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Celebrate International Talk Like a Pirate Day (September 19th) with some great pirate jokes!
Teach Like a Pirate: Unofficial International Talk Like a Pirate Day Book for Teachers! (
Social Studies Teachers are Great Tutors!)
- What is a pirate’s favorite letter?.... Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
- Do you know any good pirate jokes?… Neither do Ayyye!
- How do pirates talk to each other?... Aye to aye!
- What did the sea say to the Pirate Captain?... Nothing, it just waved! (Top Geography Jokes)
- Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?... IHOP
- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?... Because they can spend years at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
- Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?.... Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists)
- What happened when Redbeard fell in the Deep Blue Sea?... He got marooned.
- Why should pirates work for FedEx?... They have the fastest ships in the shipping business.
- How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?... An arm and a leg.
- When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?... When it’s on sail.
- What's a pirate's favorite basketball move?... Jump hook. (Top Basketball Jokes)
- Have you heard about the new pirate movie?... It’s rated AARRRRGGH!
- How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?... A-buck-an-ear
- 3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Pi Day Jokes)
- What’s every pirate’s favorite flavor potato chip?... Barrrrrrbeque
- What's the pirate's favorite restaurant?... Trick question because it's either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver's.
- What’s the pirate’s favorite movie?... Booty and the Beast
- Why don’t you ever see a pirate cry?... When they do, it’s a private tear!
- What is the official mascot of of Pi Day?… the PI – rate! (Pi Day Jokes)
- What kind of ships do pirates have trouble with?... Relationships! (Valentine's Day Jokes)
- What's a pirate's favorite state? Arrrrkansas (Top State Jokes)
- What kind of socks does a pirate wear?... AARRRRGGHyle!
- If Blackbeard played sports who would he play for?... Either the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Pittsburg Pirates. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
- How do pirates make their money?... By hook or by crook.
- Why do pirates make excellent fishermen?... They know how to hook the big ones.
- Why are pirates called pirates?... They just aRRRRRRRR
- Why don't pirates use a safe deposit box?... They put their valuables in Davy Jones' Locker.
- What does a pirate wear for Halloween?... A pumpkin patch! (Top Halloween Jokes)
- How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply?... Because it was on sail.
- Why did the pirate not learn how to bowl?... He had a severe hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes).
- What are the only notes a pirate can sing?... High C's [seas]
- What shivers at the bottom of the sea?... a nervous wreck
- Why don't pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?... They'll just wash up on shore later. (Top Geography Jokes)
- Have you heard about the new pirate movie?... It's rated AARRRRRR because of all the booty!
- What does a pirate say when he takes over santa's job?... Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum. (Top Christmas Jokes)
- What's a pirate's favorite kind of cookie?... ships ahoy
- When boxing, what's a pirate's favorite punch? Left hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes)
- Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?... Because they insist there are 7 Cs!
- What's a pirate's least favorite animal?... Beaver.
- Why aren’t there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones’ Locker?... Dead men sell no snails! (French Teachers are Great Tutors!)
- What's a pirate's favorite movie?... Booty and the Beast.
- Where do pirates buy their sketch pads?... Arrrrrrrt Supply Store.
- What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship?... Plank stare.
- How does a pirate tell his matey he'll watch for him?... I'll keep an eye out for you.
- What a pirate's 2 favorite letters?... Arrrr and Seaaaa
- What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say?... I’d like to buy an Aye!
- How much did the pirate's ear-rings cost?... A-buck-an-ear
- What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?... Shiver me timbers!
- What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?... HIGH SEAS! (Top Teacher Jokes)
- What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him?... His booty!
- Why does a pirate's phone go beep beep beep beep beep?... because he left it off the hook!
- Why can't pirates play cards?... Because they're always standing on the deck!
- What is a pirate's favorite subject?... Arrrrrrt
- How do pirates know they exist?... They think, therefore they arrrr
- How much did the pirate pay for his peg-leg and hook?... An arm and a leg
- What's a pirate's second-choice job?... an arrrrrrchitect!
- What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?... arrrr (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
- What’s a pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation?... A cAARRRRGGH!(Top Massachusetts Jokes)
- What Star Wars character is really a pirate?... AARRRRGGH-2 D-2! (Top Star Wars Jokes)
- What’s a pirate’s favorite country?... AARRRRGGHentina! (Top Geography Jokes)
- Why did the pirate go on vacation?... He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH!
- Where do pirates put their trash?... in the GARRRRRRRRRRRBAGE can!
- What is a pirates favorite doll?... BARRRRRRRRRRBIE!
- Where do pirates keep their cookies?... in a jarrrr!!!!
- How did the pirate become a lawyer?... he passed the barrrrr!!!!
- Where do pirates like to eat?... the HARRRRRRD rock cafe!
- What are pirates afraid of?... the DARRRRRRRRRRK
- What did the pirate do to his drowning first mate?... C P ARRRRRRRRR
- Where did the pirate put its car when it was done driving it?... the PARRRRRRRRRKING lot
- Why are pirates the coolest?... they just ARRRRRRRR!!!
- Where do pirates keep their weapons?... in an ARRRRRRRRSONAL!
- What's a pirates favorite fast food restaurant? .........arrrrrr-by's
- Where do pirates park their ships?... in the harrrrrrbor!
- Where do pirates get their haircut?... at the barrrrrber!
- Why is there smoke all around the pirate?... He's smoking a cigarrr.
- Why does the pirate say AED?... He knows medical Jarrrgon
- What was the pirate's golf score?... parrrr
- Why did the pirate move to Russia?... To be czarrr
- How much does it cost a pirate to get a piercing?... A buck an ear!
- How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?... An arm and a leg!
- What does a gourmet pirate add to his dinner?... A gAARRRRGGHnish!
- What has 8 arms and 8 legs?... Eight pirates!
- How did the pirate stop smoking?... He used the patch!
- What do you call a pirate that skips class?... Captain Hooky!
- Where do pirates get chocolate?... Carob bean
- Where do pirates drink their beer?... In schooners.
- Which pirate ship has a gate?... Frigate.
- What is a buccaneer?... Pretty high price to pay for corn.
- What does a vegan pirate do in jail?... Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!
- Where does a pirate store his workout clothes?... Davy Jone's Locker.
- What's Bluebeard's favorite song?... Doubloon Moon.
- How did the pirate stop smoking?... He used the patch.
- What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?... RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
- What's a pirate's favorite food?... Arrrrrtichokes.
- Why do pirates never go hiking?... poison oak is deadly with hook
- Where do pirates find their birds?... Parrots Without Partners.
- Did you hear about the pirate's parrot that fell in love with a duck?... The bird kept saying, "Polly wants a quacker".
- Why couldn't the young pirate see the R-rated movie?... There was no parrot-al guidance.
- Why does a pirate fear getting older?... He could have arrrrthritus.
- How do pirates eat on their ships?... Slurp soup on the sloop.
- What's orange and sounds like a parrot?... A carrot
- What does a pirate think happens at the end of time?... Arrrrmageddon.
- What exercise is hard for Blackbeard?... Pirate Pilates.
- Who was the pirate's favorite musician?... Carlos Bandana.
- What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes?... A dozen pirates
- Who's the pirate's favorite actress?... Diane Cannon.
- How does a pirate, wearing a patch, say "yes" to the leader?... Eye Eye, Captain.
- What does a pirate put on toast?... Jelly Roger.
- Why did the pirate refuse to say, "Aye, Aye, Captain"?... Because he's only got one eye.
- What was Bluebeard's wife's name?... Peg.
- What's the smelliest part of a pirate ship?... the poop deck.