Wizard of Oz Jokes

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1. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Wizard of Oz Jokes! 
2. We are updating our Wizard of Oz Jokes… We want to make them Wicked good!
3. Did Judy Garland do a good job as an actress in the Wizard of Oz?… Yes, she brought the house down. 
4. If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa.
5. Massachusetts Movie Review of Wicked: “Wicked Pissah!”
6. Who is Dorothy’s favorite band?… Toto. 
7. Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz is by far the greatest character of all time… No one could hold a candle to him. 
8. What is the Tin Man’s favorite album?… The Blizzard of Ozz by Ozzy Osbourne. The Tin Man loves HeavyMetal. 
9. Why was the Tinman hard to get along with?… Because he was heartless and he had an ax to grind. 
10. “Oh, you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful!” The Wizard of Oz 
11. Have you heard about the new restaurant in Oz?… It’s called “The Flying Monkey” and their wings are wicked! 
12. Oz: TinMan, you get a heart. Tinman: Thanks! Oz: Lion, you get courage. Lion: Thanks. Oz: Scarecrow, a brain. Scarecrow: Thanks! Oz: And Dorothy get to go home…I think that’s everyone. Toto: What about me? Oz: What do you want? Toto: Hmmm…bless the rains in Africa?
13. I met a munchkin who told me he was a baker… He made the best shortbread in Oz!
14. DOROTHY: And you, Scarecrow, well I’ll miss you most of all. (Tin Man turns to Lion) TIN MAN: What about us? 
15. My job is selling houses in places like Narnia, Middle-Earth, Neverland, Oz and Wonderland… I’m a Not Real Estate Agent. 
16. 4 former Presidents are in OZ. The Great Wizard. WHAT DO YOU WANT? Jimmy Carter: I had a terrible time with Iran, I’ve come for some courage. Ronald Reagan: I … think I need a brain. George Bush: I’m told by the American people that I need a heart. Bill Clinton: Is Dorothy around?
17. “Frightened? Child, you’re talking to a man who’s laughed in the face of death, sneered at doom, and chuckled at catastrophe. I was petrified.” The Wizard of Oz 
18. What did the Scarecrow say when the Wicked Witch knocked the stuffing out of him?… “That’s the last straw!” 
19. The Tin Man’s favorite type of music?… Heavy metal.
20. What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries. 
21. Who made Dorothy fall asleep in the poppy field?… The Wicked Witch of the Rest. 
22. Dorothy, years after Oz, recounting her adventures to her grandchildren, smiles warmly “When I was your age, I murdered a woman and stole her shoes.” 
23. Instead of Traveling to Oz, the Tin Man, the Lion, and The Scarecrow should run for Congress… As they lack a heart, mind, and courage.  
24. What did Dorothy say when she wanted to go to Italy?… “There’s no place like Rome! There’s no place like Rome!” 
25. What does a barber use in Oz?… The Scissors of Oz. 
26. What is Dorthy’s favorite song?… TinMan by America.
27. Who visits the Munchkins on Christmas?… The Wizard of Claus. 
28. How did the Munchkins communicate?… In Yellow Brick Code. 
29. What relative did Dorothy meet at the Emerald City?… Auntie Gem. 
30. After a night of camping the Lone Ranger woke to see his tent blown away by a tornado. He declared, “Tonto, we’re not in canvas anymore.” 
31. How did the Lollipop Guild travel in Munchkinland?…  Down the Yellow Lick Road. 
32. Why did Dorothy get lost in Oz?… She had three men giving her directions. 
33. Where does Dorothy from Oz weigh a pie?… Somewhere over the rainbow, weigh-a-pie!  Kansas WizardofOz movies pies rainbows
34. HappyHolidays & MerryChristmas @AlaskaAir! What did Dorothy say when she wanted to go to Alaska?… “There’s no place like Nome! There’s no place like Nome!”
35. Who was called after Dorothy smashed the Wicked Witch of the East?… A witch doctor. 
36. What did the Munchkins say as Dorothy left Munchkinland?… “Drop in again sometime.” 
37. What’s the difference between ChristopherColumbus and the Scarecrow  from the Wizard of Oz?… One left his Spain behind and the other left his brain behind. 
38. What do you get when you melt the Wizard of Oz?… The wizard of fl.oz. 
39. Who cut down all the trees in Munchkinland?… The Wizard of Saws. 
40. HappyNewYear @RoySocChem @nationalmoleday What are the moles’ favorite line from the WizardofOz?… “I’m mole-ting, i’m mole-ting.”
41. “Orders are nobody can see the Great Oz! Not nobody, not nohow!” Doorman 
42. “That, my dear, is a ‘horse of a different color.’” Carriage Driver 
43. Why does the Tin Man never play hide and seek with the Scarecrow?… He’s too easy to spot in the field! 
44. Why did Dorothy scream?… Because the Tin Man stepped on her toto.  Kansas WizardofOz biology
45. What did the Munchkins sing after the Wicked Witch of the East stole their food and ate it?… “Ding, Dong, the Witch is fed…  WizardofOz movies
46. If the Wicked Witch went to the beach… would she just be called the Sand Witch?
47. Where did Dorothy slip and fall down?… On the Yellow Slick Road!  dads movies WizardofOz moms
48. What did the Munchkins become when a house landed on them?… Crunchkins.  WizardofOz movies
49. I saw a magician who could make anything weigh exactly 28.3 grams. His stage name is “The Wizard of Oz.”  WizardofOz movies magic
50. Only an American could have written The Wizard of Oz… Anywhere else, he’d be The Wizard of 28g.  dads movies WizardofOz moms
51. Who did Dorothy visit when she cut herself?… The Wizard of Gauze!  WizardofOz movies nurse nursing
52. The WizardofOz  Movie Review: Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.  movies 
53. We love @cerave @soapcentral! Which of Dorothy’s friends had to have his mouth washed out with soap?… The Swearcrow of Oz.  dads movies WizardofOz moms
54. What did Dorothy cut herself with?… The Scissors of Oz!  dads movies WizardofOz moms
55. What happened when a tornado sucked up Toto and the Cowardly Lion?… It rained cats and dogs.  dads movies WizardofOz moms
56. Did Judy Garland ever figure out how much a pie weighs?… Apparently, somewhere over the rainbow you can weigh a pie. 
57. What kid in the Emerald City got the best grades in school?… The Wizard of A’s. 
58. Who made the yellow slick road slippery?… The Wizard of Ooze.  dads movies WizardofOz moms
59. Who gave the WizardofOz warts?…The Yellow Brick Toad.  dads movies moms frogs toads
60. What did Dorothy sing after she slipped?… “Somewhere over the sprained toe!”
61. Why did the Munchkins burn down Dorthy’s house?… Because they wanted to give her a housewarming.
62. What has wings but can’t fly, sticks its head in the sand, and takes Munchkins for rides?… Oztriches.
63. How did the tornado damage Dorothy’s home?… It blew it up.
64. What part of Kansas did Toto come from?… To-topeka.
65. Where did Dorothy travel when she wanted to make friends?… Down the Hello Brick Road.
66. Did the tornado excite Dorothy?… Yeah, she got carried away.
67. What did the Munchkins eat for dessert?… The Jello Brick Road.
68. Who lives in the Emerald City part of the time and in space the rest of the time?… Oztronauts.
69. What did Dorothy wear when she was tired?…. Ruby Sleepers.
70. Where did the Oztronauts land their rockets?…. On Ozteroids. 
71. Was Dorothy a good actress?… Yes, she brought the house down.
72. Where do you go to weigh a pie?… Somewhere, over the rainbow.
73. Who in Oz makes friends with lions but kills bulls?… Matadorothy.
74. Who follows Matadorothy around?… A To-toreador.
75. What do you have when you have 16 copies of the Wizard of Oz?… The Wizard of Lb.
76. What is the To-toreador?… He’s a bulldog.
77. What cleaned all the garbage out of Kansas?… A janitor-nado.
78. Who kept throwing garbage at Dorothy and her friends?… The Wicked Witch of the Waste.
79. How do old people get around in Oz?… They use Munch-canes.
80. What kind of trees grow in the Emerald City?… Evergreens.
81. Which of Dorothy’s friends had spent a lot of time out in the sun?… The Tan Woodsman of Oz.
82. What place in Oz has the most plants?… The Emerald City. It’s full of greenhouses.
83. What grows best in the greenhouses?… Green vegetables.
84. What’s the Tinman’s head filled with?… Gela-tin.
85. What hopped along beside Dorothy as she traveled through Oz?… Totoads.
86. Why did Dorothy and her friends hate the tin woodsman in the morning?… Because he liked to get up oily. 
87. What part of Dorothy’s house spun round and round during the tornado?… the house-top.
88. What did the Wicked Witch of the East eat ice cream in?… Munch-cones.
89. What did Dorothy say when she walked into the circus tent?… “Lions and Tigers and Chairs, oh my!”
90. What would you get if you smashed Toto?… A totortilla.
91. What did Dorothy wear when she was thirsty?… Ruby Sippers.
92. Who did Dorothy run into when winter came?… The Blizzard of Oz.
93. Who saved Dorothy from getting lost in the blizzard?… Ozkimos.
94. What did Dorothy ride on during the blizzard?… Toto-boggans.
95. Who made the Blizzard of Oz go away?… The Wizard of Thaws.
96. What brought the Lullaby League to Munchkinland?… A snore-nado.
97. Which of Dorothy’s friends looked like a box?… The Squarecrow of Oz.
98. Who was the Squarecrow’s best friend?… The Cowardly Line.
99. Who kept trying to make Dorothy trip and fall?… The Wicked Ditch of the West.
100. What did the Tin Man say after he fell into a fire?… “I’m molten! molten!”
101. What did the Tin Man say when he chopped down a tree?… “Tin—Ber!”
102. What’s the best kind of house to hit a witch with?… A clubhouse.
103. Who was the kindest of Dorothy’s friends?… The Carecrow of Oz.
104. What did Dorothy have on her arm?… A Toto tattoo.
105. Who were the first residents of Oz?… The Oztecs.
106. Who did Dorothy meet in the desert?…. The Lizard of Oz.
107. I’m working on a “rock opera” adaptation of The Wizard of Oz that would employ the songs and sounds of the best British artists, including the Rolling Stones, Jessie Ware, Mumford & Sons, the Verve, David Bowie, and Radiohead… It’s called “Mum-Ware Stone-Verve the Rade-Bow.”
108. What’s the yellow brick road paved with?… Ozphalt.
109. What did the eyewitnesses say when they saw Dorothy get in an automobile accident?…. “Come out, come out, wherever you are, and meet the young lady who fell from a car.”
110. Who kept making Dorothy scratch herself?… The Wicked Itch of the West.
111. What insect did Dorothy see in the tornado?… A housefly.
112. What did the Munchkins sing after the good witch turned the Wicked Witch of the West into a dinner roll?… “Ding, Dong, the Witch is bread…”
113. What did Dorothy’s dog sit on when he got tired?… Totoadstools.
114. What did the Munchkins tell Dorothy to do if she got hungry?… “Swallow the Yellow Brick Road.”
115. Who always told Dorothy the wrong time?… The Wicked Watch of the West.
116. What’s the best way to blow up Toto?… With a Totorpedo.
117. Who did Toto want to chase while he was in Oz?… The Emerald Kitty.
118. How did Dorothy’s dog travel through Oz?… Incogni-toto.
119. Who did the Scarecrow visit when the wicked witch knocked the stuffing out of him?… The Wizard of Straws.
120. Who followed Dorothy around, waiting for her to die?… The Buzzard of Oz.
121. What did Dorothy’s dog wear when he went dancing?… A Toto tutu.
122. What would Dorothy’s dog wear if they went to Rome?… A Totoga.
123. What did Dorothy wear when she fed the pigs?… Ruby Sloppers.
124. What did Dorothy take when she had a headache?… Ozpirin.
125. What path in Oz plays beautiful music as you travel on it?… The Cello Brick Road.
126. Who did the Cowardly Lion visit when he got a thorn in his foot?… The Wizard of Paws.
127. What did Toto become when the Indians found him?… A Tototem pole.
128. Where did Dorothy go when she was in a hurry?… Down the Yellow Quick Road.
129. What did Dorothy say when she walked into a dark fruit orchard?… “Lions and Tigers and Pears, oh my!”
130. What did the wicked witch of the west put on their sandwiches?… Toto-matoes.
131. What did the Munchkins sing when the Wicked Witch of the East fell into her food processor?… “Ding, Dong, the Witch is shred…”
132. Why would the Wicked Witch of the East have made a good pet?… Because she was housebroken.
133. What did the Wicked Witch of the West eat for breakfast?… Totoast.
134. What did the wicked witch make Dorothy eat while she was in Oz?… Ozparagus.
135. What did the Wicked Witch of the East keep her food in?… Munch-cans.
136. What did the Wicked Witch of the East eat at noon?… Lunchkins.
137. And what did she drink?…  Punchkins.
138. Who kept telling the Wizard everything Dorothy did wrong?… The Wicked Snitch of the West.
139. What should you hold over your head if you want Dorothy to kiss you?…  Mistle-Toto.
140. Where was the Tinman born?… In Tin-buktu. 
141. “WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?” Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly:” I’ve come for some courage.” “NO PROBLEM!” says the Wizard. “WHO IS NEXT?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well………, I…….I think I need a brain.” “DONE” says the Wizard. “WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?” Up stepped George Bush sadly, “I’m told by the American people that I need a heart.” “I’VE HEARD IT’S TRUE!” says the Wizard. “CONSIDER IT DONE.” There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standing there, looking around, but doesn’t say a word. Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?” “Is Dorothy here?.”