101 Graduation Jokes

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• College Graduation Jokes
• Graduation Jokes
• High School Graduation Jokes

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1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best graduation jokes in the WORLD!
2. College is similar to high school… To a degree.
3. After 72 years since not completing her college course, my Grandma finally went back & earned her very first diploma……I asked her what will she be wearing for her graduation ceremony and she said depends.
4. A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps & gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.
5. I used to get into fights at the drop of a hat. Which is probably why I got fired from my job as a graduation photographer.
6. My 10 year high school reunion was this weekend… I ran into these twin brothers I hadn’t seen since graduation, & I thought to myself.. “Well, you two still look the same.”
7. Teacher: Where did your mom graduate high school? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself.
8. Why did one high school stop organizing graduation ceremonies?… There was too much name-calling in it.
9. What happened when the girl didn’t pass her final exam for her cosmetology degree?… She had to sign up for makeup classes.
10. “When they hand you your diploma, keep moving. Just in case they try to take it back.”
11. I ordered a high school graduation cake for my son…. The baker asked me what I wanted it to say. Wow, talking cakes, who knew?
12. Name a bus you can never enter?… A syllabus.
13. It’s tough out there, but if you take your education & apply yourselves, you will eventually succeed in finding…..an unpaid internship!
14. What kind of school do you graduate from if you’re a giant?… high school!
15. My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena & man was it hot… It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there.
16. How did the student graduate at the top of his class with a major like Chemistry?… I think he felt like he was finally in his element.
17. What did my puppy receive after he graduated from college?… His pedigree.
18. After 12 years of carrying books to school… you’re well prepared for a career in backpacking.
19. I went to an ocean themed graduation party… It was a whale of a time.
20. Why did Christopher Columbus say his compasses and scales were intelligent?… Because they were all graduated.
21. LinkedIn is the worst dating app… All people want to talk about is work and what I plan on doing after graduation.
22. Graduation speeches were invented largely in the belief that college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.
23. My son just graduated from college. My friends asked me what he majored in. I told them he was studying to be an astronaut: he took up space.
24. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?… Sky diving school.
25. The corn will graduate from college tomorrow… We should attend the ceremony and corn-gratulate him!
26. A waiter approaches a table celebrating their daughters graduation. DAD: Our daughter just graduated from SCU with an English degree! Waiter: That’s so great! Congratulations! I actually have a Master’s degree in English Literature myself. Can I get you folks started with some chips & salsa? 
27. I’d advise you graduates to keep your graduation gown… It’s the only outfit you might not outgrow.
28. Why did everyone think the high school valedictorian was so charming?… She was known to be a class act.
29. Why did the fish not end up graduating?… All of his grades were below C level.
30. Why did the graduate bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich!
31. What would you call a vessel filled with college graduates?… A scholarship.
32. What state has the loudest graduations?… ILL-I-NOISE!
33. The ice breaker I used for my graduation speech today… What do you call the speed of an herbal beverage at any given time?… Veloci-tea.
34. Why didn’t the new college course on flying become popular?… Nobody saw it taking off.
35. Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you take the high school diploma, shake the principal’s hand.
36. Class of 2020: When my future children ask me about my high school graduation… And how I answer: “The graduation was great! But the reception was terrible.”  
37. How many PhD candidates do you need to change a single light bulb?… You actually only need one, but it may take more than four years.
38. What did the swordfish say to the marlin on graduation day?… Looking sharp!
39. Why did all the flight school students prefer to study in the airplane compared to on the ground?… They wanted to get high grades in their final exam.
40. Why didn’t the pirate graduate on the Dean’s List?… All of his grades were in the C’s.
41. I got hit by a car on my way to my graduation… The worst part is, I had the right of passage.
42. Why did the graduate put his money in the freezer? … He wanted cold hard cash!
43. Graduation Party: Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?… Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!!
44. Graduation: Where you trade the agony of writing term papers for the agony of writing resumes.
45. Why are graduation ceremonies so warm?… There are thousands of degrees packed in there.
46. What did the college graduate ask when he entered his graduation ceremony?… Is it one degree hotter in here?
47. I spent my time during graduation pretty much the same way I spent it in class… sleeping.
48. At my college graduation I saw a bowl of fruit punch…So I told a bunch of my friends “I want to make a joke which requires some audience participation. “Then, I proceeded to instruct them to stand, single file, in front of the bowl. Once they had, I told them “Here’s the punch line.”
49. Graduations are so immature… You can hardly get to the end without name calling.
50. The best student at the corn college is called the a-corn.
51. What do you tell a bag of popcorn after it graduates from college?… Corn-gratulations.
52. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good graduation joke?
53. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping in the high school graduation?… They woke him up.
54. What did the principal give at the end of the culinary school convocation?… He gave a stirring tribute.
55. What do you buy a friend graduating from Law School?… A law-botomy.
56. One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is.
57. Why was the bread senior such a good student?… He was always on the honor roll.
58. How did the culinary graduate’s final exam go?… She sais it was a piece of cake.
59. How do tall people graduate?… They graduate top of their class.  
60. Why didn’t the sun go to college?… Because it already had a million degrees!
61. My college graduation was held inside the basketball arena & man was it hot. It must have been like 5,000 degrees in there.
62. Why didn’t the pirate make it to the honor roll when he graduated high school?… All of his scores were in the C’s.
63. Teacher: Where did your dad graduate to college? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask him myself.
64. You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you’re leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure – and the biggest challenge – of your young lives: moving back in with your parents
65. Did you hear about the statistics major who ended up homeless when they couldn’t find a job after graduation?… It was a real bad after-math.
66. What happened when they found out about the kidnapping in the high school graduation?… They woke him up.
67. Which did Columbus say was smarter, longitude or latitude?… Longitude, because it has 360 degrees.
68. Why was the baker so excited to go to the graduation party being hosted by her parents?… She was excited because she knew that she was going to have to make a toast!
69. What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management?… It is now my thyme to party!
70. The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate.
71. How many college graduates does it take to change a light bulb?… One, but it may take up to seven years!
72. How did the high school senior make straight A’s?… He used a ruler.
73. Where did the ice cream man graduate high school from?… Sundae school.
74. Why did a broom not graduate from high school?… He was sweeping in the classes.
75. What did the clothes designer say to her son at his graduation?… “I’m Prada you son.”
76. Why was the high school senior so excited to become a pilot?… He wanted to pursue higher education.
77. Where did the surfer complete his high school graduation from?… Boarding school.
78. Why was a married man not allowed to complete his undergraduate degree?… Because he wasn’t a bachelor. 
79. Why didn’t the skeleton go to graduation?… Cause he had ‘no body’ to go with.
80. I’ll be honest. I did not graduate at the top of my class. In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
81. When I finished high school I wanted to take all my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle. But my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was 18, and I could just have his motorcycle. (High School Graduation Jokes)
82. I will never forget my daughter’s words to me at her graduation…”Wow dad. After 18 years you decide to come back…”
83. While watching graduation, I like to think all my students have the same potential. However, when shaking their hands afterwards, I really felt that wasn’t true… It was quite shocking!
84. Chuck Norris graduated college in one hour.
85. What did the dessert say when he realized he was going to see his friends at his convocation for the last time?… I donut want to graduate.
86. What school teaches you how to greet people?… Hi School.
87. Why did the college professor have to wear a pair of sunglasses when he was standing next to all the graduate students that were on the dean’s list?… They were all really bright.
88. What did the bay leaf tell his friends when he became the class valedictorian?… I can’t beleaf I made it this far.
89. What did the turkey say to the vegetable when she got a degree from culinary school?… I yam in awe of your talent.
90. The best student at the corn high school is called the a-corn.
91. What did the father say to his son, the lightbulb, when he was receiving his degree in Optical and Imaging technologies?… You have a very bright future ahead of you.
92. What should you mention to someone who has just graduated from college?… Con-grad-ulations on your degree!
93. Why doesn’t the soda graduate like ranking beverages with carbon at work?… He feels like the job is so-da grading.
94. What degree do wizards graduate in?… Defense Against the Liberal Arts Degree.
95. Why did one college stop organizing graduation ceremonies?… There was too much name-calling in it.What did the relieved college senior say to his friends when he received a passing grade on his final exam?… I’m grad that I’m finally done with that exam and with college.
96. How did that one college have more than 50% of the graduating class in the country’s top percentile?… All the professors had their faculties intact.
97. Why do all the bad high school seniors carry scissors?… They love to cut class.
98. What subject was a common favorite among the snake high school seniors?… Most of them loved hiss-tory.
99. How did the magician ace all of his tests in senior year?… He was really good with trick questions.
100. How did the high school senior get trapped inside of band class?… He forgot the keys inside the piano.
101. What did the buffalo say when he dropped off his son for his last day of college?… Bison.