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  • 101 Jaws Jokes

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    1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Jaws shark jokes!
    2. Friday the 13th Jokes: What happens when Friday the 13th falls on the 75th Anniversary of Jaws… It is JAWsome!
    3. Where’s the first place Bruce, the shark from Jaws visited in Europe?…  Finland. 
    4. Where was Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite opening for the movie?…  Finland.
    5. Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?… Santa Jaws!
    6. If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?… Loch Jaws! 
    7. How did the Royal Family get to Martha’s Vineyard for the 50th Anniversary of Jaws… The Island Queen.
    8. What song does Bruce, the shark from Jaws sing while hunting for food?… Don’t Stop Bleedin’! 
    9. On Amity Island, what’s it called when one thing makes something else happen?… Jaws and effect. 
    10. What did the millennial say when his friend played jaws on the piano?… That low key gave me chills.
    11. I started downloading Jaws the other day… But after one megabyte, my computer died.
    12. #1 Amity Island AirBNB: Summer rental, 3 rooms, outdoor shower, ocean view WITH A POOL!
    13. Amity Island Summer PSA: Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean.
    14. What’s does Bruce, the Jaws shark like to say in agreement?… De-fin-itely. 
    15. What’s a Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite TV show?… Shark Tank!
    16. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark say to the whale?… What are you blubbering about?  
    17. What advice did Bruce, the Jaws shark give his son?… “Go take a bite out of life!” 
    18. What happened when Bruce, the Jaws shark got famous?… He became a starfish! 
    19. Amity Island Summer PSA: A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there. 
    20. What is Bruce, the Jaws shark favorite card game?… Go fish.
    21. When Bruce, the Jaws shark who g0t married?… He was hooked for life.
    22. Why are Bruce, the Jaws shark, hard to trust?… He tells Great White lies. 
    23. I went to a Halloween party dressed as Bruce, the Jaws shark…. The novelty is wearing a little fin!
    24. If you watch Jaws backwards it’s the heartwarming story of a shark that helps physically-challenged people put their lives back together.
    25. Who’s Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite Star Wars character?… Chewbacca! 
    26. What’s Bruce, the Jaws shark favorite bible story?… Noah’s shark! 
    27. What was Chief Brody’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “A shark ate it!”
    28. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the scariest summer movie that was released in 1975? (Jaws)
    29. Where do Bruce, the Jaws shark, go t0ntry to make it big as a country singer ?… Gnashville. 
    30. What do Bruce, the Jaws shark and a computer have in common?… They both have megabites!
    31. Bruce, the Jaws shark swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would be all come down to who is the better cyclist.
    32. Why did the octopus beat Bruce, the Jaws shark, in a fight?… Because the octopus was well armed! 
    33. What do you call an acrobat swimming in the waters of Amity Island?… A balanced breakfast.
    34. Why can’t Bruce, the Jaws shark read?… They are not part of a school.
    35. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark say to the other after eating a clown fish??… ‘Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.’ 
    36. What is Bruce, the Jaws shark. two most favorite words?… Man overboard.
    37. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name the girl who was eaten in the opening scene of Jaws?
    38. News just in of an Amity Island honeymooner killed in a shark attack. The man had been married very recently… A police spokesman said “Fortunately the man did not suffer too much as he had only been married 5 days.”
    39. Bruce, the Jaws shark will eat anything and everything…. Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.
    40. What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between Bruce, the Jaws shark’s teeth?… Slow swimmers!
    41. What’s Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite meal?… Fish and ships.
    42. What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with Bruce, the shark from Jaws?… Frost bite
    43. Bruce, the Jaws shark: “Where’s my bloody dinner?”
    44. What’s Bruce, the Jaws shark’s favorite breakfast food?… A jellyfish filled donut.
    45. Who is the Bruce, the Jaws shark,’s favorite 1950s film actor?… Shark Hudson
    46. Why did Bruce, the Jaws shark, cross the reef?… To get to the other tide! 
    47. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name the drunk boy who is last scene with girl who was eaten in the opening scene of Jaws? (Trinity)
    48. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the director of Jaws? (Steven Spielberg)
    49. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the composer forJaws? (John Williams)
    50. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe name the author of the book Jaws was based on? (John Williams)
    51. Amity Island Summer PSA There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks… Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet. 
    52. How do Bruce, the shark from Jaws, start his day?… They drink jaw-va.
    53. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Otto… Otto who?… Otto be careful of swimming on Amity Island.
    54. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite Jimmy Buffet song?… Fins.
    55. What was the most requested Jimmy Buffet song at the 50th Anniversary of Jaws?… Fins.
    56. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name of the marine biologist from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute? (Matt Hooper)
    57. What is Bruce, the Jaws shark, 2nd favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption!
    58. What What is Bruce, the Jaws shark, favorite James Joyce novel?… FINnegan’s wake.
    59. What does Bruce, the Jaws shark, order at McDonalds?… A quarter flounder with cheese!
    60. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark, get on his marine biology test?… A sea-minus.
    61. What did Bruce, the Jaws shark, get on his marine biology test?… A sea-plus.
    62. Bruce, the shark from Jaws, has been out of work for some time now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers’ chomp. 
    63. Why didn’t Bruce, the shark from Jaws, want to fight the octopus?… Because he knew he was well-armed! 
    64. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite song?… No-fin compares to you by Sinead O’Connor. 
    65. Knock knock?…Who is there?… Canoe… Canoe who… Canoe tell me the name of the actor who played the marine biologist from the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute? (Richard Dreyfuss)
    66. How was Jaws able to sneak up on people while they were swimming?… Wouldn’t they hear the tuba?
    67. How do you make Bruce, the shark from Jaws, laugh?… Tell a whale of a tale. 
    68. I would like to see a Great White Shark before I die… But not right before I die. 
    69. Amity Island Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round.
    70. Amity Island Summer PSA: There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks… Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet. 
    71. Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Jaws Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! 
    72. What do Bruce, the shark from Jaws, have on their toast?… Mermalaid.   
    73. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws, favorite sandwich?… A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich
    74. Where was the Jaws sharks originally from?… Finland. 
    75. How does the Jaws shark start his day?… Jaw-va.
    76. Why wasn’t the woman from Amity Island afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?… Because it was a man-eating shark! 
    77. I went to a Halloween party dressed as the Jaws shark…. The novelty is wearing a little fin!
    78. What candy must a shark with braces avoid?… Jaw-breakers! 
    79. The French remake of “Jaws” has a surprise ending… “Fin”
    80. What does Bruce, the shark from Jaws put on his toast?… Buh-tah. Buh-tah. Buh-tah tah-tah
    81. Other than Jaws, what’s a shark’s favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption!
    82. What did the shark say to the marlin at 50th Anniversary of Jaws?… Lookin’ Sharp. 
    83. Why is the Jaws shark hard to trust?… He tell Great White lies. 
    84. #1 requested song for the Jaws 50th Anniverary?… Fins by Jimmy Buffet.
    85. The Jaws shark only did one movie and has not worked since, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers’ chomp. 
    86. What did the Jaws get on his marine biology test?… A sea-minus. 
    87. Three things I want to do before I die: #1 Swim next to a Great White Shark! 
    88. What is a shark’s favorite song?… No-fin compares to you by Sinead O’Connor. 
    89. Shark Pun: Go ahead and mako my day. 
    90. Marine biologists were baffled by why Jaws would always swim away after chomping off swimmers’ legs. Turns out he’s lack toes intolerant.
    91. Why did Jaws cross the reef?… To get to the other tide! 
    92. Why do the Jaws shark have teeth?… For eating porpoises.
    93. Did you hear how they found out the girl Jaws attacked had dandruff?… They found her head & shoulders on the beach.
    94. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Jaws? 
    95. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Amity Island? 
    96. Being a dentist was useful professionally… It opened up a lot of jaws.
    97. What text should have appeared when Jaws ended?… Fin.
    98. Did you hear about the supremely proper way the Englishman greeted the master fisherman from Jaws?… It was ‘ello, Quint!
    99. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Jaws knock-knock joke? 
    100. How does Bruce, the shark from Jaws stay up all night?… They drink jaw-va. 
    101. What is Bruce, the shark from Jaws’s favorite programming language?… Jaw-va.
    102. What’s the Habsburg Dynasty’s favorite movie?… Jaws
    103. Bruce, the shark from Jaws sure is athletic—he’s been working on his a-gil-ity!