Shark Jokes for Kids

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best shark jokes.
If you thought swimming with dolphins was expensive, you should try swimming with sharks …. It cost me an arm and a leg! (Swimming Jokes & Dolphin Jokes)
I would like to see a Great White shark before I die… But not right before I die. (Cemetery Jokes)
Summer PSA: A friendly reminder: Sharks live in the ocean… Year-round. (Ocean Jokes)
How can you tell if two sharks are friends?… They act chummy with one another. (Fishing Jokes)
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Cape Cod Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
Where did the whale go when it was bankrupt?… To the loan shark. (Whale Jokes)
Where are sharks from?… Finland. (Geography Jokes)
What did the shark say to the marlin at prom?… Lookin’ Sharp. (Prom Jokes)
Why are some sharks hard to trust?… They tell great white lies.
Summer PSA: Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean. (Movie Jokes)
What was the marine biologist’s kid’s excuse for not having his homework?… “My shark ate it!” (180 School Jokes)
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?… Do not consume if seal is broken! (Seal Jokes)
A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.” The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …” “Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.” (Pirate Jokes)
Which sharks would you find at a construction site?… Hammerhead sharks.
What is a shark’s favorite song?… Fins by Jimmy Buffett. (Music Jokes)
What did the hammerhead’s boss say when he did a good job?… “You nailed it!” (Labor Day Jokes)
The shark is out of work right now, but don’t worry… he’s collecting workers chomp. (Labor Day Jokes)
Vending machines kill more people than sharks… I’ve never even seen a shark use a vending machine. (Junk Food Jokes)
Three things I want to do before I die: #1 Swim next to a Great White Shark…. (Cemetery Jokes)
There’s a little-known but foolproof defense against sharks… Sharks will only attack you if you’re wet.
Why did the shark get sent to jail?… He was involved with some fishy business. (Police Jokes & Fishing Jokes)
What did the shark get on his marine biology test?… A sea-plus. (Biology Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
Where do lonely sharks go to find companionship?… Sand Bars. (Beer Jokes)
A prospective businessman enters the Shark Tank. Shark 1: What’s your business idea? Businessman: Ridiculously wide sunglasses. Shark 1: I’m out. Shark 2: I’m out. Hammerhead shark: Tell me more.
Did you hear about the surfer who lost his left arm and left leg in a shark attack… he is all right now. (Surfing Jokes)
What do sharks order at McDonalds?… A quarter flounder with cheese! (Fast Food Jokes & Cheese Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption! (Movie Jokes)
What do you call a shark that can’t stop singing “U Cant Touch This?”… An M.C. Hammerhead. (Music Jokes)
Which kind of sharks do you find in heaven?… Angel sharks. (Cemetery Jokes)
What was the shark’s favorite James Joyce novel?… FINnegan’s wake! (St. Patrick’s Day Jokes & Book Jokes)
What is a shark’s favorite song?… No-fin compares to you by Sinead O’Connor. (365 Music Jokes)
Why didn’t the shark want to fight the octopus?… Because he knew he was well-armed! (Octopus Jokes)
The star attraction at my local aquarium has been repossessed… Turns out it was a loan shark! (U.S Aquariums)
What did the shark get on his marine biology test?… A sea-minus. (Biology Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
What sort of fish operates on a sick shark?… A sturgeon! (Doctor Jokes)
What is even scarier to pirates than sharks?… Plank-ton. (Pirate Jokes)
How do you make a shark laugh?… Tell a whale of a tale. (Whale Jokes)
Shark Pun: Go ahead and mako my day. (Movie Jokes)
Shark Pun: You’re skating on fin ice, pal…
What do sharks use before attacking surfers?… Sun Scream. (Surfing Jokes)
How does a hammerhead shark tell his mom he passed his test?… Nailed it! (180 School Jokes)
I told a friend that I was attacked by a shark the other day. He asked, “Did you punch it on the nose?” “No,” I said, “The shark started it for no reason!”
Why is a seal with just one fin safe to swim in shark infested waters?… Like everyone else, sharks know that if the seal is broken the food isn’t safe to consume!
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Otto… Otto who?… Otto be careful of sharks.
I was at the beach today when I saw a man in the sea yelling, “Help, shark! Help!”… I just laughed and laughed. I knew that shark wouldn’t help him.
Shark Pun: Sharks that steal always mako like a bandit.
How do sharks start their day?… They drink jaw-va. (Coffee Jokes)
Did you hear about the shark ghost?… It vanished into fin air! (Magic Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
Shark Pun: No wonder that shark doesn’t have any friends—it’s a loan shark.
Why did the shark cross the reef?… To get to the other tide!
What kind of shark is always gambling?… A card shark.
What candy must a shark with braces avoid?… Jaw-breakers! (Dentist Jokes & Candy Jokes)
I was at the beach the other day when I saw a man swimming in the sea despite the warning signs about the shark-infested waters. He got attacked and lost a leg… I bet he’s kicking himself now! (Swimming Jokes)
I went to a Halloween party dressed as a shark…. The novelty is wearing a little fin! (Halloween Jokes)
Why do sharks have teeth?… For eating porpoises. (Dolphin Jokes)
What do sharks do when they have a big choice to make?… Chews wisely!
What did one shark say to the other after eating a clown fish?… “Not only does it look funny, but it tastes funny too.”
If you watch Jaws backwards it’s the heartwarming story of a shark that helps disabled people put their lives back together. (Movie Jokes)
Why can’t most sharks read?… They are not part of a school. (365 Teacher Jokes)
I once told someone I had a half brother They said “Oh different mother or different father?” And I said “Neither, there was a shark attack”
A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would be all come down to who is the better cyclist. (Triathalon Jokes)
What are a shark’s two most favorite words?… Man overboard. (Grammar Jokes)
What do a shark and a computer have in common?… They both have megabites! (Computer Jokes)
How did the crazy shark become normal again?… electro shark therapy. (Psychology Jokes)
What did the shark plead in court?… Gill-ty. (Lawyer Jokes)
Where do country singing sharks try to make it big?… Gnashville. (Tennessee Jokes)
Who gives sharks presents on Christmas?… Santa Jaws! (Christmas Jokes)
What do you call two sharks who get married?… Hooked for life. (Wedding Jokes)
A new study shows sharks only bite those who swim in the ocean… Researchers advise not swimming there. (Swimming Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
So we took our new dog to the beach today… I realize now it was not a good idea to name him Shark. (Dog Jokes)
I’m beginning to think deciding to call my dog “Shark” was a big mistake… I’ve been banned from all my local beaches! (Dog Jokes)
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight?… Because the octopus was well armed. (Octopus Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
What was the shark jazz musician’s favorite illegal substance?… Reefer! (365 Music Jokes)
In the sea world, what’s it called when one thing makes something else happen?… Jaws and effect. (Psychology Jokes)
What did the deaf, dumb and blind shark excel at?… Finball. (365 Music Jokes)
My friend challenged me to write a joke about hammerhead sharks… Pretty sure I nailed it.
What happened when the shark got famous?… He became a starfish!
What’s a shark’s favorite TV show?… Shark Tank!
What’s a shark’s favorite word to say in agreement?… De-fin-itely. (Grammar Jokes)
What advice did the dad shark give his son?… Go take a bite out of life! (Dad Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite card game?… Go fish. (Fishing Jokes)
What did the shark say to the whale?… What are you blubbering about? (Whale Jokes)
If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?… Loch Jaws! (Movie Jokes)
On one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at Seaworld. On the other h. . . AARGH!!! (Labor Day Jokes)
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party I’ve gone as a shark… The joke’s wearing fin!
What song do sharks sing while they hunt for food?… Don’t Stop Bleedin’! (Music Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite bible story?… Noah’s Shark.
Who’s a shark’s favorite Star Wars character?… Chewbacca. (Star Wars Jokes)
What is a shark’s favorite sandwich?… A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich. (Sandwich Jokes)
What do sharks have on their toast?… Mermalaid. (Mermaid Jokes)
Why wasn’t the woman afraid when she saw a shark while she was swimming in the water?… Because it was a man-eating shark! (Swimming Jokes)
Did you hear about the psychic shark?… It can sea into the future!
That shark sure is athletic… he’s been working on his a-gil-ity!
Who is the most famous shark writer?… William Sharkspeare! (Book Jokes)
Where’s the first place the shark visited in Europe?… Finland. (World Geography Jokes)
What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim away. (Swimming Jokes)
Did you hear about the musician who borrowed money from a loan shark?… He’s in a whole lot of treble. (365 Music Jokes)
What do you call an acrobat in shark-infested waters?… A balanced breakfast. (Breakfast Jokes)
What do sharks working in fast food tell customers?… Chumming right up. (Fast Food Jokes)
Who is the shark community’s favorite 1950s film actor?… Shark Hudson. (Movie Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite meal?… Fish and ships.
Tiger sharks will eat anything and everything…. Especially people who use the ocean as a bathroom.
What did the female shark say to the male shark on their first date?… Get your jaws off of me!
A computer scientist was once offered the opportunity to feed a shark… He turned it down, because he did not want to RISC losing his ARM. (Computer Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Kelp… Kelp who?… Kelp me! There’s a shark.
Did you hear about the all-star shark athlete?… He led his team to the chompionship!
What’s a shark’s favorite breakfast food?… A jellyfish filled donut. (Donut Jokes)
What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between a great white’s shark teeth?… Slow swimmers. (Swimming Jokes)
What did the pirate shark sing with his crew?… “Yo ho ho and a bottle of chum!” (Pirate Jokes)
What type of sharks do carpenters like?… The hammerhead and saw shark.
Shark Pun: Who’s the best baseball shark around?… Shark McGwire. (Baseball Jokes)
What did one shark say to the other shark?… There’s some-fin special about you! (101 Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What do you get when you cross Frosty the Snowman with a shark?… Frost bite! (Frosty the Snowman Jokes)
Why are sharks so patriotic?… They are marine fish. (Marine Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Butter… Butter who?… Butter be quick, the shark is coming. (Butter Jokes)
What did the shark get on his biology test?… A sea-minus. (Biology Jokes & 180 School Jokes)
What is a Great White shark’s favorite kind of sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish! (Sandwich Jokes)
Shark Pun: Come to the shark side… (Star Wars Jokes)
Shark Pun: Where’s my bloody dinner?
News just in of a honeymooner killed in a shark attack off the Perth Coast. The man had been married very recently… A police spokesman said “Fortunately the man did not suffer too much as he had only been married 5 days.” (Marriage Jokes)
How did they know the victim of the shark attack had dandruff?… They found her head and shoulders on the beach. (Barber Jokes)
What was the nerd shark’s favorite programming language?… Jaw-va. (Computer Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite song?… “Don’t Stop Be-reef-ing” (365 Music Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about sharks?
How did the hammerhead do on the math exam?… He nailed it. (Math Jokes)
Where do country music-loving sharks go?… Gnashville! (Tennessee Jokes)
Did you hear about the shark magician?… For his last trick, he vanished into fin air! (Ghost Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good shark knock-knock joke?
What’s a baby shark’s favorite nursery rhyme?… Jack and Gill. (Baby Jokes)
Why do sharks live in salt water?… Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
How do sharks stay up all night?… They drink jaw-va. (Coffee Jokes)
What did the momma shark say to the kid shark?… Watch that sharkasm, young man. (Mom Jokes)
How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready?… “Hot off the gill!”
What does a hammerhead shark call a headache?… A hammering head. (Doctor Jokes)
Shark Pun: You’ve got me between a rock and a shark place. (Geology Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite science fiction TV show?… Shark Trek! (Star Trek Jokes)
What does a shark eat for dinner?… Whatever it wants!
There’s a lot of debate over where the best place to punch a shark is… Personally, I think it’s the sea. (Boxing Jokes)
If a shark approached you at sea, you can gently push it away only twice… Once with each hand. (Ocean Jokes)
Shark Pun: That shark attack really made a splash in the headlines, huh?
Why don’t sharks like fast food?… Because they can’t catch it! (Fast Food Jokes)
Where do sharks go to summer camp?… Finland! (Summer Camp for Kids)
What’s a shark’s favorite food?… A jellyfish filled donut. (Donut Jokes)
What is a shark’s favorite game?… Swallow the leader! (Shark Jokes for Kids)
What was the shark’s favorite movie?… Eating Nemo! (Movie Jokes)
What do yuppie sharks like to drink?… Jaw-va. (Coffee Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite coffee shop?… Shark-bucks. (Coffee Jokes)
What does a snow shark give you?… Frost bites. (Winter Jokes & Snow Day Jokes)
What did the shark say to the surfer?… Come on in, the water’s fine! (Surfing Jokes)
What did one shark say to the other after an awkward moment?… Whale, that was weird. (Whale Jokes)
Why do great white sharks chase after Superman in the ocean?… Because he has a seal on his chest. (Superman Jokes)
Shark Pun: There’s no-fin I wouldn’t do for you.
What was the sharks favorite B-52s song?… Love Shark. (365 Music Jokes)
How do you throw a shark out of a bar?… You cast it out. (Beer Jokes)
What is the Great White Shark’s favorite candy?… The Jaw-Breaker! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
What did the shark say when something amazing happened?… JAWESOME!
Who’s Iron Man’s alter-ego in the sea world?… Tony Shark. (Movie Jokes)
Why do sharks not like oysters?… They’re shellfish.
What did the hammerhead shark say to his drinking buddies?… I’m hammered. (Beer Jokes)
What lie will a shark always tell a human?… I promise to take just one bite.
Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive?… You stop pretending!
What does a shark like to watch on TV?… Anything but Flipper! (Dolphin Jokes)
What happens when you cross a great white shark with a cow fish?… I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to milk it! (Cow Jokes & Milk Jokes)
What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?… As far away as possible.
How does a shark greet a fish?… Pleased to eat you! (Fishing Jokes)
Why did the shark cross the great barrier reef?… To get to the other TIDE. (Ocean Jokes)
What did the shark plead in the murder case?… Not gill-ty! (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
What does a dentist say to his shark patients?… Let’s see those chompers. (Dentist Jokes)
Where do sharks go on to summer camp?… Finland! (World Geography Jokes)
What did the great white shark say to the cliff jumper?… Don’t worry, I’ll catch you.
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?… “This tastes a little funny…”
What did the shark say to the spear fisherman?… Please, spear me the pain! (Fishing Jokes)
If a shark is after you, what should your feed it?… Jawbreakers! (Candy Jokes for Kids)
Which body part are mermaids scared of?… Jaws! (Movie Jokes)
How did the hammerhead shark do on his test?… He nailed it! (Jokes for Teachers)
Shark Pun: How do sharks greet one another?… Water you up to, mate?
What do you get when you cross a parrot with a shark?… An animal that talks your head off. (Bird Jokes)
What does a shark call a surfboard?… A serve board. (Surfing Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good shark knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
What happens when you cross a great white shark with a trumpet fish?… I don’t know…but I wouldn’t want to play it! (Music Jokes)
What sharks are the shortest?… Ground sharks.
How do sharks greet the day?… With the saying “time to rise and tide.” (Ocean Jokes)
What should you do if you see a shark?… Swim far, far away! (Swimming Jokes)
Sharks only attack because no one will look them straight in the eye.
What did the 18-year-old shark ask his parents when they kicked him out of the reef?… Why are you casting me out?
Would you rather kiss a shark or a jellyfish?… A jellyfish, that’s a no-brainer.
What did the Daddy shark say to the kid shark?… Watch that sharkasm, young man! (Dad Jokes)
If you see a tuna being chased by a dozen sharks what time is it?… Twelve after one. (Math Jokes for Kids)
What do you call a shark in a bad mood?… Grumpy gills.
How does a shark plead in court?… Gill-ty. (Police Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)
Female Shark: What do you want to dinner? Male Shark: Finny you should ask, I wanted to see if you’d like to catch a bite somewhere.
What’s a shark’s favorite game?… Hide and go eat.
What did the man say to his wife at the beach?… Let’s prey the sharks are sleeping while we’re swimming. (Napping Jokes)
What’s a shark’s favorite event to attend?… The carnival!
Shark Pun: Don’t trust sharks… they’ll spill your sea-crets.
What did the shark say when he bit the fishing line?… “I’m hooked!”
What’s a great white’s favorite tune?… Dun-uh. Dun-uh. Dun-u. (Music Jokes)
What did the shark say after eating a clown fish?… This tastes a little funny!
How does a shark family get a vacation started?… By setting the wheels in ocean. (Travel Guest Blogs)
Shark Pun: Stay jaws-itive.
Save a boat. Ride a shark. It’s more eco-friendly. (Earth Day Jokes)
Shark Pun: No-fin compares to you, dear.
What did the shark say to his wife during a fight?… You’re just being jaw-matic.
What did the shark say when he was accused of hitting his brother?… Not gill-ty! (Police Jokes)
What did the shark get when he traveled to the Arctic Ocean?… Frostbite.
What do fish like to dress up as for Halloween?… Goblin sharks.
What do you call a dapper shark?… So-fish-dicated.
Did you hear about the aquarium owner?… His shark was worse than his pike.
Shark Pun: Gangster shark to human: Shark my words, you’re a dead man.
What was the last word of the shark movie?… Fin.
How do sharks find things online?… They surf the fin-ternet.
Why was the shark so funny?… He had great shark-asm.
What do you call a fish that doesn’t have any friends?… A loan shark!
Shark Pun: What did the mom shark say to her mouthy son?… Don’t get sharky, son.
What types of sharks are the shadiest sharks?… Card sharks.
What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark?… Frost bite! (Snowman Jokes)
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark… When I woke up I realized it was just a bream!
What is a sharks favorite kinda sandwich?… Peanut butter and jellyfish! (Peanut Butter Jokes)
Shark Pun: This makome off as a surprise, but I don’t bite.
Shark Pun: There’s some-fin special about you.
Shark Pun: Stay jaw-some.
Shark Pun: Don’t de-bait me. You won’t win this bite.
Shark Pun: If you can be fin-tastic, always be fin-tastic.
What was the college student sharks favorite internet site?… Finsbook
Shark Pun: How does a shark express disappointment?… Jaw, man!
Shark Pun: There’s no-fin left to lose.
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter sandwiches?… Jellyfish. (Peanut Butter Jokes)
Who delivers Christmas presents to baby sharks?… Santa Jaws!
What do sharks eat for dessert?… Octo-pie. (Octopus Jokes)
Why does Cupid always make so much money at the casino?… Because he’s a Valentine’s Card Shark. (Funny Valentine’s Day Jokes)
Why did the shark throw his clock out the window?… He wanted to see time fly!
What type of shark do you find at a building site?… Hammerhead sharks!
What do you call a solitary shark?… A “lone” (loan) shark.
Hangry sharks make the worst ocean floaties.
Shark Pun: I chews you.
What kind of sharks make the best pog players?… Slammerheads!
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Otto… Otto who?… Otto be careful in the shark tank.
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Carmi… Carmi who?… Carmi get me from the shark.
What is a shark’s favorite smell?… Human blood.
What do sharks serve their guests at parties?… A sharkcuterie. (Cheese Jokes)
Did you know that geese kill more humans than sharks each year?… To be fair, it’s really hard for geese to kill sharks.
What do you call a shark that’s always singing?… A tuneful shark. (365 Music Jokes)
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?… Edward Scissorfins. (Movie Jokes)
What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?… Shark absorbers.
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?… Professional courtesy. (Lawyer Jokes)
I’ve just seen a huge killer fish singing and playing guitar in the city center… I think it must be a busking shark. (365 Music Jokes)
What is a shark attack survivor’s favorite coffee?… Half-caf. (Coffee Jokes)
I’ve just read that according to statistics, donkeys kill more people every year than sharks… I’d better watch my ass.
What did the shark say to the plate of sushi?… Pleased to eat you!
What is the difference between a cucumber and a shark attack?… One is a pickle you can make, the other is a pickle you can’t escape. (Pickle Jokes)
Why can’t sharks play flutes properly?… Because they don’t have a tuna. (365 Music Jokes)
My friend is a real shark in the business world… He made a killing in Fin-Tech.
Why’d the fish swim right into the bull shark’s mouth?… He was a dumb bass. (Swimming Jokes)
Why do sharks eat underwater internet cables?…They were advised to have more fiber in their diet.
Did you hear about the pregnant woman bit by a shark?… She hopes it’s a buoy. (Baby Jokes)
Why do Crips like swimming in the ocean?… Because sharks can smell Blood from far away. (Swimming Jokes)
Did you hear about the lawyer who tried to sue a Chatham Great White Shark for biting all his limbs off?… He didn’t have a leg to stand on! (Cape Cod Jokes & Lawyer Jokes)

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