfect.
    383. Paul Revere’s ride was the first midnight comedy special. “No taxation without laughter,” said the class clown patriot.
    384. Redcoats marched in lines because zig-zags made them dizzy.
    385. The musket didn’t jam—it just had stage fright.
    386. Colonists brewed freedom and spilled jokes.
    387. A revolution isn’t complete without a few witty rebels.
    388. Franklin didn’t just discover electricity—he sparked sarcasm.
    389. The soldiers carried more puns than powder.
    390. Tea was dumped because it was steeped in drama.
    391. The quill pen was sharp—in both ink and wit.
    392. Horses ran faster when hearing Ben Franklin’s dad jokes.
    393. The stamp tax had people licking envelopes and burning bridges.
    394. The battlefield was tense—until someone cracked a joke. A bayonet is sharp, but a pun can cut deeper.
    395. George crossed the Delaware just to get away from awkward silence.
    396. The stars on the flag shine brighter after a clever joke.
    397. Freedom was earned—with bravery, brains, and a few punchlines.
    398. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Redcoat. Redcoat who? Redcoat your door—I’m here for tea!
    399. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ben. Ben who? Ben waiting for freedom! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tea. Tea who? Tea-rific day to dump some in the harbor!
    400. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Liberty. Liberty who? Liberty your jokes are too funny!
    401. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Drum. Drum who? Drum up some laughs—it’s war time! Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paul. Paul who? Paul the horses—I’m telling a joke!
    402. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Flag. Flag who? Flag me down if I get too silly.
    403. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Minute. Minute who? Minute I tell this joke, you’ll laugh!
    404. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bell. Bell who? Bell me out, I lost the battle!
    405. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Freedom. Freedom who? Freedom fries or freedom jokes?
    406. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cannon. Cannon who? Cannon I tell my joke now?
    407. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Revere. Revere who? Revere the laugh—I worked hard on it!
    408. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Quill. Quill who? Quill you let me finish the joke? Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tax. Tax who? Tax me later—I’m busy laughing!
    409. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Battle. Battle who? Battle tell you later—it’s a surprise!
    410. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Army. Army who? Army gonna make you laugh?
    411. Knock, knock. Who’s there? George. George who? George you glad I brought my sword?
    412. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coat. Coat who? Coat you believe how funny I am?
    413. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ink. Ink who? Ink you very much for the giggle!
    414. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Hats. Hats who? Hats off to your history jokes!
    415. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Horse. Horse who? Horse you glad it’s not a redcoat?
    416. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stars. Stars who? Stars shining bright like a patriot’s laugh!
    417. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Rebel. Rebel who? Rebel-y loud laugh, huh?
    418. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boot. Boot who? Boot time you laughed at my joke!
    419. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Yankee. Yankee who? Yankee doodle laughed too!
    420. Why did the flag go to school? To brush up on its stripes.
    421. My dad said he’d join the redcoats, but he didn’t like the uniform.
    422. Why did George Washington never lie? He didn’t want to axe questions.
    423. My dad said the Liberty Bell cracked because it couldn’t handle his jokes.
    424. Why did the tea feel unwanted? It got dumped.
    425. Ben Franklin was shocked—by jokes and lightning.
    426. What did the hat say to the soldier? “I’m on top of things.”
    427. My dad says he’s like Paul Revere—always repeating himself.
    428. Why don’t redcoats play hide-and-seek? They always stand out.
    429. What did the musket say after a long day? “I’m shot.”
    430. Why did the map break up with the compass? It lost direction.
    431. Dad said he’d cross the Delaware—if the snacks were better.
    432. What’s a soldier’s favorite color? Rebel red.
    433. Why did the cannon take a nap? It needed a reload.
    434. What did the feather write? A dad joke, probably.
    435. Why did the stars on the flag feel proud? They were on point.
    436. Dad said freedom is like his jokes—loud and often confusing.
    437. Why did the redcoat trip? He lost his footing in the punchline.
    438. Dad said the only thing more powerful than a cannon is his puns.
    439. Why did the patriots refuse to play cards? They didn’t want to deal with taxes.
    440. Why did the cannon go to therapy? It had too much pressure.
    441. What did the Continental Army say to the redcoats? “You’re out of line!”
    442. Why was the flag always so positive? It waved at everything.
    443. How did the colonists prefer their tea? Free!
    444. What did the British soldier say to his friend? “Let’s stick together—like musket and powder!”
    445. Why did the soldiers carry paper? They were looking for a “note”worthy battle.
    446. Why don’t battles ever go smoothly? Because someone always trips over their bayonet!
    447. What’s a patriot’s favorite dance move? The liberty shuffle!
    448. Why did the Continental Army love jokes? They were good at stirring up a revolution of laughter.
    449. What did the redcoat call a quick retreat? A fast march away from home.
    450. Why did the drums sound so happy? They loved a good beat.
    451. What’s the Revolution’s favorite dessert? A Freedom pie!
    452. Why was the tea so good at telling stories? It always had a steep plot.
    453. What did the colonists wear to the party? A “revolutionary” outfit!
    454. Why did the soldiers bring a pencil to battle? To draw their weapons.
    455. What did George Washington call a good day? “Just another day in the revolution.”
    456. Why did the redcoat go to the comedy show? He wanted to see the “pun”ishment!
    457. What do flags do when they’re happy? They wave!
    458. Why did the British soldiers stop eating? They couldn’t handle the colonial snacks!
    459. What did the musket say after a long day? “That’s enough shots for today.”
    460. Why did the battle drums never get bored? They were always pounding away.
    461. What’s a patriot’s favorite sport? Freedom frisbee!
    462. Why didn’t the Continental Army play cards? They couldn’t deal with a bad hand.
    463. Why did the liberty bell get a good grade? It rang in knowledge!
    464. Why did the Continental Army bring pencils to the battle? To draw their swords!
    465. What did George Washington wear to school? His “Revolutionary” uniform.
    466. Why did the flag go to the principal’s office? It was caught “waving” in class!
    467. Why do redcoats never pass notes in class? They always get caught red-handed.
    468. What did the teacher say to the student with a musket? “You need to keep your arms down!”
    469. Why did the patriot refuse to sit in the back of the classroom? He wanted to stay in the front of the revolution!
    470. What do you call a colonial student who loves to tell jokes? A class “rebel”!
    471. Why was the American Revolution like a big test? You had to give it your best shot.
    472. What did the Liberty Bell do during class? It rang out with excitement!
    473. Why did the students think the redcoats were bad at math? They couldn’t “divide” properly!
    474. What did the teacher say about the students’ quiz? “That’s a revolutionary answer!”
    475. Why was the history book always happy? It was full of “amazing” facts!
    476. What did the Continental Army use to write notes? A “quill” pen!
    477. Why didn’t the musket like sitting in class? It was always too “fired up”!
    478. What did the redcoat say when he failed the test? “I guess I’ll just have to retreat!”
    479. Why do flags make great students? They’re always on top of things.
    480. Why did George Washington bring a dictionary to the battle? He wanted to know the “meaning” of freedom.
    481. What did the teacher say about the class project on the Revolution? “You’ve really ‘crossed’ the line on this one!”
    482. Why did the students at the Continental Army school always get A’s? They had “revolutionary” grades!
    483. What’s the best way to pass the history test? “Revolt” against the wrong answers!
    484. Why did the musket get a job? It was ready to “fire” up the revolution.
    485. What did the Continental Army call their favorite band? The “Liberty” Belles.
    486. Why did George Washington bring a pencil to the battle? He wanted to “draw” his sword.
    487. How do you make a flag laugh? Give it a good “wave”!
    488. Why did the redcoats love music? They were always looking for a “good” beat.
    489. What’s the Revolutionary War’s favorite type of humor? “Colonial” comedy!
    490. Why don’t flags ever get lost? They always know which way to “wave”.
    491. What did the teacher say about the flag? “It’s always raising the stakes!”
    492. Why don’t soldiers ever tell secrets? Because they can’t keep things under “wraps”.
    493. How do you make a redcoat smile? Just “tax” them with a good joke.
    494. Why did the Continental Army play cards? They loved a “revolutionary” hand.
    495. What did Paul Revere say to his horse?… “Let’s get moving, we’ve got a long night to “ride” out!”
    496. Why did the revolutionaries throw tea in the harbor?… They were making a “steep” decision.
    497. How did the revolutionaries write their notes?… With “freedom” of penmanship!
    498. Why don’t redcoats make good comedians?… They always get “caught” in their punchlines.
    499. Why do flags always look so cheerful?… They know how to “wave” through life.
    500. Why was the American Revolution so loud?… There were too many “booms” and “bangs”!
    501. Why do soldiers never play hide-and-seek?… They can’t ever stay “hidden” for long!
    502. How did the Continental Army stay organized?… They always had a good “plan of attack”.
    503. What did the soldiers bring to the comedy show?… A lot of “firepower” for laughs!
    504. Why did the drums at the battle sound so good?… They had the perfect “beat” for revolution.
    505. What did the rebels say to the British?… “You’re just here for the “tax” purposes!”
    506. Why was George Washington’s joke always funny?… Because it was “revolutionary”!
    507. Why didn’t the redcoats like their new uniforms?… They felt “out of line”!
      Founding Fathers Jokes for History Enthusiasts

     

  • Skiing Jokes

    101 Skiing Jokes

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about skiing.
    2. Say what you want about skiing… ..but the sports going downhill, FAST! 
    3. I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast.
    4. Psychology Jokes: A psychotherapist returned from a conference in the Rocky mountains, where the delegates spent more time on the icy ski slopes than attending lectures and seminars. When she got back, her husband asked her, “So, how did it go?” “Fine,” she replied, “but I’ve never seen so many Freudians slip.”
    5. When I went to France to learn how to ski… I even needed Alp getting on the chairlift.
    6. Music Jokes: What is the #1 song for ski instructors?… Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds. 
    7. Ski Pun: I’m going down this hill like there’s snow tomorrow. 
    8. I was at a ski resort for a #psychiatry convention… I’ve never seen so many Freudians slips. 
    9. To ski or not to ski… that’s a no-brainer. 
    10. What do skiers like most about school?… Snow and tell. 
    11. If you are going to try cross-country skiing… start with a small country. 
    12. Music Jokes: What is a great U2 song for skiing?… Put on Your Boots. 
    13. On a Chair Loft: Skier #1 “Where are we going next run?” Skier #1 “Down, I think.” 
    14. Ski Pun: Don’t get into skiing… It’s a slippery slope. 
    15. What do skiers use to correct their mistakes?… Whiteout. 
    16. Terrific Teacher Jokes: I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit… It was downhill from there. 
    17. I recently got very addicted to skiing… My doctor told me I’m going down a slippery slope. 
    18. Daughter: “Dad, why is my sister called Summer?” Dad: “Because your mother loves the #summer.” Daughter: “Thanks, dad. I love you.” Dad: “I love you too, Fresh Pow.”  #ski #puns #dads #daughters
    19. I need everyone to wish me luck. I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of #debt… I’m so excited I can barely put on my #skimask.  #skiing #ski
    20. If you love #skiing follow @AspenSnowmass! Out on the slopes in the #morning… it’s frost come, frost served.  #ski #Aspen
    21. What do you call a slow #skier?… A slopepoke!  #skiing #ski
    22. Financial tip: Don’t invest in skiing companies… The entire sport is going downhill fast.  #skiing #ski #investing
    23. How do #snowboarders introduce themselves?… “Sorry dude” #skiing #ski #snowboarding
    24. Skier: Why do I feel so good when my life and all my friends are going downhill?  #skiing #Vermont #ski
    25. Why wait until #spring to go #skiing?… There’s #snow time like the present!  #ski 
    26. Visit @KillingtonMtn! For those in the #snow… #skiing can be pretty easy.  #ski #SkiVermont #Vermont
    27. I’m taking it #ice and easy… it’s on my first time #skiing.  #ski 
    28. Somebody asked me recently why I took up downhill skiing… I told them uphill skiing was far too difficult.  #skiing #Vermont #ski
    29.  

    No matter what happens when #skiing… the #snow must go on.  #ski #skiing

    Hey @ThePunnyWorld! During #ski season… I try to keep a low #snow profile.  #puns #skiiing

    We love and recommend @TDBank_US! Where does a skier keep his #money?… In a #snow bank.  #skiing #Vermont #ski

    We love @KillingtonMtn! I #snow full well my skiing skills have a long way to go.  #skiing #Vermont #ski

    We love @BroadwayWorld! No matter what happens when #skiing… the #snow must go on.  #ski #puns #Broadway

    Hey @generalelectric How many #ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… 2, one to change the bulb & 1 to say “Nice turn!”  #skiing

    Which movie is a favorite of downhill #skiers?… “The Little Mermaid” because it has Aerial in it.  #ski #puns #skiing #Disney

    Support @usskiteam! #SkiPun: I used to be a professional #skier… It just went downhill from there.  #ski #puns #skiing #USA #careeradvice

    I broke up with my wife on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.  #ski #puns #skiing #divorce

    Ski Pun: Old skiers go downhill fast.  #ski #skiing #retirement

    Ski you later.

    I didn’t realize how good I would be at going down the slopes… I thought I had peaked when I rode the chairlift.

    Ski Pun: Every snow often I like to go skiing.

    Ski Pun: Ski lifts always chair me up.

    When you are as fast and as experienced a skier as me, the snow conditions can really make a difference… I always say with great powder comes great responsibility. (Snow Jokes & Spiderman Jokes)

    Ski Pun: I figured out why ski resorts are so funny… They’re hillareas. (Travel Guest Blogs)

    I retired from skiing… My skills were just going downhill. (Retirement Jokes)

    Why did the stock broker go to the ski resort?… He wanted to meet moguls.

    Some guy I know from school just brushed past me without a skiing jacket on… I think he was giving me the cold shoulder.

    Ski Pun: A novice skier often jumps to contusions. (Ski Puns)

    After a long day out skiing, I want to go to a snowball so I can dance like snowbody’s watching. (Dance Jokes)

    How does a skier get to work?… By icicle. (Bike Jokes)

    I wasn’t meant to be going on the skiing trip with my parents but I hid in the back of the car… When we arrived they called me the snowaway.

    Why did the skier only wear one boot?… He heard there would be a 50% chance of snow.

    What kind of dances do skiers go to?… Snowballs. (Dance Jokes)

    Ski Pun: Okay, so there’s a beginners slope here, there’s intermediate there, there and there, and snow on and snow forth. (Ski Puns)

    When I went to France to learn how to ski… I even needed Alp getting on the chairlift.

    What do you get when you cross a skier and a vampire?… Frostbite. (Vampire Jokes)

    My friend had his birthday out on the slopes during our skiing trip… so we all sang ‘Freeze a jolly good fellow!’ (Birthday Jokes)

    What is a skiers favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Candy Jokes)

    What do skiers eat for breakfast?… Frosted Flakes. (Cereal Jokes)

    Why should you always invite a skier to Thanksgiving dinner?… They’re great at carving. (Thanksgiving Jokes)

    The skiing trip started well but after I lost my glove at the top of one of the slopes.. it was downhill from there. (Travel Guest Blogs)

    My local ski resort was ripped off last week for around $900… The robber stole a burger, two beers, and some chips.

    Skiing Pick-up Line: I can’t take my ice off you! (Ski Puns)

    If you aren’t cracking a smile while skiing on the mountain… then you need to have a little change in altitude!

    Ski Pun: I am a snowboarder at heart… going skiing is an absolute last resort! (Ski Puns)

    Ski Pun: I’m never board, because I always ski. (Ski Puns)

    Alpine for the slopes once I am back home. (Ski Puns)

    I was easily sled in the wrong direction when I was younger… but now I snow where to go myself. (Snow Jokes)

    What is a Colorado clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Colorado Jokes & Skiing Jokes)

    What do skiers eat for lunch?… Icebergers. (Hamburger Jokes)

    What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a mutual fund?… Eventually the fund will mature and make a little money!

    Ski Pun: I have to take care of my mental well-skiing. (Ski Puns & Psychology Jokes)

    Ski Pun: I have only been skiing once or ice before. (Ski Puns)

    Ski Pun: I am snowboard of all the skiers in this resort. (Ski Puns)

    Ski Pun: My local ski slopes are looking for winterns to make tea. (Ski Puns & Tea Jokes)

    Did you hear about the man who lost his left arm and leg in a skiing accident?… He ended up being all right.

    A friend and I got into a fight on a ski lift… It was an uphill battle.

    I am getting snow board of mountains… please may we stop skiing.

    Ski Pun: I’d like to ski across the whole white world. (Ski Puns)

    Why was Cinderella such a bad alpine skier?… Her ski coach was a pumpkin. (Cinderella Jokes)

    I thought taking a job as a ski instructor would be great… But it really went downhill fast. (Labor Day Jokes)

    What happened when an icicle landed on the skiers head?… It knocked him out cold.

    I had been feeling quite down for the beginning of the skiing trip, all until I got to the top of the run… It was just the lift I needed!

    Ski Pun: When I make new friends on the ski slopes I say, “Ice to meet you.” (Ski Puns)

    What do you call the heels on ski boots? … Ski lifts.

    How do you know when a ski instructor walks into the room?… Don’t worry, he’ll tell you.

    What did the Austrian skier yell when he sprained his ankle?… Alp! (Skiing Jokes)

    How can you make a small fortune teaching skiing?… Start with a big one!

    We want better snow!… Powder to the people! (Snow Jokes)

    What do skiers get from sitting on the snow too long?… Polaroids.(Snow Jokes)

    How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… A dozen. One to unscrew the bulb and the rest to analyze the turns.

    Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about skiing?

    What’s the difference between a ski bum and a pizza pie?… The pizza can actually feed a family of four. (Pizza Jokes)

    What did one skier say to the other?… Alpine for you when you’re gone. (Skiing Jokes)

    Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good skiing knock-knock joke?

    I was skiing so fast down the slopes and crashed into a drift at the bottom… It was a total whiteout!

    I warned him about starting his own ski resort… It’s a slippery slope. (Skiing Jokes)

    I went skiing yesterday. It was fun but I broke arm… I guess skiing has its downsides. (Doctor Jokes)

    What does a blind man use to ski?… A skiing eye dog. (Dog Jokes)

    Ski Pun: Frost impressions matter out on the slopes! (Ski Puns)

    Why did the dairy farmer move to a ski area?… He heard that skiers do milk runs. (Milk Jokes & Farming Jokes)

    Why aren’t skiers fun to be around when they’re going up a mountain on a lift?… Because they’re always looking down on you.

    What do you call three Russians skiing down a small hill?… A Triple Low Ski.(World Geography Jokes)

    What do you call a monkey who wins an Olympic gold medal for downhill skiing?… A chimpion.

    Why did the skier always expect the worst when he reached the top of the mountain?… She knew it was all downhill from there…

    How do Jewish skiers greet each other?… Slalom.

    What is a beer enthusiast’s favorite kind of skis?… Brew-skies!! (Beer Jokes)

    What is a skiers favorite game?… Ice Spy with my little eye…

    Why are scrambled eggs like a losing alpine skier?… Because they’ve both been beaten. (Egg Jokes)

    Knock Knock…Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good skiing knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)

    After I did my first ski jump my dad patted me on the back and said “I glove you.” (Dad Jokes)

    Why shouldn’t you let somebody who just got out of rehab go skiing?… Because it’s a slippery slope.

    Why was the skier taken to the hospital?… He hurt his ski bum. (Doctor Jokes)

    “You know what Telemarking means in Norwegian?… “Wait for me!” (World Geography Jokes)

    I broke up with my significant other on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.

    How many telemark skiers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?… Two. One to turn the build while the other says “nice turns brah!”

    Why did the Ski Instructor want a divorce?… Because he thought his wife was a flake. (Divorce Jokes)

    I broke up with my husband on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill. (Divorce Jokes)

    How do you get a snowboarder off your porch?… Pay him for the pizza. (Pizza Jokes)

    I broke up with my girlfriend on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.

    Why are mountains so funny?… Because they’re hill areas.

    I broke up with my boyfriend on a ski trip… Our relationship was going downhill.

    What do you call a ski bum who has broken up with his girlfriend?… Homeless!

    Why are ski resports so funny?… Because they’re hill areas.

    What do you call a ski bum who has broken up with her boyfriend?… Homeless!

    What do skiers call their list of things they want to do in their lifetime?… Brain Bucket list.

    Which skiers wear the biggest boots?… The one with the biggest feet!

    What do ski repairmen eat their meals on?… Baseplates.

    Why did the beginner skier go to the pet store?… He was told he needed salopettes.

    How do skiers correct their typing mistakes?… White out!

    Why did the farmer bring cattle to the ski mountain?… He heard it was the best place for steers.

    Three snowboarders are riding in the back of a car. Who is driving?… The police. (Police Jokes)

    What is the difference between God and a Ski School Instructor?… God doesn’t think he’s a Ski School instructor…

    When skiing on the beginners slope… I am such a snow burn.

    Why go to the beach?… I’d rather be by the ski-side.

    Ski Pun: I made the switch to snowboard because I knew I was going down a slippery slope with skiing. (Ski Puns)

    Ski Pun: Last time I went to the slopes was at Christmas… It really was the ski-son to be jolly. (Ski Puns)

    As I got off the chairlift, I came to the realization that skiing is not for me… It all went downhill from there.

    What is the difference between a ski instructor and a skiing student?… 3 days.

    Hey @MountainDew! What is a #Colorado clouds favorite drink?… #MountainDew.  #ski #skiing #hiking

    Hey @dominos What’s the difference between a #ski bum a #pizza pie?… A pizza can feed a family of 4. #skiing #moms

    Hey @edu_match! I broke up with my girlfriend on a #ski trip… Our #relationship was going downhill.  #skiing

    Hey @PapaJohns! How do you get the #ski instructor off of your front porch?… Pay for the #pizza! #Snowboarding

    Hey @AARP! Old #skiers go downhill fast.  #ski #skiing #puns

    Hey @whitemts @bretton_woods! Ski Pun: I figured out why #ski #resorts are so #funny… They’re hillareas.  #skiing #puns

    Hey @KillingtonMtn! #Ski Pun:Ski lifts always chair me up.  #skiing #Vermont #puns


     

  • School Jokes: Harry Potter Jokes

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    Jokes for Special Days of the Year!

    1. On a scale from one to ten, how obsessed with Harry Potter are you?… About nine and three quarters.
    2. Why did Professor Snape stand in the middle of the road?… So you’ll never know which side he’s on.
    3. What do you call a Hufflepuff with one brain cell?… Gifted.
    4. You don’t get my Harry Potter jokes?… There must be some thing RON with you.
    5. Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?… Because he was cursing in class!
    6. Why doesn’t Voldemort have glasses?… Nobody nose.
    7. How does Harry Potter get rid of a rash?… With quit-itch.
    8. How do you know if someone’s a pureblood?… Don’t worry they’ll let you know.
    9. What did the comedian say to Harry Potter?… Why so Sirius?
    10. Why does Voldemort only use Twitter and not Facebook?… Cause he only has followers, not friends!
    11. What does Harry Potter have that Voldemort doesn’t?… A NOSE!
    12. How do Death Eaters freshen their breath?… With Dementos.
    13. What do you call a potterhead on a horse?… Harry Trotter.
    14. Voldemort: Why so sirius? Sirius Black: Why so nosy?
  • 3 Important Things to Do Before Choosing an Editing Service

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    3 Important Things to Do Before Choosing an Editing Service

    Without mincing words, editors have been playing a huge role in the final process of writing since time immemorial. A professional editor is needed for an academic material or that book you have been working on for a while and it doesn’t really matter whether you are self-publishing or searching for an agent. Editing and proofreading your college papers has never been this easy with Write My  Term Papers. Decades ago, there was nothing like the online editing services that are now in existence. Writers and even students can easily search for these services and it’s not even necessary for arranging a one-on-one meeting as the whole process will be carried out on the internet.

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