September Jokes for Kids

by | Jun 17, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. Knock knock?… Who is there?… Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to find the best September jokes!
  2. September 2nd: Top 10 Labor Day Jokes: Father: Do you know, most people don’t have to work today, because it’s Labor Day. Son: If people are not working, shouldn’t we call today ‘No-Labor Day?’ (Father’s Day Jokes)
  3. Jimmy Buffet Jokes: Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe, who?… Canoe you tell me the footwear Jimmy Buffet wore to his Labor Day Weekend Show? (Canoe Jokes)
  4. What month does every tree dread?… Sept-timmmberrr!
  5. September 5th National Cheese Pizza Day: Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?… Never mind, it’s too cheesy. (Cheese Jokes)
  6. September 6th: National Read A Book Day Top 10 Book Jokes: What’s a bee’s favorite novel?… The Great Gats-bee! (Bee Jokes)
  7. September 7th (1st Saturday) World Beard Day Jokes Beard Jokes: “I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.” Dad (Father’s Day Jokes)
  8. September 7th (1st Saturday) National Tailgating Day: What do college football centers wear on their feet?… Hiking shoes. (Hiking Jokes)
  9. September 8th Grandparents Day: Top 10 Grandparent Jokes: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?… Instagram.
  10. September 8th #StarTrekDay Top 10 Star Trek Jokes: What was the Christmas tree’s favorite thing about Star Trek?… The Captain’s log. (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  11. September 11th: We have no joke today. Our thoughts are with the families of the victims of 9/11. We thank 1st responders everywhere, especially NYPD & NYFD. Never Forget.
  12. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (September Knock Knock Jokes / Tree Jokes / Arbor Day Jokes)
  13. Friday September 13th: Top 50 Friday the 13th Jokes What do get when you cross Jason Voorhees and a box of cherrios?… A cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  14. September 13th: National Peanut Day Jokes: Where do peanut drivers go to fill their tanks?…  The Shell station! (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  15. Harvest Moon Jokes: What do you wear to the September full moon?… A Har-VEST. 
  16. Top 10 Back to School Jokes: Knock! Knock!… Who is there?… Teddy!… Teddy who?… Teddy (today) is the first day of school! (Knock Knock Jokes for Kids & Jokes for the 1st Day of School)
  17. September 17th: Constitution Day: Constitution Jokes: How is a healthy person like the United States?… They both have good constitutions
  18. September 18th: National Cheeseburger Day: Cheeseburger Jokes: What did Mr. and Mrs. Hamburger name their daughter?…. Patty.
  19. September 19th: Talk Like a Pirate Day: Top Pirate Jokes: What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
  20. September 20th Harvest Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  21. September 21st Mini Golf Day: They always asked me if I play basketball because I was tall… They stopped asking me that when I asked them if they play mini-golf. (Golf Jokes)
  22. September 22nd: The 1st Day of Fall: What do the leaves say before they hibernate?… Rake me up when September ends.
  23. National Read a Book Day Jokes: What’s black and white and read all over?… The Cat in the Hat. (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
  24. In September, you pick me when I’m good and ready. In October, you cut me intentionally to make me look worse. In November, you trash me like you never knew me. What am I?… A Jack-o-Lantern for Halloween. (Pumpkin Jokes)
  25. September 25th: National Lobster Day: Lobster Jokes: Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. (Ocean Jokes for Kids)
  26. Hurricane Helene Jokes: Be safe!… Hurricane Helene might be a Cat 3… A good chance it will raise Hell!
  27. Why do hockey players work in bakeries during the off season?… They’re great at icing the cakes. (Cake Jokes & Hockey Jokes)
  28. If you have to schedule a meeting with a person or people you do not like, here are some days to tell them, no manner what year…February 30th, April 31st, June 31st, September 31st, November 31st
  29. Top 10 Fall Jokes: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  30. September 25th: National Lobster Day: Lobster Jokes: Why did the lobster blush?… It saw the ocean’s bottom. (Ocean Jokes for Kids &
  31. My wife and I just had a daughter and named her SeptemberOctoberNovember… We call her Autumn for short. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Baby Jokes)
  32. Why did the disgruntled hot dog vendor quit his job?… He just didn’t relish it. (Hot Dog Jokes)
  33. Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter?…  I’m nut telling you. You might spread it! (Peanut Butter Jokes)
  34. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about September? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  35. Really hate having to wait till September to drive my new car… I shouldn’t have bought an autumnobile.
  36. Why do we have Labor Day in September?… Because May Day was already taken! (May Day Jokes & September Jokes)
  37. 101 Hurricane Jokes: Knock, knock?… Who is there?… August… August Who?… A gust of wind over 74 MPH could be the start of a hurricane! (August Jokes)
  38. What is the best song to listen to on a full moon night in September?… Harvest Moon by Neil Young. (Harvest Moon Jokes)
  39. Why’s it so easy to trick a leaf in September?… They fall for anything.
  40. What did October say to August?… Wake me up when September ends! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Music Jokes)
  41. What comes at the end of Sepember?… R!
  42. Full Moon Jokes: Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Candy!… Candy who?… Candy cow jump over the moon? (Cow Jokes & Candy Jokes)
  43. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about September? (Knock Knock Jokes)
  44. What did one Christmas tree say to the other Christmas tree?… “I wish Christmas would last forever because there would be no Sep-timber!” (September Jokes/ Christmas Tree Jokes / Christmas Jokes)
  45. How many seconds are there in one year?… 12 – January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, and December 2nd. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  46. There’s a place where January comes after February and December comes before September… It’s the dictionary! (Grammar Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  47. So today’s the day those 8-legged Bears wake up from hibernation. When September ends… the OctoBears wake up.
  48. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good September knock-knock joke? (June Jokes)
  49. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me a September Joke? (Canoe Jokes)
  50. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name all the September holidays? (Canoe Jokes)
  51. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?… A Peddler! (Labor Day Jokes & Bike Jokes)
  52. Labor Day Jokes: Did you hear the joke about Labor Day?… It doesn’t work for me! (Labor Day Jokes)
  53. Teacher: Everybody hand in your homework, please. Students: Teacher, it’s the first day of school. We didn’t have any homework. Teacher: That’s right, and that’s the last excuse for not doing your homework that I’ll accept for the rest of the year. (Back to School Jokes)
  54. What month do Christmas trees hate most?… Sep-timber! (Christmas Tree Jokes)
  55. Tomorrow we have to wake Green Day up… When September ends.
  56. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  57. What is every single tree’s least favorite month?… SepTIMMMBERRR! (Tree Jokes)
  58. You know, I use to be a teacher, but found out I didn’t have enough class… (Teacher Jokes)
  59. September really puts a spring in one’s step in the Southern Hemisphere… But for the North, they really take the fall. (World Geography Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  60. Mother: How did you find school on the 1st day today? Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was! (Back to School Jokes & Mother’s Day Jokes)
  61. I don’t get why we have to know when the fall of Berlin was obviously Berlin has fall every year September to December. (World Geography Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  62. Fall Jokes for Kids: Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer. (Summer Jokes for Kids)
  63. Friday the 13th Jokes: Why does Freddy Krueger wear a hat?… He ran out of scare spray. (Barber Jokes)
  64. International Bacon Day: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer’s day?… I’m bacon! (Bacon Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  65. Friday the 13th: Dear Jedi, Today is Friday the 13th, there’s never been a better time to join the Dark Side. (Star Wars Jokes)
  66. September 15th is National Camouflage Day… I hope I don’t see anyone celebrating.
  67. What reads and lives in an apple?… A bookworm! (Book Jokes & Apple Jokes)
  68. So today’s the day those 8-legged Bears wake up from hibernation… When September ends, the OctoBears wake up! (October Jokes & Bear Jokes)
  69. Don’t June know it’s September? (August Jokes)
  70. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good September knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  71. What is worse that finding a worm in an apple?… Finding a half of worm. (Worm Jokes)
  72. What was the name of the worm army?… The Apple Corps. (Memorial Day Jokes & Apple Jokes) 
  73. How can you tell which end of a worm is which?… Throw an apple and yell fetch. (Worm Jokes)
  74. I really hate having to wait till September to drive my new car… Shouldn’t have bought an autumnobile. (Fall Jokes & Car Jokes)
  75. What did the worm say to the friend who got stuck in an apple?… You’re going to have to worm your way out of this one. (Apple Jokes)
  76. Why did the worm leave the apple?… Because Noah said to travel in pairs. (Apple Jokes)
  77. Why didn’t the two worms get on Noah’s Ark in an apple?… Because everyone had to go on in pairs! (Apple Jokes)
  78. What is worse than finding a worm in your apple?…  Finding two worms. (Apple Jokes)
  79. What is the maggot army called?… The Apple Corps! (Apple Jokes)
  80. I was supposed to finish living with my new foster parents in June, but its been moved to September… I’m so happy with my extended family. (June Jokes)
  81. What did the detective in the Arctic say to the suspect?… Where were you on the night of September to March?
  82. National Pride Day should be September 21. September 22 is the first day of Autumn… and as everyone knows, Pride goes before a Fall.
  83. September is World Alzheimer’s awareness month…Never forget.
  84. Apparently most babies are born in September… I suppose that’s one way to start the new year off with a bang. (New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  85. Did anyone call Green Day yesterday?… Someone was supposed to wake them up before September ended… (Music Jokes)
  86. If you were born in mid September you’re not a Virgo… You’re a Christmas present. (Baby Jokes)
  87. If you have to schedule a meeting with a person or people you do not like, here are some days to tell them, no manner what year… February 30th April 31st June 31st September 31st November 31st. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  88. How many seconds are there in one year?… 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  89. Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle…. October through May, then June through September.
  90. I’m a narcoleptic Green Day fanatic… Wake me up when September ends.
  91. Have you heard of the mafioso who only works between September and December?… He’s the fall guy.
  92. Somebody needs to wake up Billy Joe Armstong today.”Wake me up when September ends…” Green Day
  93. I wish my friend actually cared about Earth, Wind and Fire lyrics… All they remember is”dancing in September.”
  94. What does the Chicago Cubs’s name stand for?… Completely Useless By September. (Baseball Jokes)
  95. September is deaf awareness month?… Haven’t heard of it.
  96. Don’t June know it’s September?… I can’t December. (December Jokes)
  97. September 13th: Grandparents Day: Grandparents Day Jokes: Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma… Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Grandma. Knock! Knock!… Who’s there?… Aunt. Aunt who?… Aunt you glad Grandma’s gone?
  98. September 13th: Grandparents Day Jokes: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?… Instagram. (Grandparent Jokes)
  99. September 20th Harvest Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?… Because it was full! (Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  100. Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year… Hers is in January and mine in September! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  101. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  102. Last year, I saw a ghost fly by and September went really slow. (Ghost Jokes)