My Town Tutors

Category: Dads

  • 3 Keys for Parents to a Healthy Relationship with a Tutor

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    One of the great appeals of MyTownTutors is that it fosters a great relationship between parents and tutors, which is something we’re trying to replicate with Coach. And after recently surveying almost 300 tutors on how they’re participating in the online tutoring trend, I was able to ask a few other questions, including what tutors look for from the parents of their students.

    Parents are often asked what they look for from tutors, but I thought it would be interesting (and it was) to hear from the other side (the tutor).

    When I first reached out to Pranoy and Rowan (both are tutors on Coach), they were both surprised and delighted to hear that I wanted to talk to them about what they’re looking for from parents, as it’s not a topic that’s often spoken about. Normally the tutor has to take whatever comes their way from the parent being that it’s a service industry, so each of them was excited to share their thoughts.

    In an effort to increase communication and happiness between tutors and parents, here’s what they said:

    #1: Set expectations and goals beforehand

    It’s up to the tutor to reasonably set expectations of what they demand from the parent, but the parent might not have realistic expectations.

    “The tutor can be working their butt off, but if the student is not taking to it for some reason, that’s not necessarily the tutor’s fault,” Rowan says.

    The risk is two-fold: You’ve got certain situations where the parent is scared because they need to make sure that their kid will make progress, but they’re also worried that the kid is not making progress fast enough. This leads to the parent getting really nervous about progress and then the tutor feeding off that nervousness because they feel as if they have to perform.

    “They now feel as if their performance has to be higher and everyone gets worked up and the kid suffers,” Rowan adds.

    One tactic Rowan suggests is letting the parent know that you require “x” amount of commitment from a student and then if the parent doesn’t think it’s going to work, then you (the tutor) can recommend someone else.

    “A lot of this can be settled beforehand by spending ten minutes off the books to discuss what the common goals are, so they can understand each other’s position,” Rowan tells me about having a frank and open conversation with the parents of his students.

    #2: Remember that parents and tutors are on the same team

    “It’s often an adversarial relationship if you let it get out of control,” Rowan tells me, but it doesn’t have to be. Parents and tutors need to be on the same page because they have a common goal in mind. It’s a relationship that needs to be built on mutual respect.

    The relationship between parent and tutor will begin to splinter if the parent doesn’t trust the tutor and starts to side with their kid over them. That’s easier said than done, but that’s why it’s important to remember that you’re on the same team.

    #3: Open communication between parent and tutor

    Keeping an open dialogue throughout a tutoring engagement is important. One thing that parents can do is to routinely ask the tutor how the student is doing. Rowan sees problems occurring in the relationship between parent and student when the parent feels cut off from discussion.

    Pranoy thinks communication is the most important part: “I prefer to have a lot of open communication. I hate to be thrown curve balls. I hate to hear that a student has a test only a day before. The parents need to be on top their kids with what they have to do and then communicate it to me in a timely manner.”

    To that end, Pranoy is comfortable with all forms of communication: text, email, and phones, but prefers texting and emailing over calling. Pranoy adds, “I don’t prefer calling, because I can’t always pick up and then the parent gets frustrated.”

    Part of great communication is that parents need to understand a tutor’s timing. Tutors are always on the run and they have other students. Pranoy tells me: “We try very hard to be flexible, but our schedule can’t evolve around the parents. Please give us as much advanced notice as possible. Don’t call me last second. Just book time with me on Coach.”

    Let’s put these best practices into play!

    What it comes down to it, here’s what tutors are looking for from the parents of their students:

    • Parents to help set and have reasonable expectations

    • Mutual respect between parents and tutors

    • Remember that parents and tutors are on the same team

    • Keep an open and active dialogue between tutors and parents

    When these best practices are observed, the parent and tutor will have a great relationship and their student will be more successful as a result.

  • Top 10 Things A Parent Should Know About Competitive Sports

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    Checkout Basketball Drills and Ideas! Here are some specific drills and ideas for 4th grade basketball.
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    Check out our list of “Socially Connected Moms & Dads!:

    1. Coaching comes from the bench, not the bleachers.
    2. The real purpose of competitive sports is for your kid to get better. Not just winning.
    3. Recognize and accept that in some sports, some kids will play more or longer than others.
    4. Losing is not bad. Not being able to handle losing is bad.
    5. Never, ever, trash talk a kid. Yours or any other.
    6. Don’t look for excuses. Don’t blame the weather, the refs, the conditions, the coach, the parents or the other kids. Your kid isn’t going to win every time.
    7. Don’t compare your kid to others on the team. After all, some kids may have better parents.
    8. Keep it in perspective. The world will still be around after they lose a game.
    9. It’s okay to let your kid try other sports or activities.
    10. When it stops being fun for your kid, it’s time to find another activity.

    Other Ideas

    1. 99.99% of all organized sports do not hire bind refs so stop asking.
    2. Despite what you think, there is no conspiracy by the referees to make calls against your team.
    3. Referees are human and make mistakes just like your kid has and will continue to do.
    4. Don’t like the ref’s call? Shut Up!
    5. If YOU knew so much then YOU would be the ref.
    6. If YOU knew so much then YOU would be the coach.
    7. When your kid loses, show some dignity. When your kid wins, be gracious.
    8. Don’t make your kid’s sport your life. It’s okay to have one of your own.
    9. Using guilt and fear to motivate kids is just wrong. If you do, seek help.

  • Coaching Youth Basketball: The Playing Time Spectrum

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    Basketball Jokes: Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball! (Top Basketball Jokes for Kids)
    Coaching Youth Basketball Resources
    Youth Basketball Rotations
    Here is our K-8 Youth Basketball Curriculum by  Grade.


    Checkout Basketball Drills and Ideas! Here are some specific drills and ideas for 4th grade basketball.

    How to Divide Playing Time?

    Coaching a competitive travel team, involves distributing playing time. The big question for a coach and one whose answer will never keep everyone (or perhaps anyone) happy is “What is FAIR playing time?”. There are many different philosophies regarding this question. Is fair equal? Should different players start each game? If playing time is not equal, how much should the better players play? What is the amount of time the less talented players should receive?

    On an ideal travel team, most of the players will have similar skills and a high level of commitment so the playing time can be relatively equal. The reality is that on many teams there is a wide range of skills and ability in addition to varied levels of commitment.

    When determining playing time there are a few things that should be looked at 1st.

    What is the league policy? Are the mandatory minimum playing time rules for the league. One 4th grade travel A league has the following guideline:

    There are no minimum playing time rules. However, this is a development program and it is hoped that all players get playing time.

    As a coach looking for guidance, there is no help here. Playing time is completely up to the coach. If a coach has a win-at-all-cost attitude. He can play his best players for the majority of the game.

    What is the town policy? Very often if a league does not have a set rule, the town may. My town has the following expectation:

    The Board of Directors has a 25% of the game playing time expectation (8 minutes / 32 minute game). One board member explained to me his playing time ranges “from 9 or 10 minutes to 20 minutes.

    Another town (or league) might institute an equal playing time rule. The players may receive a number and the coach will simply rotate the players in 5 at a time based on the numbered system.

    Possible Options

    Unless there are clear guidelines by the league or the town, the coaches will ultimately decide how the playing time is distributed. There are many ways to distribute playing time and a coach can try different options to see which one is the best for his team.

    Playing time can be seen like a political spectrum ranging from liberal (even playing time for all players) to conservative (we need to win, so the best players are going to play!). Age, experience and competitiveness of the league will all be factors in deciding a philosophy.

    #1 Even playing time (Equal Playing Time Rotation Sheet): This is the philosophy that perhaps is the easiest and the one that will receive the least resistance from parents. A coach can just simply assign each player a number and follow a numbered system. The coach will make substitutions after a set amount of time (3 – 4 minutes). The coach can start over each game with the #1 player, or he can be truly equal and continue the rotation for the entire season.

    Pros: Even playing time allows for player development for all the players. There also will be very few parent complaints. The better players might raise a concern, but the majority of parents will be happy with even playing time.

    Cons: The team will be less competitive and will be at a disadvantage when playing teams that play their better kids more. Although all players will develop, the better kids will not receive the playing time that may have been earned through working hard (camps, AAU), being committed, and improving in practice. It also may be difficult to balance the line-up with guards and forwards.

    #2 Merit Play: Following 25% (or minimum) playing time expectation: This philosophy divide the playing time based on skill level, commitment, and ability to perform in a game. The coach can set a rotation where the weakest players receive the league minimum (or a little more) and the other players receive more playing time based on skill level.

    Pros: The team will be more competitive team. The better players will get more opportunities and will have a chance to develop chemistry on the floor.

    Cons: The less talented players may get discouraged and display a poor attitude. Parents will not be happy with their son not getting as much playing time as other players. In the long run, player development is the main goal. Players will grow, attend camps, and will improve. It is difficult at a young age to put all your eggs in one basket by identifying the players who you think will be better down the road.

    #3 Combination of the two (a middle ground): This maybe the best option for some coaches. For two quarters (1st and one other), the top players can receive more playing (60 % – 40%). During the other two periods, the coach can give equal playing time.

    Pros: By playing the better kids more in the 1st period, a coach can see how competitive the team is. It is a good test to see how the top 5 players play against the opposing team’s starters. It also keeps the less talented players (and parents) happy.

    The better players will get more opportunities and will have a chance to develop chemistry on the floor.

    Cons: The team does not have the best chance of winning, however with youth sports, winning should not be the most important factor. Having fun and player development should take precedence over winning.

  • PsychInquiry: 37 Great High School Psychology Activities

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    FREE Psychology Lessons

    Top Psychology Jokes & Psychology Jokes

    The following activities might be great for a high school or college psychology class. Click on the link to go directly to the activity. If the activity is bold, we have completed a detailed review of the activity.
    Hopefully the activity review will help teachers save time and decide if the activity is a good fit for their classes.
    Chapter 1: Foundations for the Study of Psychology

    1. Reaction Times: Studying the Mind (15 minutes):http://www.gmw.rug.nl/~psychinquiry/01/reaction_times/index.html

    Chapter 2: Methods of Psychology

    1. Correlational Analysis: Identifying Relationships (15 minutes):
    2. Distinguishing Between Correlational and Experimental Research (20 minutes):
    3. Controlling for Subject-Expectancy Effects (10 minutes)

    Chapter 3: Genetic and Evolutionary Foundations of Behavior

    1. Heredity – Environment Interaction in Alcoholism (10 minutes)

    Chapter 4. Basic Processes of Learning

    1. Maze Learning From a Rat’s Perspective (10 minutes)
    2. Classically Conditioned Tastes (15 minutes)

    Chapter 5. The Neural Control of Behavior

    1. Examine the Evidence for Hemispheric Specialization (15 minutes)
    2. Hemispheric Specialization (15 minutes)

    Chapter 6. Mechanisms of Motivation and Emotion

    1. The Hypothalamus and Hunger (10 minutes)
    2. Demonstrate Dream Reports (8 minutes)
    3. Hemispheric Specialization and Emotional Expression in Faces (15 minutes)

    Chapter 7. Smell, Taste, Pain, Hearing, and Psychophysics

    1. Auditory Masking (10 minutes)
    2. The McGurk Effect (10 minutes)

    Chapter 8: The Psychology of Vision

    1. Examine Evidence for Opponent Processes (5 minutes)
    2. Feature Integration (15 minutes)
    3. Investigating Your Own Depth Cues (5 minutes)

    Chapter 9. Memory and Consciousness

    1. Chunking in Short-Term Memory (5 minutes): This is a great activity that students enjoy. The activity does a great job reinforcing the important concepts of chunking and short-term memory!
    2. Demonstrate the Tip-of-the-Tongue Experience (15 minutes)
    3. Implicit Memory (15 minutes)

    Chapter 10. Reasoning and Intelligence

    1. Decisions and Judgments (20 minutes)
    2. Bilingualism, Thinking, and Language Learning (10 minutes)

    Chapter 11. The Development of Thought and Language

    1. Testing Spatial Reasoning (10 minutes)
    2. Development of Thought: Which Stage Describes Your Thinking (15 minutes)

    Chapter 12. Social Development

    1. Development of Attachment (10 minutes)
    2. Adult Attachment (5 minutes)

    Chapter 13. Social Perception and Attitudes

    1. Implicit Association Test (10 minutes)
    2. Attributions for Achievement (5 minutes)

    Chapter 14. Social Influences on Behavior

    1. Social Dilemmas: Cooperate or Not (15 minutes)
    2. Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (5 minutes)

    Chapter 15. Personality

    1. Gender Roles (5 minutes)
    2. Personal Identity (5 minutes)

    Chapter 16. Mental Disorders

    1. Phobias (10 minutes)
    2. Identifying Mood Disorders (20 minutes)
    3. Studying Antisocial Personality Disorder (15 minutes)

    Chapter 17. Treatment

    1. Early Treatment of Mental Disorders (5 minutes)
    2. Evaluating Alternative Therapies (10 minutes)

     

  • Superbowl 50: Teachers How to Be Awesome Like Beyonce

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    Author Bio: Rafranz Davis is passionate learner and proud of it! She is an Instructional Technology Specialist with an amazing school district. She works with an amazing team that works with amazing teachers who teach amazing kids. “Passion is Contagious! Share It!”

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    I woke up this morning with two deep thoughts. One was Amber Teamann‘s quote…(@8amber8)

    “Blowing out someone’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.”

    The other was a quote from my mother, who does NOT have a web presence…

    “Some people’s lights are meant to shine brighter. Imagine a world full of Beyonces.”

    My daughter, who reminds me everyday to find my inner Beyonce

    My daughter, who reminds me everyday to find my inner Beyonce

    Let’s take a moment and think about that…a world full of Beyonces. What does Beyonce have, other than more money than can be printed, goddess-like looks and the voice of an angel?

    CONFIDENCE & THE REALIZATION OF WHO SHE IS!

    Yes, I screamed that from the rafters…hence the bold print and all caps.

    We just left a massive technology conference (ISTE) where people were clamoring to have pictures made with “edu-stars from twitter,” which would have been okay had they not also at times diminished their own contributions while building up others. It broke my heart to hear, “I wish that I could____ like _____.”

    Dear Edu-World…We are all amazing. We have strengths in areas that are vastly different. Some of us are amazing at building relationships. Others are tech-wizards. We have Curriculum Super-Stars. Quite a few are amazingly brilliant leaders. The bottom line is that there should NOT be any lights brighter than others. We all have the capacity to shine and areas to shine within. What is your strength?

    What makes one light brighter than the other? It’s the Beyonce-syndrome, confidence and sense of self. When I was in high school, I was an officer on our school dance team. My mother used to to yell at me from the stands, “Smile Baby! Act like you own the place!” So I did. One would assume that with a mother like that, I’d grow up to be highly confident. I did not. It was only this year that I really found my inner strength. As successful as my career has been, I didn’t see it. I was too busy comparing my accomplishments, which were there to others that I thought were better. As crazy as that sounds, that was me! The moment that I took my mom’s advice and realized who I was and what I have to offer was the moment that my life changed. Yes, I credit Scott Floyd for helping me to see that but the reality is that it was all me…Acceptance of WHO I AM and WHAT I BRING TO THE TABLE!

    Even Chrome tells me that I’m awesome and amazing daily

    What I hope that you get from this posting is that instead of diminishing someone else’s light, including your own, find what makes you stand out! Be Awesome, in the words of Kid President because you ARE! You were made to be Awesome!

    Steps to be Awesome! (Things that YOU can do instead of putting down those that ARE)

    • Submit a proposal to present at the next conference

    • Start a blog & share!

    • Join conversations on twitter.

    • Build relationships with those that you encounter

    • Tell yourself everyday how awesome you are!

    • Give props to someone else…give props to someone that you originally put down

    • Watch ALL posted Kid President videos like the one below!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-gQLqv9f4o
    If you are a teacher who tutors, register with us for just $12 for a year. This is the only fee! Teachers keep 100% of the money.
    Parents, “teachers are great tutors!” Find one in your area today!

  • Superbowl Trivia: Football Trivia for Superbowl 50

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    My Town Tutors loves sports and education. We have a coaching youth basketball page with many drills and resources. Over the years we have written about a variety of topics, but one of our most visited pages is our Christmas Trivia Answers blog.
    Since it is so popular, we figured we would try a Super Bowl Trivia and Answers blog. We have combed the internet for some great questions. Good Luck!
    http://www.newsday.com/sports/football/super-bowl/super-bowl-trivia-quiz-1.9830517

    1. Which franchise has won the most Super Bowls with six?…
    2. Which two teams were the only teams to face each other in consecutive Super Bowls?
    3. Who holds the record for most completed passes in a Super Bowl?
    4. Who was the last team to win a Super Bowl in Arizona?
    5. Who holds the record for most career touchdowns in the Super Bowl?
    6. Russell Wilson will become the youngest quarterback to start two Super Bowls. Who previously held this record?
    7. Before Malcolm Smith won the Super Bowl MVP award last year, who was the last defensive player to win the award?
    8. Who is the only player to be the leading rusher in two Super Bowls for the Giants?
    9. Which Super Bowl was the only one with co-MVPs?
    10. In which Super Bowl that Adam Vinatieri played in did he not make a field goal?
    11. Who was the leading rusher for the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLVIII?
    12. In the Patriots’ last Super Bowl victory, who was the MVP?
    13. Pete Carroll is the fourth coach to face his former team in the Super Bowl. Which of these coaches has NOT done that?

    http://nypost.com/2014/01/31/30-super-bowl-trivia-questions-to-stump-your-friends/
    RECORD-SETTERS
    1. Which player has participated in the most Super Bowls?… Mike Lodish, 6 (Buffalo SB 25-28, Denver SB 32-33)
    2. Which player has won the most Super Bowls?… Charles Haley, 5 (San Francisco SB 23-24, Dallas SB 27-28, 30)
    3. Who has been the head coach in the most Super Bowls?… Don Shula, 6 (Baltimore SB 3, Miami SB 6-8, 12, 19)
    4. Name the four head coaches tied with the most Super Bowl losses (4)… Bud Grant (Minnesota), Don Shula (Baltimore, Miami), Marv Levy (Buffalo), Dan Reeves (Denver, Atlanta)
    5. Who is the only player to score three touchdowns in a Super Bowl game twice?… Jerry Rice (San Francisco, SB 26 vs. Denver and 29 vs. San Diego)
    6. Which kicker holds the records for most field goals attempted (10) and made (7) in the Super Bowl?… Adam Vinatieri (New England, Indianapolis)
    7. Who kicked the longest field goal in Super Bowl history?… Steve Christie (Buffalo, 54 yards, SB 28 vs. Dallas)
    8. Who is the only player to rush for three touchdowns in a Super Bowl game?… Terrell Davis (Denver vs. Green Bay, SB 32)
    9. Which quarterback threw the most passes in a Super Bowl game?… Jim Kelly 58 (Buffalo vs. Washington, SB 26)
    10. Which quarterback and receiver hooked up for the longest completion in Super Bowl history?… Jake Delhomme and Muhsin Muhammad (Carolina vs. New England, SB 38)
    11. Which four receivers share the record for the most receptions in a Super Bowl game (11)?… Dan Ross (Cincinnati vs. San Francisco, SB 16), Jerry Rice (San Francisco vs. Cincinnati, SB 23), Deion Branch (New England vs. Philadelphia, SB 39), Wes Welker (New England vs. Giants, SB 42)
    12. Of the nine players to return kickoffs for touchdowns, only one won the MVP in that game. Who was it?… Desmond Howard (Green Bay vs. New England, SB 31)
    13. Has there ever been a punt returned for a touchdown in a Super Bowl?… No
    14. Who is the only player with three interceptions in a Super Bowl game?… Rod Martin (Oakland vs. Philadelphia, SB 15)
    15. What were the highest- and lowest-scoring Super Bowls (combined points)?… Most 75 (San Francisco 49, San Diego 26, SB 29), least 21 (Miami 14, Washington 7 in SB 7)
    WHODUNIT?
    16. In Super Bowl XVIII, which two little-known L.A. Raiders scored return touchdowns, one on a recovery of a blocked punt in the end zone, and the other on a 5-yard interception return of Joe Theismann?… Derrick Jensen (punt recovery), Jack Squirek (pick six)
    17. Which Ram tackled Titans WR Kevin Dyson at the 1-yard line as time expired in Super Bowl XXXIV?… Mike Jones
    18. Which Redskin intercepted Dolphin Garo Yepremian’s infamous throw on a botched field goal and raced 49 yards for a touchdown in Super Bowl VII?… Mike Bas
    19. Which Jets DB had two interceptions in Super Bowl III?… Randy Beverly
    20. Which player scored the first and last points of two Super Bowls, 11 years apart?… Matt Bahr (Steelers, SB 14; Giants, SB 25)
    21. Which Bills WR forced showboating Cowboy Leon Lett to fumble at the 1-yard line in Super Bowl XXVII?… Don Beebe
    22. Which four players have won both the Heisman Trophy and Super Bowl MVP?… Roger Staubach (Navy, Cowboys), Jim Plunkett (Stanford, Raiders), Marcus Allen (USC, Raiders), Desmond Howard (Michigan, Packers)
    23. Which two Patriots were covering David Tyree when he made his miraculous “Catch 42”?… Rodney Harrison, James Sanders
    24. Which nine franchises have won the Super Bowl in their first try?… Packers, Jets, Steelers, 49ers, Bears, Giants, Ravens, Buccaneers, Saints
    25. Which three players scored touchdowns on returns in a span of 36 seconds in the third quarter of Super Bowl XXXV (Ravens-Giants)?
    26. Which future Super Bowl winning head coach caught a touchdown pass from Roger Staubach in Super Bowl VI?
    27. Who is the last player to win MVP without figuring in the scoring of a touchdown?… Duane Starks, Ravens (49-yard interception, 11:11); Ron Dixon, Giants (97-yard kickoff, 11:29); Jermaine Lewis, Ravens (84-yard kickoff, 11:47)
    28. Which Giants backup quarterback ran for a momentum-changing first down on a fake punt against the Broncos in Super Bowl XXI?… Mike Ditka
    29. Name the player who won a Super Bowl MVP after he played for the Jets, and the player who won the award before he joined the Jets…. Deion Branch, Patriots (SB 39); 28. Jeff Rutledge; 29. John Riggins, Santonio Holmes
    30. Which five assistant coaches on Bill Parcells’ staff in Super Bowl XXV went on to become NFL head coaches?… Ray Handley, Tom Coughlin, Bill Belichick, Romeo Crennel, Al Groh (plus, Ron Erhardt had been a head coach previously, and Charlie Weis became the head coach at Notre Dame)

  • Superbowl 50 Jokes: Top Superbowl Football Jokes

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    Check out Major World Sporting Events! & Sports Joke of the Day! Superbowl Trivia & Superbowl Lesson Ideas!

    1. Why did the NFL football player go to the bank?… to get his quarter back.
    2. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap.
    3. What football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak.
    4. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver!
    5. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.”
    6. If you want to sack the Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?… Your fishing tackle. (Top Fishing Jokes)
    7. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward.
    8. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
    9. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker.
    10. Did you here about the football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub?
    11. Where do hungry football players play?… In the Supper Bowl.
    12. Did you hear that some NFL football teams don’t have a website?…They can’t string three “Ws” together.
    13. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
    14. What does a bad football team and possums have in common?… Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
    15. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?… “Give me my quarterback!”
    16. What kind of ends do you find in libraries?… Book ends.
    17. Which player is the easiest target to hit with the football?… The wide receiver.
    18. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders.
    19. Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?… Out to pass-ture.
    20. Why can’t the struggling quarterback get into his own driveway?… Someone painted an endzone on it.
    21. Which football team cooks gourmet meals together?… The Kansas City Chefs.
    22. What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?… ALL the NFL teams not in the Super Bowl.
    23. Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?… Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.
    24. Why did the elephant who was a football fan start a stampede?… Because he wanted to play for the Chargers.
    25. Why are football stadiums always cool?… “Because they’re full of fans.”

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    Sports Jokes

    June Jokes / Summer Jokes /  June Sporting Events

    1. What is a boxer's favorite part of a joke?... The punch line! (Top Boxing Jokes & Top 10 Muhammad Ali Quotes)
    2. NBA Finals: Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball! (NBA All-Time Champions, NBA Finals MVPs, NBA Teams on Twitter)
    3. Stanley Cup Finals: What’s the difference between a hockey game & a boxing match?… In a hockey game, the fights are real. (Top Hockey Jokes, NHL Teams on Twitter, Stanley Cup Finals MVPs, Stanley Cup Finals Champions)
    4. NBA Finals: Why did the basketball player visit the bank?… His checks were all bouncing. (NBA All-Time Champions, NBA Finals MVPs, NBA Teams on Twitter)
    5. Stanley Cup Finals: Why is the NHL hockey rink hot after the game?... All the fans have left. (Top Hockey Jokes, NHL Teams on Twitter, Stanley Cup Finals MVPs, Stanley Cup Finals Champions)
    6. NCAA College Softball World Series: Did you hear the joke about the softball?… It will leave you in stitches! (NCAA Softball Champions & Top Softball Jokes)
    7. NBA Finals: What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales.(NBA All-Time Champions, NBA Finals MVPs, NBA Teams on Twitter)
    8. NBA Finals: Who was the poet of basketball?… Longfellow. (NBA All-Time Champions, NBA Finals MVPs, NBA Teams on Twitter)
    9. Stanley Cup Finals: What do a bad hockey team & the Titanic have in common?... They both look good until they hit the ice! (Top Hockey Jokes, NHL Teams on Twitter, Stanley Cup Finals MVPs, Stanley Cup Finals Champions)
    10. NCAA College Baseball World Series:
    11. .
    12. .
    13. .
    14. .
    15. U.S. Open: Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well. (Top Math Jokes / 101 Pi Day Jokes / Golf Jokes)
    16. U.S. Open: Why did the golfer have an extra pair of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
    17. U.S. Open: Are you a scratch player?… I sure am – every time I hit the ball I scratch my head and wonder where it went.
    18. U.S. Open: Brand new golf balls are attracted to water, and the power of the attraction is in direct proportion to how much the balls cost.
    TBD
    1. What do they call a boxer who gets beat up in a fight?... A sore loser. (Top Boxing Jokes & Top 10 Muhammad Ali Quotes)
    2. Does a match box?… No, but a tin can! (Top Boxing Jokes& Top 10 Muhammad Ali Quotes)
    3. How do you make a fruit punch?… Give it boxing lessons. (Top Boxing Jokes& Top 10 Muhammad Ali Quotes)
      October Halloween Sports Jokes
    1. Why was Cinderella such a bad basketball player?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    2. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a double header! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    3. Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team?… To add a little team spirit. (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    4. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter?… Because the manager knew, once he sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up. (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    5. Little League Vampire: Dad, what’s the best way to hold a bat?… Father Vampire: By the wings, son. (Top 10 Father’s Day Jokes / Top Baseball Jokes:Page #1 Google Search)
    6. Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    7. Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day! (Bats at the Beach is a Great Summer Book!)
    8. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen. (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    9. What animal is best at hitting a baseball?… A bat! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    10. Why did the vampire strike out?… He used the wrong bat! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    11. Why was the mummy sent into the game as the closer?… Because the manager knew, once he sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up. (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    12. Why was Dracula on the 15-day disabled list?…He was a pain in the neck! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    13. When do vampires like horse racing?… When it’s neck and neck!
    14. What does a ghost keep in its stable?… Nightmares.
    15. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the game?… Because he had no body to go with.
    16. What kind of mail does a top vampire athlete get?… Fang mail!
    July March: Great Advertising Opportunities
    1. How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?… Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    2. What did the march say to all the madness?… What’s all that bracket. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    3. Why is a scrambled egg like a losing basketball team?… Because they both have been beaten. (Top Basketball Jokes & Top Easter Jokes)
    4. Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    5. Why can’t you get a fairly officiated game in the jungle?… They are all cheetahs. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    6. In what sport is a basket filled but never gets full?… Basketball. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    7. “He’s great on the court,” a sportswriter said of a college basketball player in an interview with his coach. “But’s how’s his scholastic work?” “Why, he makes straight A’s,” replied the coach. “Wonderful!” said the sportswriter. “Yes,” agreed the coach, “but his B’s are a little crooked.” (Top Basketball Jokes)
    8. Hanging in the hallway at the High School are the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year — “62-63,” “63-64,” “64-65,” etc.  One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, “Isn’t it strange how the teams always lost by one point?” (Top Basketball Jokes)

     

    March Jokes & Spring Sports Jokes

    March Madness Trivia & March Madness Quotes

    1. Top Softball Jokes (#1 Google Search): What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen.
    2. Lacrosse Jokes (#1 Google Search): What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge!
    3. Sports Jokes for Day Light Savings Time: What animal is the best mascot for daylight savings time?… A watch dog!
    4. Sports Jokes for Pi Day: What is the official mascot of Pi Day?… the PI – thon! (Mascot Jokes)
    5. Sports Jokes for Pi Day: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?… He was better at fitting curves than hitting them. (Top Baseball Jokes)
    8. Sports Jokes for St. Patrick's Day: “I married an Irish Football player on St. Patrick’s Day.” ….”Oh, really?” …. “No, O’Reilly!”
    9. Sports Jokes for Spring: Spring Fever: Four high school spring athletes were afflicted with spring fever and skipped practice. The next day they reported to the coach that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a practice, so go sit apart from one another and take this piece of paper.” Still smiling, the coach waited for them to sit down. Then he said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”

    January Jokes & Winter Jokes

    1. What did the triple jumper say to the track & field team on January 1st?... Hoppy New Year (Top New Year's Day Jokes & Top Track & Field Jokes)
    2. How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… two, one to change the bulb and one to say “Nice turn, nice turn!” (Top Skiing Jokes)
    3. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game?… If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver! (College Football Jokes)
    4. What’s the difference between a quarterback and a baby?… One takes the snap, the other takes a nap. (College Football Jokes)
    5. What football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak. (College Football Jokes)
    6. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Top Father's Day Jokes)
    7. How do snowmen travel around?… By icicle! (Top Cycling Jokes)
    8. What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?… In a hockey game, the fights are real. (Top Boxing Jokes)
    9. What do a bad hockey team (insert name) and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice! (Top Hockey Jokes)
    10. Fencing jokes?… What’s the point? (Fencing Jokes)
    11. Why do NHL players never sweat?… They have to many fans! (Top Hockey Jokes)
    12. What did one tennis ball say to the other tennis ball?… “See you round..” (Top Tennis Jokes)
    13. What do you serve but not eat?…  A Tennis Ball. (Top Tennis Jokes)
    14. Why is a tennis game a noisy game?… Because each player raises a racket. (Top Tennis Jokes)
    15. What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    16. (Australian Open January 16th - 29th) (@AustralianOpen 938K followers): Professional Tennis! (Top Tennis Jokes)
    17. When is a field hockey player like a judge?… When she sits on the bench. (Field Hockey Jokes)
    To Add
    1. What MTV show do bass fishermen watch?… The Reel World! (Fishing Jokes)
    2. If you want to sack the Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?… Your fishing tackle. (Fishing Jokes)
    3. Golf Jokes: Why did they kick Tarzan out of the golf game?… He screamed with every swing.
    4. Gymnastics Jokes: How long does it take for the gymnast to get to practice?… A split second!
    5. Top Handball Jokes: What did the mummy handball coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
    February
    1. How is losing money in a payphone like a football game? If you don’t get the quarter back, you hit the receiver! (Super Bowl Jokes))
    2. Why doesn't the worst  NFL football team have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Super Bowl Jokes)
    3. What’s the difference between the poor, inconsistent football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. (Super Bowl Jokes)
    4. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?... Because he was trying to make ends meet. (Super Bowl Jokes)
    5. Where do quarterbacks go when they get old?... Out to pass-ture. (Super Bowl Jokes)
    6. What do you call a lineman’s kids? Chips off the old blocker. (Super Bowl Jokes)
    7. What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?… In a hockey game, the fights are real. (Top Boxing Jokes)
    8. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (Top Baseball Jokes)
    9. What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Top Lacrosse Jokes)
    10. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen. (Top Softball Jokes)
    11. What do a bad hockey team (insert name) and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice! (Top Hockey Jokes)
    12. What football play should you be suspicious of?… The quarterback sneak. (Superbowl, Top Football Jokes, Lessons for the Superbowl, Superbowl Trivia)
    13. Why do NHL players never sweat?… They have too many fans! (Top Hockey Jokes)
    14. Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?… To them, “Love” means nothing. (Top Valentine's Day Jokes & Top Tennis Jokes)
    15. Who was the poet of basketball?… Longfellow. (Top Basketball Jokes) English teachers are great tutors!
    16. Why did the basketball player visit the bank?… His checks were all bouncing. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    17. Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball! (Top Basketball Jokes)
    18. Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?… To them, “Love” means nothing. (Top Tennis Jokes)
    19. What did the young maiden say to the handsome archer?… “You make me quiver.” (Valentine’s Day Jokes & Archery Jokes)
    20. Why do basketball players love cookies?… Because they can dunk them! (Top Basketball Jokes)
    21. They’re a team in transition… They’re going from bad to worse. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    22. Why did the basketball sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens?… He was trying to draw fowls / fouls. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    23. Why can’t you play basketball with pigs?… They hog the ball. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    24. What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?… One drools, the other dribbles. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    25. If a basketball team were chasing a baseball team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05) (Top Basketball Jokes)
    26. What’s the difference between a ball hog and time?… Time passes. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    27. What do basketball cheerleaders drink before they go to a basketball game?… Root beer! (Top Basketball Jokes)
    28. What do you call an unbelievable story about a basketball player?… A tall tale. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    29. The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and had proceeded to give an oral quiz to the freshman class.  Speaking specifically about manic depression, the instructor asked, “How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?”  A young man in the rear of the room raised his hand and answered, “A basketball coach?” (Top Basketball Jokes)
    30. Why couldn’t the basketball player listen to his music?… Because he broke a record! (Top Basketball Jokes)
    31. How do basketball players stay cool during a game?… They stand near the fans. (Top Basketball Jokes)
    32. What event is best for Leap Day?... The long jump, the high jump, the pole vault (Top Leap Day Jokes)
    33. Who is the #1 spokesperson for Leap Day?... Jump Man Michael Jordan (Top Leap Day Jokes & Top Basketball Jokes)

    December Jokes & Winter Jokes

    1. What’s the difference between a ski bum and a pizza pie?… The pizza can actually feed a family of four. (Top Pizza Jokes)
    2. How can you make a small fortune teaching skiing?… Start with a big one! (Top Skiing Jokes)
    3. What’s the difference between a ski instructor and a mutual fund?… Eventually the fund will mature and make a little money! (Top Skiing Jokes)
    4. What do you call a snowboarder who has broken up with his girlfriend… Homeless! (Top Skiing Jokes)
    5. How do snowboarders introduce themselves?… “SORRY DUDE” (Top Skiing Jokes)
    6. What’s the difference between a snowboard beginner and a snowboard instructor?… About a week! (Top Skiing Jokes)
    7. What is the last thing a snowboarder ever says?… ”Dude, watch this!” (Top Skiing Jokes)
    8. What do you say to a snowboard instructor in summer?… Fries please! (French Fry Jokes)
    9. Why are most snowboard jokes one liners?… So the skiers can understand them! (Top Skiing Jokes)
    10. How do you get the ski instructor off of your front porch?… Pay for the pizza! (Top Pizza Jokes)
    11. At a party, how do you tell who the ski instructor is?… Don’t worry. He will tell you. (Top Skiing Jokes)
    12. On a date, what does a ski instructor say after the first hour?… “That’s enough talk about me; now let’s talk about skiing.” (Top Skiing Jokes)
    13. How many ski instructors does it take to change a light bulb?… A dozen. One to unscrew the bulb and the rest to analyze the turns. (Top Skiing Jokes)
    14. What is Clarence’s (It’s a Wonderful Life) favorite baseball team?… The Angels!
    15. (Christmas Trivia & Answers / Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    16. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt! (Top Karate Jokes & Top Christmas Jokes)
    17. If a basketball gets athlete’s foot, what does an astronaut... missle toe (Top Basketball Jokes & Top Christmas Jokes)

    November Jokes & Fall Jokes

    1. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?… “Quack! Quack!” (Sports Jokes for Thanksgiving)
    2. What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?… Beer Nuts are around a dollar seventy-nine, and deer nuts are just under a buck!
    3. A man and woman were on their first date. The woman was trying to make conversation and said, “So I hear you hunt deer.” The man looked away and turned red. “What’s wrong?” asked the woman. “I’m not used to someone calling me dear on the first date,” the man said. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    4. A deer hunter got on his hands and knees to take a closer at some tracks. That’s when he got hit by the train.
    5. On the first day of the deer hunting season, a hunter fell out of a deer stand and broke both his legs. “Why couldn’t this happen on my last day of hunting?!” the hunter cried to the doctor. “It did,” the doctor replied.
    6. How do you catch a unique deer?…. Unique up on it!
    7. How do you catch a tame deer?… Tame way – unique up on it!
    8. Which side of a deer has the most meat?… The inside.
    9. On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. “Give me a couple of steaks,” he says. “We’re out of steaks but we have hotdogs and chicken,” says the butcher. “Hotdogs and chicken?!” yells the hunter. “How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?”
    10. What do deer call hunters?… doe foes!
    11. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the marines?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! (Sports Jokes for Veterans Day)
    12. What did the hunter miss his mark?… He was not aiming deerectly for it. (Top Archery Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    13. Why did the black belt get arrested?… He held up a pair of pants.
    14. Why is Santa so good at karate?… Because he has a black belt! (Top Karate Jokes& Top Christmas Jokes)
    15. What do you call a pig that does karate?… Porkchop!
    16. What do you call a goat that knows martial arts?… Karate kid.
    17. What does the zero say to the the eight?… Nice belt! (101 Pi Day Jokes)
    18. Where do Karate athletes go to get a new uniform?… New Jersey (Top Geography Jokes & Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)
    1. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?… “Quack! Quack!” (Top Hunting Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    4. (Top November 16th: National Fast Food Day Jokes: Where do they hold prizefights in Fastfoodland?… In an onion ring! (Top Boxing Jokes: 1st page Google Search)

    October Jokes & Fall Jokes

    1. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (World Series Jokes)
    2. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!” (World Series Jokes)
    3. Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher. (World Series Jokes)
    4. Why are some umpires fat?…They always clean their plate! (World Series Jokes)
    5. Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies! (World Series Jokes)
    6. Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day! (Bats at the Beach is a Great Summer Book!)
    7. Why did the police officer go to the baseball game?… Someone stole second base!
    8. Is There Baseball In Heaven? Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90′s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s baseball in heaven.” The dying man said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend’s voice. The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s baseball in heaven.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching on Wednesday.” (World Series Jokes)
    9. Have you ever seen a line drive?… No but I have seen a baseball park! (World Series Jokes)
    10. “Did you hear the joke about the fast pitch?”…  ”Forget it. You just missed it.” (World Series Jokes)
    11. “Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?”…   “Forget it. It’s way over your head.” (World Series Jokes)
    12. Why is it so windy at Candlestick Park?… Because of all the Giant Fans!
    13. What’s the difference between a Yankee Stadium hotdog, and a Fenway Park hotdog?… You can buy a Fenway Frank hotdog in October!
    14. Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle
    15. Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”…“Roof,” the dog barked. Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels….“Rough.” He still wasn’t convinced. “O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog….“Ruth.” With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: “Was it Hank Aaron?”
    16. Where did the baseball player wash his socks?… In the bleachers.
    17. A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”
    18. What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a monster?… a double header!(Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    19. Why did the Brookside Angels have a ghost on their team?… To add a little team spirit. (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    20. Why was the mummy sent into the game as a pinch hitter?… Because the manager knew, once he sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up. (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    21. Little League Vampire: Dad, what’s the best way to hold a bat?… Father Vampire: By the wings, son. (Top 10 Father’s Day Jokes / Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    22. Why are spiders good baseball players?… Because they know how to catch flies! (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    23. Why are baseball games at night?… Because bats sleep during the day! (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    24. What would you get if you crossed a pitcher and the Invisible Man?… Pitching like no one has ever seen. (Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    25. What animal is best at hitting a baseball?… A bat! (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    26. Why did the vampire strike out?… He used the wrong bat! (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    27. Why was the mummy sent into the game as the closer?… Because the manager knew, once he sent the mummy in the game would be all wrapped up. (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    28. Why was Dracula on the 15-day disabled list?…He was a pain in the neck! (Halloween Sports Jokes & Top Baseball Jokes: Page #1 Google Search)
    29. When do vampires like horse racing?… When it’s neck and neck! (Halloween Sports Jokes)
    30. What does a ghost keep in its stable?… Nightmares. (Halloween Sports Jokes)
    31. Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the game?… Because he had no body to go with. (Halloween Sports Jokes)
    32. What kind of mail does a top vampire athlete get?… Fang mail (Halloween Sports Jokes)

    September Jokes & Fall Jokes

    1. I tried my hand at a professional career in tennis, but it wasn’t my racket. I was too high strung. (Top Tennis Jokes & Top Labor Day Jokes)
    2. I was a professional fisherman, but I couldn’t live on my net income. (Top Fishing Jokes & Top Labor Day Jokes)
    3. What did the football say to the punter?… “I get a kick out of you.” (College Football Jokes)
    4. If you want to sack the Miami Dolphins quarterback, what should you use?... Your fishing tackle.  (Top NFL Jokes)
    5. Why do coaches like punters?… Because punters always put their best foot forward.
    6. Who are the happiest people at the football game?… The cheerleaders.
    7. Why did the poor quarterback have his receivers cross at midfield?… Because he was trying to make ends meet.
    8. What do you call a lineman’s kids?… Chips off the old blocker. (Top Father’s Day Jokes)
    9. What’s the difference between a hockey game and a boxing match?… In a hockey game, the fights are real. (Top Boxing Jokes)
    10. What do a bad hockey team (insert name) and the Titanic have in common?… They both look good until they hit the ice!

    August: Top 10 Summer Olympics Jokes

    1. Top Fencing Jokes: Fencing jokes?… What’s the point?
    2. Boxing: Top Boxing Jokes: What is a boxer’s favorite part of a joke?… The punch line!
    3. USA Triathlon: Top Triathlon Jokes : Who is the unofficial sponsor of the oldest Triathlon?… Ironman!
    4. Baseball: Top Baseball Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches!
    5. Beach Volleyball: Top Beach Volleyball Jokes: Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?… For the chance to gain some experience in the service.
    6. USA Kayak: Top Kayak Jokes: Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were getting cold so they decided to light a fire in their boat. It promptly sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
    7. Bowling: Top Bowling Jokes: Why should a bowling alley be quiet?… So you can hear a pin drop!
    8. Diving: Top Diving Jokes: Why did the teacher dive into the water?… She wanted to test the water! (Top Teacher Jokes)
    9. USA Gymnastics: Top Gymnastics Jokes: How long does it take for the gymnast to get to practice?… A split second!
    10. USA Soccer (Top Soccer Jokes): Why did the soccer ball quit the team?… It was tired of being kicked around.
    11. USA Tennis (Top Tennis Jokes): @usta Why should you never fall in love with a tennis player?… To them, “Love” means nothing. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    12. USA Rugby (7s): Top Rugby Jokes A man went to the doctor one day and said: “I’ve just been playing Rugby and when I got back I found that when I touched my legs, my arms, my head, my tummy and everywhere else, it really hurt.” So the doctor said: “You’ve broken your finger.”
    13. USA Judo Top Judo Jokes: President of Judo Club: “Now, what should the colors of our club be?”… Student: “I’d suggest black and blue.”
    14. Cycling: Top Cycling Jokes: Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?… The pavement.
    15. Equestrian: Top Equestrian Jokes: Where do U.S. Olympic horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Top State Jokes)
    16. Basketball: Top Basketball Jokes: What kind of stories are told by basketball players?…. Tall Tales.
    17. USA Racquetball: Top Racquetball Jokes: My racquetball opponent was not happy with my serve. He kept returning it.
    18. ASA / USA Softball (Top Softball Jokes): What did the softball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!”
    19. USA Karate Top Karate Jokes: Why did the black belt get arrested?… He held up a pair of pants.
    20. USA Synchronized Swimming: Top Swimming Jokes: What kind of stroke can you use on toast?… BUTTER-fly!
    21. Archery: Top Archery Jokes: What did the young maiden say to the handsome archer?… “You make me quiver.”
    22. Badminton: Top Badminton Jokes: Why are badminton players so loud?… Because they are always making a RACKET!
    23. Canoe: Top Canoe Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a canoer and the Invisible Man?… Canoeing like no one has ever seen.
    24. Field Hockey: Top Field Hockey Jokes: Why do field hockey players never sweat?… They have too many fans!
    25. Golf Top Golf Jokes: Why did they kick Tarzan out of the golf match?… He screamed with every swing.
    26. USA Volleyball Top Volleyball Jokes: @usavolleyball What can you serve but never eat?… A volleyball!
    27. USA Handball (Top Handball Jokes) @USATH What did the mummy handball coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!” (Top Halloween Jokes)
    28. Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (Top Little League World Series Jokes)
    29. What did the baseball glove say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!” (Top Little League World Series Jokes)
    30. Which baseball player holds water?…The pitcher! (Top Little League World Series Jokes)
    May Jokes for Kids & May Sporting Events
    1. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly and the golfers lie well. (Top Math Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)
    2. How does a Kentucky Derby horse greet another horse?…With Southern Horspitality! (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    3. What did one horse Kentucky Derby horse say to the other horse?… The pace is familiar but I can’t remember the mane. (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    4. Where do Kentucky Derby horses get their hair done?… Maine. (Top State Jokes & Top Kentucky Derby Jokes))
    5. What kind of bread does a Kentucky Derby horse eat?… Thoroughbred (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    6. When do vampires like the Kentucky Derby?… When it’s neck and neck. (Top Halloween Jokes & Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    7. Where do Kentucky Derby horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy! (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    8. What do you call a well balanced Kentucky Derby horse?… Stable. (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    9. What do you call a horse that can’t lose the Kentucky Derby?… Sherbet. (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    10. What did the Kentucky Derby horse say when it fell?… “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!” (Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    11. What did the teacher say when the horse walked into her class?… “Why the long face?”(Top K – 12 Jokes for Teachers & Top Kentucky Derby Jokes)
    12. Why are badminton players so loud?… Because they are always making a RACKET! (Badminton Jokes)
    13. Why did the basketball player go to jail?…  Because he shot the ball! (Top Basketball Jokes for Kids)
    14. What is a lacrosse players favorite type of car?… A dodge! (Lacrosse Jokes)
    15. What did the lacrosse stick say to the ball?…”Catch ya later!” (Lacrosse Jokes &  Memorial Day Jokes)
    16. What would you get if you crossed a lacrosse goalie and the Invisible Man?… Goaltending like no one has ever seen.(Lacrosse Jokes & Memorial Day Jokes)
    17. What animal is the best at getting ground balls?… A groundhog! (Lacrosse Jokes & Groundhog Day Jokes)
    18. What don’t drivers eat before a big race?… In case they get indy-gestion. (Indy 500 Jokes)
    19. Do Indy 500 race drivers stop and take a nap?… Yeah, when they are getting tired. (Napping Jokes)
    20. What did the ace car say to the letter R?… Come and join me!
    21. What do you get when you run in front of a car?… TIRED (Marathon Jokes)
    22. What do you get when you run behind a car?… EXHAUSTED (Boston Marathon Jokes)

     

  • US History Lesson: ICivics: Win the White House

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    FREE U.S. History Lessons / Electoral College Highest to Lowest / President’s Day Jokes

    1. Revolutionary War Jokes Jokes
    2. U.S History Jokes
    3. Geography Jokes
    4. Clean Jokes

    Click here for more lesson ideas! Top Social Studies Jokes!

    ICivics is a great resource for U.S. History teachers. There are so many great lessons that can be used with students. There are some great activities for the 2016 Election.

    Electoral College: Highest to Lowest

    ICivics: Win the White House

    Before starting the assignment, read over the teacher’s guide to the activity to prepare the students. Win the White House Game Guide. There also is a great reading activity that you can use before completing the game: The Electoral Process.

    Running for the presidency isn’t easy! In Win the White House, you get to manage your very own presidential campaign by strategically raising funds, polling voters, launching media campaigns, and making personal appearances. Keep a close eye on the map as you battle over electoral votes and popular support.

    Win the White House was made possible by generous support from the Hearst Foundations.

    Possible Achievements

    Take the High Road: Make it through the entire campaign season without slinging any mud with negative ads or appearances.
    It’s a Landslide: Win more than 300 electoral votes after ten weeks on the campaign trail.
    Dough Roller: Make the most of your fundraising events! Raise 30 during the campaign.

     

    On Message: How well do you know your issues? Make it through the campaign without going off message!

    The Great Debator: Control the debate by correctly matching all issues with their descriptions before the Primaries.

     

    Things to consider: BIG ISSUES

    Select name

    Select Slogan

    Select political party

     

    Select Issues for debate

    Alternative Energy

    Equal Access to Healthcare

    Expanding the Rights of Gays and Lesbians

    Federal Funding for Registration

    Global Cooperation

    Government Transparency

    Gun Control

    Nuclear Disarmament

    Pollution Standards

    Protection of Natural Resources