Texas Jokes

by | Mar 30, 2020 | College, Dads, Latest News | 0 comments

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Google Search “Texas Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Texas jokes.
  2. Why was the delegation from the Dallas Dyslexic Republican Association turned away from the Republican National Convention?… Their placard read: ‘We love Taxes.’
  3. What is the Texas state slogan?… Oils Well that ends well
  4. My friend asked me what I thought about the state North of Texas… I told him it’s OK! (Oklahoma Jokes)
  5. What does a Texas Rancher call his cow with no legs?… Ground beef!
  6. What did the Texan say every time he ordered apple pie at a restaurant?… Remember the à la mode! (Ice Cream Jokes)
  7. What’s a Texan’s favorite salad dressing?… Ranch!
  8. Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?… He wanted to get a long little doggie!
  9. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Rio Grande (10 Longest Rivers in Texas)
  10. Where in America should you go to feel good about yourself and life?… Fort Worth, Texas!
  11. The waitress brought me the wrong order at Texas Road House, and I told her it was a Miss Steak. She shook her head, sighed, and told me, “Steak jokes are a rare, medium, and well done.”
  12. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state flower of [state]?
  13. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe the state bird of [state]?
  14. What did the big yellow rose of Texas say to the little yellow rose of Texas?… “Hi, bud!”
  15. I have so many failed relationships. The one good thing…. All my ex’s live in Texas.
  16. I just bought an art piece featuring several Pikachus playing Texas Hold’em… It’s called Pokermon. 
  17. 2025 March Madness Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name site of the 2025 Final Four? (San Antonio, Texas)
  18. Everything’s bigger in Texas… including the punchlines!
  19. What do you call a Texan bandit who loves BBQ?… The Brisket Bandito.
  20. 2025 March Madness Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the 2025 teams that advanced to Final Four in San Antonio, Texas?? (#1 Duke, #1 Florida,
  21. Why do Texas golfers always carry around two pairs of pants?… In case he got a hole-in-one
  22. Where can you message people while driving?… Text-us.
  23. Texas refuses to remove its statues… Hurricane volunteers to help. 
  24. Can you name the capital of Texas?… “T”
  25. Why don’t Texans like small talk?… Because if it isn’t a tall tale, it isn’t worth telling.
  26. What does a fish from Texas say when he sees his friend?… “Chowdy!”
  27. Texas: We’re in Houston, so don’t call us… Just Texas!
  28. Why don’t Texans ever tell secrets?… Because in Texas, everything’s out in the open — including our BBQ recipes!
  29. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Texas?
  30. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Texas knock-knock joke?
  31. Why did the Texas farmer win an award?… He was outstanding in his field!
  32. Texans don’t do breakfast; we do brunch with a side of BBQ!
  33. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Texas knock knock jokes?
  34. Why shouldn’t people from Texas be allowed to drive?… Because they’re always Texan and driving.
  35. Why is Texas called the Lone Star State?… Because that’s the highest rating it could get.
  36. What did Lake Texoma say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved.
  37. What’s Texas’ favorite season?… Summer, even if it lasts all year.
  38. What’s a Texan’s favorite time of day?… High noon — guns out, sun out.
  39. What’s a Texan’s favorite drink?… High noons.
  40. Why do Texans love sunrises?… Because it means the world has one more day to see how great Texas is.
  41. Why do Texans carry pocket knives?… Because you never know when you’ll need to slice a brisket.
  42. How do you tell if someone is from Texas?… They’ll tell you so you won’t have to.
  43. How many Texans does it take to change a lightbulb?… Just one, but they’ll tell you how they did it bigger and better than anyone else.
  44. Why did the Texan go to art school?… To learn how to draw a crowd!
  45. In Texas, we don’t do small talk… we do large conversations!
  46. What do you call a bear with a Texas accent?… A Tex-bear!
  47. Why don’t Texans complain about the heat?… Because it’s a perfect excuse for another cold one.
  48. What did the Texan say to the space alien?… “Welcome to Earth, y’all!”
  49. Why did the Texan bring a ladder to the bar?… He heard the drinks were on the house!
  50. How does a Texan order a steak?… Rare — because they like their cows to still be mooing.
  51. Why do Texans drive so fast?… Because it takes half a day just to get anywhere!
  52. What do you call a Texas cow that can play the guitar?… A moosician!
  53. Why don’t Texans play hide and seek?… Because good luck hiding with a hat that big!
  54. Why do Texans love cowboy boots?… Because flip-flops just don’t say “Don’t mess with Texas.”
  55. Why did the Texas musician break up with their guitar?… It just wasn’t country enough!
  56. Why don’t Texans ever argue?… Because they settle their beef on a grill.
  57. Why do Texans like their steaks rare?… Because they like a little bit of a fight left in it.
  58. How do you recognize a Texan at the beach?… They’re the ones in cowboy hats and boots.
  59. Why do Texans love space?… Because it’s just one more thing that’s bigger in Texas.
  60. How do Texans make sure they don’t get lost?… They follow the BBQ smoke.
  61. How do you know someone is from Texas?… Don’t worry, they’ll tell you.
  62. What do you call a Texan lost in New York?… Overdressed.
  63. What’s a Texan’s favorite romantic gesture?… Bringing home a bouquet of ribs.
  64. Why are Texan cookouts so epic?… Because Texans don’t grill, they have full-on barbecues.
  65. Why did the Texan get a new belt buckle?… Because his old one was only visible from space, not the whole galaxy.
  66. How do you keep a Texan occupied for hours?… Tell them there’s free BBQ down the road — but don’t say where.
  67. Texas is the only place where you can get a sunburn and frostbite in the same week!
  68. How can you spot a tourist in Texas?… They’re the only ones wearing sunscreen.
  69. Why do Texans bring a rope everywhere?… Never know when you’ll need to lasso up some trouble.
  70. How do you know the state bird of Texas is the mosquito?… Try standing outside at night.
  71. Why don’t Texans need alarm clocks?… Because a rooster’s crow at sunrise and the scent of BBQ does the job.
  72. Why don’t Texans need hot tubs?… Because their pools are already warm enough.
  73. What do Texans use to measure temperature?… Barbecue degrees.
  74. Why don’t Texans play hide and seek?… Because there’s no hiding in 100-degree weather.
  75. Why don’t Texans ever travel light?… Because everything they own has to be bigger and better!
  76. Why did the Texan take an umbrella to the desert?… To keep the brisket dry!
  77. What do you call a Texas snowman?… A puddle.
  78. Why do Texas cows wear bells?… Because their horns don’t work!
  79. In Texas, a traffic jam is just a long line of pickup trucks waiting for BBQ!
  80. Why do Texans wear big hats?… Because the shade has to be as big as the sun.
  81. How does a Texan cool off?… They stand in the shade of their hat.
  82. What’s a Texan’s favorite winter activity?… Waiting for it to end.
  83. Why did the Texan put on sunscreen at night?… To be ready for the morning heat.
  84. How does a Texan survive summer?… They don’t, they just endure it.
  85. Why did the Texan sit in a tree during a rainstorm?… He heard there was a chance of “fowl” weather.
  86. Why do Texans wear boots in the summer?… Because they’re not afraid of the heat!
  87. How do you tell if a Texan is cold?… They’re wearing two hats.
  88. In Texas, we don’t need GPS… we have the stars to guide us!
  89. Why did the Texan wear a jacket?… Because it was below 85 degrees.
  90. How do Texans deal with mosquitoes?… With a little slap and a lot of sass.
  91. Why don’t Texans play hide and seek?… Because good luck hiding when everyone knows you’re a mile away!
  92. Did you hear about the power outage at the Texas Tech University library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
  93. When it rains in Texas, we just call it a “light drizzle” and keep the BBQ going!
  94. Texans can’t get lost… they just take the scenic route to their destination!
  95. What do you get when you cross a Texas ranger and a cowboy?… A lawman who can lasso your heart!
  96. What’s a Texan’s favorite instrument?… The barbecue pit!
  97. Why do Texas golfers always carry around two shirts?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  98. Why do Texas golfers always carry around two pairs of socks?… In case he got a hole-in-one.
  99. Why did the Texan sit on his clock?… He wanted to be on time!
  100. What has a mouth but cannot eat?…. Rio Grande (10 Longest Rivers in Texas)
  101. 2025 March Madness Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 100 Texas jokes?
  102. 2025 March Madness Jokes: Knock Knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe believe we have 101 Texas jokes?

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