New York Jokes

by | Nov 15, 2025 | Education, Find a tutor, Latest News, tutoring

New York Jokes:

  1. Halloween Jokes: Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal?… He heard it had great circulation. 
  2. Knock knockout?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the NESCAC football rivals that play in the “Old Rocking Chair Classic?”
  3. Thanksgiving Jokes: Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?…Yes – a building can’t jump at all.
  4. Knock knockout?… Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe Who?… Canoe name the college football teams that compete for the Ben Schwartzwalder Trophy?
  5. Illinois Jokes: I use to like Chicago style pizza… Till I tasted New York style pizza Now… I love Chicago style pizza.
  6. I use to like New York style pizza… Till I tasted Chicago style pizza Now… I love New York style pizza.
  7. Sesame Street Jokes: Where should you visit after Sesame Street?… Thyme Square.
  8. Vampire Jokes: Which building does Dracula visit in New York?… The Vampire State Building. 
  9. What did the Statue of Liberty say to the New Year’s Eve ball?… “You’re looking a little down tonight!”
  10. Why is it called Sesame Street?… They couldn’t call it Thyme Square.
  11. A grandfather from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. He told her rabbi he had two final requests. First, he wanted to be cremated, and second, he wanted her ashes scattered over Yankee Stadium. “Yankee Stadium!” the rabbi exclaimed. “Why Yankee Stadium?” “Then I’ll be sure my son visits me once a week.”
  12. Camping Jokes: Where do cows go camping?… Moo York. 
  13. What is the puppy’s favorite city?… New Yorkie!
  14. Camping Jokes: Where do eggs go camping?… New Yolk City! 
  15. Where do cows go on vacation?… Moo York.
  16. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… Because she can’t sit down.
  17. What state do dogs like?… New Yorkie.
  18. What do you call a group of cows that judge a book?… The Moo-York-Times!
  19. What did the New York flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved! (Top Flag Day Jokes)
  20. If the New York Knicks were chasing the New York Yankees team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  21. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.” Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  22. What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps. (Top Winter Jokes)
  23. Why can fish measure distances so well?… Because they have their own scales.
  24. Did you hear about the power outage in the New York library?… Thirty people were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  25. Dog Jokes: How did the dog get from Boston to New York?… He took a Greyhound.
  26. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?…The Americans licked the British. (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  27. What do you call an American revolutionary who draws cartoons?…Yankee Doodler. (Top 4th of July Jokes)
  28. What Great Lake should you avoid on Friday the 13th?… Lake Erie.

  29. What did the sea say to the Long Island Shore?… Nothing, it just waved!

  30. What do Derek Jeter and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
  31. Did you hear about the map that was mugged?… It was rolled by the map librarian.
  32. How did the geography student drown?… His grades were below C-level. (Top Teacher Jokes)
  33. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Hudson River!
  34. What is a nautical chart’s best pitch?… The depth curve. (Top Baseball Jokes)
  35. Where do you find the Atlantic Ocean without water?… On a map! (Top Geography Jokes)
  36. What is the tallest building in New York?… The New York  Library of course, it has the most stories!
  37. Where do New York fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Hudson River.
  38. Why does the Phil Simms know all the map symbols?… Because he’s a legend.
  39. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The New York Turnpike!
  40. What’s in the middle of the (Atlantic) ocean?… Letter E! (Top Geography Jokes)
  41. What do Babe Ruth and a map key have in common?… Both are legends. (Top Geography Jokes)
  42. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: New York. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Boston! (Top Teacher Jokes)
  43. If a plane crashed on the border of New York and Connecticut, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Top Geography Jokes)
  44. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Hudson River! (Top Geography Jokes)
  45. If the Brooklyn Nets were chasing the New York Mets team, what time would it be?… Five after nine. (9:05)
  46. If the the New York Yankees were chasing New York Knicks, what time would it be?… Nine after five. (5:09)
  47. If the the New York Mets were chasing Brooklyn Nets, what time would it be?… Nine after five. (5:09)
  48. What was the Yankees favorite food in the Revolutionary War?…Chicken Catch-a-Tory! (Top 4th of July Jokes)