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- 101 August Jokes
- August Knock Knock Jokes:
- 101 Jokes
- August Jokes:
Google Search “101 August Jokes”
- August Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best August knock knock jokes.
- August 2nd Watermelon Jokes: 101 Watermelon Jokes: When do you go at red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon.
- August 2nd National Ice Cream Sandwich Day: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream) sandwich.
- August 4th is Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: 101 Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: My grandmother bakes chocolate chip cookies the fastest… It literally takes her nana-seconds.
- August 26th is National Dog Day: Dog Jokes: 101 Dog Jokes:
- Teacher: Please use the words “letter carrier” in a sentence. Student: Yes, ma’am. “My dad said that after seeing how many things my mom was bringing on vacation, he would rather letter carrier own luggage.” (Top Teacher Jokes)
- What does a bee do when it is hot?… He takes off his yellow jacket.
- What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?… A hot dog!
- Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy.
- August 9, 2025 Sturgeon Moon: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta see the Sturgeon Full Moon on August 9, 2025.
- How do you prevent a Summer cold?… Catch it in the Winter!
- What do frogs like to drink on a hot summer day?… Croak-o-cola.
- Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer.
- What do whales like to put on their toast?… Jellyfish!
- Why did the robot go on summer vacation?… He needed to recharge his batteries.
- Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?… They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
- What summer vacation destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?… The Canary Islands!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes?… A fsh.
- What did the bread do on vacation?… It loafed around.
- How do teddy bears keep their den cool in summer?… They use bear conditioning!
- Why did the dog stay in the shade?… It did not want to be a hot dog.
- What did the ocean say to the shore?… Nothing it just waved.
- What is a math teacher’s favorite sum?… Summer!
Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (Hurricane Jokes) - Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind knocked me over!
- Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta go to the bathroom before we go!
- Back To School Jokes
- Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year.
- Student: The first day of school is always special to me. It’s the only day of the year when I’m not behind in my homework.
- Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was!
- A book never written: “When Does School Start?” by Wendy Belrings.
- The first day of school is exciting, but so is riding a roller coaster, and I wouldn’t want to do that for nine months in a row either.
- Teacher: What would happen if you took the school bus home? Student: The police would make you bring it back!
- Teacher: What’s big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mother’s day? Student: The school bus!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-4!… B-4 who?… B-4 you go to school, do your homework!
- Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school. Student: Yes, but I didn’t miss it much.
- The first day of school wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t followed by the second day of school, and the third day of school, and then the fourth day of school.
- Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to go to school today?
- Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Gladys… Gladys, who?… Gladys the 1st day of school — no homework!
- Knock Knock… Who’s there!… B-2! B-2 who?…. B-2 school on time!
- What kind of tree does a math teacher climb?… Geometry. (Top Math Jokes)
- Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9! (Top Math Jokes)
- Son: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do. Mom: What was that? Son: My homework!
- Son: I’m not going back to school ever again! Mother: Why not? Son: The teacher doesn’t know a thing, all she does is ask questions!
- What school supply is always tired?… A knapsack!
- What is white when it’s dirty and black when it’s clean?… A blackboard!
- Son: Hey, Mom, I got a hundred in school today! Mom: That’s great. What in? Son: A 40 in Reading and a 60 in Spelling.
- Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with “t.” Student: Today and Tomorrow.
- Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class? Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips!
- Why was school easier for cave people?…. Because there was no history to study! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
- What’s the king of all school supplies?… The ruler.
- WATSON: What school did you go to, Holmes? SHERLOCK: Elementary, my dear Watson! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re a giant?… High school.
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?… Boarding school.
- What kind of school do you go to if you’re King Arthur?… Knight school.
- Mother: Does your teacher like you? Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X’s on my test paper!
- A book never written: “The Best Subject in School” by Jim Class.
- Mother: How do you like your new teacher? Son: I don’t. She told me to sit up front for the present and then she didn’t give me one!
- A math book never written: “High School Math” by Cal Q. Luss. (Top Math Jokes)
- Teacher: I’m your teacher this year. My name is Mr. Wilson. Can you all remember that? Student: If we can’t, we’re going to have one hard time with the 9 times tables. (Top Math Jokes)
- Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
- Teacher: I’ve had to send you to the principal every day this week. What do you have to say for yourself? Student: I’m glad it’s Friday!
- Friend: Our teacher is going to be tough this year. We’ve been instructed to say “Yes, Sir” and “No, Sir.” Other Friend: That’s not unusual. Friend: It is when your teacher’s a woman.
- What are you going to be when you get out of school?… An old man!
- Teacher: Goodness, haven’t you finished washing that blackboard yet? You’ve been at it for an hour. Student: I know, but the more I wash it, the blacker it get.
- Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses on the 1st day of school?… She had bright students! (Top Summer Jokes)
- Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?… Because it was always sweeping during class!
- Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: I want you to write 100 times, “I will come to school prepared.” Student: With what?
- Chemistry Teacher: What is the chemical formula for water? Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. Chemistry Teacher: What are you talking about? Student: Yesterday you said it was H to O. (Top Chemistry Jokes)
- Why did the little vampires stay up all night?… They were studying for a blood test. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- Mother: What did you learn in school today? Son: How to write. Mother: What did you write? Son: I don’t know. They haven’t taught us how to read yet!
- How do bees get to school?… By school buzz!
- Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I ate it. Teacher: Why? Student: You said it was a piece of cake!
- What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
- What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. (Top Social Studies Jokes)
- Teacher: Name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago. Student: Me! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?… Pop quizzes! (Top Elementary School Jokes)
- Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” Student: Okay, what are the words?
- Mom: What did you do at school today? Daughter: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Daughter: That’s right!
- What do little astronauts get when they do their homework?… Gold stars.
- Teacher: How old were you on your last birthday? Student: Seven. Teacher: How old will you be on your next birthday? Student: Nine. Teacher: That’s impossible! STUDENT: No, it isn’t, teacher. I’m eight today.
- Mother: What did you learn during your 1st day of school today? Son: Not enough; I have to go back tomorrow!
- Student: Teacher, I don’t have a pencil. Teacher: How can you come to school without a pencil? Student: I took the bus.
- Teachers always seem happy on the first day of school. That’s because they’re getting paid to be there. We kids have to do it for free.
- Teacher: Name six wild animals. Student: Two lions and four tigers.
- Where do monsters study? In ghoul school. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- Who sits in front of the class in ghoul school?… The creature teacher. (Top Halloween Jokes)
- Student: “Teacher, may I leave the room?” Teacher: “Well, you certainly can’t take it with you.”
- Teacher: Do you know “London Bridge Is Falling Down?” Student: No, but I hope no one gets hurt.
- Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning? Student: About an hour and a half after I arrived at school.
- Teacher: Why did you eat your homework, Joe? Student: Because I don’t have a dog.
- A student came into his kindergarten class with a squirming worm. “What are you doing with that disgusting worm?” asked his teacher.
“We were playing outside and I thought I’d show him my kindergarten.” the student replied. - Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day? Student: I get up early.
- Teacher: I’ll be your teacher this year. Does anybody here know my name? Student: How do you like that? It’s only the first day of school and already we’re having a quiz.
- With tears in his eyes, the little boy told his kindergarten teacher that only one pair of boots was left in the classroom and they weren’t his. The teacher searched and searched, but she couldn’t find any other boots. “Are you sure these boots aren’t yours?” she asked. “I’m sure,” the little boy sobbed. “Mine had snow on them.”
- It was the first day of school. As the principal made his rounds, he heard a terrible commotion coming from one of the classrooms. He rushed in and spotted one boy, taller than the others, who seemed to be making the most noise. He seized the lad, dragged him into the hall, and told him to wait there until he was excused. Returning to the classroom, the principal restored order and lectured the class for half an hour about the importance of good behavior. “Now,” he said, “are there any questions?” One girl stood up timidly. “Please, sir,” she asked, “may we have our teacher back?”
- Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions.
- What is the difference between a school bus driver and a cold?… One knows the roads and one stops the nose!
- Teacher: Name four members of the cat family. Student: Mother, father, sister and brother.
- Son: I won a prize in kindergarten today. The teacher asked me how many legs a hippopotamus had. I said three. Father: Three? How on earth did you win the prize? Son: I came the closest.
- Teacher: If this class doesn’t stop making so much noise I’ll go crazy? Class: Too late, we haven’t made a sound for an hour!
- I show up at the beginning of each school year with a full pencil box and an empty head.
- Mother: How was your first day at school? Son: It was all right except for some man called “Teacher” who kept spoiling all our fun!