101 Memorial Day Jokes

by | May 25, 2026 | Dads, Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Memorial Day jokes. 
  2. Why are there no knock knock jokes about America?… Because freedom rings! 
  3. Teacher: 250+ yrs ago, our 4 fathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War. Student: They were strong, 4 men defeating an army!” 
  4. A nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about Memorial Day Weekend. “We live in a great country. We should be happy that we are all free.” A little boy came walking up to her. He stood with his hands on his hips & said. . . .“I’m not free. I’m 4.” 
  5. On Memorial Day, the teacher asked the students, ”Do you know why God created wars?” One student: To teach us, geography?
  6. What kind of tea did the American colonists want?… Liberty. 
  7. How many feet are in a yard?… It depends how many people have come to the Memorial Day
  8. MemorialDay PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers. 
  9. Navy Jokes: Navy captain: Change your course, 10 degrees W Light: Change yours 10 degrees E” Captain annoyed “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” “Seaman 1st Class. You must change your course, sir.” Captain “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Light final message: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
  10. The biggest honor I can bestow upon America this Memorial Day is not taking my shirt off. 
  11. What do army guys read on Memorial Day?… Magazine. 
  12. The only traffic I plan to encounter this Memorial Day weekend is on the internet. 
  13. What was the most popular #dance in 1776?… Indepen-dance.  #MemorialDayWeekend #MemorialDay #DWTS
  14. @NWS @WeberGrills!  I hope it doesn’t #rain on Memorial Day. Or else we’re going to have a lot of spare ribs.  #MemorialDayWeekend #MemorialDay #MemorialDay2024 #weather
  15. @pragmaticmom! In the #military, how do you refer to #children?… Infantry.  #MemorialDayWeekend #MemorialDay #MemorialDay2024 #moms #dads #babies
  16. What was General Washington’s favorite #tree?…The infan-tree! 
  17. @NAPPYTABS @GPlusinfo @GrandparentLink @BGrandparents! My great-grandfather fought with #Napoleon, my grandfather fought with the French & my father fought with the Americans…. Your relatives couldn’t get along with anyone, could they? https://bit.ly/2SBpqcg #MemorialDay
  18. It’s going to be a hot #MemorialDayWeekend, so our town’s ice store is having a #liquidation sale. 
  19. What did the #hamburger say to the #hotdog on #MemorialDay?… Let’s #ketchup and #relish this holiday! 
  20. Why was the Memorial Day #barbecue so lively?… Because the grill sergeant was in charge! 
  21. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite #MemorialDay snack?… #Firecrackers. 
  22. How did George Washington speak to during his 1st presidential #Inauguration?…. In general terms.
  23. What are the two main rules in the #Army?… 1. The commanding officer is always right. 2. If the commanding officer is not right, see #1. 
  24. What do you call a military #tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. 
  25. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day. 
  26. A Great American Book Never Written: “The Parts of the National Anthem” by Homer D. Brave. 
  27. High School Reunion: At a 10-year high school reunion, a serviceman and a lawyer walk into the men’s room. After using the urinal, the serviceman zips up and heads for the door. The young lawyer while using the sink states, “Wow, had you gone to college maybe you would have learned to wash your hands!” 
  28. Soldiers in Heaven Son: Don’t soldiers go to heaven? Mom “Of course they do! Why do you ask? Son: So many #soldiers have beards but I never saw any pictures of angels with beards. Mom“Oh, that’s because most vets who go to Heaven get there by a close shave.”
  29. Which month do #soldiers dread the most?… #March.  #MemorialDayWeekend #MemorialDay
  30. @MountVernon! What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the #Delaware?…”Get in the boat, men!”  #MemorialDay2024 #MemorialDayWeekend 
  31. e can fly in the #AirForce either. 
  32. Did you hear about the guy who put little G.I. Joe soldiers at the bottom of his #coffee cup?… He’d heard that the best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup! 
  33. What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?… A seasoned veteran! 
  34. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Memorial Day? 
  35. What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “#Tarzan Stripes Forever”! 
  36. If Harrison Ford’s son were in the #Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. 
  37. How is a bag of #popcorn like an #army?… It has lots of kernels. 
  38. #Navy jet #pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? 
  39. Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the navy can fathom it.
  40. “If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn’t have declared their independence from it.” Stephen Colbert 
  41. What was the name of the worm #army?… The #Apple Corps.
  42. Father William, the old priest, made it a practice to visit the parish school one day a week. He walked into the 4th grade class, where the children were studying the states, and asked them how many states they could name. They came up with about 40 names.  Father William jokingly told them that in his day students knew the names of all the states. One lad raised his hand and said, Yes sir, but in those days there were only 13 states.
  43. What grades do you need to join the #Navy?… 7 C’s. 
  44. What color are #military #submarines?… Deep navy. 
  45. The 2012 film #Lincoln is doing well in theaters, historically this has not been true. 
  46. British people say that we as Americans go overboard with the #4thofJuly. When really the only thing that went overboard was their #tea.
  47. How much #trash do you have to throw in the ocean to make a new country?… None, just some #tea. 
  48. Why did the sailor join the #navy?… Because he wanted to see the #sea! 
  49. What did the #Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later” 
  50. How did American colonists’ #dogs protest against #England?… The #Boston Flea Party. 
  51. Did you know you can’t eat #icecream in the #military?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. 
  52. Teacher: “Which son of old #Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?” Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.” 
  53. What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw #Revere. 
  54. Did you hear about the #artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler. 
  55. Who was the biggest jokester in George Washington’s army?… Laughayette. 
  56. Why was the #Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. 
  57. What was Thomas Jefferson’s favorite dessert?… Monti #jello. 
  58. Who wins most of the medals for bravery in Burger Land?… The meatball heroes! 
  59. Why do we celebrate Memorial Day?… Because it’s the one day a year we can #BBQ without feeling guilty! 
  60. Teacher: “True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in #Philadelphia. Student: “False. It was written in #ink.” 
  61. How much space do these Memorial Day jokes require?… A Gigglebyte. 
  62. What #fruit do #soldiers hate?… The Pommegranade. 
  63. What famous #pig signed the Declaration of Independence?… John Hamcock! 
  64. What do you call an AWESOME American drawing by a child?… A Yankee Doodle Dandy! 
  65. What did the colonists wear to the #Boston #Tea Party?… Tea-shirts.  
  66. Teacher: “Who wrote: Oh say, can you see?” Student: “An eye doctor?” 
  67. Did you hear about the tree who deserted the forest at the end of fall… He was absent without leaves! 
  68. What’s a ghost soldier’s favorite food on Memorial Day?… Boo-burgers.
  69. Do they have a #4thofJuly in #England?… Of course. That’s how they get from the 3rd to the 5th. 
  70. What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?… The Battle of Bonkers Hill. 
  71. Why were the first #Pennsylvania settlers like #ants?… Because they lived in colonies. 
  72. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Memorial Day knock-knock joke? 
  73. What’s the difference between a #duck & George Washington?… One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill! 
  74. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even. 
  75. Why did the British cross the Atlantic?… To get to the other tide! 
  76. “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?”… “On the bottom!” 
  77. What did Paul Revere say at the end of his historic ride?… I’ve got to get a softer saddle! 
  78. What has four legs, a shiny nose, and fought for #England?… #Rudolph the Redcoat #Reindeer! 
  79. What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?… A bald beagle!. 
  80. What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?… Mt. Vermin! 
  81. A little boy just couldn’t learn. One day his teacher asked him who signed the Declaration of Independence. He didn’t know. For almost a week she asked him the same question every day, but still he couldn’t come up with the right answer. Finally, in desperation, she called the boy’s father to her office. “Your boy won’t tell me who signed the Declaration of Independence,” she complained. “Come here, son, and sit down,” the dad said to the boy. “Now if you signed that crazy thing, just admit it so we can get out of here!”
  82. If you want to avoid #traffic this memorial day then avoid #traveling on Memorial Day Weekend. 
  83. A recruiter asks an #octopus if he wants to join the #Army… The octopus says no thanks I’m #army enough as it is.
  84. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Memorial Day knock knock jokes? 
  85. Why didn’t Washington make a reservation to the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere! 
  86. What’s red, white and blue?… Our flag, of course. And a sad #candy cane!  
  87. Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from #Boston to #Lexington?… Because the horse was too heavy to carry! 
  88. Did you hear about the #SuperBowl player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? 
  89. What does the Statue of Liberty stand for?… It can’t sit down. 
  90. What is Uncle Sam’s favorite snack?… #Firecrackers. 
  91. How do you memorialize the death of a planet?… You write an orbituary. 
  92. What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?… A fire cracker. 
  93. What’s big, cracked, and carries your #luggage?… The Liberty Bellhop! 
  94. How do soldiers greet each other?… With a handshake! Why did the soldier bring a ladder to the Memorial Day parade?… To reach new heights! 
  95. What’s the difference between a soldier and a pirate?… One says “aye” and the other says “aye aye!”
  96. Why did the soldier sleep under a tank? …Because he wanted to be a tank-teddy bear!
  97. What do you get when you cross a soldier and a skunk?… An odoriferous combatant!
  98. Why did the soldier wear a striped shirt?… Because he wanted to blend in with his platoon!
  99. Why did the soldier take his bed to war?… So he could have a comfortable bunk!
  100. What did the soldier say to his sergeant when he found out they were going on a training exercise? “Sir, I thought you said we were going to an ice cream social!”
  101. What is red, white, blue, and yellow?… A star-spangled banana.