Farming Jokes for Kids

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More Farming Jokes…

Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best farming jokes.
What’s wrong with Soviet agriculture?… Spring, Summer, Autumn, and Winter.
Happy Labor Day! Oh wait… we live on a farm. Never mind! (Labor Day Jokes)
What kind of vest do farmers wear in the fall?… A har-vest! (Fall Jokes)
Did you know Bill Russell had a HUGE growth spurt?… His family gave him a nickname. Russell Spouts. (NBA Basketball Jokes)
I turned to farming, but I wasn’t outstanding in my field. (Labor Day Jokes)
What did the farmer say to his workers on Labor Day?… “I don’t carrot all, take the day off and lettuce celebrate!” (Lettuce Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
Why did the scarecrow win an award?… Because he was outstanding in his field.
Did you all hear the one about a guy whose wife left him for a tractor salesman?… She gave him a John Deere letter! (Divorce Jokes)
Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate! (Farming Jokes / Pirate Jokes / Pumpkin Jokes)
Who is a potato farmers favorite NBA basketball player of all-time?… Anthony “Spud” Webb. (Georgia Jokes & Potato Jokes)
What did the sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?… I Yam your father! (Father’s Day Jokes / Farming Jokes / Dad Jokes)
Why did the dairy farmer move to a ski area?… He heard that skiers do milk runs. (Skiing Jokes & Milk Jokes)
My friend got fired from his cow milking job because of his erratic behavior…. He was a danger to himself and udders. (Milk Jokes & Cow Jokes)
In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell?… Medicine. (Doctor Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
What has ears but can’t hear a thing?… A cornfield. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
What vegetable wouldn’t Christopher Columbus bring back for the queen?… Leeks – because he was on a ship and didn’t want to sink. (Columbus Day Jokes)
What do you get when you cross a farm laborer with an octopus?… The best darn apple picker you’ve ever seen. (Octopus Jokes & Apple Jokes)
What did the farmer tell the crying apple orchard keeper to do?… Grow a pear. (Apple Jokes & Farming Jokes)
How do you make a gold pie?… You put 14 carrots on it.
Farmer’s patch There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, “Now there are two!” (Watermelon Jokes)
What’s green and goes to summer camp?…A brussel scout! (Summer Camp Jokes)
Who did the farmer say when his squash went missing?… There’s pumpkin strange happening around here…
How can you farm during the winter?… Use a snow plow. (Winter Jokes)
If you crossed a zucchini with our first president, what would you get?… George Squashington.
What political party are most corn farmers and growers?… They are “corn” servative republic-corns. (Corn Jokes & Election Jokes)
What is a farmer’s favorite college football team?… The Nebraska Cornhuskers! (College Football Jokes & Nebraska Jokes)
I had a shepherd’s pie for lunch today… He wasn’t happy.
What do you call a hockey player in a leaky barn?… Grain Wetzsky. (Hockey Jokes)
What do farmers wear when they’re cold?… A har-vest.
What did the corn farmer say to his therapist?… An ear full. (Psychology Jokes & Farming Jokes)
I have ears, but I am unable to hear? Who am I?… A cornfield. (Corn Jokes)
What would farmers say when they pick up the corn on the field?… “Aww! Shucks!” (Corn Jokes)
Why don’t cows have any money?… Because farmers milk them dry. (Milk Jokes & Cow Jokes)
What did the farmer give his wife for Valentine’s Day?… Hogs and kisses. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What runs around a farm but doesn’t move?… a fence.
Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?… So he could grade his eggs. (Egg Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
What kind of vest should you wear in the fall?… A har-vest! (Fall Jokes)
Why couldn’t the farmer find his way out of the corn field?… He was in the middle of a maize! (Massachusetts Corn Mazes & Corn Jokes)
What did the sweet potato say to Luke Skywalker?… I Yam your father! (Star Wars Jokes & Farming Jokes)
A Yam and a hot dog are having a heart-to-heart…Yam: Can I be candied with you? Hot dog: In that case, let me be frank. (Hot Dog Jokes)
What vegetable do you eat at summer camp when you want to be very fast?… Hustle sprouts! (Summer Camp Jokes)
Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow! (Farming Jokes & Snow Jokes)
Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable?… Because it’s got heart. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?… So he could grade his eggs. (Egg Jokes / Farming Jokes / Jokes for Teachers)
What’s a southern farmer’s favorite treat?… Cotton candy. (Candy Jokes)
Why did the farmer hire a gymnast to help move his broken wagon?…because she was excellent at cart wheels! (Gymnastics Jokes)
BEATING HEARTS What did one beet say to the other on Valentine’s Day?… You make my heart beet faster! (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What kind of vest should you wear in the fall?… A har-vest! (
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about the farming?
Why can’t tomatoes win races against lettuce at the Summer Games?… The lettuce are always a head, and the tomatoes are always trying to ketchup! (Lettuce Jokes & Summer Olympic Jokes)
“Have you heard of Murphy’s law?” “Yeah.” “What is it?” “If something can go wrong, it will go wrong.” “That’s right. Have you heard of Cole’s law?” “No, what is it?” “Thinly sliced cabbage and mayo.” (Father’s Day Jokes & Farming Jokes)
If you crossed a vegetable with our first president, what would you get… George Squashington. (American Revolution Jokes)
What did baby corn say to mama corn?… Where’s popcorn? (Popcorn Jokes for Kids / Father’s Day Jokes / Corn Jokes)
What’s Jason Voorhees favorite bean?… A human bean. (Friday the 13th Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good farming knock-knock joke?
What did the herb say to his friends when he finally graduated from college with a degree in event management?… It is now my thyme to party! (Graduation Jokes)
What vegetables to librarians like?… Quiet peas. (Library Jokes & Back to School Jokes)
What do you call a potato that has turned to the Dark side?… Vader Tots. (May the 4th Be With You Jokes)
What do you get when a bunch of sheep stand in a circle?… Shepard’s pi. (Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)
What do you call a field of popcorn?… A-maze-ing! (Popcorn Jokes)
Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?… He wanted to make mashed potatoes. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Why did the farmer bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich!
I wasn’t going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict… So I’m going home for the hollandaise. (Egg Jokes & World’s Best Christmas Jokes)
How did the dairy farmer locate his missing cow?… He tractor down. (Milk Jokes)
What is a corn’s favorite holiday?… New Ear’s Eve. (Corn Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good farming knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
Why was there a pig at the hockey game?… He drove the hambony. (Pig Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
Which vegetable does the Cat in the Hat like the most?… As-purr-agus. (Cat Jokes & Dr. Seuss Jokes)
What kind of flowers do you never give on Valentine’s Day?… Cauliflowers! (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes & Flower Jokes)
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a cornfield?… Because the corn has ears. (Biology Jokes & Corn Jokes)
Why did the pig kill the farmer?… To save his own bacon. (Bacon Jokes & Pig Jokes)
What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?… His bark was much worse than it’s bite! (Dog Jokes)
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash. (Pumpkin Jokes & Farming Jokes)
Why did the scarecrow win a medal?… He was outstanding in his field. (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Fall Jokes)
Why can’t you play hockey with pigs?… They hog the puck. (Pig Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
Why was there a pig at the hockey game?… He drove the hambony. (Pig Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?… Because he was out standing in his field! (Scarecrow Jokes & Farming Jokes)
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?… Monster mash potatoes and grave-y. (Halloween Jokes & Farming Jokes)
Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?… He sensed fowl play. (Turkey Jokes)
Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day?… He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
If your great-grandmother saw you making boxed mashed potatoes … she would turn over in her gravy. (Thanksgiving Jokes & (Grandparent Jokes)
How much do pirates charge for corn on the cob?… A buck-an-ear. (Corn Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?… Squash casserole. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
What vegetables do middle school librarians like?… Quiet peas. (Library Jokes)
Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?… It had 24 carrots. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
What is a plumber’s favorite vegetable is…a leek!!
What did the sweet potato say when it was asked if it was hungry?… “Yes, I yam.”
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?… Do you smell carrots? (Snowman Jokes)
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries! (Top Fall Jokes)
What do you get when you cross Spider-Man with an ear of corn?… Cobwebs. (Spiderman Jokes for Kids & Farming Jokes)
Why did the graduate bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich! Graduation Jokes)
What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?… A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries. (Pirate Jokes & Farming Jokes)
Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?… Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow! (Snow Jokes)
What’s green and goes to summer camp?…A brussel scout! (Summer Camp Jokes)
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm?… Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears! (Top Biology Jokes)
Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel Prize?… Because he was out standing in his field!
What new crop did the farmer plant?… Beets me!
Where do farmers send their kids to grow?… Kinder-garden. (Top Elementary Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
What do you get when you cross a robot and a tractor?… A transfarmer.
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?… It was going ear to ear in his cornfield. (Worm Jokes)
What day do potatoes hate the most?… Fry-day! (French Fry Day Jokes)
What don’t worms from the cornfield follow directions?… Everything goes in one ear and out the other. (Worm Jokes)
What does Chuck Norris do when he wants popcorn?… He breathes on Nebraska! (Nebraska Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
What farm animal keeps the best time?… A watch dog! (Top Dog Jokes)
Did you hear about the magic tractor?… It turned into a field!
What do farmers use to make crop circles?… A Protractor (Top Pi Day Jokes
If a cow laughed really hard…. would milk come out of her nose? (Top Biology Jokes)
Why did the cow jump over the moon?… The farmer had cold hands.
What kind of pigs know karate?… Pork chops!
What grows under your nose?… Tulips! (Top Spring Jokes)
Who tells chicken jokes?… Comedihens!
What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?… Udder nonsense!
Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain?… He has got no beef.
What happened when the farmer crossed a chili pepper, a shovel and a terrier?… He got a hot-diggity-dog! (Top Dog Jokes)
Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed!
How do tacos say grace?… Lettuce pray. (Taco Jokes & Lettuce Jokes)
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?… Where’s popcorn?
Why did the pig take a bath? The farmer said, “Hogwash”!
Why do cows like being told jokes?… Because they like being amoosed!
What do you call a horse that lives next door?.. A neigh-bor!
What is a sheep’s favorite game?… Baa-dminton!
Why did the cabbage win the race? …Because it was ahead!
Why did the police arrest the turkey?… They suspected it of fowl play!
What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?… An eggroll!
Why did the farmer plant a seed in his pond?… He was trying to grow a water-melon. (Watermelon Jokes)
Farmer’s patch There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, “Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide.” The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer’s sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, “Now there are two!” (Watermelon Jokes)
Why were the baby strawberries crying?… Their ma and pa were in a jam.
What type of horses only go out at night?… Nightmares!
What is a horse’s favorite sport?… Stable tennis!
What did the farmer get when he crossed an owl with a goat?… a ‘Hootinanny’
Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar?… He wanted sweet and sour pork!
What did the farmer say when he lost one of his cows?… What a miss-steak.
Who takes care of the farm when the farmer is sick?… The farmacist (pharmacist).
Why did the lamb call the police?… He had been fleeced.
Why was the cucumber mad?… Because it was in a pickle!
How did the farmer find his lost cow?… He tractor down.
What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?… Laughing stock.
What grows when fed but dies when watered?… Fire.
What do you give a sick horse?… Cough stirrup!
What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries! (Scarecrow Jokes & Farming Jokes)
What do you call a dog on the farm?… A Corn Dog.
Why did the tomato blush?… Because he saw the salad dressing!
What do you call an arctic cow?… An eskimoo!
What do you call a pig thief?… A hamburglar!
What do you get when you cross a Elephant with a garden?… Squash!
What do you call a sleeping bull?… A bull-dozer.
Farmer: “Why can’t you make bread like my mother?” Wife: “Why can’t you make dough like my father?”
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a pony! Doctor: Don’t worry, you’re just a little hoarse!
I was really impressed by the farmer I saw the other day. He was out standing in his field.
Where do cows go on dates?… the MOOOOOOvies.
Why did the pig kill the farmer?… To save his own bacon. (Bacon Jokes)
Why did the middle school student bury all his money?…. to make his soil rich! (Middle School Jokes)
Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?… He sensed fowl play.

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