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  • Top 10 Dog Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelTutoringSportsMusic and College.

    Google Search “Top 10 Dog Jokes”

    1. Camping Jokes: First dog: Where do fleas go camping? Second dog: Search me! 
    2. These dog jokes are FUR real funny!!!
    3. What is the difference between a man and a dog?… A man wears trousers, a dog pants.
    4. Bee Jokes: What’s more amazing than a talking dog?… A Spelling Bee.
    5. We love Dog Man… Dav Pilkey should be the official author of National Dog Day.
    6. My dog’s not fat… he’s just a little Husky.
    7. Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.”
    8. Grady the Greyhound would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    9. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?… His bark was much worse than it’s bite!
    10. Book Jokes: Hush puppies… the unofficial dog of the American Library Association.
  • Top 10 Jokes for Each U.S State

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelTutoringSportsMusic and College.

    Google Search “Top 10 Jokes for Each U.S State”

    Alabama Jokes / 101 Alabama Jokes / Top X Accounts for Alabama

    1. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B!
    2. How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama?… One Mississippi.
    3. What is the #1 selling laundry detergent in Alabama?…. (Roll) Tide!
    4. What is the best city to buy a baby shower gift?… Mobile Alabama.
    5. What did the hurricane say to the Alabama coast?… I have my eye on you.
    6. “All I know is, as long as I led the Southeastern Conference in scoring, my grades would be fine.” Charles Barkley
    7. What is the difference between the Atlanta Braves A and Bama “A”…The Bama “A”has a mullet.
    8. How does a man from Alabama hold up his pants?… With a Bible Belt.
    9. Chemistry Jokes: Where is Avogadro’s favorite #vacation spot?… Mole – Bile, Alabama.
    10. Where does everyone in Alabama play games on their phone?… Mobile.

    Alaska Jokes / 101 Alaska Jokes / Top X Accounts for Alaska

    1. Prom Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Alaska… Alaska who?… Alaska her to the prom if you think she will say yes. 
    2. Alaska has its own capital!… Did Juneau that? 
    3. Culturally no one in Alaska dates in the winter. When asked why, one Alaskan replied, “We try, but it’s hard to break the ice.” 
    4. What is Alaska’s official state novel?… “Fifty Shades of Grey.“
    5. Why did the glacier in Alaska go to therapy?… It had a meltdown. (Psychology Jokes)
    6. What did the Bering Sea say to the coast of Alaska?… Nothing, it waved! (Ocean Jokes)
    7. What do you get from an Alaskan cow?…  Ice Cream! (Ice Cream Jokes)
    8. Summer Jokes: Teacher: Where did your mom go for her summer vacation? Student: Alaska. Teacher: Never mind, I’ll ask her myself. 
    9. I went to a fancy restaurant in Alaska. The waiter asked me if I wanted my steak rare, medium, or well done. I said “Doesn’t matter, it’ll be frozen by the time I get it.“
    10. Cat Jokes: What do you call an Alaskan cat on ice?… Purr-ma-frost.

    Arizona Jokes / 101 Arizona Jokes / Top X Accounts for Arizona

    1. Arizona Jokes: So a man from Arizona dies and goes to hell… When he gets there he asks Satan for a blanket. 
    2. What is the #1 drink in Phoenix?… Iced-T, Arizona Iced-t of course.
    3. How hot is it in Arizona?… It is so hot, the cows are giving evaporated milk. 
    4. Book Jokes: I’m reading a book about Arizona history… It’s pretty dry, but I’m sticking with it.
    5. This summer, Arizona is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 128°F… NOT cool. 
    6. Dad Jokes: I have Tuscons… They both live in Arizona. 
    7. Nebraska Jokes: I would tell you a joke about Nebraska… But it’s too corny. If you like dry humor though… I have a good one about Arizona! 
    8. I tried to make a cactus smoothie… It was pointless.
    9. Music Jokes: What’s Arizona’s favorite type of music?… Desert rock!
    10. Covid Jokes: Arizona may be a COVID 19 hot spot… …but at least it’s a dry cough. 

    Arkansas Jokes

    California Jokes

    Colorado Jokes

    Connecticut

    Delaware

    Florida Jokes

    Georgia Jokes: 101 Masters Tournament Jokes

    1. What did Georgia see?… Same thing Arkansas.
    2. Masters Hole #5: What is a favorite golf hole for florists?… Magnolia at Augusta National Golf Course.
    3. What is a Georgia gardener’s favorite golf hole… Flowering Peach at Augusta National Golf Course. 
    4. How does a man from Georgia hold up his pants?… With a bible belt.
    5. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. [state river]
    6. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of Georgia library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
    7. Why do Georgia golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
    8. Why do Georgia golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
    9. Why do Georgia golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
    10. Why do Georgia love

    Hawaii

    Idaho

    Illinois

    Indiana Jokes

    Iowa

    Kansas

    Kentucky

    Louisiana

    Maine Jokes / 101 Maine Jokes / Top X Accounts for Maine

    Maryland

    Massachusetts Jokes 101 Massachusetts Jokes

    1. Welcome to Massachusetts… Where the weather is made up and the seasons do not matter.
    2. Yes, I am from Massachusetts. No I’m not going to pahk the cah in Hahvahd yahd!
    3. If you’re wicked smaht… you’ll never get cahded at the packie! 
    4. 49 States “Please pass the remote” Massachusetts: “Gimme the Clickah!”
    5. If you’re wicked smaht… You go to Harvard!
    6. Massachusetts Movie Review of Wicked: “Wicked Pissah!” (Wizard of Oz Jokes)
    7. Pope Jokes: If you’re from Boston… You’ll know who the cahdnal is & how to take the T to JP.
    8. Boston Celtics Jokes: What famous Southern Rock anthem is the same as the Boston Celtics offense during the 1980s… Free Bird. (Massachusetts Jokes)
    9. Only in Massachusetts would there be a Dunkin Donuts next to a Dunkin Donuts.
    10. 49 States “In the Basement” Massachusetts: “Down Cellah!”

    Michigan

    Minnesota

    Mississippi

    Missouri

    Montana

    Nebraska Jokes

    Nevada

    New Hampshire

    New Jersey

    New Mexico

    New York

    North Carolina

    North Dakota

    Ohio

    Oklahoma

    Oregon

    Pennsylvania Jokes

    Rhode Island

    South Carolina

    South Dakota

    Tennessee

    Texas Jokes

    1. Why was the delegation from the Dallas Dyslexic Republican Association turned away from the Republican National Convention?… Their placard read: ‘We love Taxes.’
    2. What is the Texas state slogan?… Oils Well that ends well
    3. My friend asked me what I thought about the state North of Texas… I told him it’s OK! (Oklahoma Jokes)
    4. What does a Texas Rancher call his cow with no legs?… Ground beef!
    5. What did the Texan say every time he ordered apple pie at a restaurant?… Remember the à la mode! (Ice Cream Jokes)
    6. What’s a Texan’s favorite salad dressing?… Ranch!
    7. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?… He wanted to get a long little doggie!
    8. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Rio Grande (10 Longest Rivers in Texas)
    9. Where in America should you go to feel good about yourself and life?… Fort Worth, Texas!
    10. The waitress brought me the wrong order at Texas Road House, and I told her it was a Miss Steak

    Utah

    Vermont

    Virginia

    Washington

    West

    Virginia

    Wisconsin

    Wyoming Jokes

  • Teachers, Follow that Hashtag!

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelTutoringSportsMusic and College.

    To get the most of out of Twitter, I strongly suggest finding the hashtags that best fit your needs and/or interests and follow them. My Educational Hashtags page has a collection that is constantly growing and covers most subject areas and grade levels.

    Once you start following a hashtag you will encounter passionate educators or those interested in education that freely share and learn with one another. Many of the hashtags have chats once a week that usually cover a topic that has been chosen by the moderator or voted on by the participants. Those one hour chats are wonderful experiences. You can learn so much from people from all over the world. And the great thing is it is a level playing field. I have tweeted on chats with teachers, principals, superintendents, authors, speakers, parents, students, a governor, musician, educational union leader…  My Educational Chats page.

    My How to Take Part in or Moderate a Chat on Twitter page

    One of my self appointed roles on Twitter is to keep those hashtags and chats going. I really need everyone’s help to keep the information up to date. Some chats come and go or are sporadic. It does take a lot of hard work on the part of the moderators to sustain them.
    Cybrary Man can be found on Twitter following a lot of hashtags and helping moderate the weekly #edchats and monthly #engsschat.
    My Town Tutors is a website that connects parents with teachers who tutor. If you are a teacher who tutors, for a limited time, you can register for using promo code: usteachers. Teachers set the hourly and keep 100% of the fees! One of our teachers made $5,000 last year tutoring.
    It is FREE for parents to search for a teacher in their area. Please help us find ONE MORE teacher who tutors!

  • The Role of Educational Robots in Studying in Schools and Colleges

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelMusic and College.

    Technological advances continue to be relevant in travel, healthcare, communication, manufacturing, and education. Educational robots have proven to be important components in supporting the education sector. They can be taught at elementary schools and colleges. 

    The robots enable students to familiarize themselves with robotics knowledge such as the design and operation of robots and programming. They have therefore increased value in learning among all students, including those with disabilities. Find out the role of educational robots in studying in schools and colleges.

    To promote learning through teamwork

    During programming and coding courses, teachers need to pay attention to students’ ability to learn in groups. The students can be encouraged to work in pairs allowing one to be in charge of a program and the other to be in charge of a robot. 

    The learners can achieve better results through exchanging ideas as they work on a common project. The teamwork ability teaches humanity and respect. It allows students to appreciate various ideas and treat them as common aspects. 

    Students should be encouraged to change roles within teams. The group leader’s role should be emphasized because leadership is one of the most important aspects taught in schools. Leaders become directors and managers who are expected to manage their teams effectively. 

    To enhance creativity

    Creativity is about developing new ideas to deal with complex tasks and solve problems. Learning to be creative is a requirement for all students, including those at the lower levels. Teachers can incorporate robots in classes to show students that creativity is linked to science, coding, math, and more. 

    Learners should develop open-ended ways of dealing with challenges that do not lead to a common solution. Students can be encouraged to experiment with things and this can make them more creative. They can also come up with creative ways of writing papers such that they are unique.

    Writing service help

    Students in schools and colleges are expected to express their competency through writing. If you are still at the early stages of learning how to write essays, you can hire professional writers to write for you. Essay writing is comprehensive, demanding, and time-consuming. Writing companies hire professionals who are well-versed with the requirements of a wide range of academic assignments. However, when hiring an academic assignment service, you should evaluate them and consider the ones with the best writing service reviews or many years of experience. Reviews matter a lot and ensure that you are making the right choice.

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    https://www.freepik.com/free-photo/two-friends-doing-science-experiments_11403769.htm

    Promotes mathematical thinking

    Learners should develop mathematical skills at a young age. The programming of robots in their simplest forms supports mathematical calculations, including adding repetitive numbers, measuring distances, and multiples in loop programs. Educational robots do promote not only learning mathematical skills but also tasks related to mathematics.

    Working with robotic for college students or other older children is associated with mathematics and mathematical analysis. Mathematical actions are needed to move a robot and these are defined by relevant formulas and blocks that perform calculations. 

    Supports computer-assisted reflection

    The use of educational robots allows learners to shape programming and computer skills. Students learn how to identify problems, discuss them in groups, analyze them and arrive at the best solution. The programming skills allow students to cultivate a habit of solving problems logically.

    During coding and programming classes, learners can program a robot, perform specific tasks and solve problems. Instead of memorizing things, they are encouraged to use an explorative mind to solve equations and this can enable them to succeed in their careers. In real-life, problems should be solved using diverse approaches, and that of what educational robots help learners to do. 

    Facilitates self-assessment

    Student assessment is an important aspect of the learning process. Educational robots allow students to instantly see the outcomes of their actions without assistance from and their teachers. Thus, they can tell whether they have done well in handling a particular task or not.

    When the learners participate in group work while solving coding and programming tasks, they are also able to assess each other. Peer assessment is an integral part of learning that serves to motivate learners in all disciplines. The assessment comes from identifying how much knowledge is being acquired in the common school tasks. 

    Conclusion

    Educational robots are playing a significant role in studying in schools and colleges. They encourage students to participate in group learning and enhance creativity. The technology supports learners in solving mathematical problems or dealing with other subjects related to mathematics. Learners can shape their programming skills and assess themselves without human intervention. Institutions should be encouraged to invest in educational robots to motivate their learners and simplify the learning process. 

    Author’s Bio: Michael Turner works as the sales head for a new engineering startup and looks after corporate sales and building a strong dealer network. On a part-time basis, he also works for an assignment assistance agency and does thesis, coursework and dissertations. In his free time, he loves writing songs, watches anime and plays tennis.

  • Music Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelMusic and College.

    Google Search “Music Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best music jokes.
    2. Heat Wave Jokes: #1 Rap Concert for a Heat Wave?… Ice T & Ice Cube.
    3. Black Friday Jokes: Why didn’t Handel go shopping?… Because he was baroque.
    4. Tea Jokes: Which composer likes tea the most?… Chai-kovsky.
    5. I asked a pianist if he could play the “Chickpea Song.” He said, “Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?”
    6. Dog Jokes: What is a dog’s favorite instrument?…  A trombone.
    7. Who is a rapper’s favorite cellist?… YO – YO MA!
    8. Corn Moon Jokes: Who is the headline band for the Corn Moon concert?… Korn.
    9. Hurricane Jokes: What is the most popular Jimmy Buffett song during a hurricane?… Trying to Reason with the Hurricane Season.
    10. Prime Day Jokes: What song by U2 is the unofficial is the unofficial song of Amazon Prime Day?… One.
    11. Navy Jokes: Commodores… The unofficial band of the Navy.
    12. Music Jokes: What is the #1 #Clash song during a hurricane for residents?… Should I Stay or Should I Go?
    13. Full Moon Jokes: What is the unofficial song of the full moon?… The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys! 
    14. Gymnastics Jokes: What do you get when cross you a musician with a gymnast?… Rock N’ Roll.
    15. How does a rapper greet his mother?… YO – YO MA!
    16. Psychology Jokes: What song is on every psychiatrist’s playlist?… Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne.
    17. Fishing Jokes: What Steely Dan song is on every fisherman’s play list?… “Reelin’ In The Years.”
    18. Hurricane Jokes: I’m trying to write a song about hurricanes… But at the moment it is just a draft.
    19. Hurricane Jokes: What do you get when you cross a hurricane with a cruise ship full of 1990’s boy bands?… Washed up musicians.
    20. What is an iron worker’s favorite band?… Steely Dan. 
    21. Wizard of Oz Jokes: If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa.
    22. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the footwear Jimmy Buffet wore to his Labor Day Weekend Show?  
    23. What song is on every teacher‘s playlist?… Poetry Man by Phoebe Snow.
    24. Lord of the Rings Jokes: What is Gandalf’s favorite band?… The Eagles!
    25. Psychology Jokes: What song is on every psychiatrist’s playlist?… Crazy by Seal.
    26. I’ve taught my dog to bark along to ‘Sweet Caroline’… He’s a bit of a ruff Diamond…
    27. Field Trip Jokes: Why did the boy stare at the school bus’s radio?….He wanted to watch a car-tune.
    28. What Jimmy Buffett song is on every teacher’s summer playlist ?… “Summerzcool.”
    29. Field Trip Jokes: What is a rapper’s favorite toy to bring on a field trip?…a yo – YO!
    30. Hurricane Jokes: What is on a hurricane’s playlist… Call Me the Breeze by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
    31. Hurricane Jokes: What is a Tropical Storm’s favorite song?… “Rock You Like A Hurricane!”
    32. Watermelon Jokes: Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?… John Cougar Mellen-camp.
    33. What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?… a Sub-woofer.
    34. Music Jokes: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?… Dingo Starr!
    35. Dog Jokes: Who Let the Dogs Out by The Baha Men… The unofficial song of National Dog Day.
    36. Dog Jokes: Three Dog Night… The unofficial band of National Dog Day.
    37. What is the Pope’s least favorite song?… Friend of the Devil by the Grateful Dead.
    38. Oklahoma Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Canoe?… Canoe Who?… Canoe you name America’s Biggest Labor Day Party! (Rocklahoma)
    39. What Steelers wheeler song is great to play at a baseball game when there is a rundown or a pickle?… Stuck in the middle.
    40. Crayola Music Playlist: Gold Dust Woman by Fleetwood Mac
    41. Crayola Music Playlist: The White Album by The Beatles 
    42. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Deep Purple
    43. Geography Jokes: What Peter Gabriel song is on every geography teacher’s playlist?… Solsbury Hill.
    44. Book Jokes: What is a librarian’s favorite Deep Purple song?… Hush!
    45. Rugby Jokes: Who is a rugby player’s favorite country singer?… Darius RUCK er.
    46. What is a spelling teacher’s favorite 80s band?… ABC.
    47. Psychology Jokes: What Jimmy Buffett song is on every psychiatrist’s playlist?… Fruitcakes.
    48. What Seals & Crofts song is on every jeweler’s playlist?… Diamond Girl (1973).
    49. Who are the coolest rappers of all-time?… Ice T & Ice Cube.
    50. What did the dog install in his car to impress all his friends?… A subwoofer!
    51. Wizard of Oz Jokes: Oz: Tin Man, you get a heart. Tin man: Thanks! Oz: Lion, you get courage. Lion: Thanks. Oz: Scarecrow, a brain. Scarecrow: Thanks! Oz: And Dorothy gets to go home…I think that’s everyone. Toto: What about me? Oz: What do you want? Toto: Hmmm…bless the rains in Africa?
    52. Hurricane Jokes: What is on a hurricane’s playlist… Call Me the Breeze by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
    53. Hurricane Jokes: What do you get when you cross a hurricane with a cruise ship full of 1990’s boy bands?… Washed up musicians.
    54. King Jokes: Did the royal family attend the memorial for Ozzy Osbourne?… Of course! He was the “Prince of Darkness.”
    55. King Jokes: What Police song is on the king’s playlist?”King of Pain”
    56. What Jimmy Buffett song is on every geography teacher’s playlist?… Changes in Latitudes.
    57. Lord of the Rings Jokes: I want to make a Lord of the Rings heavy metal band called Nightmare on Helm’s Deep.
    58. Hurricane Jokes: What is a top requested song during a hurricane?… Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones.
    59. What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?… “I must throw that doggie out the window!”
    60. What is a great song for daylight savings?… Time by Hootie & the Blowfish
    61. What is a great song for daylight savings?… Time by Pink Floyd
    62. Full Moon Jokes: What Jimmy Buffet songs are most popular during a full moon?… Beach House On The Moon, Come To The Moon and Everlasting Moon.
    63. Full Moon Jokes: What U2 song is on every Full Moon play list?… Hawkmoon 269.
    64. Lawyer Jokes: What do a harmonica and a lawsuit have in common?… Everyone is relieved when the case is closed. 
    65. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: The Moody Blues.
    66. Crayola Music Playlist: Pink House by John Cougar Mellencamp
    67. Music Jokes: Where did Harry Styles go to school?… Watermelon Sugar High.
    68. Crayola Music Playlist: Nights in White Satin by The Moody Blues.
    69. Crayola Music Playlist: Cherry Bomb by John Cougar Mellencamp
    70. Watermelon Jokes: What kind of summer camp would a toilet, a mountain lion, and a watermelon all go to?… A John Cougar Melon Camp.
    71. Crayola Music Playlist: Yellow and Rose by James Taylor.
    72. Crayola Music Playlist: Sister Golden Hair by America.
    73. What song is on every English teacher’s playlist?… Stories We Could Tell.
    74. What song is on every cardiologist’s playlist?… Piece of my Heart by Janis Joplin
    75. Crayola Music Playlist: Don’t Make My Brown Eyes Blue by Crystal Gayle.
    76. What band is on every American Fourth of July playlist?… Free
    77. What fine young animals song is on every psychiatrist playlist?… She Drives Me Crazy.
    78. Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?… John Cougar Mellen-camp
    79. Math Jokes: What is a favorite band of math teachers who are bird lovers?… The Counting Crows.
    80. Navy Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite band?… Sub-lime
    81. What 80s band is great to listen to, but bad to join?… The Cult.
    82. What song is on every bartender’s playlist?… Closing Time by Semisonic.
    83. What is a geography teacher’s favorite Bruce Springsteen album?… The River.
    84. What song is on every geography teacher’s playlist?… The River by Bruce Springsteen.
    85. What is Dorothy’s favorite Bon Jovi & Jennifer Nettles song?… Who Says You Can’t Go Home
    86. What Bruce Springsteen song is on every marathon runner’s play list?… Born to Run.
    87. Wizard of Oz Jokes: Who is Dorothy’s favorite band?… Toto. 
    88. Shark Jokes: What musical artist is on every shark’s playlist?… Seal.
    89. Bastille Day Jokes: So my friend got annoyed that I kept singing Pompeii by Bastille, so they told me to stop… How am I gonna be an optimist about this?
    90. Wizard of Oz Jokes: What is the Tin Man’s favorite album?… The Blizzard of Ozz by Ozzy Osbourne. The Tin Man loves HeavyMetal. 
    91. What Irish Rock band might need to add a few pounds?… Thin Lizzy.
    92. UB40… the unofficial band of the Midlife Crisis.
    93. President Jokes: Pink Floyd, The Wall… the unofficial album of President Trump‘s immigration policy.
    94. Marathon Jokes: What band is on every Irish marathon runner’s playlist?… Dexy’s Midnight Runners.
    95. What is a golf club’s favorite type of music?… Swing. 
    96. What does a guitarist prefer on his toast?… Jam.
    97. What song do vampires hate?… “House of the Rising Sun.” 
    98. What kind of music are balloons afraid of?… Pop music. 
    99. What’s a pirate’s favorite instrument?… The guit-arrrr! 
    100. What’s a patriot’s favorite type of music?… Revolution-ary tunes!
    101. The pianist convention?… They had several keynote speakers. 
    102. Why was the piano laughing?… Because someone was tickling its ivories. 
    103. Marathon Jokes: What is a marathon runner’s favorite Eagles song?… The Long Run.
    104. Skiing Jokes: What is a great U2 song for skiing?… Put on Your Boots. 
    105. Friday the 13th Jokes: What do evil spirits sing on Friday the 13th?… “Voorhees a jolly good fellow. Voorhees a jolly good fellow.”
    106. Watermelon Jokes: Who is a watermelon’s favorite singer?… John Cougar Melon Camp.
    107. Cape Cod Jokes: What band is on every Cape Cod playlist?… Orleans.
    108. Movie Jokes: What Elton John song is dedicated to Rocky Balboa?… I’m still standing.
    109. Watermelon Jokes: What do you call a mailman who only delivers watermelon?… Post Melone.
    110. Navy Jokes: What’s a sailor’s least favorite type of music?… Heavy rock.
    111. Teacher Jokes for August: What is on every teacher’s playlist?… School Boy Heart by Jimmy Buffett.
    112. Why did the musician break up with his guitar?… There were too many strings attached. 
    113. Ocean Jokes: What would be a great location for the World Oceans Day Concert?… Rhode Island. It is the Ocean State.
    114. Wizard of Oz Jokes: What is a popular song for Wizard of Oz fans?… “Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World” by Israel Kamakawiwoʻole.
    115. Jokes for the Last Day of School: What is the best end of the year gift for a music teacher?… A broken drum. It can’t be beat.
    116. What happens when you play country music backward?… Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life and you get out of prison. 
    117. What song do tornadoes love?… “The Twist.” 
    118. Beach Boys Jokes: The Beach Boys walk into a bar. “Round?” “Round.” “Get a round?” “I’ll get a round!”
    119. What is a rapper’s favorite toy?… YO – YO!
    120. Crayola Music Playlist: Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison.
    121. Astronomy Jokes: What Jimmy Buffett song is on every astronomer’s playlist?… Stars on the Water.
    122. What singer would be useful if you needed a ride?… Van Morrison.
    123. What are a pianist and a sports fan both interested in?… The score.
    124. What part of a turkey is musical?… The drumstick.
    125. What happens if you drop a piano on a military base?… You get A-flat major
    126. Massachusetts Jokes: What is a popular Chris Isaak song in Massachusetts?… Wicked Game.
    127. Navy Jokes: Why did the submarine join the Navy band?… It wanted to master the bass.
    128. What does a Guitar World recommend for your nose?… A pick. 
    129. What do you call it when a jazz singer spills a drink on his piano?… Ragtime. 
    130. What do a good pop song and the measles have in common?… They’re both catchy. 
    131. Who is a lumberjack’s favorite musical group?… Molly Hatchet.
    132. What does a guitarist have in common with a pirate?… Both are known for using a hook.
    133. Why did the girl note break up with the boy note?… He was too sharp with her. 
    134. What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?… “Bach it up.”
    135. Why couldn’t the classical composer concentrate in the saloon?… There was too much Bartók. 
    136. What computer will most likely win the Grammy?… A Dell. 
    137. What do a guitar player’s fingers and lightning have in common?… They never strike in the same place twice. 
    138. What would Bill Gates say to finish off his rap song?.. “Word.” 
    139. Why did the guitarist use a fish to play his instrument?… Because it was a bass guitar.
    140. Baseball Jokes: A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked out to have a talk with him. “I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the pitcher. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.” “When is that?” “Right after the national anthem.”
    141. What do frogs and rabbits have in common?… They both like hip-hop. 
    142. Baseball Jokes: Why are singers good at baseball?… Because they have perfect pitch!
    143. Baseball Jokes: “Why do we sing ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ when we’re already there?”
    144. Astronomy Jokes: Who is an astronomer‘s favorite Beatle?… Ringo Starr.
    145. Shark Jokes: What musical artist is on every shark’s playlist?… Seal.
    146. Cemetery Jokes: What is Vivaldi doing now?… De-composing. 
    147. What was Beethoven’s favorite fruit?… BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA.
    148.  What’s a guitarist’s favorite name for a woman?… Melody. 
    149.  What kind of sink does a pianist like best?… Syncopation. 
    150. How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?… Two. One to do it and one to sing a song about all the good times he had with the old lightbulb.
    151. What’s the difference between a pop guitarist and a jazz guitarist?… A pop guitarist plays three chords in front of a thousand people. A jazz guitarist plays a thousand chords in front of three people. 
    152. What band is on the National Audubon Society playlist?… Yardbirds.
    153. What 80s band is on the National Audubon Society playlist?… A Flock of Seagulls.
    154. What is the unofficial song for a heat wave?… Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot!
    155. Wizard of Oz Jokes: What is Dorthy’s favorite song?… Tin Man by America.
    156. What do you call a laughing piano?… A Yama-hahaha. 
    157. Beach Boys Jokes: What band is the #1 summer band of all time?… The Beach Boys.
    158. Summer Solstice Jokes: I told my friends I was having a solstice party, but they thought I said ‘soulstice’—now we’re all grooving!
    159. Heat Wave Jokes: What is a great song for a Heat Wave?… Here comes the Hot Stepper by Ini Kamoze.
    160. What did the mama guitarist say to the baby guitarist?… “Don’t fret.” 
    161. Which one of Santa’s helpers was the best singer?… Elf-is Presley. 
    162. SiriusXM radio… is no joke!
    163. Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?… All they said was, “Bach, Bach, Bach.” 
    164. Ghost Jokes: What 1985 concert do all ghosts HATE?… Live Aid.
    165. Hot Dog Jokes: What is a gymnast’s favorite 1980’s song?… “I’ll Tumble for Ya” by Culture Club.
    166. Biology Jokes: What does a guitarist recommend for your nose?… A pick. 
    167. Which automotive challenge is a pianist most familiar with?… A flat.
    168. What’s a guitarist’s favorite dairy product?… String cheese. 
    169. Where do pianists go on vacation?… The Florida Keys. 
    170. What is the royal family‘s favorite Thompson Twins song?… King for a Day.
    171. What is a geologists favorite Rolling Stones Album?… Hot Rocks.
    172. What is a ghost’s favorite Norm Greenbaum song?… Spirit in the Sky
    173. Doctor Jokes: What is a chiropractor‘s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… Backstreets.
    174. Social Studies Jokes: What Sam Cooke song is NOT on any social studies teacher’s playlist?… What A Wonderful World (Don’t Know Much About History)
    175. 4th of July Jokes: What band to trees listen to on the 4th of July?… Spruce Springsteen and the Tree Street Band.
    176. Psychology Jokes: What Prince sone is on every psychiatrist’s playlist… Let’s Go Crazy.
    177. Psychology Jokes: What band is on every psychiatrist’s playlist… Lunatic Fringe by Red Rider.
    178. 4th of July Jokes: What band is on every 4th of July playlist?… America.
    179. What band is great if you have car troubles?… Mike + The Mechanics!
    180. Why doesn’t Garth Brooks enjoy mountain climbing?… Because he has friends in low places.
    181. Indy 500 Jokes: What band is popular at the Indy 500?… Mike + The Mechanics!
    182. Daytona 500 Jokes: What band is popular at the Daytona 500?… Mike + The Mechanics!
    183. Fireworks Jokes: What Phil Collins song is dedicated to fireworks on the 4th of July?… In the Air Tonight.
    184. Skiing Jokes: What is the #1 song for ski instructors?… Turn, Turn, Turn by the Byrds.
    185. Geometry Jokes: What Ed Sheeran song is on every geometry teacher’s playlist?… The Shape of You.
    186. My girlfriend is kicking me out of the house because I’m obsessed with rap. She told me Tupac my bags and leave. 
    187. Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?… He was Haydn. 
    188. What’s a pianist’s favorite snack?… A Clef Bar.
    189. What Molly Hatchet song is great to listen to, but not to live by?… Flirting with disaster.
    190. Friday the 13th Jokes: Why was the black cat having a concert on Friday the 13th?… Because she was very meow-sical.
    191. How did Tammy Wynette stay cool on hot days?… She would stand by her fan. 
    192. Crayola Music Playlist: White Rabbit by Jefferson Airplane.
    193. Art Jokes: Stick Figure… a great musical group that describes my artistic ability.
    194. Labor Day Jokes: What is a florist’s least favorite band?… Badflower.
    195. What U2 song is on every magician’s playlist?… Disappearing Act.
    196. Crayola Music Playlist: Black is Black by Los Bravos.
    197. Math Jokes: What song by U2 is a favorite of math teachers?… One.
    198. Prom Jokes: What band should you ask to prom?… Yes.
    199. What band should you ask to marry?… Yes.
    200. What song does no one want to hear on Valentine’s Day?… Heartbreaker by Pat Benatar.
    201. What band does no one want to hear on Valentine’s Day?… Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.
    202. What is a runner‘s favorite Paul McCartney and Wings song?… Band on the Run.
    203. Why can’t rappers take vacations?… They always forget Tupac. 
    204. Homecoming Jokes: What band should you ask to the homecoming dance?… Yes.
    205. Crayola Music Playlist: White Lines by Grandmaster & Melle Mel.
    206. Crayola Music Playlist: Black Betty by Ram Jam.
    207. Crayola Music Playlist: White Wedding by Billy Idol.
    208. For breakfast… Stick Figure goes “Cuckoo for COCO Puffs”
    209. The Elovaters are a great musical group. One of my favorites, but… they have had their ups and downs.
    210. The Elovaters are a great musical group. They make me bounce up and down… I guess that makes sense.
    211. How did the musician get such a perfect sound underwater?… By tuna-ing his guitar.
    212. Wanna hear a joke about staccato?… Never mind—it’s too short. 
    213. Summer Jokes: What Elovaters song should be on every summer playlist?… Endless Summer.
    214. Summer Jokes: What Elovaters song should be on every summer playlist?… Sunburn.
    215. Georgia Jokes: What Elovaters song should be on every Georgia playlist?… Georgia Rain.
    216. Summer Jokes: What is a teacher’s favorite Jimmy Buffett song?… “Summerzcool.”
    217. Cape Cod Jokes: Who is the favorite band of Cape Cod residents?… Orleans.
    218. What U2 to song is popular in Spain?… Spanish eyes.
    219. What Jimmy Buffett song is on every magicians playlist?… Little Miss Magic.
    220. Camping Jokes: What’s a camper’s favorite type of music?… Anything with a good “camp” beat!
    221. What is the goal of a musician and a gangster?… A lot of hits.
    222. What is the favorite Temptations song of Keith Richards’ children?… Papa was a Rolling Stone.
    223. Indy 500 Jokes: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman… the unofficial song of the Indy 500.
    224. Tea Jokes: What kind of tea should you drink when watching the Nutcracker?… Chai-kovsksy.
    225. What’s the American Revolution’s favorite type of music?… Rock and roll—it was all about breaking free!
    226. What is a frog’s favorite Willie Nelson song?… “On the Toad Again.” 
    227. What did the guitarist use to electronically raise and lower his blinds?… A power chord. 
    228. Tea Jokes: What is a classical music fan’s favorite beverage?… Scarla-tea. 
    229. Which one of the Three Stooges was the biggest classical music fan?… Fortissi-Moe. 
    230. What’s the difference between a conductor and God?… God doesn’t think he’s a conductor. 
    231.  What do a guitarist and Paul Bunyon have in common?… They both carry an ax. 
    232. What is the favorite Temptations song of Ronnie Wood’s children?… Papa was a Rolling Stone.
    233. What is the favorite Temptations song of Charlie Watts’ children?… Papa was a Rolling Stone.
    234. Crayola Music Playlist: Old Blue Chair by Kenny Chesney.
    235. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Norm Greenbaum (Spirit in the Sky)
    236. Crayola Music Playlist: Green River by Creedence Clearwater Revival
    237. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Deep Purple
    238. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Red Rider.
    239. Wizard of Oz Jokes: What is Dorothy’s favorite Jimmy Buffett Album?… Off to See the Lizard.
    240. Wizard of Oz Jokes: Where does Dorothy from Oz weigh a pie?… Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh-a-pie! 
    241. What’s a Revolutionary War soldier’s favorite type of music?… Anything with a good “beat!”
    242. Wizard of Oz Jokes: The Tin Man’s favorite type of music?… Heavy metal.
    243. Why aren’t tubas used in country bands?… Because they’re heavy metal. 
    244. Which Star Wars character is a country music fan’s favorite?… Garth Vader. 
    245. Why did the homeowner complain to his gardener?… Because he had bluegrass. 
    246. How does a country musician use “tuba” in a sentence?… “Hey, could you hand me that tuba toothpaste?” 
    247. Friday the 13th Jokes: Voorhees a jolly good fellow’ is the most popular song among witches and spirits to sing on Friday the 13th.
    248. What do you call a rap-battle event between lizards?… A reptile diss function. 
    249. What is Albert Einstein’s rapper name?… MC Hammer Squared. 
    250. What do you call someone who raps about women’s rights?… Feminem. 
    251. What kind of music is best for packaging purple vegetables?… Beatboxing. 
    252. What’s a hip-hop artist’s favorite adhesive?… Mixtape. 
    253. What is a rapper’s favorite candy?… Eminems. 
    254. How did Elvis Presley prefer his chopped salad?… All shook up. 
    255. Why can’t Elton John relax on the weekend?… Because Saturday night’s all right for fighting. 
    256. Why was God annoyed by Bob Dylan?… He kept knockin’ on heaven’s door. 
    257. Why did Linda Ronstadt’s chef improve?… He got tired of her telling him, “You’re no good.” 
    258. How can you tell your relationship with Taylor Swift is over?… Your birthday-cake icing spells out “We Are Never Getting Back Together.”
    259. Why did parents not want their daughters to date Bruce Springsteen?… He kept taking them to the tunnel of love. 
    260. Why did Prince’s parents send him to the optometrist?… He kept seeing purple rain. 
    261. Why did Neil Diamond argue with his wife on their wedding day?… Because she hated that he was forever in blue jeans. 
    262. What did Barbra Streisand say to the King of England?… “Please don’t reign on my parade.”
    263. Earth Day Jokes: Rare Earth… A great band for Earth Day.
    264. Grammar Jokes: Don’t answer Me by the Alan Parsons Project… The official song of the rhetorical question.
    265. Arizona Jokes: Have you heard about Sting’s new business?… He now reposesesses cars in Arizona and lines them up in desert rows.
    266. Doctor Jokes: What band is on the top of every cardiologist’s playlist?… Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin.
    267. 4th of July Jokes: What band is on every 4th of July playlist?… America.
    268. What band is on the top of every geologists playlist?… Sly and the Family Stone.
    269. What band is on every baseball player’s playlist… The outfield.
    270. What band is on every baseball manager’s playlist… The outfield.
    271. What band is on every baseball fan’s playlist… The outfield.
    272. What is a pilot’s favorite Tom Petty song?… Learning to Fly.
    273. What Tom Petty song is on Every cardiologist playlist?… Change of Heart
    274. Change of Heart by Tom Petty… The official song of heart transplants.
    275. What band is on the top of every cardiologist’s playlist?… Heart.
    276. You’re So Bad by Tom Petty… the official song of school detentions.
    277. Do you think the 1980s band Kajagoogoo inspired the Goo Goo Dolls?
    278. What is a Indy 500 driver‘s least favorite U2 song?… Out of control.
    279. What is a ghost’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… Spirit in the night.
    280. What is a jeweler‘s favorite Paul Simon song?… Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes.
    281. What is a pilot’s favorite Foo Fighters’ song?… Learn to Fly.
    282. What is the florist’s favorite Tom Petty song?… Wildflowers.
    283. What Tom Petty song is on every beekeepers playlist… I’m a king bee.
    284. What song is on every magician’s playlist?… Magic Man by Heart.
    285. You’re So Bad by Tom Petty… the official song of school suspensions.
    286. What song is on every cardiologist’s playlist?… Straight From The Heart by Bryan Adams.
    287. You’re So Bad by Tom Petty… the official song of behavior timeouts.
    288. What Ramones song makes pet lovers a little sad?… Pet Semetery.
    289. What is a cosmetologist’s favorite Tom Petty song?… Face in the crowd.
    290. What is a NASCAR driver‘s least favorite U2 song?… Out of control.
    291. What band do exterminators hate?… Ratt.
    292. ORDER THE REST
    293. Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings… the official song of the musicians running club.
    294. Guess who sings share the land. Guess who sings American woman?
    295. Strawberry Moon Jokes: What do you call the Strawberry Moon playing the guitar?… A jam session.
    296. Strawberry Moon Jokes: What song is on the Strawberry Moon playlist?… Strawberry Swing by Coldplay!
    297. Jaws Jokes: What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?… That low key gave me chills.
    298. What was the shark jazz musician’s favorite illegal substance?… Reefer!
    299. What is a shark’s favorite song?… No-fin compares to you by Sinead O’Connor. 
    300. What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”… An M.C. Hammerhead shark.
    301. How was Jaws able to sneak up on people while they were swimming?… Wouldn’t they hear the tuba?
    302. Did you hear about the musician who borrowed money from a loan shark?… He’s in a whole lot of treble. 
    303. Who is the official musician for the Last Day of School?… Alice Cooper singer of the anthem for the last day of school “School’s Out” by (Official Video)
    304. What is the official anthem for the Last Day of School?… “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper (Official Video)
    305. Can you guess the official song of the Last Day of School by Alice Cooper?… “School’s Out” by (Official Video)
    306. National Egg Day: What is an egg’s favorite Michael Jackson song?… Beat It.
    307. Who is Jeff Probst’s favorite music group?… Survivor, obviously.
    308. What singer also makes a great meal?… Meatloaf.
    309. What musical group would you want to bring on a wilderness adventure?… Survivor.
    310. What’s a hiker’s favorite type of music?… Rock and roll!
    311. What band is dead on?… Zombies.
    312. What is peanut butter’s favorite Tom Petty song?… Jamming me.
    313. What band is also a great dessert?… Vanilla Fudge. (Top Song You Keep Me Hanging On)
    314. What is a psychiatrist favorite Van Morrison song? Crazy love. Mountain the official band of hiking
    315. Mountain the official band of national trails day.
    316. What band soars to incredible heights?… The Eagles
    317. What band brings a party down?… Bad Company.
    318. What band would be a horrible place to work?… Bad Company.
    319. What band has it ups and downs?… The elovators
    320. What band is also great at maintaining order? The Police.
    321. What band would you like to have up your sleeve?… Ace (Top song: How Long)
    322. Jimmy Cliff is known for playing different sets every night he likes to leave his audience hanging.
    323. What U2 song is on every cardiologist playlist?… And cat dub/into the heart.
    324. What U2 song is on every cardiologist playlist?… Two Hearts Beat As One
    325. June 1st National Trails Day: I just made a pre-game playlist for basketball. It consists of Peanuts, Eminem, California Raisins and The Cranberries… I call it my Trail Mix. (California Jokes Music Jokes / Hiking Jokes / Peanut Jokes)
    326. Jokes for the Last Day of School: What is a popular song by Europe during the final weeks and days of the school year?… The Final Countdown.
    327. What is the most popular Chicago song around Daylights Savings Time?… Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
    328. Pope Jokes: Is Pope Leo XIV from Chicago the city or the band?
    329. Bee Jokes: What is a bee’s favorite U2 song?… Wild Honey.
    330. Summer Jokes: What is the #1 requested Willie Nelson song in the summer?… Blue Skies.
    331. Hey Sting and Everlast, does the King of Pain live in the House of Pain?
    332. What Welch 80s band is best to wake up to in the morning?… The Alarm.
    333. Summer Jokes: What song from the Alarm is on every meteorologist summer playlist?… Rain in the summertime.
    334. Winnie the Pooh Jokes: What is Winnie the Pooh’s favorite U2 song?… Wild Honey.
    335. Who is a professional wrestler’s favorite rap group?… Tag Team Whomp There it is!
    336. What is the #1 requested Willie James Taylor song in the summer?… Here comes the sun.
    337. If you don’t love Irish music, U2, The Wolftones, or the Pogues… póg mo thóin!
    338. What band has unwavering confidence in their music abilities and each other?… No doubt!
    339. I love Irish music… U2?
    340. Crayola Music Playlist: Yellow by Coldplay.
    341. Is it true?… Coldplay’s is listened to more often during the winter months.
    342. What musical artist is on the Audubon Society’s playlist?… Sheryl Crow.
    343. College Jokes: What singer would have been a great college administrator?… Dean Martin.
    344. Strawberry Moon Jokes: What song is the #1 request for the Strawberry Moon?… Strawberry Fields Forever by The Beatles.
    345. What Michael Jackson song do geologists love?… Rock with me.
    346. Boston Celtics Jokes: What famous Southern Rock anthem is the same as the Boston Celtics offense during the 1980s… Free Bird. (Massachusetts Jokes)
    347. Navy Jokes: What’s a sailor’s least favorite type of music?… Heavy rock.
    348. What do you get when you cross a musician with a gymnast?… Rock N’ Roll.
    349. Pink Moon Jokes: Did you hear about the Pink Moon Concert?… Pink and Pink Floyd are the headliners. They will each be doing a cover of John Mellencamp’s Pink Houses.
    350. Pink Moon Jokes:Who would be the #1 spokesperson for the Pink Moon?… Pink!
    351. Strawberry Moon Jokes: What song is on the Strawberry Moon playlist?… Strawberry Swing by Coldplay!
    352. Crayola Music Playlist: What Rolling Stones song is on the Crayola playlist?… Paint It Black.
    353. Full Moon Jokes: What Jack Johnson song is great for the full moon?… Is one moon enough?
    354. Crayola Music Playlist: What Rolling Stones song is on the Crayola playlist?… Back in black
    355. Ain’t it fun?
    356. Strawberry Moon Jokes: What do you call the Strawberry Moon playing the guitar?… A jam session.
    357. What Irish rap group would struggle as an AirBNB?… House of Pain.
    358. May 5th is Cinco De Mayo: Cinco De Mayo is here!… Let’s give ’em something to taco bout!
    359. Poison… a dangerously good 80s rock band.
    360. Hurricane Jokes: What is the #1 #Clash song during a hurricane?… Should I Stay or Should I Go?
    361. Hurricane Jokes: What is the most popular Jimmy Buffett song during a hurricane?… Trying to Reason with the Hurricane Season.
    362. Hurricane Jokes: Katy Perry sang that after a hurricane comes a rainbow, but you know what else comes after a hurricane?… A moron in a suit.
    363. Pope Jokes: Who is Pope Leo XIV’s favorite band?… Chicago.
    364. Hurricane Jokes: What is on a hurricane’s playlist… Call Me the Breeze by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
    365. Hurricane Jokes: What is a top requested song during a hurricane?… Gimme Shelter by the Rolling Stones.
    366. Hurricane Jokes: This Halloween on the East Coast I heard a lot of people are going to be the Scorpions this Halloween…. Because we’re gonna get rocked like a hurricane.
    367. Hurricane Jokes: I’m trying to write a song about hurricanes… But at the moment it is just a draft.
    368. Hurricane Jokes: What do you get if you a cross a card game with a hurricane?… Bridge over troubled water.
    369. Hurricane Jokes: What is a Tropical Storms favorite song?… “Rock You Like A Hurricane!”
    370. Hurricane Jokes: What is on a storm chaser’s playlist?… Riders on the Storm by the Doors.
    371. Who is the #1 band for the Flower Moon?… Guns and Roses.
    372. Who is a jeweler’s favorite musician?… Neil Diamond.
    373. Prom Jokes: What did the band member use before going to the prom?… A tuba toothpaste!
    374. What do you get when you cross a rapper with your mother?… Yo Yo – Ma.
    375. Cape Cod Jokes: Who is the favorite band of Cape Cod residents?… Orleans.
    376. Cape Cod Jokes: Guess who the headline band is for the Cape Cod concert this summer?… Orleans.
    377. What band goes great with coffee?… Cream.
    378. What band goes great with peaches?… Cream.
    379. Pope Jokes: What do you call a Pope who loves music? A soul-ful leader!
    380. July 21, 1969: What is Neil Armstrong’s favorite Police song?… Walking on the Moon. (Music Jokes)
    381. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?…Plymouth Rock!
    382. What King Harvest song is popular during a full moon?… Dancing in the Moonlight.
    383. Did you know that on the way to the Moon the Apollo 11 crew heard rock music coming from outside?… Mission Control confirmed they were passing through the Van Halen belts.
    384. What is the unofficial song of the full moon?… The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys! 
    385. Boston Jokes: Do you know what would be a great theme song for One Boston Day?… ONE by U2. Boston loves U2 and U2 loves Boston.
    386. What do you call a graduate who loves music?… A note-worthy achiever!
    387. Cinco De Mayo is here!… Let’s give ’em something to taco bout!
    388. Boston Marathon Jokes: What music is blaring at the most difficult part of the Boston Marathon?… Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers at Heartbrea kHill. Stevie Nicks can be heard singing “Stop Dragging My Heart Around.”
    389. 2025 March Madness: Did you know Pitbull, Mr. WorldWide, is playing at March Madness 2025. What a great performer. He is not too good at basketball though…. He travels too much!
    390. April 2nd National Walking Day: What is a great song for National Walking Day?… Walking Man by James Taylor. 
    391. A great song for National Walking Day… Walk Like an Egyptian by the Bangles. 
    392. What is a great U2 song for National Walking Day?… Walk On. 
    393. A great song for National Walking Day… Walk this way by Aerosmith. 
    394. What 2024 Final Four basketball was invited to the prom?… NC State. They have two DJs. DJ Horne and DJ Burns Jr. 
    395. What is a graduates favorite type of music?… Classical.
    396. We love @rockyoriordan! What is a great #U2 song for hiking?… Put on Your Boots. #NationalWalkingDay  #music #walking
    397. We love @STPBand! What is a #truck driver’s favorite #song?… Interstate #Love Song by #StoneTemplePilots. https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #music #STP #trucks
    398. We love @iHeartRadio! What is a top song during a solar eclipse?… Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann’s #Earth Band.  #SolarEclipse #SolarEclipse2024 #GreatAmericanEclipse #music #EarthDay
    399. We love @grlldcheesetruk! What kind of #music does a grilled #Swiss #cheese sandwich like to listen to?… Hole-y music. https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #grilledcheese #NationalGrilledCheeseDay #GrilledCheeseSandwichDay
    400. Masters Tournament Jokes: Is German Masters golfer Stephan Jaeger a fan of Mick Jagger and the Rolling Stones?
      (Music Jokes)
    401. Masters Tournament Jokes: Masters golfer Tommy Fleetwood, do you know if he is a big fan of Fleetwood Mac?
      (Music Jokes)
    402. Masters Tournament Jokes: Is Masters golfer Russell Henley a fan of Don Henley of the Eagles?
      (Music Jokes)
    403. We love @RatedRnB @BerkleeCollege! Which genre of #music appeals to most grilled cheese sandwiches?… R’n’Brie https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR #grilledcheese #R&B #GrilledCheeseSandwichDay #NationalGrilledCheeseDay
    404. We love @BerkleeCollege! Where do #musicians like to watch the Masters?… Hole #12, Golden Bell. https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR #TheMasters #golf #golfing #Masters #music
    405. We love @Rap @HipHopDX @vanillaice! What’s a #grillcheesesandwich maker’s favorite song?… Slice, Slice Baby! https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR #NationalGrilledCheeseDay #Music #cheese #grillcheese #rap
    406. We love @WeVillagePeople! What is a #cheese lover’s favorite #VillagePeople song?… #Nacho Man. https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR  #music #grilledcheese #GrilledCheeseSandwichDay #NationalGrilledCheeseDay
    407. We love @Skynyrd! What famous #SouthernRock anthem is the same as the #Boston #Celtics offense during the 1980s… #FreeBird. https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR #NBA #NBAPlayoffs #BleedGreen #LarryBird
    408. Why did the #music #teacher go to the prom?… He couldn’t resist a good bass-dropping event! https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR #highschool #prom2024 #prom #teaching #education
    409. We love @rockhall @beatlesstory @HardRock @AbbeyRoad @thebeatles Which #Beatles song did the noisy #gymnast like?… Twist & Shout! https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR #gymnastics
    410. We love @BAA @tompetty @StevieNicks! What #music is blaring at the most difficult part of the #BostonMarathon?… #TomPetty and the Heartbreakers at #HeartbreakHill. Stevie Nicks can be heard singing “Stop Dragging My Heart Around.” https://bit.ly/3mGKfxR  #BostonStrong 
    411. Why was the #music #teacher upset after the prom?… The dance was off-key! https://bit.ly/2IxWARw #highschool #prom2024 #prom
    412. We love @Colgate @menswearhouse! What did the #band member use before going to the #prom?… A #tuba #toothpaste! https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #music#highschool #prom2024 
    413. We love @Kleenex @MusicTeacherMag! How does a #middleschool student make a tissue dance?…Put a little boogey in it! https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #music
    414. We love @Pink! Who would be the #1 spokesperson for the #PinkMoon?… Pink! https://www.mytowntutors.com/full-moon-jokes-for-kids/ #FullMoon
    415. #April 22nd is #EarthDay! RT if you agree @GreenDay! Who should headline the #EarthDay2024 Concert?… #GreenDay!  #music
    416. What is #Easter Bunny’s favorite kind of #music?… Hip-hop! https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #moms #dads #hiphop #music #Easter2024
    417. Hawaii Puns: Aloha, is it me you’re looking for?
    418. #April 25th is #WorldPenguinDay! We love @Seal! We love Who is a #penguin’s favorite #pop #music star?… #Seal! https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #penguins
    419. We love @hotelsdotcom @VisitGraceland @tripadvisor @CityOfBoston! What is the #1 #hotel for #runners of the #BostonMarathon?… Heartbreak Hotel. https://bit.ly/3uBgK4o #BostonStrong #HeartbreakHill #Elvis #travel #Graceland
    420. Who are the most popular musical artists for Earth Day?… Green Day and Earth, Wind & Fire.
    421. Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport?… They tried to carry-on my wayward son. (Music Jokes)
    422. If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa.
    423. What is Donald Trump’s favorite Elton John song?… Border song.
    424. What is the National Audubon Society‘s favorite Bob Marley song?… Three Little Birds.
    425. What musical group is adored by the National Audubon Society?… The Partridge family.
    426. What is PETA’s favorite U2 song?… Wild horses.
    427. Book Jokes: What is a librarian’s favorite Simon & Garfunkel songs?… The Sound of Silence.
    428. Crayola Music Playlist: Tangled Up In Blue by Bob Dylan.
    429. What singer do vegetarians hate?… Meatloaf.
    430. Beach Boys Jokes: What is the #1 album for animal lovers?… Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys!
    431. Best bedtime song?… Sleepyhead by the Pillows.
    432. Cinco De Mayo Jokes: Who would be a great band for the Cinco De Mayo Concert?… Red Hot Chili Peppers.
    433. Magic Carpet Ride by Steppenwolf… the unofficial song Disney’s Aladdin ride.
    434. Jaws Jokes: What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?… That low key gave me chills.
    435. What’s the difference between a piano and a tuna?… You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna. 
    436. What happened when C, E-flat and G walked into the bar?… The bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.” 
    437. Why was the musician fired?… The conductor found him too high-flute-in. 
    438. Why was music coming from the printer?… The paper was jamming. 
    439. Beach Boys Jokes: What is the snack the Beach Boys bring to the beach?… Salt Water Taffy.
    440. What march would you play at a jungle parade?… “Tarzan Stripes Forever!”
    441. What is a geometry teacher’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… Prove It All Night.
    442. Who loves singing the patriotic song that starts with, “Oh say, can you see?”… An optometrist.
    443. Heat Wave Jokes: What is a great CD for a heat wave?… Mercury Rising by Sting. 
    444. Pope Jokes: What is the Pope’s favorite Bon Jovi song?… Livin’ on a Prayer.
    445. Wizard of Oz Jokes: What is Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, favorite Elton John Song?… Goodbye Yellow Brick Road!
    446. What type of songs does the new band Duvet play?… Covers. 
    447. What’s an avocado’s favorite music?… Guac ‘n’ roll.
    448. What do you get when you play New Age music backward?… New Age music. 
    449. Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?… To get away from the noise. 
    450. Would be would be great band for a Wolf Moon concert?… Steppenwolf.
    451. Heat Wave Playlist: Hot In Herre by Nelly.
    452. Softball Jokes: Why did the chorus hire the softball player?… Because she had perfect pitch. 
    453. Beach Boys Jokes: Knock Knock…. Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?…. Canoe name the greatest summer band in the history of music? (The Beach Boys)
    454. Who is Dracula’s favorite band?… The Youngbloods (Get Together)
    455. Ocean Jokes: Who would be a great artist for a World Ocean Day concert?… Billy Ocean.
    456. Summer Jokes: What is the most requested summer Electric Light Orchestra song?… Mr. Blue Sky.
    457. Pope Jokes: What is the Pope’s favorite Beach Boys song?… God Only Knows.
    458. Baseball Jokes: What sport do people who listen to loud, deep music from their stereo play?… BASS Ball!
    459. Crayola Music Playlist: Black Betty by Ram Jam.
    460. Crayola Music Playlist: Bluer Than Blue Song by Michael Johnson (1978)
    461. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Pink Floyd
    462. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Barry White
    463. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Cream.
    464. What band is very chill and has a name that is a great model for life?… Simplified.
    465. What is the royal family‘s favorite Billy Ocean song… Caribbean Queen?
    466. Arizona Jokes: What’s Arizona’s favorite type of music?… Desert rock!
    467. Crayola Music Playlist: Red Red Wine by UB40.
    468. Why did the drummer complain about his salad?… It didn’t have any beats. 
    469. What’s a cowboy’s favorite place to listen to music?… The O.K. Chorale. 
    470. What is the most musical part of a snake?… The scales. 
    471. What is a math teacher’s favorite Bruce Springsteen song?… She’s the one black.
    472. Crayola Music Playlist: White room
    473. Crayola Music Playlist: White Wedding by Billy Idol.
    474. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Deep Purple.
    475. Why did the chorus hire the baseball player?… Because he had perfect pitch. 
    476. Softball Jokes: What Sam Cooke song is dedicated to a 3rd base softball coach?… You Send Me.
    477. Crayola Music Hall of Fame: Green Day
    478. The unofficial Song of the Summer Solstice…‘You light up my life!’ by Debbie Boone
    479. Summer Solstice Jokes: What’s a Summer Solstice’s favorite type of music?… Anything with bright, sunny vibes!
    480. Arizona Jokes: What’s an Arizona cloud’s favorite song?… “Here Comes the Sun.”
    481. What’s a sun’s favorite type of music?… Solar-powered rock!
    482. Doctor Jokes: What is every cardiologist playlist?… Listen to Your Heart by Roxette.
    483. Baseball Jokes: What Sam Cooke song is dedicated to a 3rd base baseball coach?… You Send Me.
    484. Summer Solstice Jokes: What did one solstice say to the other?… ‘You light up my life!’
    485. Summer Solstice Jokes: What do you call a sun that can sing?… A hot vocalist!
    486. Summer Solstice Jokes: Why do summer solstice parties always end on a high note?… Because everyone’s in a light-hearted mood!
    487. Daytona 500 Jokes: Fast Car by Tracy Chapman… the unofficial song of the Indy 500.
    488. What is one of the saddest songs by Ziggy Marley?… Cry, Cry, Cry.
    489. What is one of the saddest songs by Johnny Cash?… Cry, Cry, Cry.
    490. What is one of the saddest songs by Coldplay?… Cry, Cry, Cry.
    491. Friday the 13th Jokes: What song does Jason Voorhees sing on Friday the 13th?… “Takin Care of Business.”
    492. Friday the 13th Jokes: If Friday the 13th had a theme song, it’d be just a long, creepy violin screech followed by nervous laughter.
    493. Friday the 13th Jokes: Why was the black cat having a concert on Friday the 13th?… Because she was very meow-sical.
    494. Jaws Jokes: Who is the favorite musical group of the Jaws shark?… Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band.
    495. Voorhees a jolly good fellow’ is the most popular song among witches and spirits to sing on Friday the 13th.
    496. Which legendary creature keeps musical time best?… A metro-gnome. 
  • Biology Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelMusic and College.

    Google Search “Biology Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best biology jokes.
    2. Music Jokes: What does a guitarist recommend for your nose?… A pick. 
    3. Watermelon Jokes: I have a head like a watermelon, the arms like two baguettes, and the body of toilet paper – what am I?… Banned from the supermarket!
    4. Hurricane Jokes: How do hurricane’s see?… With one eye.
    5. Bastille Day Jokes: What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French Revolution?… They put their head into it.
    6. Navy Jokes: What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. 
    7. Baseball Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the pop fly?…   Forget it. It’s way over your head.
    8. What do you get when you plant kisses?… Tulips! 
    9. A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds. His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?” “No” says the psychic, “in a Biology class.”
    10. You enter the laboratory and see an experiment. How will you know which class is it?… If it’s green and wiggles, it’s biology… If it stinks, it’s chemistry… If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
    11. Two blood cells met and married, but alas it was all in vein.
    12. My son came home from school and said, “My teacher gave me a B for my biology practical.” I said, “That’s good.” He said, “Not really. Everyone else got a frog to cut up.”
    13. We have to stop talking about mitosis… It’s such a divisive issue.
    14. Why didn’t the puppy speak to his foot?… Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw! 
    15. What kind of chain is edible?….A food chain!
    16. Why couldn’t the plants escape prison?… Because their cells were surrounded by walls.
    17. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the school dance?… He didn’t have anybody to take. (any BODY) (Top Halloween Jokes180 School Jokes)
    18. Why was the biology book in the hospital?…Because it hurt his spine. (180 School Jokes)
    19. Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages?… He was a man of many cultures. (Top Geography Jokes)
    20. A red blood cell walked into a busy restaurant. The hostess asked, “Would you like to sit at the bar?” The red cell replied, “No thanks, I’ll just circulate.”
    21. What did one cell say to his sister cell when she stepped in his toe?.. Mitosis.
    22. What do you call the leader of a biology gang?… The nucleus.
    23. We just hired a molecular biologist… Man, is he small.
    24. Which biochemicals wash up on beaches?… Nucleotides. (Top Summer Jokes)
    25. What was the biologist wearing on his first date?… Designer jeans. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    26. What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. (World Ocean’s Day Jokes)
    27. How much did it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? … a buck an ear (a buccaneer)! (Top Pirate Jokes)
    28. Why did the skeleton go to the piano store?… To buy some organs!
    29. Where do hippos go to university?… Hippocampus. (Top College Jokes)
    30. Why do noses run but feet smell?
    31. I don’t know what carbon dating is, but I’ll try anything at this point… (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    32. What do you call a place of worship made out of amino acids?… A cysteine chapel.
    33. What do you call an oral hygiene product for the brain?… Neural Crest.
    34. How do you call a member of the financial staff of the faculty of Biology?…A Buy-ologist.
    35. Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards?… They like to avoid the flush.
    36. Why did the skeleton hold up the barbecue?…He needed a spare rib. (Top Summer Jokes)
    37. Where do they send the criminal neurons?… To the chain ganglion.
    38. What kind of notebook does a dendrochronologist use?… A tree-ring binder. (Top 10 Arbor Day Jokes180 School Jokes)
    39. What type of flowers does everybody have?… Two-lips. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    40. How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?… Romeostasis. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    41. What did one eye say to the other eye?… Something between us smells!
    42. Why is your nose in the middle of your face? … Because it is the “scenter.” / Center!
    43. A guy accidentally ingested some alpha-L-glucose but he had no ill effect… Apparently he was ambidextrose.
    44. Biology is the only science in which multiplication is the same thing as division.
    45. What do biologists wear on their heads when playing football?… Helminth. (365 Sports JokesTop Football Jokes)

    46. What’s a pirate’s favorite amino acid?… Arrrrrr-ginine. (Top Pirate Jokes)
    47. What do you call a faulty spirometer?… Expired.
    48. What did the femur say to the patella?… I kneed you. (Top Valentine’s Day Jokes)
    49. How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?… Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.
    50. What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?… I like your “style”
    51. When you breath, you inspire. When you do not breath, you expire.
    52. How do you eat DNA-spaghetti?… With a replication fork.
    53. A bacteriologist is a man whose conversation always starts with the germ of an idea.
    54. How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?… An itsy bitsy book.
    55. Did you hear the one about the recycling family of triplets?… Polly, Ethel and Ian.
    56. What do you call cabs which provide drug therapy?… Chemotaxis.
    57. What do you call the union of a sheep and a ram?… A zygoat.
    58. How do you know you’re dehydrated?… You can hear your red blood cells crenating.
    59. What’s the study of real estate?.. Homology.
    60. A couple of biologists had twins… One they called John and the other control.
    61. How do you identify a bald eagle?… All his feathers are combed over to one side. (Top 500 Jokes for U.S. States)

    62. One plant says to another, “Are you hungry?”… The other replies, “I could use a light snack.”
    63. How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon?… He caught the garter snake.
    64. If I go to jail, my nickname will be mitochondria so I’m the power house of the cell.
    65. How does the nucleus communicate with ribosomes?… With a cell phone.

    PG-13

    1. What is the fastest way to determine the sex of a chromosome?…Pull down its genes.
    2. Why are men sexier than women?… You can’t spell sexy without xy.
    3. How do you recognize a Native American cell biologist?.. He lives in ATP.

     

  • Navy Jokes

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelTutoringSportsMusic and College.

    Google Search “Navy Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Navy jokes. 
    2. Navy captain: “Change your course, 10 degrees W” Seaman 1st Class: “Change yours 10 degrees E” Navy captain annoyed: “I’m a Navy captain. Change your course.” Seaman 1st Class: “You must change your course, sir.” Navy captain: “I’m an aircraft carrier..” Seaman 1st Class: “I’m a lighthouse. Your call.”
    3. An ensign was standing in line behind a sailor at a vending machine. The ensign asked the sailor if he had change for a dollar. Reaching into his pocket, the sailor replied, “Sure.” The ensign said, “Sailor, don’t you mean yes, sir? Let’s try this again. Do you have change for a dollar?” The sailor replied, “No, sir!”
    4. Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? 
    5. Army Jokes: When I lost my rifle, the army charged me $255.99. That’s why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. 
    6. Working for the Navy pays just enough to stay afloat.
    7. Army Jokes: Army soldiers can’t comprehend the 6-foot social distancing requirement… But everyone in the Navy can fathom it. 
    8. Pirate Jokes: A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the Navy… But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy.  
    9. Flag Day Jokes: What is the only question on the entrance exam to the U.S. Navy?… “Oh say, can you sea?”
    10. Ocean Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. 
    11. What do you call a Navy Admiral who gambles, smokes, drinks, and does drugs?… A Vice Admiral.
    12. Psychology Jokes: I’m going to join the Navy purely out of spite… I’m longing to become a Petty Officer.
    13. Subway… The unofficial restaurant of the US Navy.
    14. Labor Day Jokes: I thought about joining the Navy to be on a submarine… But I changed my mind, I had a sinking feeling about that career path.
    15. Labor Day Jokes: A cool job that sounds lame: Building boats for the Navy… You’d be a subcontractor. 
    16. Retirement Jokes: What is the #1 form of transportation for retired Navy members?… The subway!
    17. Pirate Jokes: 3.14% of Sailors are Pi Rates. 
    18. I wanted to join the Navy… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
    19. The Navy is beginning to recruit blind men… They are sending them out to sea. 
    20. August Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta join the Navy. 
    21. Swimming Jokes: Why do they actually prefer non-swimmers in the Navy?… They defend their ship with a lot more enthusiasm. 
    22. What’s the Navy’s favorite exercise?… Planks.
    23. Psychology Jokes: The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiner.
    24. Music Jokes: Commodores… The unofficial band of the Navy.
    25. Dad Jokes: Dad: You wanna join the Navy? You can’t even swim! Son: No one can fly in the Air Force either. 
    26. Ocean Jokes: Why did the Navy ship blush?… Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
    27. Grandparent Jokes: My grandfather is always saying that in the old days people could leave their back doors open… Which is probably why his submarine sank. 
    28. Crayon Jokes: What color are military submarines?… Deep navy. 
    29. Teacher Jokes for July: Why did the sailor go to summer school?… To improve his sea-minus to a sea-plus! 
    30. Geography Jokes: I heard France is replacing its aging, deteriorating navy vessels… I guess French ships don’t always last forever.
    31. Have you heard about the karate champion who joined the Navy?… The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! 
    32. Movie Jokes: Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. 
    33. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the highest rank in the Navy? 
    34. Star Wars Jokes: Why is there no Jedi navy?… Sailing is a path to the dockside. 
    35. Biology Jokes: What did the Barbie factory do when it ran out of belly buttons?… They called the the navel reserve. 
    36. What did the sailor say to the other sailor when they had a problem?… We are in the same boat. 
    37. Leap Year Jokes: What does a Navy captain do during a Leap Year?… Jump ship. 
    38. What’s a sailor’s favorite board game?… Battleship.
    39. Movie Jokes: If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. 
    40. Thanksgiving Jokes: What do you call a group of gravy boats on Thanksgiving?… A Gravy Navy.
    41. Movie Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel! 
    42. What did the Navy say to the coast guards?… “I’ll SEAL you later” 
    43. Ocean Jokes: What’s a Navy cook’s favorite spice?… Sea-soning!
    44. Psychology Jokes: How do you measure a Navy ship’s happiness?… In nauti-cal smiles.
    45. Crayon Jokes: I’ve never understood the Navy’s color being Navy blue… I thought they were the aqua-marines. 
    46. Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite band?… Sub-lime.
    47. Swimming Jokes: Navy recruiter: “Do you know how to swim?” Recruit: “Why? Have you run out of ships?” 
    48. What do they call cleaners in the Navy?… Scrubmarines.
    49. Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
    50. Super Bowl Jokes: Did you hear about the Super Bowl football player who asked his coach to flood the field so he could go in as a sub? 
    51. Black Friday Jokes: Old Neigh-vy… the unofficial story of the Navy.
    52. Farming Jokes: Why did the navy sailor start a fruit stand on the ship?… He wanted to sell naval oranges!
    53. Movie Jokes: What is a sailor’s favorite movie?… “Sea” biscuit!
    54. Geography Jokes: Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the side of their boats?… So when they come back to port they can… Scandinavian.
    55. What’s a Navy ship’s favorite drink?… Port wine!
    56. Labor Day Jokes: I became a chef after I left the navy… Some would say I am a seasoned veteran.
    57. Prom Jokes: What branch of the military should you never ask to the prom?… The NAY vy!
    58. Dog Jokes: Which breed of dog is most common in the Navy?… The aircraft terrier.
    59. Ice Cream Jokes: Did you know you can’t eat ice cream in the Navy?… Apparently you get arrested for desserting. 
    60. How does a Navy Captain convince his sailors to stop going the bathroom off the back of the boat?… He gives them a stern talking to. 
    61. Homecoming Jokes: What branch of the military should you never ask to the homecoming dance?… The NAY vy!
    62. What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?… A petticoat!
    63. Labor Day Jokes: I’m about to lose my job in the Navy unless I make some drastic changes… I have to take a course in anchor management. 
    64. Marriage Jokes: What branch of the military should you never ask to marry you?… The NAY vy!
    65. I wanted to join the Navy Seals… But that ship has sailed… I’ll sea myself out.
    66. Labor Day Jokes: My mother was scared for me when I joined the Navy. It makes sense, my father was a telegraph operator in the navy and he got lost at C.
    67. My neighbor is obsessed with Navy destroyers… He warships them.
    68. Biology Jokes: What is a naval destroyer?… A hula hoop with a nail in it.
    69. Why did the sailor join the gym?… To get in in shipshape!
    70. Why do sailors love word puzzles?… They’re good at crosswords—lots of anchors.
    71. College Football Jokes: What separates the Navy fans from the Army football fans?… The wave.
    72. Cape Cod Jokes: Falmouth Commodores… The unofficial baseball team of the Navy.
    73. What’s a sailor’s favorite type of sandwich?… A Subway sub-marine! 
    74. Geometry Jokes: Why do Navy sailors always carry a compass?… So they don’t get into pointless arguments.
    75. What military branch is fond of horses?… The Neigh-vy.
    76. What do you call a dog who joins the Navy?… A subwoofer.
    77. Swimming Jokes: What’s the Navy’s favorite sport?… Dive-ing.
    78. Whale Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of humor?… Whale-y bad puns.
    79. Music Jokes: What’s unofficial band of the Navy?… Sub-lime
    80. What so you call a snail on a ship?… A Snailer. 
    81. Crayon Jokes: What was the dark blue sea lion mistaken for?… A Navy Seal.
    82. Dad Jokes: What do you get when you cross a sheep, a warship, and a father?… A fleece navy dad. 
    83. Ocean Jokes: Did you know Navy ships run on commercial batteries?… They run on 7 C’s.
    84. Why did the sailor join the navy?… Because he wanted to see the sea!
    85. Barber Jokes: Why did the Navy captain go to the barber?… To trim his sails.
    86. What’s a naval captain’s least favorite door on his ship?…The commode door.
    87. Fishing Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite meal?… Fish and ships.
    88. Barber Jokes: What do sailors use to style their hair?… Sea spray!
    89. What’s a Navy captain’s favorite type of joke?… Something knot too complicated.
    90. Psychology Jokes: What do you call a worried sailor?… A nervous wreck!
    91. What happens when you eat too many Navy beans?… You might end up with a dishonorable discharge.
    92. Geography Jokes: Why did the sailor love his new compass?… It gave him direction.
    93. NFL Football Jokes: The Washington Commanders… The unofficial NFL football team of the Navy.
    94. College Football Jokes: The Vanderbilt Commodores… The unofficial football team of the Navy.
    95. College Football Jokes: Who is the favorite mascot of the Navy?… Mr. Commodore of Vanderbilt.
    96. Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s least favorite type of music?… Heavy rock.
    97. I tried out for the Marines but fell just short of their requirements. So they put me in the Navy since I was a sub-marine.
    98. Bird Jokes: Who’s the head of the penguin navy?… Admiral Byrd!
    99. Music Jokes: Why did the submarine join the Navy band?… It wanted to master the bass.
    100. How do sailors keep track of their tasks?.. They use a log!
    101. A newly commissioned officer with a cigarette dangling from his lips asked aloud,”anybody got a light?:” An NCO said “I got you covered buddy.” “Buddy?” said the officer. “Don’t you see this bar on my uniform. Let’s try this again. DO YOU HAVE A LIGHT?.” The NCO snapped to attention and replied. “SIR, No Sir.”
    102. What’s a rubber gasket on an aircraft carrier called?… A Navy seal.
    103. Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?… Submarines.
    104. Where do U.S. Olympic horses shop?… Old Neigh-vy!
    105. Grandparent Jokes: My Papa was a World War 2 Navy veteran and he use to boast about how he saved 300+ sailors from dying from an excruciating death… He shot the cook.
    106. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the Navy?
    107. How do sailors communicate underwater?… With a sub text.
    108. What’s the hardest part of being a sailor?… The current challenges.
    109. Lobster Jokes: Why did the lobster join the Navy?… To become a navy-claw officer!
    110. Bastille Day Jokes: In the French Navy, it’s considered unlucky to have the number 5 in a ship’s name… Because all of the ships with that number in their name… cinq.
    111. Psychology Jokes: Why is the depression rate so high for US sailors?… Because they have the Navy blues.
    112. What does NAVY stand for?… Never Again Volunteer Yourself.
    113. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how to join the Navy?
    114. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me how much money I will make if I join the Navy?
    115. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe tell me the different ranks of the Navy?
    116. Retirement Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe retire from the Navy?
    117. How do navy ships communicate?… They just give each other a wave!
    118. Pope Jokes: A small boy was staring at the names on the wall of an old church when the pastor noticed him. “What are you looking at?” asked the clergyman. “All those names. Who are they?” the boy asked. The pastor nodded, and said, “They are the reason we have Memorial Day. They are those who died in the service.” The little boy considered that, then asked quietly, “The 9 o’clock service or the 11 o’clock?”
    119. Why don’t naval shipyards have to pay taxes?… Because they are places of warship. 
    120. What’s a captain’s favorite drink?… Anything on the rocks.
    121. What do you call a forgetful veteran sailor?… A sea-nile old salt.
    122. Psychology Jokes: Why did the ship go to therapy?… It had too many pier pressure issues.
    123. Fishing Jokes: What do Navy sailors call a lazy fish?… slackerel.
    124. What’s the Navy’s motto during tough training?… “Just keel it.”
    125. Why do Navy SEALs fall backwards off of their boats?… Because if they fell forwards they’d still be on the boat!
    126. What’s the best way to calm a rowdy ship?…Give it a stern talking-to.
    127. Ocean Jokes: Why do Navy officers love the ocean?… It’s their wave of life.
    128. What do Navy officers use to write letters?… An anchor pen.
    129. Each branch has a military ball (Navy Ball, Army Ball, etc.) And it warms my heart to know that one branch will be having “Space Balls” from here on out.
    130. Ice Cream Jokes: An ice cream, a creme brulee, and a slice of cheesecake joined the Navy, but they abandoned their fellow sailors on their first deployment… They are wanted for dessertion. 
    131. Grandparent Jokes: My grandfather was a baker in the Navy… He went in all buns glazing.
    132. What’s a ship’s favorite thing to do at an athletic contest?… The wave.
    133. What do you call a Marine who joins the Navy?… A Sub-Marine.
    134. Why did the sailor become a baker?… He wanted to make some “sea” biscuits!
    135. What’s an officer’s favorite exercise?… The captain’s chair.
    136. What’s the captain’s least favorite food?… Leaky soup.
    137. Music Jokes: What do you call a group of musical sailors?… The anchor-estra!
    138. Ice Cream Jokes: Why did the sailor stuff himself with ice cream?… He was a desserter. 
    139. Why did the Navy recruit take a ladder to training?… He wanted to climb the ranks.
    140. Why don’t sailors get mad?… They just go with the flow.
    141. Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?… Nautical notes!
    142. What did Galaga aliens and WW2 Navy officers have in common?… Both came in WAVES.
    143. Tree Jokes: What do you call a military tree who doesn’t return on time?… Absent without leaf. 
    144. Why do Navy officers never tell jokes during meetings?… They don’t want to go overboard.
    145. What do you call an officer with no sense of humor?… Admiral Serious.
    146. Movie Jokes: What’s a ship’s favorite movie genre?… Sea-quels.
    147. What’s the Navy’s favorite type of bread?… Sub-marinewich.
    148. Why did the Navy captain bring a broom to the bridge?… To sweep the deck!
    149. Why do officers love sailor puns?…. Because they’re off the charts!
    150. Why is France’s navy one of the best in the world?… Because they have the power of french-ship.
    151. How does a navy submarine call its friends?… Through its shell phone!
    152. Art Jokes: Why was the officer bad at painting?…. He kept going outside the lines!
    153. Music Jokes: What do you call a group of navy sailors singing together?… A sea-shanty choir!
    154. Ocean Jokes: What did the ocean say to the navy ship?… Nothing, it just waved.
    155. Octopus Jokes: Why do sailors never play poker with squids?… They’re too good at hands.
    156. Why did the captain fail his cooking class?… He couldn’t stir the ship right!
    157. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Navy knock-knock joke?
    158. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Navy knock knock jokes?
    159. Why are there no knock knock jokes about the American Navy?… Because freedom rings!
    160. What’s a sailor’s favorite dance move?… The anchor drop!
    161. Biology Jokes: What button does the Naval admiral press to launch the submarine torpedo?… The belly button.
    162. What’s a sailor’s favorite social media app?… Sea-gram.
    163. What kind of reptile do you bring on an expedition?… A navi-gator.
    164. What’s a ship’s favorite dance move?… The wave.
    165. Grandparent Jokes: My Granddad fought in the war and survived mustard gas and pepper spray… He’s now classed as a seasoned veteran.
    166. “So, you’re telling me you’re in the Navy yet you don’t know how to swim?” “Buddy, you’re in the air-force. Do you know how to fly?”
    167. Why did the crab join the Navy?… To become a navy-claw officer!
    168. Pencil Jokes: Why did the Navy sailor bring a pencil to sea?… To draw the line!
    169. Why do sailors always win at trivia?… They’re good at navigating tricky questions.
    170. Why don’t sailors ever fight during training?… They don’t want to rock the boat.
    171. Algebra Jokes: What’s the Navy’s favorite type of math?… Nautical algebra.
    172. Pie Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite dessert?… Sub-lime pie.
    173. Why don’t submarines ever argue?… They keep it subtle.
    174. Ocean Jokes: What did the ocean say to the navy ship when it passed by?… “Long time, no sea!”
    175. Psychology Jokes: Why did the submarine go to therapy?… It had deep-seated issues.
    176. Why did the new recruit bring an anchor to the classroom?… He wanted to feel grounded.
    177. Labor Day Jokes: Why did the submarine get a promotion?… It knew how to dive right into problems.
    178. Why did the sailor join a dating app?… He was looking for his “sole-mate!”
    179. What type of jacket does a Navy officer wear?… A coat of arms!
    180. Why do sailors never tell secrets on a ship?… The walls might list.
    181. How does the Navy keep their ships so clean?… Lots of hullsome scrubbing.
    182. Why don’t sailors gossip?… It’s all below deck.
    183. Why don’t Navy officers ever play cards?… They’re afraid of being decked!
    184. What’s the ocean’s favorite joke?… Something with depth!
    185. Why did the ship never crash?… It had shore protection.
    186. Why don’t sailors ever get lost?… They just follow the current!
    187. Ocean Jokes: Why did the sailor keep a starfish as a pet?… For some stellar company.
    188. Psychology Jokes: Why did the ship take up meditation?… To stay centered.
    189. Art Jokes: Why did the Navy send a submarine to art school?… They wanted it to learn how to draw a-buoys.
    190. How does a Navy captain like to start a race?… Ready, set, navy-gate!
    191. Ocean Jokes: Why did the sailor bring a ladder to the beach?… He wanted to climb aboard the sand-bar.
    192. Why did the Navy officer use the stairs instead of the elevator?… He didn’t want to escalate the situation.
    193. Why did the sailor go broke?… He kept shelling out cash on vacations.
    194. Why did the navy officer wear 3D glasses to work?… He wanted to “sea” the depth of the situation!
    195. What do you call a navy ship full of cows?… A dairy frigate!
    196. What do you call an aircraft full of cattle?… Total bull ship.
    197. Music Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of music?… R and B, which stands for “Rum and Brandy”!
    198. Ocean Jokes: How do submarines stay in shape?… They do a lot of deep sea-kale!
    199. Marriage Jokes: How did the navy submarine propose to its partner?… “Let’s dive into marriage!”
    200. Psychology Jokes: Why did the sailor go to therapy?… He had too many emotional “berths” to unload!
    201. The Russian Navy has announced that it’s commissioning glass-bottom warships… so they can keep an eye on the Russian Air Force.
    202. What do you call a Navy cook who’s also a magician?… A soupernatural!
    203. Why did the ship refuse to wear a cologne?… It didn’t want to be too fragrant.
    204. When I was in the Navy, I was on the deck of a destroyer one day, and I saw the periscope of an enemy submarine surface nearby… So I whipped off my hat and dropped it over the periscope.
    205. Music Jokes: Why do sailors make terrible DJs?… They always play the same sea shanties!
    206. Art Jokes: Why did the sailor go to art school?… To master the art of knot-tying.
    207. Why did the sailor become a gardener?… He wanted to “sea” some growth!
    208. Why did the navy recruit join the vegetable garden?… He wanted to be a navy bean!
    209. What do you call a military ship that’s great at knitting?… A frigate with fabulous stitches!
    210. What do you call a well-dressed sailor?… A natty nautical!
    211. How do navy chefs cook their meals?… With a depth charge of flavor!
    212. What do you call a fashionable sailor?… A navy seal of approval.
    213. Why did the sailor break up with his girlfriend?… She was too nauti-cal for him!
    214. Music Jokes: What do you call a sailor who plays the drums?… A maritime percussionist!
    215. Why are sailors such great comedians?… They know the secret to a good punchline is all in the “buoyancy!”
    216. How do sailors communicate with one another?… They use their sea-phones!
    217. Labor Day Jokes: How do navy personnel stay cool in the summer?… They have their own fleet of “FAN-tastic” ships!
    218. Who won the zombie war?…Nobody, it was dead even.
    219. Pasta Jokes: What’s a sailor’s favorite type of pasta?… Seashell-eroni!
    220. Algebra Jokes: What do you call a navy member who loves math?… An Admiralgebra enthusiast!
    221. What do you call a ship that tells jokes?… A comedi-boat!
    222. What do you call a navy ship with a sense of humor?… A pun-dit class vessel!
    223. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moomorial day.
  • High School Psychology Lesson: 1st Day Pre-Test Lesson

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    On the first day of school, the students in my Psychology classes answer the following questions as a “pre-quiz.” These questions were taken from an old textbook. After the students have had enough time to answer the questions, we review them as a class and discuss as we go.

    FYI, ALL the answers are FALSE. There are many times when a class will not pick up on this, however if a few students ask if the answers are all false, I simply reply I don’t think so, let’s look at the next one.

    I am not a huge fan of all of the questions, however, there are many that can spark some great discussions that can let you get to know your students a little better. After most of the questions, I have included my discussion points.


    1. The behavior of most lower animals – insects, reptiles, amphibians, most rodents and birds is instinctive and unaffected by learning.

    Discussion Points: There are many times that pigeons have been trained to carry messages, later in the course we will see a video clip of a pigeon being taught to play a piano and a rat learning to navigate a maze. This question is a great opportunity to find out which students have pets. Ask students to volunteer the pet, name, and unique talents. Ask students to explain the methods used to house train or teach a new trick. You also can discuss the many benefits of having a pet, such as the incredible greeting we receive from so many.

    2. For the first week of life, a baby sees nothing but a gray blur regardless of what he looks at.

    Discussion Points: Babies can distinguish faces of mother from a close distance (usually it is the distance from the food source to the face of the food source). Ask students who have recently had an addition to the family such as siblings, nieces, nephews, and possibly sons or daughters. Some students may have experience babysitting. Once you identify these students, you can check in periodically on the development of the infant. (If you have children of your own, you can share these experiences too.)

    3. A child learns to talk more quickly if the adults around the child habitually repeat the word he or she is trying to say, using the proper pronunciation.

    Discussion Points: The Wild Child is an amazing story that discusses the possibility of a critical age for learning a language. This is a unique case study of a girl who was isolated from society by abusive parents. She was discovered during early adolescence. Occasionally I will show sections of this video (The Secret of the Wild Child) in class. Again, ask students to share their experiences of witnessing a child learning to talk.

    4. The best way to get a chronically noisy school child to settle down and pay attention is to punish him or her.

    Discussion Points: It is important for students to understand that in some cases, a child might desire the attention that being disciplined brings. In many cases, it is best for an adult to ignore this the behavior by not acknowledging it.

    Ask students to share their experiences working with other children. Jobs could be a camp counselor, babysitter, or a worker in an after school program. Students can also share interactions with younger relatives. Ask students to share the most challenging situations they have faced in these positions. Ask them what they learned about children through these experiences.

    5. Slow learners remember more of what they learn than fast learner.

    Discussion Points: Not too much discussion on this question other than the fact that learning styles do not impact memory.

    6. Highly intelligent people – “geniuses” – tend to be physically frail and socially isolated.

    Discussion Points: I am a big fan of cartoons. The Foghorn Leghorn cartoon “Little Boy Boo” (6:24) reminds me of this stereotype. It is a fun clip that illustrates the incredible resources available. I have not shown this clip in class, but I certainly enjoyed watching it. Here is an image of the genius, which is entitled “Egghead Jr.”

    7. On the average, you cannot predict from a person’s grades at school and college whether he or she will do well in a career.

    Discussion Points: High school students love to argue this one the most. It is a great SAT skill question. The critical words are “on the average.” Ask the students what is necessary to succeed in school.  Explain that these same characteristics are necessary to succeed in a career. Conversely, the characteristics that lead to a lack of success in school also will negatively impact most careers.

    8. Most national and ethnic stereotypes are completely false.

    Discussion Points: There is some truth to stereotypes, for example, the Fighting Irish (I am of Irish descent). Not all Irish are fighters, but there are some. The problem with stereotypes is when they are applied to an entire group of people. (Political Cartoon) Another term associated with the Irish stereotype is “Paddy Wagon.” You can discuss the origins of this word and point out once again that there is some truth in this stereotype..

    You can also present the example of a student at your school driving a BMW. If an out of town visitors observes the student, they might tell others; “All (town) students drive BMWs.” It is true that at least one student drives a BMW, so there is some truth to the statement. The problem with stereotype is when we apply the characteristics of a few to an entire group of people.

    This political cartoon is great to include in a discussion on stereotypes. As you can see, it highlights the some of the issues involving Native American mascots. It is a great introduction to discussion of stereotypes (and mascots).

    9. In small amounts, alcohol is a stimulant.

    Discussion Points: I do not have much to add on this. If your district is fortunate to have a health education teacher (we do not), your students should be well aware of this fact.

    10. LSD causes chromosome damage.

    Discussion Points: This is another question that I add little too. Even though LSD does not cause chromosomal damage, you still can use this as an opportunity for a public service announcement on the negative effects of drug use. Check out this memorable commercial: This is Your Brain on Drugs.

    11. The largest drug problem in the United States, in terms of the number of people affected, is marijuana.

    Discussion Points: Nicotine and caffeine are highly addictive. I am not sure of the current facts. I would say marijuana is a huge issue in high school across America and across all demographics.
    Chris Herren is a great speaker on the topic of drug use and addiction.

    12. Psychiatry is a sub division of psychology.

    Discussion Points: Psychiatry is a completely separate treatment that involves the medical treatment of mental disorders. Here is the information from Wikipedia.

    13. Most mentally challenged people are also mentally ill.

    Discussion Points: (In the original question the term was “mentally retarded,” I changed the terms.) There was a Supreme Court case that illustrates the difference between these two terms.

    14. A third or more of the people suffering from severe mental disorders are potentially dangerous.

    Discussion Points: Here is article on this topic from the British Journal on Psychiatry.

    15. Electroshock therapy is an outmoded technique rarely used in today’s mental hospitals.

    Discussion Points: I do not have much knowledge on this topic, however I did find a very knowledge source in the Mayo Clinic.

    16. The more severe the disorder, the more intensive the therapy required to cure it; for example, schizophrenics usually respond best to psychoanalysis.

    The Secret Life of the Brain is a great DVD produced by PBS. In the Teenage Brain section, there is an excellent clip about schizophrenia. I highly recommend adding this to your curriculum if you do not already have it. It is enlightening to the students on a difficult topic to cover. Students really enjoy viewing it and for a rare few it might help understand their disorder.

    17. Quite a few psychological characteristics of men and women appear to be inborn; in all cultures for example, women are more emotional and sexually less aggressive than men.

    Discussion Points: Working on this one. Would love any suggestions.

    18. No reputable psychologist “believes in” such irrational phenomena as ESP, hypnosis, or the bizarre mental and physical achievements of the Eastern yogis.

    Discussion Points: This is a great opportunity to see if people have visited a psychic or have had any paranormal experiences. You might find some very interesting responses. As with any other questions, you could share your experiences. Our school has a hypnotist show each year and many of the seniors are hypnotized. You can draw on similar experiences at your school.

  • Dog Jokes

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    Google Search “Dog Jokes”

    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best dog jokes.
    2. Camping Jokes: First dog: Where do fleas go camping? Second dog: Search me! 
    3. These dog jokes are FUR real funny!!!
    4. What is the difference between a man and a dog?… A man wears trousers, a dog pants.
    5. Bee Jokes: What’s more amazing than a talking dog?… A Spelling Bee.
    6. We love Dog Man… Dav Pilkey should be the official author of National Dog Day.
    7. My dog’s not fat… he’s just a little Husky.
    8. Two men are walking through a graveyard with their dogs. One man turns to the other and says ‘Morning’ The other man replies ‘No, just walking the dog.”
    9. Grady the Greyhound would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    10. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?… His bark was much worse than it’s bite!
    11. Book Jokes: Hush puppies… the unofficial dog of the American Library Association.
    12. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation?… A waggin’!
    13. My dog accidentally ate sandpaper… it was rough.
    14. What kind of dog does Dracula have?… A bloodhound! 
    15. Labor Day Jokes: How do dogcatchers get paid?… By the pound.
    16. My friend says her dog will retrieve a ball over a mile away… but that sounds far-fetched to me.
    17. Music Jokes: Who Let the Dogs Out by The Baha Men… The unofficial song of National Dog Day.
    18. Which breed of dog is the quietest?… A hush puppy!
    19. Butler Blue IV would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    20. What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise?… Flea markets.
    21. Book Jokes: Which breed of dog is the favorite of librarians?… A hush puppy!
    22. The secret to life is to handle every situation like a dog: If you can’t play with it, eat it or bury it, just pee on it and walk away.
    23. Pizza Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza?… Pupperoni.
    24. Teacher Jokes for August: Why did the dog do so well in school?… He was the teacher’s pet.
    25. Navy Jokes: The US Navy will start to equip all their subs with emotional support dogs. After a lot study, they decided on Dachshunds… They will be subma-weiners. 
    26. Book Jokes: Have you read the book Raising Dogs?… No? You should it’s a pup-up book.
    27. Music Jokes: Three Dog Night… The unofficial band of National Dog Day.
    28. My dad adopted a dog from the local blacksmith… As soon as he got home, he made a bolt for the door.
    29. How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.
    30. I love my dog, but he does have one glaring fault… He can’t hold his licker.
    31. Tree Jokes: What trees are dogs most afraid of?… Redwoods, they have the biggest bark.
    32. I thought I was getting a guard dog… but I’ve come to realize I’ve just gotten a louder doorbell.
    33. How did the dog get from Boston to New York?… He took a Greyhound.
    34. What kind of car does a dog drive?… A Fur-rari.
    35. Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?… Because you might step in a poodle.
    36. Baseball Jokes: Bob didn’t believe that Fred’s dog could talk. So Fred asked his dog, “What’s on top of a house?”…“Roof,” the dog barked. Bob wasn’t convinced. So Fred asked the dog how sandpaper feels….“Rough.” He still wasn’t convinced. “O.K., who was the greatest baseball player of all time?” Fred asked the dog….“Ruth.” With that, Bob walked away, shaking his head in disbelief. The dog turned to Fred and asked: “Was it Hank Aaron?”
    37. Why did the family take their dog to the watchmaker?… It had ticks!
    38. Egg Jokes: What do dogs eat for breakfast?… Pooched eggs.
    39. Hot Dog Jokes: What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog. 
    40. College Jokes: What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?… Their masters.
    41. Where should you go if your dog is missing?… The lost and hound.
    42. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?… He always wanted to get a long little doggy.
    43. Teacher Jokes for August: Why are conjunctions dogs’ favorite parts of speech?… Dogs love buts.
    44. Why did the poor puppy chase his own tail?… He was trying to make both ends meet!
    45. New York Jokes: What is the puppy’s favorite city?… New Yorkie!
    46. What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?… A flea market!
    47. Watermelon Jokes: What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?… A Melon Collie.
    48. Book Jokes: Dog Man… The unofficial book of National Dog Day.
    49. Halloween Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite trick to do on Halloween?… Play dead.
    50. American Revolution Jokes: Which Founding Father is a dog’s favorite?… Bone Franklin.
    51. American Revolution Jokes: What do you get when you cross a patriot with a dog?… A Yankee poodle dandy!
    52. Halloween Jokes: How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! 
    53. Heaven forbid you forget to feed your dog… he’ll hound you about it all day.
    54. Walking Jokes: What did one flea say to the other?… Should we walk or take a dog?
    55. Black Friday Jokes: What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea!
    56. Music Jokes: What is a dog’s favorite instrument?…  A trombone.
    57. Psychology Jokes: What do you call a large dog that meditates?… Aware wolf. 
    58. Barber Jokes: What kind of dog likes taking a bath every day?… A shampoo-dle.
    59. Navy Jokes: Which breed of dog is most common in the Navy?… The aircraft terrier. 
    60. Hot Dog Jokes: What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?… A hot, diggety dog.
    61. Police Jokes: What did the police officer do when he saw a dog giving birth on the side of the road?… Gave her a ticket for littering.
    62. What did the Dalmatian say when he finished dinner?… That hit the spot.
    63. Field Trip Jokes: Did you hear about the canine school that took a field trip to the flea circus?… They stole the show!
    64. Field Trip Jokes: What dog keeps the best time on a field trip?…A watchdog.
    65. Teacher Jokes for August: What did the dog say to its teacher when it forgot its homework?… “My owner ate my homework.”
    66. What do you call a dog that licks an electrical socket?… Sparky.
    67. Who is the most famous doggy magician in history?… Houndini.
    68. College Jokes: Why did the dog go to grad school?… To become a bark-chitect.
    69. What do you call a frozen dog?… A pupsicle.
    70. What’s a dog’s favorite type of workout?… Pawlates!
    71. Tree Jokes: What did the dog say to the tree?… Bark.
    72. Cat Jokes: What did the cat say to the dog?…Check meow-t!
    73. Cat Jokes: What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! 
    74. Music Jokes: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?… Dingo Starr!
    75. What do you call a zoo with no animals except for one dog?… A shih tzu.
    76. I tried to trick my dog into eating a healthy snack… but he didn’t bite.
    77. College Football Jokes: UGA would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    78. Raining cats and dogs is one thing, but you know the weather is really bad when you see it reindeer.
    79. Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. 
    80. Doctor Jokes: What do a call a dog that sneezes?… A-choo-wawa.
    81. College Football Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite position to play in football?… Golden receiver.
    82. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation?… A covered waggin’!
    83. What happened when the puppy went to the flea circus?… He stole the show!
    84. What kind of dog can jump as high as a tall building?… Any kind. A building can’t jump!
    85. Winter Jokes: What do you call a dog that’s playing outdoors in winter?… A chili dog.
    86. Psychology Jokes: What did the therapy dog say to her client?… “That’s ruff.”
    87. What do you get a dog for its birthday?… Pupcakes!
    88. Navy Jokes: What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?… A petticoat!
    89. What’s the best way to stop your dog from barking in the front yard?… Put him in the backyard.
    90. Why did the dog go to the bank?… To make a de-paws-it.
    91. College Football Jokes: Why didn’t the dog want to play football?… It was a boxer.
    92. What do you call a dog crossed with a calculator?… A best friend you can always count on!
    93. Psychology Jokes: Why were the fleas depressed?… Their whole town was going to the dogs.
    94. What did the mommy dog say to the baby dog at bedtime?… “Hush, puppy!”
    95. Hot Dog Jokes: What do you give a dog with a fever?… Ketchup! Everyone knows that’s the best thing to put on a hot dog.
    96. What do you get if you cross a gold puppy with a telephone?… A golden receiver!
    97. American Revolution Jokes: What do you get if you cross a patriotic American with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle.
    98. Walking Jokes: Why did the boy name his dog Ten Miles?… So he could tell his gym teacher he walked Ten Miles every day.
    99. What do you call a dog with a Rolex?… A watch dog.
    100. Pizza Jokes: What’s a dog’s favorite type of pizza?… Pupperoni and snausage!
    101. What did the snowman name his pet dog?… Frost, because he bites.
    102. College Jokes: What did the dog do when he graduated from obedience school?… He had a paw-ty!
    103. Biology Jokes: Why didn’t the puppy speak to his foot?… Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw! 
    104. Psychology Jokes: What do you call it when a stressed dog goes shopping?… Re-tail therapy.
    105. Music Jokes: I’ve taught my dog to bark along to ‘Sweet Caroline’… He’s a bit of a ruff Diamond…
    106. Hot Dog Jokes: Why did the pooch sit in the shade?… He was a hot dog!
    107. What happened when the girl took her dog to a flea circus?… He stole the show!
    108. Egg Jokes: What is a dog’s favorite breakfast?… Pooched eggs and pupcakes.
    109. What kind of dog should you get if you’re always late?… A watchdog!
    110. What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel with a poodle and a rooster…? A cockerpoodlepoo!
    111. What does my puppy and my phone have in common?… They both have collar I.D.
    112. What is the fastest dog in the world?… A Labraghini.
    113. What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?… Take the words right out of his mouth!
    114. Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?… He kept seeing spots!
    115. Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?… A Chi-ha-ha!
    116. Doctor Jokes: Dogs can’t operate MRI machines… but they’re great at running Lab reports.
    117. A three-legged dog limps into a saloon and yells, “Listen up! I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
    118. Why do dogs float?… Because they’re good buoys!
    119. What’s a dog’s favorite kind of store?… Re-tail.
    120. Police Jokes: What do you call a great dog detective?… Sherlock Bones!
    121. Who is the puppy’s favorite comedian?… Growlcho Marx!
    122. Dogs are terrible with boundaries…. instead of standing up for themselves, they just roll over.
    123. Music Jokes: What did the dog install in his car to impress all his friends?… A subwoofer!
    124. College Football Jokes: Bully would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    125. College Football Jokes: Smokey X would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    126. College Football Jokes: Reveille would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    127. Hot Dog Jokes: What is the only kind of dog you can eat?… A hot dog!
    128. What kind of dog chases anything red?… A Bulldog!
    129. Black Friday Jokes: How do dogs pay for their shopping?… They scan the bark codes.
    130. Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?… A New Yorkie!
    131. How do fleas travel from place to place?… By itch-hiking!
    132. Prom Jokes: Why did the dog skip the prom?… Because he had two left feet.
    133. Homecoming Jokes: Why did the dog skip the Homecoming Dance?… Because he had two left feet.
    134. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation?… A station waggin’!
    135. Why did the puppy cross the road?… To get to the “barking” lot!
    136. What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You can step in a poodle!
    137. What did the dog say to the flea?… Stop bugging me!
    138. Labor Day Jokes: What’s a dog’s ideal job?… Barkeology. 
    139. Tree Jokes: Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark.
    140. Tree Jokes: Why do dogs make the best arborists?… Because they are experts in bark.
    141. What’s a dog’s favorite mode of transportation to the beach?… A red waggin’!
    142. What do you call a dog magician?… A labracadabrador.
    143. What do puppies and story tellers have in common?… They both have tails!
    144. Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?… The re-tail store.
    145. College Football Jokes: Jonathan the Husky would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    146. College Football Jokes: Handsome Dan would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    147. College Football Jokes: Jack the Bulldog would be a great mascot for National Dog Day.
    148. What’s the friendliest thing in the world?… A wet dog.
    149. Music Jokes: What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?… a Sub-woofer.
    150. Doctor Jokes: What’s the medical diagnosis for owning too many dogs?… A doggy roverdose.
    151. What’s a herding dog’s favorite game?… Hide and sheep.
    152. Why are there no losers in a Dachshund race?… They’re all weiners.
    153. What kind of dog never throws anything away?… A hoarder collie.
    154. American Revolution Jokes: What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog!
    155. What do you call a cold dog?… A Chilli Dog.
    156. What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?… That hit the spots!
    157. What kind of dog likes taking a bath?…a shampoodle!
    158. I refuse to take my dog on road trips anymore… He can be such a bark seat driver.
    159. Skeleton Jokes: What did the skeleton say to the puppy?… boneappetite.
    160. Why aren’t dogs good dancers?… Because they have two left feet.
    161. Bee Jokes: What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?… A greyhound buzz!
    162. Cemetery Jokes: Why do puppies bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees!
    163. Music Jokes: What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?… “I must throw that doggie out the window!”
    164. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?… A collie-flower!
    165. Why do puppies wag their tails?… “Because no one else will do it for them!”
    166. What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?… “Well, doggone!”
    167. Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?… He was CON-fused!
    168. What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?… A friend you can count on.
    169. Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?… It was a dog and pony show.
    170. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?…  The collie wobbles!
    171. What do you call a black Eskimo dog?… A dusky husky!
    172. When does a dog go “moo”?… When it is learning a new language!
    173. What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?… It barked with de-light!
    174. What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?…It starts raining cats and dogs.
    175. What is a dog’s favorite sport?…Formula 1 drooling! 
    176. Why did the dog wear white sneakers?… Because his boots were at the menders!
    177. What is a dog’s favorite food?… Anything that is on your plate!
    178. What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?… A sausage dog!
    179. What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?… A dog that chases cars – and catches them! 
    180. Napping Jokes: Where did the dog fall asleep?… In the barking lot.
    181. What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat?… Ten After One.
    182. Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?… Because they always it the Paws button!
    183. Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?… Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
    184. What is a dog’s favorite flower?… Anything in your garden!
    185. What’s a dog favorite hobby?… Collecting fleas!
    186. How does a dog stop a video?… By pressing the paws button.
    187. Where do you put barking dogs?… In a barking lot.
    188. What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?… A chili dog on a bun! 
    189. Why did the dog stay in the shade?… Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog.
    190. Tree Jokes: Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard?… Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.
    191. Tree Jokes: What do you do when your dog goes missing in the forest?… Put your ear to a tree and listen for the bark.
    192. Why did the dog cross the road twice?… He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
    193. What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?… Cockerpoodledoo!
    194. What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories?… A shaggy dogs tale!
    195. I asked my dog what’s that thing on top of the house?… And the he said “Roof Roof.”
    196. Tree Jokes: Tree: Do you like bark? Dog: What do you think? I bark every day of my life.
    197. What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?… A croaker spaniel!
    198. What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?… Pupcakes!
    199. What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?… That’s ruffffffff!!
    200. Dalmatian say after his meal?… “That hit the spots!”
    201. If you want your dog to stop digging up your garden… all you have to do is take away his shovel.
    202. I’m deeply attached to about five people … and 400 dogs on the internet I’ve never met.
  • Teacher Jokes for August

    My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for EducationParentsTravelTutoringSportsMusic and College.

    Google Search “Teacher Jokes for August”

    1. Back to School Jokes: Lawn Sign on the First Day of School: Dear Teachers, Tag your it! Love the Parents.
    2. August 2nd National Watermelon Day Watermelon Jokes: Why was the teacher suspicious of the Watermelon during the exam… She couldn’t really put her finger on it. He just looked a little seedy.
    3. August 2nd National Ice Cream Sandwich Day: What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream) sandwich.
    4. August 4th is Chocolate Chip Cookie Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the field trip to the Chocolate Chip cookie factory?… It is crummy.
    5. Music Jokes: What is on every teacher’s playlist?… School Boy Heart by Jimmy Buffett.
    6. Navy Jokes: Why did the navy ship go to school?… It wanted to learn how to make waves!
    7. Hurricane Jokes: Why did the teacher rush to the hurricane flood zone?… To test the water.
    8. Music Jokes: What Jimmy Buffett song is on every teacher’s summer playlist ?… “Summerzcool.”
    9. August 9, 2025 Sturgeon Moon: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gusta see the Sturgeon Full Moon on August 9, 2025.
    10. Navy Jokes: What grades do you need to join the Navy?… 7 C’s. 
    11. Lord of the Rings Jokes:My teacher must really like Lord of the Rings… Whenever I ask about my grades she just says “You shall not pass!”
    12. August 12th World Elephant Day: 101 Elephant Jokes: Teacher: What’s gray, has four legs and a trunk? Student: An elephant. Teacher: No, a mouse on vacation.
    13. Hurricane Knock Knock Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… Ida… Ida Who?… Ida trust the National Hurricane Center and listen to their advice!
    14. Why are conjunctions dogs’ favorite parts of speech?… Dogs love buts.
    15. Why did the robot go on summer vacation?… He needed to recharge his batteries.
    16. Why don’t mummies go on summer vacation?… They’re afraid to relax and unwind!
    17. What summer vacation destination makes a pet bird sing for joy?… The Canary Islands!
    18. What kind of school do you go to if you’re an ice cream man?… Sundae school.
    19. What kind of school do you go to if you’re a surfer?…  Boarding school.
    20. Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses at summer school?… She had bright students! 
    21. How do bees get to school?… By school buzz!
    22. Why did the dog do so well in school?… He was the teacher’s pet.
    23. Teacher: Where is your homework? Student: I ate it. Teacher: Why? Student: You said it was a piece of cake!
    24. What did the dog do when he graduated from obedience school?… He had a paw-ty!
    25. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”
    26. What do dogs get after they graduate from obedience school?… Their masters.
    27. What is the first thing a little snake learns in school?… Hiss tory. 
    28. August 24th National Waffle Day: Waffle Jokes: Do you know what Betty Crocker cupcakes & a Little League World Series team have in common?… They both count on the batter! 
    29. What has given Mr. Bubbles nightmares since elementary school?… Pop quizzes! 
    30. Teacher: I’ll be teaching you English this year and there are two words that I will not permit on any of your writing assignments. One is “cool” and the other is “lousy.” Student: Okay, what are the words?
    31. Alabama Jokes: Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B!
    32. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They’re good at trick questions.
    33. Where do math teachers like to go on summer vacation?… Times Square! (New York Jokes)
    34. What is a teacher’s favorite Jimmy Buffett song?… “Summerzcool.”
    35. Where do math teachers like to go on vacation?… Times Square! (New York Jokes)
    36. How is the student’s grade like going on summer beach vacation?… It was at C level. (Jokes for the Last Day of School & Jokes for Teachers)