National Pet Day Jokes

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Dog Jokes for Kids

When I meet new people, I always talk about my pet penguin… It’s a good icebreaker.
A good pet should be able to set the Daylight Saving Time for you… that’s why I’m looking for a watch dog. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
Hole #2 What do you get if you combine a fashion designer, dog lover, and lumberjack?… Pink Dogwood.
(Masters Golf Jokes & Tree Jokes)
Which dog breed should you invite to your St. Patrick’s Day party?… An Irish Setter.
What kind of farm dog strips corn’s ears?… A husky! (Corn Jokes)
What animal keeps the best time?… A watch dog!
What do you call a litter of young dogs who have come in from a blizzard?… Slush puppies! (Blizzard Jokes)
The baby corn wanted a pet, so his mama decided to buy the baby a corn dog. (Baby Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and maize?… A corn dog. (Corn Jokes)
Why is Abraham Lincoln like a bloodhound tracking someone?…They’re both on the (s)cent!
What’s the difference between a dog and a basketball player?… One drools, the other dribbles. (March Madness Jokes)
What do you call a wild dog that you can’t find?… A WHEREwolf! (Halloween Jokes / Werewolf Jokes / Dog Jokes)
What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?… A Melon Collie. (Watermelon Jokes)
If you crossed a Patriot with a curly-haired dog, what would you get?… Yankee Poodle. (Dog Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?… It was just puppy love. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What did the Cat in the Hat say when the dog ate its food?… You gotta be kitten me.
Why did the dog bury himself in the backyard on Earth Day?… Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark. (Earth Day Jokes)
Why did Frosty the Snowman turn yellow?… Ask the dog. (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
What’s more amazing than a talking dog?… A Spelling Bee. (Bee Jokes & 26 Kindergarten Lessons ABC)
How do dog catchers get paid?… By the pound! (Labor Day Jokes)
If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa. (Music Jokes / Movie Jokes / Rain Jokes / World Geography Jokes / Dog Jokes)
What happened when Snoopy went to the flea circus?… He stole the show. (Charlie Brown Jokes)
How can you identify a Christmas tree?… By its bark – woof! (Christmas Tree Jokes)
Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?… They have a great bark, but wooden bite. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
A policeman just knocked on my door and said my dogs were chasing people on bikes… My dogs don’t even own bikes. (Police Jokes & Bike Jokes)
The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog…He’s the only one who feeds the hand that bites him. (Hot Dog Jokes)
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua?… A hot, diggety dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child. “No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.” (Grandparent Jokes)
What is the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. (Whale Jokes for Kids)
First dog: Where do fleas go for summer vacation? Second dog: Search me! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
Why wouldn’t the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?… There were too many vets. (Veterans Day Jokes)
What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones?… They barium! (Chemistry Jokes)
Why did the German soldier help the wounded puppy?… Because he was a veteran Aryan! (Veterans Day Jokes)
What do you call a frozen dog?… A pupsicle! (Summer Jokes & Popsicle Jokes)
Which breed of dog is the quietest?… A hush puppy!
Why did the dog stay in the shade at summer camp?… It did not want to be a hot dog. (Summer Camp Jokes & Hot Dog Jokes)
What’s Santa’s dog’s name?… Santa Paws! (Christmas Jokes)
What kind of dog does a vampire have?…A bloodhound. (Halloween Jokes & Vampire Jokes)
What happened when the puppy went to the flea circus?… He stole the show! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you. Jay Leno (Psychology Jokes)
What do you call a cold dog?… A Chili Dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
What do you call a dog with a fever?… A hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?… A flea market!
If you’re in the woods, how can you tell if a tree is a dogwood?… By its bark. (Tree Jokes for Kids)
Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.”
What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Dog get 1 Flea!
What do you get when you cross a dog and an egg?… A pooched egg. (Egg Jokes)
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?… His bark was much worse than it’s bite! (Farming Jokes)
What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1772?… The Boston Flea Party. (Massachusetts Jokes & American Revolution Jokes)
How do fleas travel from place to place?… By itch-hiking! (Hiking Jokes)
Why do dogs like conjunctions?… They just love buts. (Grammar Jokes)
I dressed my dog up as a cat for Halloween. Now he won’t come when I call him. (Halloween Jokes)
Why was the tree drooling?… It was a dogwood. (Arbor Day Jokes)
What is a fighter’s favorite dog?… A boxer. (Boxing Jokes for Kids)
Why did the puppy cross the road?… To get to the “barking” lot! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
What is the puppy’s favorite city?… New Yorkie! (Top 50 State Jokes & New York Jokes)
I’m a dog trainer. Before I met with a new client, I had her fill out a questionnaire. One question asked, “Why did you choose this breed?” My client responded, “I often ask myself this very same question.”
Have you read the book Raising Dogs?… You should it’s a pup-up book. (Puppy Jokes for Kids & Book Jokes)
Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse?… It was a dog and pony show. (Horse Jokes)
Why are dogs like phones?… Because they have collar IDs.
Why did the poor puppy chase his own tail?… He was trying to make both ends meet! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to been careful not to step in a poodle. (Rain Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What do you call a dog with a surround sound system?… a Sub-woofer. (Music Jokes)
What is a dog’s favorite pizza?… PUParonni! (Pizza Jokes for Kids)
What do you call a dog standing on a Mars bar?… Rover! (Astronomy Jokes & Mars Jokes)
What do you call a dog with a Rolex?… A watch dog. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary?… Take the words right out of his mouth! (Grammar Jokes)
What did the dog say when it saw the firework go off?… Nothing, dogs can’t talk! (Fireworks Jokes)
What do puppies and story tellers have in common?… They both have tails! (Puppy Jokes for Kids & Book Jokes)
Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor?… He kept seeing spots! (Doctor Jokes)
What did the dog say to the tree?… Bark. (Tree Jokes)
What kind of dog chases anything red?… A Bulldog.
Why aren’t dogs good dancers?… Because they have two left feet. (Music Jokes)
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?… Yankee Poodle. (American Revolutionary War Jokes & Bird Jokes)
What is the only kind of dog you can eat?… A hot dog! (Hot Dog Jokes)
I hide photos on my computer of me petting animals at the zoo in a file named Fireworks and vacuums so my dog won’t find them. (Fireworks Jokes & Computer Jokes)
What do you get when your dog jumps into the fire pit?… A hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
What did the patriotic dog do on Flag Day?… He flagged his tail! (Flag Day Jokes for Kids)
What do you call a great dog detective?… Sherlock Bones! (Police Jokes)
A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says, ‘I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.’ (Father’s Day Jokes & Beer Jokes)
Why do you need a license for a dog and not for a cat?… Cats can’t drive!
How did the little Scottish dog react when he met the Loch Ness Monster?…: He was Terrier-fied!
A dog walks into a job center. ‘Wow, a talking dog,’ says the clerk. ‘With your talent I’m sure we can find you a gig in the circus.’ ‘The circus?’ says the dog. ‘What does a circus want with a plumber?’
Why was the dog stealing shingles?…He wanted to become a woofer!
What do you call a dog with no legs?…It doesn’t matter, he still won’t come when you call.
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of the dog, it’s too dark to read. (Book Jokes)
What’s the difference between a businessman and a hot dog?… The businessman wears a suit but the hot dog just pants. (Hot Dog Jokes)
Two men are talking about animals. One says to the other, ‘I know of a dog worth $10,000.’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Who would have thought a dog could save so much.’
What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion?… Well you won’t be getting any mail, that’s for sure. (Lion Jokes & Mailman Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a Rottweiler and a hyena?… I don’t know but I recommend you join in if it laughs!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a dog?… Frostbite. (Snowman Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?… Cockerpoodledoo!
What happened when the groundhog met the dogcatcher?… He became a pound hog. (Groundhog Day Jokes)
What do you call a frozen frankfurter?… A Chili dog.
A Dachshund walks into a telegraph office, picks up a blank form, and writes: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.” The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog, “You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another ‘Woof’ for the same price.” The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. “But that would make no sense at all.”
Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Tree Jokes)
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Cat Jokes)
What happens when a mole bites a dog?… He becomes Moleicious! (Mole Day Jokes)
How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Grinch Jokes)
What do you call a dog on the beach in the Summer?… A hot dog! (Summer Jokes for Kids)
What did the skeleton say to the puppy?… bonappetite. (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal?… That hit the spots!
What do Alaskans sing when they get excited?… Who let the sled dogs out! (Alaska Jokes & Music Jokes)
What do you call a large dog that meditates?… Aware wolf. (Top Psychology Jokes)
What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee?… A greyhound buzz! (Bee Jokes)
What do you call a canine born on Cinco De Mayo?… Felix Naughty Dog. (Dog Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?… A collie-flower! (Flower Jokes)
Who is the puppy’s favorite comedian?… Growlcho Marx (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?… It barked with de-light!
What did the cowboy say when the bear ate Lassie?… “Well, doggone!” (Bear Jokes)
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Top Cat Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog?… Dingo Starr!
What do you call a dog magician?… A labracadabrador.
What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?… A friend you can count on. (101 Pi Day Jokes)
What is a dogs favorite instrument?… A trombone. (Music Jokes)
What’s a dog’s ideal job?… Barkeology. (Top Archeology Jokes)
What kind of dog likes taking a bath?…a shampoodle! (Barber jokes)
What happens when a dog chases a cat into a geysur?…It starts raining cats and dogs. (Rain Jokes)
What did the cat say to the dog?…Check meow-t! (Cat Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a dog and a cheetah?… A dog that chases cars – and catches them! (Car Racing Jokes)
What do you call a dog that licks an electrical socket?… Sparky.
Where did the dog fall asleep?… In the barking lot.
Why did the snowman name his dog “Frost”?… Because “Frost” bites! (Snowman Jokes)
What time is it when ten dogs chase a cat?… Ten After One. (Daylight Savings Jokes)
What sort of clothes does a pet dog wear?… A petticoat!
Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote?… Because they always it the Paws button! (Movie Jokes)
What did the dog say to the sandpaper?… Ruff.
What is a dogs favorite flower?… Anything in your garden! (Flower Jokes)
What’s a dog favorite hobby?… Collecting fleas!
What is the fastest dog in the world?… A Labraghini.
Where do you put barking dogs?… In a barking lot.
Where do dogs go after their tails fall off?… The re-tail store. (Black Friday Jokes)
What did the dog say to the flea?… Stop bugging me!
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?… a chili dog on a bun! (Hot Dog Jokes)
Why did the dog stay in the shade?… Because he did not want to turn into a hot dog. (Hot Dog Jokes)
Why did the dog bury himself in the back yard?… Cause you can’t grow a tree without bark.
What do you do when your dog goes missing in the forest?… Put your ear to a tree and listen for the bark. (Tree Jokes)
Why did the dog cross the road twice?… He was trying to fetch a boomerang!
What do you call a sheepdog’s tail that can tell tall stories?… A shaggy dogs tale!
I asked my dog what’s that thing on top of the house?.. And the he said “Roof Roof”.
What did the tree say to the dog? Tree: Do you like bark? Dog: What do you think? I bark every day of my life. (Tree Jokes)
Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city?… A New Yorkie!
What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog?… A croaker spaniel! (Frog Jokes)
What did one flea say to the other?…Should we walk or take a dog?
What’s a dog’s favorite dessert?… Pupcakes! (Cupcake Jokes)
What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?… That’s ruffffffff!!
Dalmatian say after his meal?… “That hit the spots!”
Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes?… A Chi-ha-ha!
What do you call a wild dog that you can’t find?… A WHEREwolf! (Halloween Jokes)
Why did you eat your homework?… Because I don’t have a dog. (180 School Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a gold puppy with a telephone?… A golden receiver!
What do you call a black Eskimo dog?… A dusky husky!
Why didn’t the puppy speak to his foot?… Because it’s not polite to talk back to your paw! (Top Father’s Day Jokes & Top Father’s Day Quotes)
Why do puppies wag their tails?… “Because no one else will do it for them!” (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
What’s red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?… A revolutionary warthog! (American Revolution Jokes)
Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart?… He was CON-fused!
Why do puppies bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees! (Puppy Jokes for Kids)
What did the angry man sing when he found his slippers chewed up by the new puppy?… “I must throw that doggie out the window!”(Puppy Jokes for Kids)
Why wasn’t the dog a smooth talker?… Because all he ever said was “Rough, Rough”
What kind of dog does Dracula have?… A bloodhound! (Top Halloween Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?… The collie wobbles!
When does a dog go “moo”?… When it is learning a new language!
How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?… One wags a tail and the other tags a whale. (World Ocean Day Jokes)
What does my puppy and my phone have in common?… They both have collar I.D.
How did American colonists’ dogs protest against England?… The Boston Flea Party. (4th of July Jokes)
What do you call a cold dog?… Chilli Dog.
A sign said, “Do not allow your dog to chase, injure, or worry wildlife.” How is a dog going to “worry” wildlife? Run up to a bird: “Hey, I think you’ve got something on your beak. It could be a tumor.”
A woman called our airline customer-service desk asking if she could take her dog on board. “Sure,” I said, “as long as you provide your own kennel.” I further explained that the kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over. The customer was flummoxed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It’s hardly ever for them. Harry Hill
My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum. Elayne Boosle
Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.
What is a dog’s favorite food?… Anything that is on your plate!
What kind of dog sounds like you can eat it?… A sausage dog! (Hot Dog Jokes)
Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?… Because you can’t bury them in trees!
How does a dog stop a video?… By pressing the paws button.
My niece was dragged into court by a neighbor who complained about her barking dogs. At one point, the judge asked the neighbor a question. The neighbor didn’t reply. “Sir, are you going to answer me?” The neighbor leaped to his feet. “Are you talking to me?” he asked. “Sorry; I can’t hear a darn thing.” The case was dismissed
“We’re eating dinner soon. Don’t fill up on homework.” Dog mom
What looks like a dog, eats dog food, lives in a doghouse, and is very dangerous?… A dog with a machete.
I tell ya, my dog is lazy. He don’t chase cars. He sits on the curb and takes down license plate numbers. Rodney Dangerfield
How did the little Scottish puppy feel when he saw a monster?… Terrier-fied! (Top Halloween Jokes)
What is a dog’s favorite sport?…Formula 1 drooling! (Car Racing Jokes)
Why did the dog wear white sneakers?… Because his boots were at the menders!

Cat Jokes for Kids

How are pumpkins like cats?… They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home. (Pumpkin Jokes)
Why was the black cat having a concert on Friday the 13th?… Because she was very meow-sical. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
What does a cat fill his pancakes with?… Mice cream! (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
I wrapped my cat in a blanket… Now she’s a purrito.
My cat hates tacos… she prefers to eat purr-itos.
To break the stigma surrounding black cats being a bad omen, the cat joined the red cross society and became a first aid kit-ten and started helping mankind.
While trying a new magic spell, the witch crossed a black cat and an oak tree… The result was a black and white cat-a-log’ue. (Cat Jokes / Witch Jokes / Tree Jokes)
What is a black cat’s favorite game?… Hide and shriek!
On Friday the 13th, the black cat did all her laundry and hung them on a fe-line to dry. (Cat Jokes)
The witches’ black cat fell off the broom while flying… it was cat-astrophic. (Cat Jokes)
The black cat wore her favorite dress for the costume party on Friday 13th… she wore a purrr-ple gown.
At the Friday 13th dance party, the black cat saw her rival fish and said, “I have a bone to pick with you.”
What is the difference between a black cat and a frog?… They say a black cat has nine lives, and the frog croaks every night. (Cat Jokes & Frog Jokes)
How was the black cat feeling on Friday the 13th?… Purr-fectly happy. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
What did the black cat say to the construction worker on Friday The 13th?… It’s fine if you avoid stepping under that ladder. I plan on crossing your path in a minute. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
When is it considered unlucky to see a black cat?… When you are a mouse.
Why was the black cat feeling grouchy on the 13th of Friday?… She was in a very bad meowd.
The cops arrested a black cat on Friday the 13th… they said she was a purr-patrator.
A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along when suddenly a cat attacks them. The mother mouse shouts “BARK!” and the cat runs away. “See?” the mother mouse says to her baby. “Now do you see why it’s important to learn a foreign language?” (Funny Animal Jokes for Kids & Mother’s Day Jokes)
What does a cat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Cat Jokes)
Why is a cat so good at video games?… Because he starts with nine lives!
What grade did the cat do on his math test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What is the title of the autobiography of the cat … Hiss and Tell. (Book Jokes)
What is the a cat’s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cereal Jokes)
What does a cat do when he gets mad?… He has a hissy fit.
What is a cat’s favorite birthday party game?… Mews-ical chairs. (Birthday Jokes)
What does a cat use to make his coffee?… A purr-colator. (Cat Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does a cat run on?… His paws.
What is a cat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Track and Field Jokes)
Why did the cat want to be friends with the fish?… He thought it was a cat fish. (Cat Jokes & Fish Jokes)
What is the cat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and a cat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes)
What kind of musician is a cat ?… A purr-cussionist. (Music Jokes)
What is a the cat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Car Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite musical?… The Sound of Mewsic. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus.
Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Where does a cat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Doctor Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat use to make his coffee?… A purr-colator. (Cat Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does the Cat in the Hat run on?… His paws.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Track and Field Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What kind of musician is the Cat in the Hat ?… A purr-cussionist. (Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Car Jokes)
Why is the Cat in the Hat so good at video games?… Because he starts with nine lives!
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite birthday party game?… Mews-ical chairs. (Birthday Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite musical?… The Sound of Mewsic. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus.
Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his english test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his science test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his physics test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What grade did the cat in the Hat get on his French test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Cat Jokes)
Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Doctor Jokes)
What grade did the Cat in the Hat get on his math test?… A Purrrr-fect score! (Math Jokes for Kids & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What is the title of the unauthorized autobiography of the Cat in the Hat … Hiss and Tell. (Cat Jokes & Book Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite school subject?… HISStory. (Cat Jokes & Social Studies Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat ‘s favorite cereal?… Mice Krispies. (Cat Jokes & Cereal Jokes)
Where does the Cat in the Hat perform?… At the Circus McGurkus. (Cat Jokes & Circus Jokes)
What does the the Cat in the Hat do when he gets mad?… He has a hissy fit. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat want to be friends with the fish?… He thought it was a cat fish. (Cat Jokes & Fish Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite show on TV?… The evening mews. (Cat Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat use to make his coffee?… A purr-colator. (Cat Jokes & Coffee Jokes)
If lights run on electricity and buses run on gas, what does the Cat in the Hat run on?… His paws.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of sneaker?… Mew Balance. (Track and Field Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Grammar Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What kind of musician is the Cat in the Hat ?… A purr-cussionist. (Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is a the Cat in the Hat’s favorite brand of car?… The Catillac. (Car Jokes)
Why is the Cat in the Hat so good at video games?… Because he starts with nine lives!
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite birthday party game?… Mews-ical chairs. (Cat Jokes & Birthday Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite musical?… The Sound of Mewsic. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What color does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Purrr-ple.
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite song?… Three Blind Mice! ((Music Jokes & Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat put the letter “M” into the freezer?… To turn “ice” into “mice” (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus.
Why is the Cat in the Hat such a good piano player?… Because they’re very mewsical. (Cat Jokes & Music Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat wear when he sleeps?… paw-jamas! (Cat Jokes & Napping Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he wears winter shoes?… Puss in boots. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so crabby?… He was in a bad mewd. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat run away from the tree?… It was afraid of the bark! (Cat Jokes & Tree Jokes)
What do you call the Cat in the Hat when he’s walking on snow?… A cool cat. (Cat Jokes & Winter Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)

What kind of yard work does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… Meowing the lawn. (Cat Jokes & Summer Jokes)
How is the Cat in the Hat like a coin?… It has a head on one side and tail on the other. (Cat Jokes & Biology Jokes)
What did the Grinch say when he was caught stealing from a French art museum?… I did it for the Monet! (Art Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat like to eat on hot days?… Mice cream cones. (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
What does the Grinch see with?… Burglarize! (Police Jokes)
How fast did the Grinch’s sled go?… Max speed. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What is another name for the Cat in the Hat’s apartment?… A scratch pad. (Cat Jokes)
What’s the Grinch’s favorite board game?… Mean-opoly!
What is the Cat in the Hat’s best event in gymnastics?… The balance beam! (Cat Jokes & Gymnastics Jokes)
How did the Grinch know to average all of the presents he stole, so that each Who in Whoville got the same amount returned to them?… He’s a mean one, Mr. Grinch. (Math Jokes for Kids)
What did Mr. Turkey say to the Grinch?… We would like to hire you to steal Thanksgiving. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Why did the Grinch not steal any kitchen utensils?… He decided it wasn’t worth the whisk! (Police Jokes)
How did the city folk in Whoville refer to the Grinch?… As a Hill-Bully. (Anti-Bullying Blogs)
Why did the Grinch go down the chimney?… Because it sooted him!
What happened when the Grinch went to the flea circus?… He stole the show!
What’s the difference between Batman and the Grinch?… Batman can go into Whoville without Robin! (Batman Jokes)
Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?… Because he needs to get up on time! (Police Jokes)
Where does the Grinch keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Snow Jokes)
Why did the Grinch go to the liquor store?… To find some Christmas spirit. (Beer Jokes)
What do people say when they hear the Grinch stealing from them?… Who goes there? (Police Jokes)
Why was it so hard to miss the Grinch on Christmas morning?… He had all the presence.
Why was the Grinch invited to the Cinco de Mayo party?… They thought he was a giant avocado. (Cinco De Mayo Jokes)
Why was the Grinch so bad at playing Crazy 8’s?… He was green (he never played before).
I told my wife that I thought that the Grinch’s voice was a little strange… But the wife said “Who?”
Knock knock… Who’s there?… That’s right, the who’s are here! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes)
Where does the Grinch keep his money?… In a snow bank. (Snow Jokes / Grinch Jokes)
What did the Cat in the Hat say when the dog ate its food?… You gotta be kitten me. (Cat Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What is the Cat in the Hat’s favorite magazine?… Good Mousekeeping. (Cat Jokes)
What would Sally’s mom say if she saw the messy house?… What a CATastrophe! (Cat Jokes)
What looks like half a Cat in the Hat ?… The other half. (Cat Jokes)
How does the Cat in the Hat eat ice cream?… With his mouth just like everyone else. (Cat Jokes & Ice Cream Jokes)
What’s the first thing the Cat in the Hat does in the morning?… He wakes up! (Cat Jokes)
Why can’t the Cat in the Hat go to high school?… You’re not allowed to wear hats in school! (Hat Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
Why can’t the Cat in the Hat go to elementary school?… You’re not allowed to wear hats in school! (Hat Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
How do you know the Cat in the Hat used your computer?… Your mouse has teeth marks on it. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat pour oil on the mouse?… Because it squeaked. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Cat in the Hat cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off. (Cat Jokes & Chicken Jokes)
What happens when you give the Cat in the Hat a Rubik’s cube?… It gets purr-plexed. (Cat Jokes)
Why did the Grinch want to go down the chimney?… Because it sooted him. (Grinch Jokes)
Why didn’t the Cat in the Hat ever get grounded?… His mother did not mind anything he did at all. (Cat Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat put up when the rain comes down?… His umbrella! (Cat Jokes & Rain Jokes)
What happens when the Cat in the Hat drinks vinegar?… He turns into a sourpuss. (Cat Jokes)
Why was the Cat in the Hat so good with money?… He knew how to balance a checkbook! (Cat Jokes)
If the Cat in the Hat can jump five feet high, then why can’t he jump through a three foot high window?… The window is closed. (Cat Jokes)
What did the Cat in the Hat name his dog?… Spot! (Cat Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What’s black and white and read all over?… The Cat in the Hat. (Cat Jokes)
What happened when the Grinch went to the flea circus?… He stole the show. (Grinch Jokes)
Why does the Cat in the Hat seem so smart?… Because he knows a lot about that! (Cat Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat use to keep his grass trimmed?… A lawn meower. (Cat Jokes & Summer Jokes)
Which side of the Cat in the Hat has the most fur?… The outside. (Cat Jokes)
Why doesn’t the Cat in the Hat know about this?… Because he only knows a lot about that! (Cat Jokes)
Why was the Grinch so bad at playing Crazy 8’s?… He was green (he never played before).
Why was it so hard to miss the Grinch on Christmas morning?… He had all presence. (Grinch Jokes & Christmas Jokes)
Why was the Grinch invited to the Cinco de Mayo party?… They thought he was a giant avocado. (Grinch Jokes & Cinco de Mayo Jokes)
What do you call the candy the Grinch stole?… Hot chocolate. (Candy Jokes)
Why can’t the Grinch get down from the mountain?… You can only get down from a goose. (Hiking Jokes)

What does the Cat in the Hat use to keep his grass trimmed?… A lawn meower. (Cat Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why do so many people love the Cat in the Hat?… They think he’s purrrr-fect. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Why doesn’t the Cat in the Hat know about this?… Because he only knows a lot about that! (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What did one cat say to the other cat on Valentine’s Day?… Don’t ever change, you’re purrrfect. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What message is on candy hearts for cats?… “You’re purr-fect!” (Candy Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What did the girl cat say to the boy cat on Valentine’s Day?… You’re purrr-fect for me. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand] Cat: you’re one short pal. (Octopus Jokes)
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip?… To the mewseum. (Field Trip Jokes for Kids)
Son to mother after 1st day of school. “Nothing exciting happened except the teacher didn’t know how to spell cat, so I told her.” (Back to School Jokes & Grammar Jokes)
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show?… A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! (Dog Jokes)
Why was the cat afraid of the tree?… Because of its bark! (Dog Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the cat’s favorite TV show?… The evening mews!
What cat said, “The British are coming! The British are coming!”?… Paw Revere. (American Revolution Jokes)
What is smarter than a talking cat?… A spelling bee! (Bee Jokes / 26 Lessons for the Letter of the Week A- Z)
Where does the Cat in the Hat go when he’s sick?… To Dr. Seuss. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What do you call a cat on Christmas Eve?… Sandy Claws. (Christmas Eve Jokes & Cat Jokes)
What is the difference between a comma and the Cat in the Hat?… One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Which cat discovered America?… Christofurry Columbus (Columbus Day Jokes & Thanksgiving Jokes)
What does a cat like to eat on his birthday?… Mice cream and cake! (Birthday Jokes for Kids & Ice Cream Jokes)
What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate?… A Kitty Kat bar! (Candy Jokes)
What happens when it rains cats and dogs?… You have to been careful not to step in a poodle. (Rain Jokes & Dog Jokes)
What do you call a cat on a summer camp field trip to the beach?…. Sandy claws. (Summer Camp Jokes for Kids / Christmas Jokes / Cat Jokes)
What is a cat’s favorite color?… Purrrple!
What does a cat call a hummingbird?… Fast food. (Fast Food Jokes & Bird Jokes)
What do you call a cat in a station wagon?… A car-pet!
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?…. sour-puss (Halloween Jokes)
What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?… Purrr-suasive.
Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?’.. Just kitten.
What do you call a cat on the beach at Christmas time?… Sandy Claws! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
Why don’t cats like online Christmas shopping?… They prefer a cat-alogue. (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes/ Christmas Trivia)
Who did cats vote for in November 2106?… Hillary Kitten. (Top Presidential Jokes)
There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?… None, because they were copycats!
Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party?… Chairman Meow.
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?… the purrpatrator.
What did the alien say to the cat?… Take me to your litter. (Top Astronomy Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?… Kitty Perry! (Horse Jokes)
What do call a cat in a blanket?… A purrrrito!
What is lion’s favorite food?… Baked beings! (Lion Jokes)
Why did the cat put the letter “M” into the fridge?… Because it turns “ice” into “mice!” (Top Winter Jokes)
What happened when the lion ate the comedian?… He felt funny! (Lion Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?… A terrified postman! (Dog Jokes and Mailman Jokes)
What do you call a flying cat?… I’m-paws-sible. (Pilot Jokes)
What did the cat say when he lost all his money?… I’m paw!
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of yarn?… She had a litter of mittens. (Winter Jokes)
What do you call a lion who has eaten your mother’s sister?… An aunt-eater! (Lion Jokes)
Why shouldn’t you kidnap the kitten?… Because curiousity killed the cat burglar.
What do tigers wear in bed?… Stripey pyjamas! (Napping Jokes)
Why did the cat wear a dress?… She was feline fine.
Why was the cat sitting on the computer?… To keep an eye on the mouse! (Computer Jokes)
What did the cat say when he lost his Christmas toys?… You got to be kitten me. (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangaroo?… A stripey jumper!
What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar?… A sourpuss!
How are tigers like sergeants in the army?… They both wear stripes! (Veterans Day Jokes)
What does the Cat in the Hat read in the morning?… The mewspaper. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
How does the Cat in the Hat sing scales?… Do-ri-me-ow. (Dr. Seuss Jokes & Music Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?… A stripey sweater! (Sheep Jokes)
Why is the desert lion everyone’s favorite at Christmas?… Because he has sandy claws! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
How does a lion greet the other animals in the field?… ‘Pleased to eat you.’! (Lion Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman?… Frostbite! (Top Holiday Jokes / Top Winter Jokes / Christmas Trivia)
What is a French cat’s favorite pudding?… Chocolate mousse!
What looks like half a cat?… The other half!
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater?… ‘Claws.’ (Top Summer Jokes & Lion Jokes)
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What’s a tiger?… A stri-ped!
What do you call a cat that wears make up?… Glamourpuss.
What do cats like to read?… Cat-alogues!
What kind of sports car does a cat drive?… A Furrari. (Sports Joke of the Day) (Car Jokes)
What do you call a cat who just ate a duck?… a duck-filled platy puss. (Duck Jokes)
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?… ‘Don’t go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.’
What’s striped and bouncy?… A tiger on a pogo stick!
What is a cat’s favorite dance move?… The Purr-colator. (Coffee Day Jokes)
Why was the cat scared of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Top Arbor Day Jokes)
What do you feed an invisible cat?… Evaporated milk.
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?… Hailing taxi cabs! (Dog Jokes)
How is cat food sold?… Usually purr can!
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?… A tiger moth!
What does the lion say to his friends before they go out hunting for food?… ‘Let us prey.’ (Lion Jokes)
What’s the unluckiest kind of cat to have?… A catastrophe!
Who was the most powerful cat in China?… Chairman Miaow! (World Geography Jokes)
What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree?… A cat-a-logue! (Top Arbor Day Jokes) Tree Jokes)
What do you call a cat race?… A meowathon. (Sports Joke of the Day)
Why did the cat get pulled over by the police?… Because it “littered.” (Police Jokes)
What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim?… An octopuss! (Octopus Jokes)
Why did the cat join the Red Cross?… Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit!
When the cat’s away?… The house smells better!
What is a cats favorite vegetable?… As-purr-agus.
Did you know that cats designed the great pyramids of Giza?… It was all drawn out on paw-pyrus. (World Geography)
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?… A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night! (Frog Jokes)
Did you hear about the passenger who had to be escorted off the airplane?… She let the cat out of the bag. (Pilot Jokes)
Why are cats so good at video games?… Because they have nine lives!
What’s a cat’s favorite button on the tv remote?… Paws.
Did you hear about the cat that thought she was a dog?… She was purr-plexed. (Dog Jokes)
What do cats like to eat on sunny days?… Mice cream cones! (Ice Cream Jokes)
What do you call a cat that doesn’t use the litter box?… A pet project.
What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas?… Santa Claws! (Christmas Jokes)
What kind of car does a fat cat drive?… a Catillac! (car Jokes)
Why was the cat so small?… Because it only ate condensed milk! (Milk Jokes)
What do you call Long John Silver when he has a cat on his shoulder?… A purr-ate! (Pirate Jokes)
What do you call a cat that smells good?… prrrr-fume.
Did you hear about the cat who wanted to learn how to bark?… Curiousity killed the cat.
What is a cats favorite kitchen tool?… The “whisker”
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?… An eskimew!
What is a cats favorite book?… The prince and the paw-purr.
What did the cat say to the dog?… Check meow-t!
What do you call a cat on ice?… One cool cat.
What is a cats favorite musical instrument?… Purr-cussion.
What do you call a cat that can address the media?… a Press Kit.
What do cats wear at night?… paw-jamas!
What time is it when ten cats chase a mouse?… Ten After One.
What do you call a cat that does tricks?… A magic kit.
What do you call a painting of a cat?… A paw-trait
What do you call a cat when it is huge?… A MEOW-SIVE CAT
What do you call a cat that can put together furniture from Ikea?… an Assembly kit.
Why did the cat go to the river?… Claws it wanted to.
What’s the first thing you say to a cat?… HELLO KITTY!
What do you need to get a fast cat to use the litter box?… Quicksand.
What was the special offer at the pet store this week?… Buy 1 Cat get 1 Flea!
What does a cat say when somebody steps on its tail?… Me-ow!
How do you make cats furry?… The spin cycle.
Did you hear about the cat that climbed the Himilayas?… She was a sher-paw.
Why did the cat cross the road?… It was the chicken’s day off!
Where does a cat go when he looses his tail?… The retail store!
What do you call a cat that can rough the great outdoors?… A survival kit.
What do you call a pile of kittens?… a meowntain
When is a lion not a lion?… When he turns into his cage!
What does Christmas have to do with a cat lost in the desert?… They both have sandy claws.
How does the Cat in the Hat get what he wants?… With purr-suasion. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What job did the Cat in the Hat have at the circus?… Acrocat. (Circus Jokes)

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