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Boston Marathon Jokes for Kids

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Patriots Day jokes.
  2. What dance was very popular in 1776?… Indepen-dance!
  3. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!”
  4. What is Stephen Curry’s favorite holiday?… Patriots Day. It celebrates “the Shot Heard Round the world! (365 Basketball Jokes)
  5. Sam Adams….. should be the official beer of Patriots Day.
  6. What ghost haunted King George III?… The spirit of ‘76!
  7. What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?…Tea-shirts.
  8. What was the Patriots’ favorite food in the Revolutionary War?  Chicken Catch-a-Tory!
  9. What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?… The Americans licked the British.
  10. Teacher: “Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?” Student: “On the bottom!”
  11. What did King George think of the American colonists?… He thought they were revolting!
  12. What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?… Liberty!
  13. What did a patriot put on his dry skin?… Revo-lotion!
  14. How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party.
  15. What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere
  16. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… It cracked me up!
  17. Did you hear about the artist in the Continental Army?… He was a Yankee doodler.
  18. What was General Washington’s favorite tree?… The infan-tree.
  19. Teacher: “Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?”
    Student: “I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.”
  20. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians!