101 Monday Jokes

by | Nov 28, 2025 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

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  1. November Knock Knock Jokes: Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Cyber Monday jokes.
  2. Just a reminder for your weekend… Monday will be happening an hour earlier.  
  3. Why was the acid so rude on Monday?… He was a-mean-o-acid
  4. Why does Sunday always beat Monday in arm wrestling?… Because Monday is a weakday.
  5. Why does Saturday always beat Monday in arm wrestling?… Because Monday is a weakday.
  6. What’s the most depressing sound on Monday?… Alarm clocks.
  7. How do cheeses greet each other on Monday mornings? Have a Gouda week.
  8. Why did the skeleton do such a poor job in school on Mondays? His heart wasn’t in it.
  9. Why did the magicians in class get the best mark on their test on Monday? They got all of the trick questions right.
  10. How do hens feel on Mondays? Eggshausted.
  11. Why does Santa hand out candy canes on Mondays? For encourage-mint.
  12. What did the teacher say to her aardvark student when he walked into class on Monday morning? Why the long face?
  13. Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison? Monday laundering.
  14. Why did the robot have some trouble focusing at school on Monday? He was a little rusty.
  15. What is the best way to describe Monday? Monday-ne.
  16. What happened to the witches who broke the school rules on Monday? They got ex-spelled.
  17. What did the cashew say on Monday? Mondays drive me nuts.
  18. How do you make time go fast on Monday? Throw a clock.
  19. Why did the cat stay home from school on Monday? He wasn’t feline well.
  20. Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday? He wanted to be a Smartie.
  21. Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday? He had arrrrt class.
  22. Why was the broom late for school on Monday? He over-swept.
  23. Why did the zombie have to stay at home from school on Monday? He was feeling rotten.
  24. What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mourning
  25. Why couldn’t the ghost leave school on Monday? He was the school spirit.
  26. What is large on Sunday and Saturday, small on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, and disappears on Monday? The letter S.
  27. Why was the root vegetable in a good mood on Monday? It was an up-beet.
  28. What do you call Mondays without any Zoom meetings? Meetless Mondays.
  29. What does Sonic need a lot of on Mondays? Hedge-hugs.
  30. When does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary.
  31. What do kids do on Mondays during vacation? The same thing they do every other day
  32. What’s the best advice for getting through the start of the work week? Just take it Mon-day at a time.
  33. What did the Cyclops say every Monday morning? Eye don’t want to get up.
  34. What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday? Hiss-tory.
  35. What’s the best time to get a discount on robotic parts? Cyborg Monday.
  36. If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday? The horse’s name was Monday.
  37. On what day do ghosts do their howling? Moan-day.
  38. Which day of the week are demons most tired? De-Monday.
  39. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Monday. Go Away!
  40. Knock Knock Who’s there? Toothy. Toothy who? Toothy the day after Monday.
  41. Knock Knock Who’s there? Heymon. Heymon who? Heymonday is here already!
  42. I love Tuesdays because it is the farthest I can get from Mondays
  43. A man asks his wife on a Friday evening… Husband: Shall we have a nice weekend? Wife: Sure, why not? Husband: Ok then, see you on Monday!
  44. I know a lot of you are sad because it’s a Monday…But don’t forget, only 48 hours ago, it was a sadder day.
  45. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
  46. Somebody walks into an ice cream parlour and asks “what flavours do you have?” The store assistant says “over there on the signs on the wall, you’ll see them all” The client goes “Um, well I’ll have a cone with two scoops of Mondays Closed.
  47. If every day is a gift, I want to know where I can return Mondays.
  48. On a Monday morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. “Wake up son. It’s time to get to school!” “But mom, I don’t want to go.” “Give me two reasons why.” “Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers hate me too!” “That’s no reason. Come now get ready.” “Give me two reasons why I should go?” “Well for one you are 40 years old. And for another, you’re the teacher!”.
  49. Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds I have my first shift on Monday.
  50. Look on the bright side, at least Mondays only happen once a week.
  51. The only thing worse than Friday the 13th is Monday the 13th. It’s a much spookier day.
  52. Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring. No one would ever want to watch it.
  53. My family found out that my brother and I stopped fighting ever since we started going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week. My brother goes out Mondays and I go out on Fridays.
  54. What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
  55. What is the shortest horror story you can tell? Monday.
  56. Why were Saturday and Sunday wary of Monday? Because Monday was the week link.
  57. What do you call a Monday without any Zoom calls? Meetless Mondays.
  58. What does the executioner say on Monday mornings? It is time to beheaded to work.
  59. Why was the root vegetable so happy on Monday? Because he was feeling up-beet!
  60. What do you called a person who says “I love Mondays”? Retired.
  61. What do you called a person who says “I love Mondays”? On vacation.
  62. What do you called a person who says “I love Mondays”? Crazy.
  63. What is the best part about Mondays? The end.
  64. What do you call a Monday that actually goes smoothly? Suspicious.
  65. What’s the most depressing sound on Monday? An alarm clock.
  66. What’s the difference between Monday and a vampire? At least vampires wait until dark to suck the life out of you.
  67. Why did the skeleton do so badly in school on Mondays? His heart wasn’t in it.
  68. Why didn’t the skeleton show up to work on Monday? He didn’t have the guts.
  69. Why did the woman go to sleep in her herb garden on Sunday night? So she would wake up on thyme.
  70. What can you eat to make the first day of the workweek better? An ice cream mundae.
  71. Why does Monday suck so hard? If it didn’t, it would be called Friday!
  72. What’s the difference between disco and Mondays? Mondays are unfortunately here to stay.
  73. Why was the broom late for school on Monday? He over-swept.
  74. When do robots shop for the best deals? Cyborg Monday.
  75. What’s Pikachu’s favorite day of the week? Poké-Monday.
  76. Why did Monday break up with Sunday? Because Sunday kept saying “See you tomorrow” in that really ominous tone.
  77. What’s the saddest part of the week? Monday mourning.
  78. How are Mondays like math class? They have a lot of problems.
  79. What’s Monday’s favorite genre of music? The blues.
  80. What’s worse than a Thanksgiving where the turkey burns to a crisp and the pie is eaten by the dog? Monday.
  81. Why do they call it Monday? Because Worstday made people think it was a day for sausages.
  82. Why don’t coffee beans ever get tired, even on Monday? They have a latte energy.
  83. What’s a barista’s favorite Monday-morning mantra? Rise and grind!
  84. Why did the woman sit on her watch on Monday morning? Because she wanted to be on time for work.
  85. When does Monday always come before Sunday? In the dictionary.
  86. Why did the calendar maker go to prison? Monday laundering.
  87. Why doesn’t Monday ever get speeding tickets? It always goes by so slowly.
  88. What did the tortilla chips say when they got back to the office after the weekend? “I got a queso the Mondays.”
  89. How do coffee beans greet each other on Monday mornings? “Have a brew-tiful week!”
  90. What did the banana say on Monday? “This day isn’t a-peel-ing.”
  91. What do you call Mondays without any appointments? Meetless Mondays.
  92. What does an astronaut call the start of a week? Moon-day.
  93. What’s a cow’s favorite day of the week? Moo-nday.
  94. What’s a fish’s favorite day of the week? Salmon-day.
  95. What’s fruit’s favorite day of the week? Lemon-day.
  96. Why did the comedian bomb on Monday? Because it wasn’t pun-day!
  97. What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays? Unemployed.
  98. Why couldn’t Monday do pull-ups? Because Monday is a weak day.
  99. Mo’ Mondays, mo’ problems.
  100. Until I have my coffee on Mondays, I have a latte on my mind.
  101. I drink so much coffee on Mondays that I consider it part of my daily grind.
  102. Words cannot espresso how much coffee means to me on a Monday morning.
  103. Another moan-day morning! I’m done-day before Monday even starts.
  104. Monday isn’t won-day—it’s the day that beats you.
  105. Mondays are my week-ness.
  106. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you feel if you had to work today?
  107. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Donut. Donut who? Donut you dare hit the snooze button again.
  108. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? Bean awake for five minutes and I already need coffee.
  109. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey really have to go to work today?
  110. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Muffin. Muffin who? Muffin prepared me to face Monday.
  111. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Needle. Needle who? Needle little help to get through Monday.
  112. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter get out of bed.
  113. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for work if you hurry!
  114. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita big cup of coffee right now.
  115. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Watt. Watt who? Watt do you mean it’s Monday?!
  116. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snow. Snow who? Snow use—you have to go to work today.
  117. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Terry. Terry who? Terryfied of my inbox right now.
  118. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Weekend. Weekend who? Weekend believe it’s Monday either.
  119. Monday one-liners I couldn’t decide if I should get out of bed Monday morning, so I decided to sleep on it. I made a huge to-do list for this Monday—now I just need to find someone to do it.
  120. I can’t make it to work on Monday because I have a vision problem—I can’t see myself coming in.
  121. Coffee isn’t safe in my house—every Monday morning, it gets mugged.
  122. A case of the Mondays? I don’t even want a bottle of the Mondays!
  123. It’s Monday—send snacks and prayers.
  124. Monday is the only day of the week that comes with its own theme song: the sound of your alarm clock mixed with your soul leaving your body.
  125. May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
  126. They say Monday is a fresh start, which is technically true—it’s a fresh start to counting down until Friday.
  127. Monday-morning coffee isn’t a beverage—it’s a life-support system with cream and sugar.
  128. \I’m so good at sleeping through my alarm, I can do it with my eyes closed.