Utah Jokes

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about Utah?
There’s that man in Utah that makes cheese all by himself… They call him the Provo Lone guy. (Cheese Jokes)
Utah, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
Did you know you can borrow cheese from the bank in Utah?… It’s called a Provo-loan. (Cheese Jokes)
What did the snow say to the Rocky Mountains?… I’ve got you covered. (Hiking Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each State)
Utah Pun: I want to take U-tah all the beautiful places.
Why did the Utah teacher jump into Salt Lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
What did The Great Salt Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in Utah)
Did you hear the joke about the Uinta Mountains?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & Utah Mountains)
What do you call a BYU student who is single?… Provolone. (Cheese Jokes)
Why doesn’t BYU want to be this year’s Cinderella team?… Because the school considers the movie to be inappropriate. (Movie Jokes / Disney Jokes / Cinderella Jokes / Utah Jokes)
Utah Pun: If you haven’t been to Utah yet, Bryce yourself — it’s beautiful.
A couple in Utah had a baby… Now their population is 147! (Baby Jokes)
Utah Pun: This state is be-Utah-ful!
A man dies at the Arizona, Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah border… He had to have four coroners. (Cemetery Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for each state)
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Utah. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Utah! (Teacher Jokes)
A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Utah plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
What runs but never goes out of breath?… The San Juan River! (Ten Longest Rivers in Utah)
Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Utah Resident: “No, not yet.”
Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Utah Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
Utah Pun: Bryce, Bryce, baby! (365 Music Jokes)
Utah Pun: Utah’s beauty is rock solid! (Geology Jokes)
A Utah man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $76,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
What is the tallest building in?… Utah Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
Where do Utah elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
Can you name the capital of Utah?… “U.”
Utah Pun: Utah rocks! (Geology Jokes)
Utah Pun: Don’t get salt-y when I tell you Utah is the best state!
What do you call a dishonest cat at Utah’s Hogle Zoo?… Lion. (Zoo Jokes)
Utah Pun: Are Utah-lking to me? (Movie Jokes)
Why can’t the Uinta Mountains and the La Sal Mountains play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak.
What did Utah see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
Why is a Paria River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Utah Turnpike! (Car Jokes)
Speaking of driving… Utah roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive. (Car Jokes)
Utah Pun: I don’t say this Ogden, but Utah is the best.
Utah Pun: Getting out in nature is free: the Bryce is right!
It is in the news, Utah had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
Utah Pun: I checked out some old volcanoes in Utah; it was lava at first sight! (Volcano Jokes)
Utah Pun: Utah’s great if Uinta mountains!
A retired Utah man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes & Retirement Jokes)
Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Utah?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Utah?
Utah Pun: How well do you know Utah’s geography — have U-taught yourself well?
Why won’t any of Utah’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
What is a Utah clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Colorado River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Utah)
What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Green River!
In the news, Utah had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Bear River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
If a plane crashed on the borders of Utah and Arizona where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
How many Utah men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Utah has any cents.
Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
Utah Pun: Bryce to meet you, Utah!
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Utah knock-knock joke?
Utah Pun: Have I told you that U-tah best?
Utah Pun: Canyon-believe these lands?
How do you know you’re in front of a Utah firing squad?… They are standing in a circle.
Utah Pun: Have you seen the mountains in Utah?… They’re really massif!
Utah Pun: I don’t have to Provo my love for Utah to you!
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Utah knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
Utah Pun: The way I speak, U-tah think there’s no better place on earth.
Utah Pun: There’s no de-Zion, Utah is heaven on earth!
Utah Pun: I’m Zion over these views!
Utah Pun: You better Watchman, Zion sunsets are epic!
Utah Pun: Arches you glad you’re in Utah?
Why do BYU students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
Utah Pun: Moab money, Moab problems!
Utah Pun: Salt Lake Pretty!
Utah Pun: Hoodoo you think you are?
Utah Pun: Wasatch your back in the mountains!
How do you get a Utah State grad off your front porch?… Pay him for the pizza.
What did the Utah State Aggie get on his SAT?… Drool.
How many Utah State freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
What do you call an intelligent person in Maverick Stadium?… A visitor.
Where does Florida come before Utah?… The dictionary! (Grammar Jokes & Florida Jokes)
Where do Utah middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
Where do Utah high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
Why did the Utah teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
What do you get when you crossbreed Utah State football and a groundhog?… Six more weeks of bad football! s
Why did the Utah teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
Why did the Utah teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
I’m not saying Utah Utes basketball players are dumb, but the coach is dressing six players for this Saturday’s game. The rest will dress themselves.
Starting a Chippendales club in Utah, guess what it’s going to be called?… “MOR-MEN.”
What’s the difference between the Utah Utes football team and a dollar bill?… You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
I’d give my right arm… to stay in a canyon in Utah for 127 hours.
Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Utah?… Because Utah drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from Utah’s Hogle Zoo. (Zoo Jokes)
How do the zebras at the Utah’s Hogle Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
What do you call a dishonest cat at the Utah’s Hogle Zoo?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
Why won’t any of Utah’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
In what state does the Green River flow?… Liquid. (Utah Lakes & Rivers)
What is a Mount Zion’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes / Utah Mountains / Candy Jokes)
Over the summer, Utah is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 118°F… NOT cool. (Summer Jokes & Heat Wave Jokes)
Speaking of driving… Utah roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive.
Over the winter, Utah is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -70°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
Why is a Snake River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
What did Utah see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
In the news, Utah had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
A Utah man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
Why can’t Kings Peak and Mount Timpanogos play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Oregon Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
How many Utah men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Utah has any cents.
Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Utah?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
What is an Utah cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
A retired Utah man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
What does the average Utah high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
Why do Utah students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Utah to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
Utah: America hates us because America ain’t us.
Utah: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
How do you get a man in Utah to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Utah.
How many Utah State freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
Utah: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother! (Skiing Jokes)
Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Utah Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Utah to use their turn signal… I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Utah Resident: “No, not yet.”
Divorced couples in Utah are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
What do you call the 2014 event between two cities that legalized marijuana?… The Super Bowl.
Yes, marijuana is legal in Utah… now leaf the jokes alone.
What does the average Utah State University student get on his SAT?… Drool.
I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now Utah. I live in Utah.
A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good Utah joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from Utah. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from Utah, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from Utah, too! Now, do you still want to tell your Utah joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
A man for Utah came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Say, don’t you still have them big red trucks?”
What did Ibantik Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (Utah Lakes & Rivers)
What is the tallest building in?… Utah Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Utah Turnpike!
Where do a fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Colorado River. (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Colorado River!
What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Colorado River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
If a plane crashed on the borders of Utah and Colorado where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Utah. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in Utah! (Teacher Jokes)
Did you hear the joke about Mount Zion?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes)
Utah, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
A couple in Utah had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Baby Jokes)
A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Utah plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Utah Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)

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