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Google Search “Halloween Jokes”
- Witch Jokes: I thought about becoming a witch… so I tried that for a spell.
- Nurse Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.”
- Dog Jokes: What kind of dog does Dracula have?… A bloodhound!
- Friday the 13th Jokes: Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?… Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day.
- Vampire Jokes: Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal?… He heard it had great circulation.
- Why didn’t Dracula have any friends?…He was a pain in the neck!
- What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Orange…Orange who?…Orange you glad it’s Halloween?!
- Skeleton Jokes: What do skeletons say before they start to eat?…Bone appetite.
- Music Jokes: What is a mummy’s favorite type of music?… Rap music.
- Skeleton Jokes: What do you call a skeleton that lies on its grave?… Lazy bones!
- Vampire Jokes: When do vampires like horse racing?… When it’s neck and neck!
- Who won the zombie war?… Nobody, it was dead even.
- Teacher Jokes for October: What school subject is a witch good at?… Spelling.
- Teacher Jokes for October: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?… Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts serve for dessert?…I scream.
- What monster wears the most clothes?…A werewolf!
- Who won the Halloween skeleton beauty contest?… No body.
- Vampire Jokes: Where does a vampire keep his money?… In a blood bank.
- Ghost Jokes: What did one ghost say to the other ghost?… “Long time no see.”
- Vampire Jokes: What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?… Frostbite.
- Ghost Jokes: What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?… Dead ringers.
- Ghost Jokes: What does a ghost keep in its stable?… Nightmares.
- Who lives in the scary Hundred Acre Wood?… Winnie the Boo.
- What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?… A pumpkin patch.
- Ghost Jokes: What pants do ghosts wear?… BOO jeans.
- Vampire Jokes: Knock knock…Who’s there?…Ivana…Ivana who?…Ivana suck your blood.
- Witch Jokes: What do you call two witches who share a broom?…Broom mates.
- Skeleton Jokes: What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?… The trombone.
- What key opens a Haunted House?… A spooKEY!
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts use to wash their hair?… Shamboo!
- Vampire Jokes: Which building does Dracula visit in New York?… The Vampire State Building.
- Where do most werewolves live?… In Howllywood, California
- Where do most goblins live?… in North and South Scarolina.
- Ghost Jokes: Where do baby ghosts go when their mom goes to work?… Day scare!
- Where do movie stars go on Halloween?… MaliBOO!
- How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?… All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts. (Top Donut Day Jokes)
- What does a bird say at Halloween?…”Twick or tweet.”
- Vampire Jokes: What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?…A nectarine.
- Ghost Jokes: What is the problem with two twin witches?… You never know which witch is which!
- Ghost Jokes: What does a ghost call his mom and dad?… His transparents.
- Ghost Jokes: How do phantoms travel?… Ghost to ghost.
- What kind of TV do you find inside a haunted house?… A wide scream TV.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why don’t skeletons play music in church?…They have no organs.
- Ghost Jokes: Where do you go when a ghost is chasing you?…To the living room!
- Ghost Jokes: Where do ghosts get their mail?…At the ghost office.
- What do you read on Halloween?…BOO-ks
- Cheese Jokes: What do cheese makers dance to on Halloween?… The muenster mash!
- Cheese Jokes: What do you get when you cross a goblin and cheese?… Muenster cheese.
- Tutoring Jokes: Why did the little vampires stay up all night with his tutor?… They were studying for a blood test.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite fruit?… Booberries!
- Witch Jokes: What does a witch use to keep her hair up?… Scarespray!
- Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?… Because they have a lot of spirit.
- Dog Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite trick to do on Halloween?… Play dead.
- Vampire Jokes: What did one casket say to the other casket?…”Is that you coffin?” (coughing).
- Buck Moon Jokes: July 10, 2025 is the Full Buck Moon… It also is the official start of Halloween Candy Season.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a Ghost’s favorite food?… HamBoogers.
- What did the mummy gymnastics coach say at the end of practice?… “Let’s wrap this up!”
- Ghost Jokes: What is in a ghost’s nose?… Boogers
- Witch Jokes: What do you call a nervous witch?… A twitch.
- Witch Jokes: What do you call a witch at the beach?…A sand-witch.
- What do you call a mummy eating in bed?… A crummy mummy.
- Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?… Because you can see right through him.
- Vampire Jokes: How do you say goodbye to a vampire?… So long sucker!
- Ghost Jokes: What happens when a ghost haunts a theater?…The actors get stage fright.
- What song do vampires hate?…”You are my sunshine!”
- What’s a vampire’s favorite part of the guitar?…The neck.
- Vampire Jokes: What kind of dog does a vampire have?… A bloodhound.
- Skeleton Jokes: How do you make a skeleton laugh?… Tickle its funnybone!
- What kind of boat do werewolves like?… blood vessels.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?… Because he had no body to go with.
- Vampire Jokes: What happens when two vampires meet?… It was love at first bite!
- Ghost Jokes: What tops off a ghost’s ice cream sundae?… Whipped scream and a cherry.
- Skeleton Jokes: What do you get if you cross a skeleton with a famous detective?… Sherlock Bones!
- What do Italian’s eat on Halloween?… Fettucinni Afraid-o
- What do you call a little monsters parents?… mummy and deady.
- Why doesn’t a witch wear a flat hat?…Because there’s no point in it!
- What did the Mummy movie director say when the final scene was done?… Ok, that’s a wrap.
- Vampire Jokes: How does a girl vampire flirt?… She bats her eyes.
- Vampire Jokes: Why did Dracula go to the dentist?… He had a fang-ache.
- Why don’t mummies take vacations?… They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
- Ghost Jokes: Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?… Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
- Ghost Jokes: Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?… He didn’t have a haunting license.
- Vampire Jokes: Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?… At the casketeria.
- Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?… Because everyone was a goblin!
- Ghost Jokes: What does a panda ghost eat?…. Bam-BOO!
- Ghost Jokes: Why is it hard for a ghost to tell a lie?…Because you can see right through him.
- Vampire Jokes: Who did Dracula bring to the prom?… His ghoul friend.
- Ghost Jokes: What did the mummy ghost say to the noisy young ghost who kept interrupting?…”Spook when you’re spooken to.”
- Vampire Jokes: What do vampires never order at a cafe?…A STAKE sandwich!
- Vampire Jokes: What kind of mail does a celebrity vampire get?… Fang mail!
- Vampire Jokes: What kind of boat do werewolves and vampires like?… blood vessels.
- Witch Jokes: What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?… A chicken sand witch.
- How was Frankenstien’s birth?…Shocking.
- Ghost Jokes: What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?… A boo-tie.
- What do you call an overweight pumpkin?…A plumpkin!
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite band?… The Boos Brothers
- Vampire Jokes: What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?… Count Quackula!
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite pie?… Booberry pie!
- Witch Jokes: What do witches call for in a hotel room?… Broom service.
- Skeleton Jokes: What did the skeleton order with his drink?… A mop.
- Why did the mummy get a headache?… Because he was GOBLIN his candy!
- Ghost Jokes: Where did the ghost go on vacation?… The BOO-hamas!
- Skeleton Jokes: What is a Skeleton’s favorite song?… Bad to the Bone.
- Ghost Jokes: Whats a ghost’s favorite type of car?… A boo-ick
- Ghost Jokes: Where do ghost go for fun?…To the boo-vies.
- Book Jokes: Why did Dracula go to the library?… He wanted a good book to sink his teeth into!
- What do you get when you cross a vampire with a mummy?… Either a flying bandage or a gift wrapped bat!
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts eat for breakfast?… Cereal and Boo-Berries.
- Ghost Jokes: Where do ghosts buy their food?…. At the ghost-ery store!
- What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel, Poodle and a ghost?… A cocker poodle boo.
- Ghost Jokes: How do ghosts like their eggs?…Terror-fried.
- Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd.
- Witch Jokes: How do you make a witch itch?…Take away her W.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why couldn’t the skeleton cross the road?…Because he didn’t have the guts.
- Vampire Jokes: Why did the vampire give up acting?…Because he couldn’t find a part he could sink his teeth into.
- Vampire Jokes: A book never written: “Did a Vampire Bite Me?” by Chick Yerneck.
- Vampire Jokes: What is a vampire’s favorite dance?… The Fang-Dango.
- Vampire Jokes: Why are vampires so easy to fool?… Because they’re suckers.
- Vampire Jokes: What do you call a vampire that lives in a kitchen?… Count Spatula.
- Vampire Jokes: What would you get if you crossed a vampire and a teacher?… Lots of blood tests!
- Vampire Jokes: What’s a Vampire’s favorite song?… Another one bites the dust!
- Vampire Jokes: What songs does Dracula hate?…”You Are My Sunshine” and “Sunshine on my Shoulders.”
- Ghost Jokes: What did the ghost say to the man at the coffee shop?… Scream or sugar!
- Skeleton Jokes: Why was the skeleton scared to cross the road?…Because there was a dog on the other side.
- Whom do monsters buy their cookies from?… The Ghoul Scouts.
- Vampire Jokes: What is Dracula’s favorite circus act?… He always goes for the juggler!
- Ghost Jokes: What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?… You are the most booooooooo-tiful thing I have ever seen!
- Why does a cemetery have to keep a fence around it?… People are dying to get in!
- Witch Jokes: What do they teach in witching school?… Spelling.
- Witch Jokes: What do you call a witch’s garage?… A broom closet.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to school?… His heart wasn’t in it.
- Vampire Jokes: What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?…Auld Fang Syne!
- Ghost Jokes: What did the ghost teacher say to her class?…”Watch the board and I’ll go through it again.”
- Ghost Jokes: Why don’t ghosts like rain on Halloween?… It dampens their spirits!
- Ghost Jokes: Why don’t ghost have bands?…They get booooooooooed.
- What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?… A toasty ghosty.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why didn’t the skeleton want to go to the dance?…Because he had no body to go with.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why did the skeleton stand in the corner during his prom?…Because he had no body to dance with!
- Which monster t is the best dancer?… The Boogie Man!
- Witch Jokes: What is a witch’s favorite food?…Goulash.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why can’t you tell a skeleton a secret?…Because it goes in one ear and out the other.
- Ghost Jokes: A book never written: “Ghost Hunting” by E. Gadd.
- Ghost Jokes: Where did the ghost get it’s hair done?…At the boo-ty shop.
- Ghost Jokes: What kind of candy won’t a ghost touch?…Life Savers.
- Ghost Jokes: Why was the little ghost crying?…Because he wanted his mummy.
- What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.”
- Ghost Jokes: What do you get when you cross a moose and a ghost?…A cariboo!
- Vampire Jokes: What do you get when you cross a mummy with a vampire bat?… A flying Band-Aid.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite ride?… A roller-ghoster.
- Why did the Cyclops close his school?…Because he only had one pupil.
- Witch Jokes: Why do witches fly around on broomsticks?…Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
- Where did the goblin throw the football?… Over the ghoul line.
- Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?… it raises their spirits.
- What did the little ghost say to his mom?…”I’ve got a boo boo.”
- Ghost Jokes: What did the mother ghost say to her kids in the car?… Fasten your sheet belts.
- Ghost Jokes: What do you do when you see a ghost?… Run away of course!
- Vampire Jokes: What do you call a vampire 200 miles from a blood bank?… A cab.
- What did the werewolf eat after he’d had his teeth cleaned?… The dentist.
- What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?…Ghoul-aid!
- What do you call a mummy eating in bed?…A crummy mummy.
- Skeleton Jokes: What is a skeleton’s favorite drink?…Milk, it’s white and good for your bones.
- Why are all Superman costumes tight?… They’re all size S.
- Ghost Jokes: What do you call ghosts that ring doorbells?…Dead ringers.
- What kind of streets do zombies live on?… Dead-ends.
- Ghost Jokes: What do ghosts eat for supper?… Spooketi
- What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?… Candy corneas.
- Who are some of the werewolves cousins?… The whatwolves, the whowolves and the when wolves.
- What do moms dress up as on Halloween?… Mummies!
- Ghost Jokes: What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?… He is mist.
- Why don’t mummies take vacations?…They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind.
- I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween I stand up inside Jack O Lanterns. What am I?… A candle.
- What is worse than being a three hundred pound witch?…Being her broom.
- Ghost Jokes: What did one ghost say to the other?…”Do you believe in people?!”
- Skeleton Jokes: What do skeletons say at the front door?…”Crick or creak!”
- What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?…Any old girl he can dig up.
- Why was the big hairy, two-headed monster top of the class in school?… Because two heads are better than one.
- Vampire Jokes: Frankenstein and Dracula had a tennis match. Who won?…Frankenstein, because Dracula sucks! (sorry PG 13)
- What do monsters order in fast food restaurants?…French FRIGHTS!
- Ghost Jokes: Why don’t you eat ghosts?…They’ll go right through you.
- What games do bats like to play on Halloween?… Anything with a ball.
- Vampire Jokes: Why can’t Dracula play baseball?…He lost his bat.
- Witch Jokes: Monster: It is a very hot day today! Witch: So, can I make you a lemonade? Monster: Yes! Witch: Poof! You’re lemonade!
- What time is it when you see costumes, a house, candy and hear trick-or-treat?…Halloween!
- What do you get when you cross a hot dog and Halloween?…A Hallo-weenie!
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Wolves say…Wolves say who?…Wolves say Happy HOWL-oween!
- Ghost Jokes: Knock knock…Who’s there?…Boo!…Boo who?…No, no, don’t cry! I was just kidding.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
- What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi.
- Knock knock…Who’s there?…Frank…Frank who?…Frankenstein!
- Ghost Jokes: Knock knock..Who’s there?…The ghost and the invisible man…The ghost and the invisible man who?…Long time no see!
- Skeleton Jokes: Why did the skeleton cross the road?… To get to the body shop.
- What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?… “Trike or Treat”?
- When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?… When you’re a mouse.
- What did one owl say to the other owl?… Happy Owl-ween!
- Skeleton Jokes: Why is a skeleton so mean?… He doesn’t have a heart.
- What goes around a haunted house and never stops?… A fence.
- Vampire Jokes: What do vampires take when they are sick?… Coffin drops!
- What’s a monster’s favorite bean?… A human bean.
- Who was the most famous ghost detective?… Sherlock Moans.
- What do you call two spiders that just got married?… Newlywebbed
- Ghost Jokes: Where does a ghost refuel his porche?…At a ghastly station.
- What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?…. sour-puss
- Vampire Jokes: Why are vampires like false teeth?… They all come out at night.
- Ghost Jokes: What kind of gum do ghosts chew?… Boo Boo Gum.
- Vampire Jokes: Why did Dracula take cold medicine?… To stop his coffin.
- Vampire Jokes: What type of dog does every vampire have?… Bloodhound!
- Vampire Jokes: Riddle: the maker does not want, it the buyer does not use it, and the user does not see it, what is it?… a coffin.
- Why did the man with a knife in his head cross the street?…He was dying to get to the other side!!
- Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?… He didn’t have the guts.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why was the mummy so tense?… Because he was all wound up.
- Vampire Jokes: Why did the vampire need mouthwash?… Because he had bat breath.
- What do you call a monster who poisons corn flakes?… A cereal killer.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why did the skeleton go scuba diving?…Because he wanted to get some muscles!
- What did the bird say on Halloween?… Trick or tweet!
- Skeleton Jokes: Why do skeletons drink milk?…To help their bones!
- Skeleton Jokes: Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights?… He’s all bone & no muscle.
- Skeleton Jokes: Why didn’t the skeleton go to the halloween party?… Because he had no body to go with.
- Vampire Jokes: What did Dracula have for dessert?… Whine & Ice scream
- Vampire Jokes: What is Dracula’s favorite restaurant?… Murder King.
- Ghost Jokes: Why did the policeman ticket the ghost?… It didn’t have a haunting license.
- Ghost Jokes: What are a ghost’s favorite rides at the fair?… The scary-go-round and rollerghoster!
- Ghost Jokes: Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?… It raises their spirits.
- Ghost Jokes: What do you get if you cross Bambi with a ghost?… Bamboo.
- Ghost Jokes: What is a ghost’s favorite dessert?… Booberry pie.
- Why did the monster’s mother knit him three socks for Halloween?… She heard he grew another foot!
- What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?… It Sphinx!
- Skeleton Jokes: How do you make a skeleton laugh?… Tickle its funnybone!