Month: December 2019

1st 52, Find a tutor, Peter Reynolds, Dot Day, Social Moms, Dot Day Celebration, Education Nation,Find a Hanover MA tutor, South Shor tutors, top twitter accounts for parents, top twitter accounts for teachers, Great twitter accounts for parents & teachers

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• Elementary School Jokes
• 365 Jokes for Teachers
• Prom Jokes
• Field Trip Jokes
• Middle School Jokes
• High School Jokes
• Terrific Teacher Jokes:

1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes for teachers.
2. Star Wars Jokes: How long has Anakin Skywalker been evil?… Since the Sith Grade..
3. Student: Can I ask you a question? Teacher: You just have. (Grammar Jokes)
4. Jokes for the Last Day of School: School Sign on the Last Day of School: Dear Parents, Tag your it! Love the Teachers.
5. You’re So Bad by Tom Petty… the official song of school suspensions.
6. You’re So Bad by Tom Petty… the official song of school detentions.
7. Jokes for the Last Day of School: Science Teacher: When is the boiling point reached?… student: When my father sees my final report card!  
8. Field Trip Jokes: My class went on a field trip to a farm and had from a pampered cow?… It was spoiled milk.
9. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the BEST School jokes in the World. (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids)
10. School Sign on the Last Day of School: Dear Parents, Tag your it! Love Teachers. (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
11. Skiing Jokes: I was passing gym class with flying colors until we got to the skiing unit… It was downhill from there. 
12. I asked my teacher what he’d do if the 1st Amendment was abolished… He couldn’t say.
13. Teacher: What is the most common phrase used in school? Student: I don’t know! Teacher: Correct! (Grammar Jokes)
14. Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?… Science student: When my father sees my report card! (Teacher Jokes & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
16. Why are fish so smart?… They live in schools! (180 School Jokes & Fish Jokes)
17. Why did the elementary student cross the playground?… To get to the other slide.
18. Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. ‘Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school’ ‘But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.’ ‘Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.’ ‘Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!’ ‘Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.’ ‘Give me two reasons why I should go to school.’ ‘Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the teacher!’ (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
19. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Teacher Jokes & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
20. 2025 Preakness States: Who is a an English teacher’s favorite race horse of all time?… Journalism.
21. Who’s in charge of the school during summer vacation?… The rulers.
22. Why is Alabama the smartest state?… Because it has 4 A’s and 1 B! (Alabama Jokes)
23. How is an English teacher like a judge?… They both give out sentences! (Grammar Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
24. Why did the little lobster start wearing fancy clothes to the posh pier school?… She did it out of pier pressure. (Lobster Jokes)
25. What school supply is still tired all summer long?… A knapsack. (Napping Jokes)
26. I bought photo frames for my friends as a gift for the last day of school for only a dollar… It was a good buy. (Photography Jokes)
27. What if math teachers are pirates… and they just want us to find X so they can get the buried treasure? (Pirate Jokes)
28. What is a math teacher’s favorite season?… “Sum”mer. (Math Jokes for Kids & Summer Camp Jokes)
29. Why was Harry Potter sent to the office?… Because he was cursing in class! (School Jokes & Principal Jokes)
30. June 27th National Sunglasses Day: I always wear sunglasses while I’m teaching… because my students are too bright.
31. Teacher: Give me a sentence beginning with “I.” Student: I is the… Teacher: Remember you must say “I am” not “I is.” Student: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. (Grammar Jokes)
32. Teacher: What are two pronouns? Student: Who? Me? (Grammar Jokes)
33. What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?… A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!” (Train Jokes)
34. Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Sara’s exam? Student: I hope you didn’t either.
35. Do fish go on vacation?… No, because they’re always in schools!
36. You know what’s odd?… Every other number! (Math Jokes for Kids)
37. Child: I think we need a new teacher. Mom: Why’s that? Child: Our teacher doesn’t know anything! She keeps asking us for the answers…
38. Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? / Spelling Lists / Pirate Jokes / 180 School Jokes)
39. How do you comfort a grammar teacher?… Say… “They’re, there, their.” (Grammar Jokes)
40. Why was the geometry book so adorable?… Because it had acute angles. (Geometry Jokes) 
41. What do you call a teacher who forgot to take attendance?… Absent-minded.
42. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?… In the kindergarden. (Flower Jokes & Kindergarten Jokes)
43. What is a math teacher’s favorite snake?… a pi – thon. (Snake Jokes)
44. What dinosaur knows the most synonyms?… A Thesaurus. (Grammar Jokes & Dinosaur Jokes)
45. What did the triangle say to the circle?… You are pointless. (Geometry Jokes) 
46. What do you call an English teacher with a social media addiction?… An Instagrammar. (Grammar Jokes)
47. Why did the student bring a ladder to school?… Because they heard it was high school! (High School Jokes)
48. What are ten things a teacher can always count on?… Their fingers. (Biology Jokes)
49. Why do magicians do so well in school?… They are so good at the trick questions!
50. What is a pirate’s favorite class?… Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt! (Art Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
51. Teacher: If I had 8 oranges in one hand and 10 apples in the other hand, what would I have? Student: Big hands!
52. What do librarians use as fishing bait?… A bookworm. (Book Jokes)
53. Pirates are not very good students… They are just above C-level. (Pirate Jokes)
54. What do you call a group of boys who love math?… Alge-bros. (Algebra Jokes)
55. What do you call a pirate that skips class?… Captain Hooky! (Pirate Jokes)
56. What students like vegetables the most?… Kindergardners. (Kindergarten Jokes)
57. What do you call a ruler, protractor, and a compass hanging out together?… Weapons of Math Instruction. (Math Jokes for Kids)
58. What competition do skunks win at school?… The smelling bee. (Bee Jokes & Skunk Jokes)
59. What do you call when the high school biology teachers take a picture?… Cell-fie. (Biology Jokes & Photography Jokes)
60. What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Cat Jokes)
61. Why did the school librarian get kicked off the plane?… It was overbooked! (Library Jokes)
62. What is the longest word in the English Dictionary?… Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last one. (Grammar Jokes)
63. Why did the teacher write on the window?… Because she wanted the lesson to be clear!
64. My Social Studies teacher can read maps better than anyone I know… She is a legend. (Social Studies Jokes)
65. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed?… She couldn’t control her pupils!
66. Principal Jokes for Kids: Students going to the Homecoming Dance: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to take a breathalizer? (Police Jokes & Homecoming Jokes
67. I am close with 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know Y.
68. Why did the echo get detention?… It kept answering back.
69. What do you call an acid with an attitude?… A – Mean – Oh acid. (Biology Jokes)
70. What do you call a music teacher with problems?… A trebled person. (365 Music Jokes)
71. When did Anakin’s Jedi masters know he was leaning towards the dark side?… In the Sith Grade. (Star Wars Jokes for Kids)
72. What do math teachers like to eat?… Pi. (Pi Jokes)
73. How are coffee beans like middle school kids?… They’re always getting grounded. (Coffee Jokes)
74. Why is 6 afraid of 7?… Because 7 8 (ate) 9. (Math Jokes for Kids)
75. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?… Lots of blood tests! (Vampire Jokes)
76. Why did the student eat his homework?… The teacher said it was a piece of cake. (Cake Jokes)
77. Why did the students study in the airplane?… Because they wanted higher grades. (Plane Jokes)
78. Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
79. Why did the teacher dive into the ocean, lake, river, or pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes / Teacher Jokes / 180 School Jokes / Ocean Jokes)
80. What’s a teacher’s favorite type of music?… Class-ical! (365 Music Jokes)
81. Why did the student put their pencil under their pillow?… They wanted to draw their dreams! (Pencil Jokes)
82. Where does a surfer go to school?… Boarding school
83. Why couldn’t the music teacher open the piano?… All the keys were on the inside. (365 Music Jokes)
84. What’s a math teacher’s favorite place in New York?… Times Square. (New York Jokes & Math Jokes for Kids)
85. What do you call Santa’s siblings?… Relative clauses. (Christmas Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
86. What do you call bears with no ears?… B. (Bear Jokes)
87. Why did the M&M go to school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Candy Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
88. Old math teachers never die… They just lose some of their functions. (Cemetery Jokes)
89. What does a Math Teacher climb for fun?… Geome-tree. (Geometry Jokes) 
90. Why is it sad parallel lines will never meet?… because they have so much in common.
91. Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?… There was no chemistry. (Physics Jokes / Biology Jokes / Chemistry Jokes))
92. What did the ghost teacher say to his class?… “Look at the board and I’ll go through it again!” (Ghost Jokes & Top 10 Teacher Jokes)
93. Time is a great teacher… unfortunately it kills all its students.
94. Teacher: You missed school yesterday. Student: Not really.
95. What pencil did Shakespeare write with?… . 2B. (Pencil Jokes)
96. What kind of meals do math teachers eat?… Square meals.(Geometry Jokes) 
97. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… On the bottom.
98. Where do pencils come from?… Pennsylvania.
99. Why were the early history called the Dark Ages?… Because there were so many knights.
100. Why is the obtuse angle angry?… Because he is never right.
101. Do you know what is odd?… Numbers that cannot be divided by 2!
102. Where did the piano teacher go on vacation?… The Florida Keys.
103. What do you call an ant who skips school?… A truant! (Ant Jokes)
104. What’s a school teacher’s favorite nation?… Expla-nation. (World Geography)
105. Knock Knock!… Who’s there!… B-2!… B-2 who?… B-2 school on time! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
106. Why do calculators make great friends?… You can always count on them.
107. Who’s the king of the classroom?… The ruler!
108. Chemistry Teacher: Be like a proton… ALWAYS positive.
109. English Teacher: Last night someone broke into my classroom and stole all the dictionaries… I am at a complete loss of words.
110. The past, present, and future walk into the class for the last day of school… It was tense. (Jokes for the Last Day of School)
111. My student is reading a book on anti-gravity… she can’t put it down.
112. Why did the student get mad when his math teacher called him average?… It was just a “mean” thing to say.
113. Which king loved fractions?… Henry the 1/8th.
114. Where are all the top math teachers buried?… The symmetry.
115. Why does algebra make you a better dancer?… Because you can use your alg0 – rhythm.
116. Why did Pi gets it’s driver’s license revoked?… It did not know when to stop.
117. How does a bee get to class?… On the school-buzz. (180 School Jokes)
118. What’s more amazing than a talking dog?… A Spelling Bee. (Dog Jokes for Kids & 26 Kindergarten Lessons ABC)
119. Why is history the sweetest subject?… Because it’s full of dates.
120. What are double negatives?… a big NO-NO!
121. Why is a corner always the hottest part of a school room?… It is 90 degrees.
122. Student: What is your favorite element? Chemistry Teacher: Helium. I can’t speak highly enough about it.
123. Never date an apostrophe… They are too possessive.
124. Teacher: “More than 200 years ago, our forefathers defeated the British in the Revolutionary War.”… Student: “Wow! They must have been pretty strong, four men defeating a whole army!” (180 School Jokes & 4th of July Jokes for Kids)
125. Why did the biology teacher go to jail?… She stole cell phones!
126. “We have too many quizzes in school!” the middle student said testily.
127. Did you hear about the kid-napping at school?… It’s ok, he woke up!
128. Why did the teacher go to the picnic?… To learn about ant-cedents! (Grammar Jokes)
129. Why did the scarecrow become a teacher?… Because he was outstanding in his field! (Farming Jokes)
130. When is a blue school book not a blue school book?… When it is read! (180 School Jokes & Book Jokes)
131. What do you call a boy with a dictionary in his pocket?… Smartie Pants! (Grammar Jokes)
132. Why did the M&M go to middle school?… Because he really wanted to be a Smartie! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
133. Why did the nose not want to go to middle school?… He was tired of getting picked on! (October: Bullying Prevention Month)
134. Why did Rudolph get a bad report card?… Because he went down in history. (History Jokes)
135. Why was the geometry class always tired?… Because they were all out of shape.
136. Why was the computer cold in class?… It left its Windows open. (Computer Jokes)
137. Why don’t scientist teachers trust atoms?… Because they make up everything! (Chemistry Jokes)
138. What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?… Time to run! (Track and Field Jokes)
139. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses?… Because her students were so bright! (Sun Jokes)
140. What do you call a bear with no teeth?… A gummy bear!
141. Why did Columbus do on his school report cards?… He always worked at C-Level. (Columbus Day Jokes)
142. What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long? (Top Math Jokes & 101 Pi Day Jokes)
143. Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?… Because they dropped out of school. (Ocean Jokes)
144. What middle school supply is always tired?… A knapsack! (Napping Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
145. Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor roll. (Hot Dog Jokes)
146. How do you fix a broken teacher?… With glue sticks!
147. Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?… I don’t know. Because it was always sweeping during class! (Napping Jokes)
148. What did the fish get on his math test?… A sea plus. (Ocean Jokes Math Jokes for Kids)
149. What did one wall say to the other wall?… “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
150. Why did the history teacher go to the beach?… To catch some waves from the past!
151. What do you call a fish who teaches music?… A bass-oon!
152. Which school teaches you to greet people?… “Hi” school
153. Why did the English teacher bring a ladder to class?… To help students find the right phrases!
154. Why did the music teacher go to jail?… She got caught with too many sharp objects!
155. Why did the geometry teacher go to the beach?… To catch some rays and angles!
156. What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?… A private tutor.
157. Why did the computer science teacher get in trouble?… He forgot to Ctrl-Alt-Delete his mistakes!
158. How do you organize a space party?… You “planet!”
159. How does a scientist freshen their breath?… With experi-mints.
160. Why did the art teacher go to the hospital? She had too many strokes.
161. Why did the geography teacher get in trouble?… He lost his bearings!
162. Why did the teacher go to the beach during math class?… She wanted to work on her tan-gents!
163. Which tool is best for math?… The multi-pliers.
164. Why was the geometry class always tired?… Because they were all out of shape.
165. Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?… The teacher told them not to use tables.
166. Why was the fraction skeptical about marrying the decimal?… Because he would have to convert.
167. How was the Roman Empire cut in half?… With a pair of Caesars!
168. Swimmers love one kind of math more than all others, what is it?… Dive-ision!
169. If Satan was a teacher, which subject would he teach?… Trigonometry because there’s a lot of sin.
170. Why did the teacher go to the bakery?… She wanted to improve her fractions!
171. Which school teachers have the greenest thumbs?… The kinder-garden teachers!
172. Why didn’t the banana go to school?… It wasn’t peeling well!
173. Why doesn’t the sun have to go to school?… It’s bright enough!
174. When do you go on red and stop at green?… When you’re eating a watermelon!
175. Teacher: Why are you late for school? Student: Because of a sign down the road. The sign said, “School Ahead, Go Slow!
176. What is a snake’s favorite class?… Hissss-tory! (Top Social Studies Jokes)
177. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah who?… Noah more summer vacation – it’s time for school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
178. Why do trees hate going back to school in the fall?… Because they’re easily stumped! (Fall Jokes & Back to School Jokes)
179. What is a witch’s favorite class?… Spelling.
180. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Doughnut. Doughnut Who?… Doughnut forget do your homework or you will have to go to summer school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids / Summer School Jokes / Donut Jokes)
181. Teacher: What did you do this weekend? Student: I did some baking. Synonym rolls just like grammar used to make!
182. What did the math book tell the pencil?…. I have a lot of problems.
183. What do billboards study in school?…. Sign language!
184. Did you hear the joke about the school construction project?….I’m still working on it!
185. Where do you smart hot dogs go?… On the honor roll. (Hot Dog Jokes)
186. Why did the middle school student steal a chair from the classroom?… Because the teacher told him to take a seat.
187. I just asked my teacher what his favorite part about being a teacher is…He responded with June, July, and August. (180 School Jokes & June Jokes)
188. Why didn’t the class clown use hair oil the day before the big test?… Because he didn’t want anything to slip his mind.
189. What did the left eye say to the right eye?… Something between us smells!
190. Where do you put smart hot dogs?…. On honor rolls! (Hot Dog Jokes & 180 School jokes)
191. What do you call a Boston crème do-nut that’s a straight A student?… The cream of the crop. (Donut Jokes)
192. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But what do two WRIGHTS make?… A plane (Orville and Wilbur WRIGHT)!
193. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a tiger?… I don’t know, but you better behave in their class!
194. What did the dentist give to the marching band?… A TUBA toothpaste.
195. Why did Rudolph’s nose light up in school?… He was a very bright student. (Reindeer Jokes)
196. What do elves learn in school?… The elf-abet! (Elf Jokes)
197. Why was the glow worm teacher unhappy?… Her students weren’t bright enough. (365 Teacher Jokes & Worm Jokes)
198. What do a chicken and a school band have in common?….They both have drum sticks!
199. How was that Camping Field Trip?…Intense (in-tents)!
200. Why are glow worms good to carry in your backpack?… They can lighten your load (Worm Jokes)
201. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints! (Elementary School Jokes)
202. Why did the sun go to school?… To get brighter. (Sun Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
203. Why did the worm cross the ruler?… To become an inchworm. (Worm Jokes)
204. Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits! (Gymnastics Jokes & Banana Jokes)
205. Why won’t the elephant use the computer?…. He’s afraid of the mouse! (Computer Jokes & Elephant Jokes)
206. What did zero (0) say to eight (8)?… Nice belt.
207. What is the state with the loudest teachers?… ILL-I-NOISE (Top Geography Jokes)
208. What is the state with the loudest students?… ILL-I-NOISE (Top Geography Jokes)
209. How do athletes stay cool during a high school game?…They sit near the fans!
210. What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left for school?….Bye son (bison)
211. Why is it so hot in a high school football stadium after a game?….All the fans have left!
212. What did the high school mermaid say when the boy sea asked her for a date?….Shore. (Top Geography Jokes)
213. What did one math book say to the other?… You think you’ve got problems.
214. Where can you find an ocean without water?…. on a map! (Top Geography Jokes)
215. Where do high school drama teaches like to take their students on a camping field trip?… The Hollywoods! (Top Geography Jokes)
216. When is a high school theater clumsy?… When the curtain falls.
217. Why was the book in the hospital?… Because it hurt his spine.
218. Why didn’t the skeleton go to school?… He had NO BODY to go with.
219. Why did the student throw a clock out the window?… He wanted time to fly.
220. What kind of pants do ghosts wear to school?… Boo jeans! (Top Halloween Jokes)
221. Why did the teacher throw a clock out the window?… He wanted time to fly.
222. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?… RRRRR (Top Pirate Jokes)
223. Why did the principal throw a clock out the window?… He wanted time to fly.
224. Where do you put smart hamburgers?….On honor rolls!
225. Why didn’t the skeleton go to school dance?… He had NO BODY to go with.
226. Where do you put smart sausages?….On honor rolls!
227. When is the best time for a student to go to the dentist?…2:30 (Tooth Hurty)!
228. Why did the teacher marry the janitor?… Because they swept them off their feet.
229. When is the best time for a teacher to go to the dentist?…2:32 (Tooth Hurty too)!
230. What high school supply is always tired?… A knapsack! (Napping Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
231. Did you hear about the teacher who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?… He’s all right now.
232. What did the picture in the principal’s office say to the wall?… I was framed!
233. Why was the cafeteria clock behind on the first day?… It kept going back four seconds.
234. What room can a student never enter?… A mushroom.
235. What does a book do when it gets cold?… It puts on a jacket.
236. Why is glue terrible at math?… It always gets stuck on the problems.
237. What flies around the school at night?… An alpha-bat
238. More Jokes for Fun What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer! (Cow Jokes & Napping Jokes)
239. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty
240. What kind of hats do they where at the North Pole?…. Ice Caps! (Top Geography Jokes)
241. What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream) (Ice Cream Day Jokes)
242. What is a cat’s favorite dessert?….Pie a la meow’d!!!
243. Why is music like a fish?…. They both have scales!
244. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?…. a walkie-talkie
245. What happens when you wear a snowsuit inside?…… It melts! (Top Winter Jokes)
246. Did you hear about the dog at the flea circus?… He stole the show!
247. What does an envelope say when you lick it?… Nothing. It just shuts up.
248. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?… It waves! (Top Geography Jokes)
249. Which are the stronger days of the week?…Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
250. Which runs faster, hot or cold?… Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
251. What did the flower say to the bike?… Petal!
252. Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?… No, but the ice cracked up.
253. Knock knockout?…  Who is there?…Daisy…Daisy who?…Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
254. What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?… You’re too little to smoke!
255. What did the stamp say to the envelope?… Stick with me we’ll go places!
256. What do you call a cow with no legs?… Ground beef.
257. How do you make a tissue dance?… Put a little boogey in it!
258. What did the water say to the boat?… Nothing, it just waved. (Top Geography Jokes)
259. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?…They don’t have the guts.
260. Did you hear about the kidnapping?… Probably not, he is still sleeping.
261. How do small children travel?… In mini-vans
262. What has hands but does not clap…. A clock!
263. How do you make an egg roll?…. You push it.
264. What kind of chain is edible?…. A food chain! (Top Science Jokes)
265. How do hens stay fit?….The “egg-ercise”
266. What kind of cat likes water?….an octopuss!
267. What did the bunny say on January 1st?….Hoppy new year!
268. Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
269. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
270. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
271. When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar.
272. What is the best thing to put into a pie?….A fork!
273. What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
274. What do call of people afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic
275. What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?….A plain (plane) donut!
276. Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!
277. Did you hear the joke about the cookie?….It is crummy.
278. What is a cat’s favorite color?….PUUUUURple
279. What goes tick-tock, woof-woof?….A watchdog!
280. How do you get a peanut to laugh?…. you crack it up!
281. Why did the farmer bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich!
282. Why do shoemakers go to heaven?…. Because they have good soles!
283. What do you call it when a cat sues another cat? … A Claw suit.
284. Why do fish swim in salt water?… Pepper makes them sneeze.
285. What is a robot’s favorite snack?… Computer chips!
286. What do you call a fish with two knees?… A two nee fish!
287. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?… Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bay gulls (bagels)! (Top Geography Jokes)
288. Why did the boy stare at the automobile’s radio?… He wanted to watch a car-tune.
289. Why was the annoying exterminator fired?… Because he bugged his boss.
290. How did the soldier fit his tank in his house?… It was a fish tank!
291. What did the leaves name their sons?… Russell. (Top Fall Jokes)
292. What is a rapper’s favorite toy?… a yo – YO!
293. Have you heard of the singing group the three dwarves?… Probably not. They are not that big.
294. What has wheels and flies?… a garbage truck!
295. Where do cows go on dates?… MOOOOvies
296. Why was the trashcan sad?… He / she was dumped.
297. Why did the cookie cry?… He was feeling crumby.
298. Why did the computer go to the doctors?… It had a virus.
299. Why do birds fly south in the winter?… Because it’s too far to walk!
300. What do you call a cow with no feet?… Ground beef!
301. What do prisoners use to call each other?… Cell phones.
302. What do you get from a pampered cow?… Spoiled milk.
303. What dog keeps the best time?… A watchdog.
304. What did the bottle of dressing say to the person who opened the refrigerator door?… “SHUT THE DOOR!” I’m dressing!
305. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?…Dam! (Top Geography Jokes)
306. Why is a traffic light red?… You would be red too if you were changing in front of people all day.
307. Why does the pirate wear camouflage underwear?… To hide his booty! (Top Pirate Jokes)
308. Did I tell you the joke about the ceiling?… Oh forget it. It’s over your head.
309. What room is a dead man most afraid of?… The living room!
310. What did the ocean say to the other ocean?… Nothing. He waved.  (Top Geography Jokes)
311. Why was the strawberry sad?… His mother got into a JAM!
312. What do you call cheese that is not yours?… NACHO cheese!
313. What did one cannibal say to other after eating a clown?… Hey! Does this taste FUNNY to you?
314. What did one lamp say to the other lamp?… Hey! You turn me on!
315. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?… The wedding ceremony wasn’t too good, but the reception was great!
316. What did the man say when he walked into the bar?… Ouch!
317. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?… They’re trying to get away from the noise.
318. What does a skeleton order when he goes to a bar?… A beer and a mop.
319. Where do fish put their money?….. in a river bank!
320. What is the favorite TV show of fish?… Name that TUNA!
321. What did one penny say to the other penny?… Let’s get together and make some (sense) cents!
322. How much did it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? … a buck an ear (a buccaneer)!
323. Why did the skeleton go to the piano store?…To buy some organs!
324. What section of the paper does a ghost always read?…the HORRORscopes
325. Why did the skeleton hold up the barbecue?… He needed a spare rib.
326. What did one eye say to the other eye?… Something between us smells!
327. What do you call a cow that walks on water?… Holy cow!
328. Why did the lettuce beat the carrot in a race?… Because it was a head!
329. What do you call a deer with no eyes?… No-Eye Deer.
330. What do you call a deer with no eyes AND no legs… Still, no eyed deer!
331. What do you get you drop a piano down a mineshaft?… A flat minor.
332. What did one plate say to the other plate?…Lunch (dinner, or breakfast) is on me!
333. Where does Santa keep his money?… In a snow bank!
334. What did one wall say to the other?… Hey, let’s meet in the corner.
335. What is a knight’s favorite fish?… swordfish
336. Why do fish swim in salt water?… Pepper makes them sneeze.
337. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Daisy… Daisy who?… Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
338. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? … A nervous wreck.
339. Why did the man put his money in the freezer?… He wanted cold hard cash!
340. What is a construction workers favorite bird? … A crane!
341. If two is a pair and three is a crowd, what are four and five?… Nine!
342. Why did the turtle cross the road? … To get to the “Shell” (gas) stations! (World Turtle Day Jokes / Turtle Jokes for Kids / Turtle Jokes)
343. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? … Because he’s always a little short.
344. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Irish…Irish who? … Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day! (Top St. Patrick’s Day Jokes)
345. When does “B” come after “U”?… When you disturb its hive.9
346. What is a frog’s favorite drink? … “croak – a – cola”
347. Have you heard the joke about the baseball? … It’ll leave you in stitches. (Top Baseball Jokes)
348. If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring? … Pilgrims (Top Thanksgiving Day Jokes)
349. What did one candle say to the other candle? … Are you going out tonight?
350. What did the blanket say to the bed? … Don’t worry. I got you covered.
351. Why did Silly Bill tip toe past the medicine cabinet? … He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.
352. What is a pokemon’s favorite dance? … The hokey pokemon
353. What bird can write under water? … A ball-point “pen” quin
354. Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk? … It’ll crack you up!
355. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Dwayne…Dwayne who? … Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!
356. Why did the turkey cross the road? … To prove it wasn’t chicken.
357. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…No body… (Don’t say anything)!
358. What kind of witch likes the beach? …  a SAND witch (sandwich)!
359. What do you get if you say “Tornado” ten times backward and forward? … A real tongue-twister!
360. Did you hear the one about the duck who robbed banks? … He was a safe quacker.
361. What kind of key does not open a lock? … a mon – KEY!
362. Why is your nose in the middle of your face? … Because it is the “scenter.” / Center!
363. How do you make a Venetian blind? … Poke him in the eye.
364. What do you call a bird that is sad? … A Blue Bird!
365. What do you call a fish with no I’s? … A Fssssssh!
366. Why did the baseball player get arrested? … Because he stole second base!
367. What was the baby ant so confused? … Because all his uncles were ANTS!
368. Why was the dolphin so sad? … Because he had no PORPOISE in life!
369. What happened when the frog parked illegally? … It was TOAD!!
370. What always falls and never gets hurt?……..rain!
371. I heard they put a new wing on the school….That is true, but it still won’t fly.
372. What do astronauts have for dinner?…Launch meat!
373. What letters are not in the alphabet?…The ones in the mail.
374. Knock Knock!…Who’s there?…Cargo!…Cargo who?…CarGo Beep Beep!
375. What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?… anything you want, it can’t hear you!
376. What is the only bow that you can’t tie?…Rainbow!
377. Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?…Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!!
378. What is the loudest state?… ILL-I-NOISE (Top Geography Jokes)
379. Knock knock…who’s there?…little boy…little boy who?…little boy who can’t reach the doorbell!
380. Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?… to see a butterfly!
382. Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?…Because they are always stuffed!
383. How are coffee beans like high school kids?… They’re always getting grounded. 
384. What do you call cheese that is not yours?… NA Cho cheese! (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
385. Knock Knock!… Who’s there!… B-2!… B-2 who?… B-2 middle school on time! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
386. How do billboards talk?…. Sign language!
387. Why does the pirate wear camouflage underwear on the field trip?… To hide his booty!
388. What state has the loudest school field trips?… ILL-I-NOISE!
389. What did the dentist give to the marching band before they went on the band field trip?…A TUBA toothpaste.
390. What dog keeps the best time on a field trip?…A watchdog.
391. What did the ocean say to students on the Whale Watching field trip?…Nothing. He waved.
392. Why didn’t the skeleton go on the field trip?…He had NO BODY to go with.
393. What is a rapper’s favorite toy to bring on a field trip?…a yo – YO!
394. What kind of witch bring on the field trip for lunch? …  a SAND witch (sandwich)!
395. What type of bear can you bring on a school field trip?…a Gummy bear!
396. Why did the cookie cry on the field trip?…He was feeling crumby.
397. What kind of pants do ghosts wear on a field trip?…Boo jeans!
398. What is a snake’s favorite type of field trip?…Hissss-tory!
399. Why did the computer miss the field trip?…It had a virus.
400. On the field trip to the art museum, what did the picture say to the wall?… I was framed!
401. Did I tell you the joke about the Art Museum ceiling on our field trip?…Oh forget it. It’s over your head.
402. Prom Jokes: Students going to prom: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Dewey….Dewey who?… Dewey have to take a breathalizer at the prom?   
403. Elementary School Jokes: If the #2 pencil is the most popular in elementary schools, why isn’t it #1? (180 School Jokes & Pencil Jokes)
404. High School Jokes: Spring Fever: Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes. After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire. Much to their relief she smiled and said, “Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper.” Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down. Then she said: “First Question: Which tire was flat?”
405. Middle School Jokes: Why is a middle school band like a fish?…. They both have scales!
406. Elementary School Jokes: Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best elementary school school jokes!
407. March 1st: I asked my student when her birthday was and she said March 1st… I have been marching for half an hour now, and she still hasn’t told me.
408. Why did the inches obey the yardstick?… He was their ruler!
409. What do you find in an empty nose?…fingerprints
410. Why are bananas good at gymnastics… They do great banana splits!
411. Why won’t the elephant use the computer?….He’s afraid of the mouse!
412. What do you call a sleeping cow?… a bulldozer!
413. What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?….Patty
414. What did the square say to the old circle?… Been around long?
415. What kind of hats do they where at the North Pole?….Ice Caps
416. What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream)
417. What is a cat’s favorite dessert?….Pie a la meow’d!!!
418. Why is music like a fish?…. they both have scales!
419. What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?…. a walkie-talkie
420. What happens when you wear a snowsuit inside?…… It melts!
421. Did you hear about the dog at the flea circus? …He stole the show!
422. What does an envelope say when you lick it?…Nothing. It just shuts up.
423. How can you tell the ocean is friendly?…It waves!
424. Which are the stronger days of the week?…Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.
425. Which runs faster, hot or cold?…Hot. Everyone can catch a cold.
426. What did the flower say to the bike?…Petal!
427. Did people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?…No, but the ice cracked up.
428. Knock knockout?…  Who is there?,,Daisy…Daisy who?…Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
429. How do athletes stay cool during a game?…They sit near the fans!
430. What did the older chimney say to the younger chimney?…You’re too little to smoke!
431. What did the stamp say to the envelope?…Stick with me we’ll go places!
432. What do you call a cow with no legs?…Ground beef.
433. How do you make a tissue dance?…Put a little boogey in it!
434. What did the water say to the boat?…Nothing, it just waved.
435. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?…They don’t have the guts.
436. Did you hear about the kidnapping?…Probably not, he is still sleeping.
437. How do small children travel?…In mini-vans
438. What has hands but does not clap….A clock!
439. How do you make an egg roll?….You push it.
440. What did the math book tell the pencil?….I have a lot of problems.
441. How do billboards talk?….Sign language!
442. What kind of chain is edible?….A food chain!
443. How do hens stay fit?….The “egg-ercise”
444. What kind of cat likes water?….an octopuss!
445. What did the bunny say on January 1st?….Hoppy new year!
446. What do a chicken and a band have in common?….They both have drum sticks!
447. Why did the tomato turn red?….It saw the salad dressing!
448. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?….It let out a little wine!
449. Where did the spaghetti go to dance?….The Meat Ball!
450. When is a door like a bottle?….When the door is ajar.
451. What is the best thing to put into a pie?….A fork!
452. What does a pig put on a cut?….Oinkment
453. What do call of people afraid of Santa Claus?….Claustrophobic
454. What did the father buffalo say to his son?….Bye son (bison)
455. What is a pilot’s favorite type of donut?….A plain (plane) donut!
456. Why is it so hot in a football stadium after a game?….All the fans have left!
457. Why is a lost Dalmatian easily found?….Because he is always spotted!
458. Did you hear the joke about the cookie?….It is crummy.
459. What is a cat’s favorite color?….PUUUUURple
460. Did you hear the joke about the construction project?….I’m still working on it!
461. Where do you put smart hot dogs?….On honor rolls!
462. What goes tick-tock, woof-woof?….A watchdog!
463. What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date?….Shore.
464. How do you get a peanut to laugh?….you crack it up!
465. Why did the farmer bury all his money?….to make his soil rich!
466. Where can you find an ocean without water?….on a map!
467. Why do shoemakers go to heaven?….Because they have good soles!
468. What do you call it when a cat sues another cat?   … A Claw suit.
469. Where do actors like to camp? ……The Hollywoods!
470. Why do fish swim in salt water?….Pepper makes them sneeze.
471. What is a robot’s favorite snack?….Computer chips!
472. What do you call a fish with two knees?….A two nee fish!
473. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?….Because if they flew over the bay, they would be bay gulls (bagels)!
474. Why did the boy stare at the automobile’s radio?….He wanted to watch a car-tune.
475. When is a theater clumsy?….When the curtain falls.
476. Why was the annoying exterminator fired?….Because he bugged his boss.
477. How did the soldier fit his tank in his house?…It was a fish tank!
478. Why was the book in the hospital?…Because it hurt his spine.
479. What did the leaves name their sons?…Russell.
480. Why did the man throw a clock out the window?…He wanted time to fly.
481. What is a rapper’s favorite toy?…a yo – YO!
482. Have you heard of the singing group the three dwarves?…Probably not. They are not that big.
483. What has  wheels and flies?…a garbage truck!
484. Where do cows go on dates?…MOOOOvies
485. Why was the trashcan sad?…He / she was dumped.
486. What do you call a bear with no teeth?…a Gummy bear
487. Why did the cookie cry?…He was feeling crumby.
488. Why did the computer go to the doctors?…It had a virus.
489. Why do birds fly south in the winter?…Because it’s too far to walk!
490. What is a snake’s favorite class?…Hissss-tory!
491. What do you call a cow with no feet?…Ground beef!
492. What kind of pants do ghosts wear?…Boo jeans!
493. What do prisoners use to call each other?…Cell phones.
494. What do you get from a pampered cow?…Spoiled milk.
495. What dog keeps the best time?…A watchdog.
496. What did the dentist give to the marching band?…A TUBA toothpaste
497. What did the bottle of dressing say to the person who opened the refrigerator door?…“SHUT THE DOOR!” I’m dressing!
498. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?…Dam!
499. Why is a traffic light red?…You would be red too if you were changing in front of people all day.
500. What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…RRRRR
501. Why does the pirate wear camouflage underwear?… To hide his booty!
502. Did I tell you the joke about the ceiling?…Oh forget it. It’s over your head.
503. What room is a dead man most afraid of?…The living room!
504. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?…He had NO BODY to go with.
505. What did the ocean say to the other ocean?…Nothing. He waved.
506. Two wrongs don’t make a right. But what do two WRIGHTS make?…A plane (Orville and Wilbur WRIGHT)!
507. Why was the strawberry sad?…His mother got into a JAM!
508. What do you call cheese that is not yours?…NACHO cheese!
509. When is the best time to go to the dentist?…2:30 (Tooth Hurty)!
510. What did one cannibal say to other after eating a clown?…Hey! Does this taste FUNNY to you?
511. What did one lamp say to the other lamp?…Hey! You turn me on!
512. Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?…The wedding ceremony wasn’t too good, but the reception was great!
513. What did the man say when he walked into the bar?…Ouch!
514. Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?… He’s all right now.
515. Why do bagpipers walk when they play?…They’re trying to get away from the noise.
516. What does a skeleton order when he goes to a bar?…A beer and a mop.
517. Where do fish put their money?….. in a river bank!
518. What is the favorite TV show of fish?…Name that TUNA!
519. What did one penny say to the other penny?…Let’s get together and make some (sense) cents!
520. How much did it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears? … a buck an ear (a buccaneer)!
521. Why did the skeleton go to the piano store?…To buy some organs!
522. What section of the paper does a ghost always read?…the HORRORscopes
523. Why did the skeleton hold up the barbecue?…He needed a spare rib.
524. What did one eye say to the other eye?….Something between us smells!
525. What do you call a cow that walks on water?…Holy cow!
526. What is a witch’s favorite class?…Spelling
527. Why did the lettuce beat the carrot in a race?…Because it was a head!
528. What do you call a deer with no eyes?…No-Eye Deer.
529. What do you call a deer with no eyes AND no legs…Still, no eyed deer!
530. What did zero (0) say to eight (8)?…Nice belt
531. Why is six afraid of seven?… Because  7 ATE 9
532. What do you get you drip a piano down a mineshaft?… A flat minor
533. What did one math book say to the other?…You think you’ve got problems.
534. What did one plate say to the other plate?…Lunch (dinner, or breakfast) is on me!
535. Where does Santa keep his money?…In a snow bank!
536. What did one wall say to the other?… Hey, let’s meet in the corner.
537. What is a knight’s favorite fish?… swordfish
538. Why are fish so smart?… They travel in schools!
539. What did the picture say to the wall?… I was framed!
540. Why do fish swim in salt water?… Pepper makes them sneeze.
541. What is a robot’s favorite snack? … Computer chips!
542. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Daisy… Daisy who?… Daisy plays, nights he sleeps!
543. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? … A nervous wreck.
544. Why did the man put his money in the freezer? … He wanted cold hard cash!
545. What is a construction workers favorite bird? … A crane!
546. If two is a pair and three is a crowd, what are four and five? … Nine!
547. Why did the turtle cross the road? … To get to the “Shell” (gas) stations!
548. Why can’t you borrow money from a leprechaun? … Because he’s always a little short.
549. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Irish…Irish who? … Irish you a happy St. Patrick’s Day!
550. When does “B” come after “U”? … When you disturb its hive.
551. What is a frog’s favorite drink? … “croak – a – cola”
552. Have you heard the joke about the baseball? … It’ll leave you in stitches.
553. If April showers bring may flowers, what do mayflowers bring? … Pilgrims
554. What did one candle say to the other candle? … Are you going out tonight?
555. What did the blanket say to the bed? … Don’t worry. I got you covered.
556. Why did Silly Bill tip toe past the medicine cabinet? … He didn’t want to wake the sleeping pills.
557. What is a pokemon’s favorite dance? … The hokey pokemon
558. What bird can write under water? … A ball-point “pen” quin
559. Have you heard the joke about the sidewalk? … It’ll crack you up!
560. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…Dwayne…Dwayne who? … Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!
561. Why did the turkey cross the road? … To prove it wasn’t chicken.
562. Knock, knock…Who’s there?…No body… (Don’t say anything)!
563. What kind of witch likes the beach? …  a SAND witch (sandwich)!
564. What do you get if you say “Tornado” ten times backward and forward? … A real tongue-twister!
565. Did you hear the one about the duck who robbed banks? … He was a safe quacker.
566. What kind of key does not open a lock? … a mon – KEY!
567. Why is your nose in the middle of your face? … Because it is the “scenter.” / Center!
568. How do you make a Venetian blind? … Poke him in the eye.
569. What do you call a bird that is sad? … A Blue Bird!
570. What do you call a fish with no I’s? … A Fssssssh!
571. Why did the baseball player get arrested? … Because he stole second base
572. What was the baby ant so confused? … Because all his uncles were ANTS!
573. Why was the dolphin so sad? … Because he had no PORPOISE in life!
574. What happened when the frog parked illegally? … It was TOAD!!
575. What always falls and never gets hurt?……..rain!
576. I heard they put a new wing on the school….That is true, but it still won’t fly.
577. What do astronauts have for dinner?…Launch meat!
578. What letters are not in the alphabet?…The ones in the mail.
579. Knock Knock!…Who’s there?…Cargo!…Cargo who?…CarGo Beep Beep!
580. What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?… anything you want, it can’t hear you!
581. What is the only bow that you can’t tie?…Rainbow!
582. Knock Knock. Who’s there?…Dishes….Dishes who?…Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!!
583. What is the loudest state?… ILL-I-NOISE
584. Knock knock…who’s there?…little boy…little boy who?…little boy who can’t reach the doorbell!
585. Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?… to see a butterfly!
586. How was that Camping Trip?…Intense (in-tents)!
587. Why are Teddy Bears never hungry?…Because they are always stuffed!
588. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to find the best jokes for the last day of school.

Content Jokes (40 Jokes)

40 Geography Jokes

Special Editions (415 Jokes):

February 14th: 40 Valentine’s Day Jokes of Teachers
February: 13 Presidents Day Jokes
March 14th: 101 Pi Day Jokes
March 17th: 31 St. Patrick’s Day Jokes
April: 70 Easter Jokes
November: 20 Thanksgiving Jokes
December 25th: 140 Christmas Jokes for Teachers
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The following is a list of Christmas trivia questions with the answers. We hope you did well!
Christmas Trivia
1.  In Frosty the Snowman, who brought Frosty back to life?  Santa Claus
2. Who lost $8,000 in It’s a Wonderful Life? Uncle Billy
3.  In How the Grinch Stole Christmas, what biological shortcoming made the Grinch so mean? His heart was two sizes too small
4. Who tells you she’s in town by tap, tap, tappin’ at your windowpane? Suzy Snowflake
5.  What is the biggest selling Christmas single of all time? “White Christmas”
6.  What was Scrooge’s first name? Ebenezer
7.  Where was I when I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus? On the Stairs
8.  What was the name of Rudolph’s dogsled driving friend? Yukon Cornelius
9.  Who said “God Bless Us, Every One!”? Tiny Tim
10. What carol contains the line “O tidings of comfort and joy”? “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”
11. In The Night Before Christmas I sprang from my bed to see what? What was the matter
12. Name the three reindeer whose names begin with a “D”?  Dasher, Donder, Dancer
13. In the song “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” what did Grandma go to get? Her medication
14. What was the first gift my true love sent on the sixth day of Christmas? Six geese a-laying
15. In what city did Miracle on 34th Street take place? New York
16. In It’s a Wonderful Life, how did Clarence cleverly save George’s life? He jumped into the river first
17 .Who kept time with the Little Drummer Boy? The ox and the lamb
18. In The Night Before Christmas, where were the stockings hung? By the chimney
19. What is the name of the little girl in most versions of The Nutcracker? Clara
20. What is the last ghost called in A Christmas Carol? The Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come
21. What color is the Grinch? Green
22. How many pipers piping did my true love give to me? Eleven
23. In the movie The Santa Clause, who starred as the substitute Santa Claus? Tim Allen
24. What was Rudolph’s punishment for his red nose? Could not play in reindeer games
25. In A Charlie Brown Christmas, who plays the dusty innkeeper in the Christmas play? Pigpen
26. What did the traffic cop holler to Frosty? “Stop”
27. What holiday drink contains sugar, milk, and eggs? Eggnog
28. What popular bite-sized chocolate candy comes wrapped in red and green foil at Christmas? Hershey’s Kisses
29. What Saturday Evening Post artist was known for his whimsical pictures of Santa Claus? Norman Rockwell
30. What one reindeer is never mentioned in “The Night Before Christmas”? Rudolph
31. St. Nick’s beard is like what feature of winter? Snow
32. Name the two reindeer whose name begins with a “C”? Comet and Cupid
33. In It’s a Wonderful Life, what did Clarence receive for accomplishing his mission: wings or a halo? His Wings
34. What carol contains the word “Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la”? “Deck the Halls”
35. In the “Nutcracker” section of Fantasia, what fungi dance the Chinese dance? Mushrooms
36. What did the Grinch use as a substitute for reindeer? His dog
37. Who were nestled snug in their beds? The children
38. What 1990 movie told of a boy’s experience when two men break into his house during Christmas? Home Alone
39. What fruit is St. Nick’s nose like? A cherry
40. What glittery bits of metal are hung on a Christmas tree? Tinsel
41. In It’s a Wonderful Life, what kind of spirit is Clarence? An angel
42. What were Frosty’s last words? “I’ll be back again someday”
43. What piece of heavenly apparel does the Littlest Angel not wear correctly? His halo
44. What is Charlie Brown’s complaint about Christmas? It is too commercialized
45. What instrument does Amahl play as he leads the procession in Amahl and the Night Visitors? His reed pipe
46. On what street did a Santa Claus miracle occur? 34th
47. Counting Rudolph, how many reindeer are there? Nine
48. What happened to the drummer boy’s lamb when he played his song for the Baby Jesus? He came back to life
49. What did Rudolph never get to join in? Reindeer games
50. What Emmy Award winning cartoon was based on a newspaper editorial? Yes, Virginia There is a Santa Claus
51. What carol is known as the counting song? “The Twelve Days of Christmas”
52. Where did there arise such a clatter? On the lawn
53. What type of canned pie filling is a big seller at Christmastime? Pumpkin
54. What three characters sing “The Chipmunk Song”? Alvin, Theodore, and Simon
55. What gift did Caspar bring? Myrrh
56. In It’s a Wonderful Life, what part of George’s house is always broken? The bannister
57. Traditionally, does the oldest or youngest family member open the first present? The youngest child
58. What carol demands figgy pudding? “We Wish You a Merry Christmas”
59. What flower does Moore compare St. Nick’s cheeks to? A rose
60. Whose eyes were made of coal? Frosty’s
61. What song was originally titled “One Horse Open Sleigh”? “Jingle Bells”
62. What holiday film annually appears on television more than 300 times? It’s a Wonderful Life
63. In It’s A Wonderful Life, what two friends share their names with two Sesame Street characters? Bert and Ernie
64. What is Frosty’s nose made of? A button
65. How does Scrooge improve Cratchit’s life the day after Christmas? He gives him a raise
66. What country started the tradition of exchanging gifts? Italy (Romans)
67. In A Charlie Brown Christmas, what winter recreation is the cast of characters doing in the opening scene? Ice Skating
68. What are tiny, inexpensive gifts usually called? Stocking Stuffers
69. Name the reindeer whose name begins with a “B”? Blitzen
70. What W.W.II First Lady wrote a Christmas story about a girl named Marta? Elinor Roosevelt
71. What non-smoking association sponsors Christmas seals? American Lung Association
72. Visions of what dance in children’s heads? Sugarplums
73. How many times is the name of Santa Claus used in “The Night Before Christmas”?   None
74. What is the most popular tree topper? Angel
75. What song contains the line “Although, it’s been said, many times, many ways”? “The Christmas Song”
76. What did the Little Drummer Boy give to the Christ Child?  A song on his drum
77. What snack is often left out for Santa? Cookies
78. In It’s a Wonderful Life, who starred as George Bailey? Jimmy Stewart
79. What cola company was known for its ads featuring a big, smiling Santa? Coca-Cola
80. What does Alvin want for Christmas? A hula-hoop
81. Who wrote “The Night Before Christmas? Clement C. Moore
82. What does the nutcracker become after killing the Mouse King? A handsome prince
83. What men’s grooming appliance became a sled for Santa in commercials of the sixties? Norelco Electric Shaver
84. What do most elves wear on the tips of their shoes? Bells
85. After red and green, what are the two most popular Christmas colors? Silver and gold
86. What song contains the line “Somebody waits for you, kiss her once for me”? “A Holly Jolly Christmas”
87. What popular Christmas toy is based on a 1903 political caricature? The Teddy Bear
88. Who first recorded “Here Comes Santa Claus”? Gene Autry
89. What song does a caroler sing outside Scrooge’s office? “God Rest You Merry Gentlemen”
90. What two words are normally pre-printed on gift tags?  To, From
91. Where was Mommy when she was kissing Santa Claus?    Underneath the mistletoe
92. What film told the plight of a poor mountain family during the days of the Depression? The Homecoming
93. On every street corner you hear what song? “Silver Bells”
94. What was Brenda Lee doing around the Christmas Tree? Rockin’
95. In A Charlie Brown Christmas, how many cents does Lucy charge for her psychiatric services? 5 cents
96. Elvis Presley recorded what sad song in the fifties? “Blue Christmas”
97. In “Winter Wonderland” the lovestruck couple pretends a snowman is who? Parson Brown
98. What parade was first held January 1, 1886? Tournament of Roses
99. What song is full of threats and warnings about Santa Claus? “Santa Claus Is Comin’ to Town”
100. Where did Santa land his sleigh in “The Night Before Christmas”? Upon the roof
101. Who yelled “Stop” to Frosty? The traffic cop
102. In It’s A Wonderful Life, what did George dream of becoming?  An engineer/architect
103. What is the name of the first reindeer Santa calls in The Night Before Christmas? Dasher
104.What is the name of the most famous Christmas ballet? Nutcracker
105. What is the theme or essence of “I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day”? Peace on earth, goodwill to men
106. Who wrote A Christmas Carol? Charles Dickens

How the Grinch Stole Christmas: The Movie (10 Multiple Choice Questions)

1. Mike Myers plays the Grinch. True or False?… False
2. Fill in the blank “It’s because I’m ________ isn’t it?” – the Grinch… Green
3. Who directed “How The Grinch Stole Christmas”?… Ron Howard
4. The Grinch wins what award?… The Holiday Cheermeister Award
5. What two people feel bad for the Grinch?… Cindy Lou Who and Martha May Hovier
6. Fill in the blank “It came without packages, boxes, or ______.”… Bags
7. The Grinch goes to Mount Crumpit to dump the presents. True or False… False
8. Who is the narrator in this film?… Anthony Hopkins
9. What is the Grinch’s dog’s name?… Max
10. Who makes everyone realize the true meaning of Christmas?… Lou Lou Who

It’s a Wonderful Life: The Movie (10 Multiple Choice Questions)

1. What was the name of the character played by Jimmy Stewart?… George Bailey
2. What was the name of the girl who had a crush on George and who later married him? … Mary Hatch
3. There was another girl who also had a crush on George. What was her name?… Violet Bick
4. Where did this movie take place?… Bedford Falls
5. When George and Mary welcomed the Martinis to their new home they gave them a box of salt so “their house would always have “                     ” what?… Flavor
6. What did ZuZu catch while walking home from school with her coat unbuttoned?… A cold
7. What happened to George every time he walked up the stairs at their old home?… The wooden ball from the bannister came off.
8. How did Clarence save George from committing suicide?… He jumped in the river.
9. What did George have in his hand when he left Martini’s bar?… His insurance policy.
10. When Harry Bailey asked his mother to use some dishes for his graduation party, she said “Not my                      “ what? … Haviland (a type of China)

A Christmas Story: the Movie (10 Multiple Choice Questions)

1. What did Ralphie want for Christmas?… Red Rider BB Gun
2. What was the standard reply whenever Ralphie said what he wanted for Christmas?… You’ll shoot your eye out kid!
3. What did Ralphie’s father win, and Ralphie’s mother broke?… A Leg Lamp
4. What was the name of the boy who stuck his tongue to the flag pole?… Flick
5. What did Ralphie give his teacher for Christmas?… Fruit Basket
6. What is the name of Ralphie’s brother?… Randy
7. What famous movie were the characters from that were seen at the parade, and later at the department store?… The Wizard of Oz
8. What did Ralphie’s Little Orphan Annie decoder ring tell him to drink?… Ovaltine
9. Why did Ralphie’s family eat Christmas dinner at a Chinese restaurant?… The neighbor’s dogs ate the turkey.
10. What did Ralphie tell his mom when he broke his glasses and cut his cheek on Christmas Morning?… An icicle fell on him.

Elf: The Movie (15 Multiple Choice Questions)

1. Who portrays the character Buddy the Elf?… Will Ferrell
2. What was Santa Claus doing while baby Buddy was crawling into his toy sack at the orphanage?… Eating a cookie
3. Who raised Buddy?… Papa Elf
4. “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is ______ loud for all to hear.”… Singing
5. What toy was Buddy making where he failed to make his daily quota?… Etch-a-Sketch
6. When Buddy leaves the North Pole, he floats away on a patch of ice. Which Christmas Classic is this scene taking from?… Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
7. What department store does Buddy visit after he is thrown out of his father’s office building and the Empire State Building?… Gimbel’s
8. Buddy tells the department store Santa that he smells like what?… beef and cheese
9. Jon Favreau, the director of “Elf” makes a cameo appearance in what role?… Doctor
10. According to Buddy, which of the following is NOT one of the four food groups used by eleves?… gun drops
11. What does Buddy craft from the wooden furniture in his bedroom?… A rocking horse
12. Where does Jovie take Buddy to see a big beautiful Christmas tree?… Rockefeller Center
13. In Buddy’s farewell note to Walter, Emily and Michael, what does he apologize for cramming into the VCR?… Cookies
14. What does Buddy’s brother Michael want for Christmas?… A Skateboard
15. What Christmas song does Jovie start singing to try to help spread Christmas cheer?… Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

1. What was the name of the talking Snowman who narrated the Story?… Sam
2. How did Donner, Rudolph’s father try to hide his nose?… He covered it with black mud.
3. What was Hermey’s that caused him to stand out from the other elves?… He didn’t like to make toys.
4. What was the name of the doe who befriended Rudolph?… Clarice
5. Who were Rudolph and Hermey hiding from and almost got frostbitten?…
   Yukon Cornelius
6. According to Yukon Cornelius what was the Abominable Snowman’s biggest weakness?… Water
7. What was wrong with the doll on the island of Misfit Toys?… It was never explained.
8. What job was given to the newly reformed Abominable Snowman?… He put the star on the Christmas tree.
9. Why did Santa almost cancel Christmas?… The Storm was too heavy.
10. When Rudolph led Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve, the first place they stopped was the Island of Misfit Toys (true or false)?… true

A Year Without A Santa Claus (15 Multiple Choice Questions)

1. Who did the voice of Santa Claus?… Mickey Rooney
2. Why did Santa want to cancel Christmas?… He was sick and he felt there wasn’t any more Christmas spirit.
3. Who did the voice of Mrs. Claus?… Shirley Booth
4. What was the name of the town (among others) that decided to cancel Christmas?… Southtown, USA
5. What were the names of the two elves that Mrs. Claus sent to the above mentioned town?… Jingle and Jangle
6. What was the name of the reindeer that the two elves rode?… Vixen
7. The two elves tried to pretend that the reindeer was something else so they wouldn’t look suspicious. What was it?… a dog
8. Mrs. Claus had a reindeer pull the sleigh so she could visit Mother Nature. What was that reindeer’s name?… Blitzen
9. Mother Nature had two feuding sons. What were their names?… Snow Miser and Heat Miser
10. Santa rode a reindeer to the town the elves were in to help them. What was its name?… Dasher
11. While Santa was in town he befriended a young boy. What was his name?… Ignatius Thistlewhite
12. Before Santa left for the town he received a letter from a sad little girl. What song did she sing?… Blue Christmas
13. While visiting this town the elves find out from the mayor what he would love for Christmas. What is it?… Snow
14. How did Mrs. Claus get the hot and cold brothers to agree?… She told their mother.
15. What year was this movie made?… 1974

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

1. Where did the Grinch live?… Just North of Who-Ville
2. What was the most likely reason that the Grinch hated Christmas?… His Heart was two sizes too small
3. Although the Grinch disliked many things about Christmas, what was the one the one thing he liked least of all?… Every Who down in Who-ville would start singing
4. “If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!” What was the Grinch’s dog’s name?… Max
5. As the Grinch ransacked Who-ville, what was “the first thing to go!”… These stockings!
6. The Grinch cleaned out the icebox. He even took the last can of what?… Who-hash!
7. While stealing a Christmas tree, the Grinch was caught in the act by a small Who (not more than two!)…what was her name?… Cindy-Lou Who
8. After being caught in the act of stealing a Christmas tree, the Grinch offered up a lie about what he was doing. Why did he say he was taking the Christmas tree?… “Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied, “There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side. “So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear. “I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
9. Only leaving bare wall with nothing but hooks and some wire, what was the last thing the Grinch took from the house?… The log for their fire
10. How did the Grinch know that he hadn’t stopped Christmas?… The Who’s were singing. Without presents at all!
11. How much did the Grinch’s heart grow that day?… 3 sizes!

Christmas Movies and TV Specials

1. To Rudolph, what was Baby New Year’s name?… Happy
2. What embarrassment does Charlie Brown suffer in A Charlie Brown Christmas? … Charlie Brown
3. In Santa Claus is Coming to Town, what serious town is the first to receive toys?… Sombertown
4. What Disney character portrayed Bob Cratchit in Mickey’s Christmas Carol?… Mickey Mouse
5. What did the Grinch use as a substitute for reindeer?… his dog
6. In Frosty the Snowman, who provided the voice of the magician?… Billy DeWolfe
7. In Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, what was the name of the narrator / snowman?… Sam
8. Jack Backus, Morey Amsterdam, and Jack Cassidy provided the voices to what animated version of a Dickens classic?… Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol
9. Who was Rudolph’s father in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Donner or Blitzen?… Donner
10. In A Charlie Brown Christmas, what song do the characters end the show singing? … “Hark the Herald Angels Sing”
    
11. Name one of the three songs Burl Ives sang in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?… “Holly Jolly Christmas,” “Silver and Gold,” or “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”
12. What does Herbie want to be in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?… A dentist
13. What color was young Scrooge’s hair in Mr. Magoo’s Christmas Carol?… Red
14. In Frosty the Snowman, what happened to Frosty in the greenhouse?… He melted
15. In How the Grinch Stole Christmas, who was the littlest Who?… Cindy Lou
    
16. In A Charlie Brown Christmas, does Charlie Brown or Snoopy direct the play? … Charlie Brown
17. In Frosty the Snowman, who provided the voice of Frosty?… Jackie Vernon

Classic Christmas Movie Trivia

1. What happened on 34th Street?… a miracle
2. In Holiday Inn, what color did Bing Crosby paint Marjorie Reynold’s face: red or black?… Black
3. What was the name of the parish in Going My Way?… St. Dominic’s
4. What Wizard of Oz star portrayed the villain in the 1961 version of Babes in Toyland?… Ray Bolger
5. In what two movies did Bing Crosby sine “White Christmas?”… Holiday Inn and White Christmas
   
6. What was the first holiday the inn was open in Holiday Inn?… New Year’s Eve
7. Name one of the two actors who turned down the role Danny Kaye had in White Christmas?… Donald O’Connor and Fred Astaire
8. Who portrayed the angel in It’s a Wonderful Life?… Henry Travers
9. In Miracle on 34th Street, what amazing advice did Kris Kringle give to customers?… He sent them to other stores to buy gifts.
10. What legendary figure on a horse did Rosemary Clooney give to Bing Crosby in White Christmas?… A knight on a horse
11. In Holiday, on what holiday did Cary Grant and his fiance announce their engagement?… New Year’s Eve
12. In what state does most of White Christmas take place: Vermont or New York?…Vermont
13. How many Academy Awards did White Christmas win: zero or two?… zero
14. Whom did Gene Lockhart portray in the 1938 version of A Christmas Carol?… Bob Cratchit
15. Who portrayed the spinster writer in Christmas in Connecticut? Barbara Stanwyck
16. What did George Bailey call “our song” in It’s a Wonderful Life?… “Buffalo Gals”
17. What permanent injury did George Bailey suffer as a boy?… a deaf ear.
18. In Holiday Inn, what was the name of the Turkey: Mr. Jones or Tom?… Mr. Jones
19. What was the main character’s name in Home Alone?… Kevin
20. What was Mary’s Last name in Babes in Toyland?… Contrary
21. What Christmas bribe does Ralph give his teacher in The Christmas Story? A fruit basket
22. In It’s a Wonderful Life, who starred as George Bailey?… Jimmy Stewart
23. In Miracle on 34th Street, what toy did Santa Claus promise to the son of a bewildered mom: a doll or firetruck?… Firetruck
24. Who directed White Christmas?… Michael Curtiz
25. In It’s a Wonderful Life, what would have the town been called if George wa never born?… Potterville

International Christmas Trivia

1. Is chicken or pork served as the main course for a Colombian Christmas?… Pig (Pork Roast)
2. In what clothing article do Sicilian children expect to find their presents: knit cap or their stocking?… In their stockings
3. What kind of tree do Yugoslavians burn as their yule log: oak or maple?… the oak
4. Do Brazilian children expect to find their shoes or stockings filled with presents?… Their Shoes
5. What European country popularized ‘Carol of the Birds?”… Spain
6. In what communist country is St. Barbara’s Day used as a barometer of Christmas weather?… Poland
7. What Iberian nation’s favorite sweet Christmas nougat is turron?… Spain
8. What plant enables you to kiss people at Christmas time?… mistletoe
9. In Ireland, what must your name be to snuff out the Church Christmas candles?… Mary
10. In England, does finding a coin in the the plum pudding mean wealth or pregnancy to the finder?… wealth
11. In what country does reveillon occur after midnight Mass: Austria or France?… France
12. What European country features the “smoke blessing?”… Austria
13. What Iberian country performs the Seasonal dance of Six?… Spain
14. Who leaps out on New Year’s Eve, vigorously kisses Austrian women, and shares a name with Stallone?… Sylvester
15. Paintings of whom do the Chinese hang on their wall on New Year’s Eve: samurai or ancestors?… Ancestors
16. In Pakistan, what holiday is Bara Din?… Christmas (Big Day)
17. In Bulgaria, what is Nova Godina?… New Year’s Day
18. What door-to-door singers do the English call waits?… Carolers
19. What sport do English indulge in on Boxer’s Day: parlor games or fox hunting?… Fox Hunting
20. Because of the German population in Guatemala, what tradition has become quite popular?… The Christmas Tree
21. What time does mass begin in Greece for the Christmas celebration?… 4 a.m. Christmas Day
22. In Spain, what midnight event is called Misa del Galla?… Midnight Mass
23. What trio are the gift bearers in Spain?… The Wise Men
24. Admired by the Swedes, what nationality was St. Lucia?… Italian (Sicilian)
25. What neutral nation’s traditions are influenced by no less than four other nations? … Switzerland
26. In Iraq, what rank of clergymen ends the Christmas Service: Priest of Bishop?… Bishop
27. Traditionally, does the oldest or youngest family member open the 1st present?… The youngest child
28. Walrus tusks or sealskin mitts are typical gifts on what cold Danish Island?… Greenland
29. According to Welch tradition, Mari Lwyd was turned out of the stable of whom?… Baby Jesus
30. What continent country started “Carols by Candlelight?”… Australia
31. What day is Noche-beuna in Spain?… Christmas Eve
32. During church service in Germany, what stands on each side of the alter?… Christmas Trees
33. In what country does the Mayor of Helsinki announce at the start of Christmas?… Finland
34. In Austria, is the evil spirit Klaubauf a demon or troll?… A demon
35. Through what opening in a house does Old Man Christmas enter a home in Chile, chimney or window?… Window
36. Is the church of the Nativity located in Nazareth or Bethlehem?… Bethlehem
37. What is the last Sunday before Christmas called in Norway: Dirty Sunday or Holy Sunday?… Dirty Sunday
38. What takes the place of the Christmas Tree in Italy?… A Yule Log
39. What does Jelesvann bring in Norway: good luck or gifts?… Gifts
40. Who is Austria’s gift bringer?… St. Nicholis or Christ Kind
41. The Grotto of the Nativity is considered the location of what event?… The Birthplace of Jesus Christ
42. In what boot-like country is the manger scene called pesepio?… Italy
43. What does Meri Kurisumasu mean in Japan?… Merry Christmas
44. What country at one time banned Christmas?… France, England, or Italy
45. What nut do Danish children look for in the rice pudding, walnut or almond?… an almond
46. What South Pacific country features the Christmas bell and Christmas bush?… Australia
47. What tundra dwellers enjoy Kiviak, decomposed auks, as Christmas treat?… Eskimos
48. On what Mid-December date does the Christmas celebration in the Philippines begin?… December 16
49. What number is considered lucky in Armenia on New Year’s Day?… Seven
50. What Canadian island celebrates “Fish for the Church” during Christmas?… Newfoundland

Bruce Springsteen: Santa Clause is Coming to Town, Bruce Springsteen Santa Clause is Coming to Town, Christmas Songs, BandAid: Do They Know It’s Christmas?,
BandAid, Do They Know It’s Christmas?,
U2: It’s Christmas, Top 3 Rocking Christmas Songs

Great Classic Christmas Songs: Bruce Springsteen Santa Clause is Coming to Town. BandAid: Do They Know It’s Christmas?
It is the Christmas time and we wanted to share some of our Favorite Rocking Christmas Songs! Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!
Bruce Springsteen: Santa Clause is Coming to Town

 
BandAid: Do They Know It’s Christmas?

U2: It’s Christmas
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL0jb-OqXiA
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