Pumpkin Jokes for Kids

by | Sep 7, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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More Pumpkin Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best pumpkin jokes.
  2. The World’s Largest Pumpkin fell on a local woman today… Reports say she was squashed
  3. What do pirates wear at autumn?… Pumpkin patches. (Pumpkin Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
  4. Orange you pumped for Halloween? (Crayon Jokes)
  5. What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink?… Pumpkin spy-ce latte. (Movie Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  6. What do you call a fall pop star?… Pumpkin Spice! (365 Music Jokes)
  7. What do you get when you divide the circumference of your jack-o-lantern by its diameter?… Pumpkin Pi. (Pi Day Jokes)
  8. What band do autumn vandals listen to?… The Smashing Pumpkins. (Pumpkin Jokes)
  9. A pumpkin says to a jack-o’-lantern “All we ever do is sit around on the stoop. Don’t you want to mix it up, try something different?” The jack-o’-lantern says “I don’t have the guts.”
  10. What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?… You’ll get autumn’y ache. (Fall Jokes & Pie Jokes)
  11. Where would you rate Smashing Pumpkins in your top 90’s bands?… For me, I’d rate them Less than Jake but Better than Ezra.(365 Music Jokes)
  12. In September, you pick me when I’m good and ready. In October, you cut me intentionally to make me look worse. In November, you trash me like you never knew me. What am I?… A Jack-o-Lantern for Halloween. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  13. What name did the pumpkins call the school bully?… Jerk-o-lantern. (Halloween Jokes for Teachers)
  14. What is a pumpkin’s favorite song?… Let’s Give ’em Pumpkin’ to Talk About by Bonnie Raitt.(365 Music Jokes)
  15. What do you call a pumpkin that can slam dunk a basketball?… Michael Gourdan. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  16. What’s a car’s favorite fall activity?… Pumpkin ‘car’ving! (Car Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  17. How did the baker describe the pumpkin pie?… It’s gourd-geous. (Pumpkin Jokes & Pie Jokes)
  18. Which pumpkins can swim the best?… The coast gourd. (Coast Guard Jokes & Swimming Jokes)
  19. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?… a life ghourd. (Summer Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
  20. In a farmers market, Farmer A sells pumpkins, Farmer B sells strawberries, what does Farmer C sell?… Medicine. (Doctor Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  21. How did the winter squash pay for things?… It used pumpkin bread. (Bread Jokes & Winter Jokes)
  22. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?… Use apples instead. (Apple Jokes)
  23. Pumpkin Jokes)
  24. Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate! (Farming Jokes / Pirate Jokes / Pumpkin Jokes)
  25. What does a pumpkin priest give a homily?… From the pulp-it.
  26. Did you hear about the pumpkin who played basketball?… He was a point gourd. (World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
  27. What instrument does a pumpkin play?… An a-gourd-ian. (365 Music Jokes)
  28. Why did the pumpkin lose the MMA match?… He let his gourd down.
  29. Kids: “There isn’t enough sugar in the pumpkin filling!” Dad: “Hey, cooking is an art, not a science…” “… you can’t calculate pie.” (Math Jokes for Teachers & Dad Jokes)
  30. Why did the jack-o-lanterns claim to be spiritual?… Because he had an inner light.
  31. What do you call a fall pop star?… Pumpkin Spice! (365 Music Jokes)
  32. What do you call an athletic pumpkin?… A jock o’ lantern.
  33. I saw a beautiful pumpkin today…It was gourdeous.
  34. What band do Halloween vandals listen to?… The Smashing Pumpkins. (Pumpkin Jokes)
  35. What do you give to a pumpkin who is trying to quit smoking?… A pumpkin patch! (Fall Jokes)
  36. What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?… Pulp fiction. (Movie Jokes)
  37. What do you call a pumpkin that works at the beach?… A life-gourd.
  38. Where do jack o’ lanterns live?… In the seedy part of town!
  39. We got our seasonal bulk is at work today and we got pumpkin spice motor oil… It’s for Autumnmobiles. (Fall Jokes)
  40. How does a pumpkin listen to Halloween music?… On vine-yl. (365 Music Jokes)
  41. Why do pumpkins do so bad in school?… Because they had all their brains scooped out. (Halloween Jokes for Teachers)
  42. I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween I stand up inside Jack O Lanterns. What am I?… A candle. (Candle Jokes)
  43. How did the winter squash pay for things?… It used pumpkin bread. (Bread Jokes & Winter Jokes)
  44. A guy walks into the doctor’s office. A banana stuck in one of his ears, a carrot in the other ear, and a baby pumpkin stuck in one nostril. The man says, “Doc, this is terrible. What’s wrong with me?” The doctor says, “Well, first of all, you need to eat more sensibly.” (Doctor Jokes)
  45. What does a carved pumpkin celebrate?… Hollow-een.
  46. Who did the farmer say when his squash went missing?… There’s pumpkin strange happening around here… (Farming Jokes)
  47. What did the pumpkin football coach tell his team before the big game?… “Gourd big or gourd home!” (Pumpkin Jokes)
  48. What music band is the least popular around Halloween?… The Smashing Pumpkins. (Music Jokes)
  49. Why was the gourd so gossip-y?… To give ’em pumpkin’ to talk about.
  50. What’s the problem eating too much pumpkin pie this time of year?… You’ll get autumn’y ache. (Doctor Jokes)
  51. How do gourds to get so strong?… By pumpkin iron.
  52. Who is the leader of all pumpkins?… The Pumpking. (King Jokes)
  53. When is an orange not an orange?… When it’s a pumpkin.
  54. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to go on the roller ghoster?… It didn’t have the guts. (Ghost Jokes)
  55. Who did the pumpkin run away from?… Cinderella’s Fairy Gourd-mother! (Cinderella Jokes)
  56. When is a pumpkin not a pumpkin?… When you drop it; then it’s squash!
  57. When asked how he was feeling, what did the pumpkin say?… I’m vine, thanks for asking. (Doctor Jokes)
  58. Always a seasonal delight, today we will look at how to make a pumpkin roll : Step 1. Get a pumpkin. Step 2. Take your pumpkin to the top of a hill. Step 3. Give it a little push. Step 4. Enjoy
  59. Which English pop singer is most popular during Thanksgiving holiday?… Pumpkin Spice. (Thanksgiving Jokes)
  60. What did one Pumpkin say to the other?… Happy Hollowing! (Funny Halloween Jokes)
  61. Why did the pumpkin take a detour?… To avoid a seedy part of town.
  62. Where do pumpkins hold meetings?… The gourdroom.
  63. Why are jack-o-lanterns so smart?… A candle makes them bright. (Candle Jokes)
  64. What did George Strait say to the pumpkin?… I’m Here for a Gourd Time. (365 Music Jokes)
  65. What did the queasy pumpkin say?… I don’t feel so gourd. (Doctor Jokes)
  66. I have a big decision to make in November… Pumpkin or pecan pie for Thanksgiving? (Pie Jokes & Thanksgiving Jokes)
  67. Why did the pumpkin cross the road?… It fell off the wagon!
  68. I recently decided to stop smashing pumpkins cold turkey. It was difficult at first, but it got easier once I decided to use the pumpkin patch.
  69. What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?… The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly! (Movie Jokes)
  70. What do you call a chubby jack o’ lantern?… A plumpkin!
  71. What did the pumpkin say after Thanksgiving?… Good-pie everyone. (Thanksgiving Jokes & Pie Jokes)
  72. What’s the best thing to put in your pumpkin pie?… Your teeth! (Pie Jokes)
  73. Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate. (Pirate Jokes)
  74. Why were the two pumpkins so close?… They had deep roots.
  75. What does a pirate jack o’ lantern wear?… A pumpkin patch! (Pirate Jokes)
  76. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?… Squash! (101 Sports Jokes / Squash Jokes)
  77. A 500 pound pumpkin fell on a local man today… Reports say he was squashed.
  78. What vegetable does a pumpkin become when an elephant stands on it?… Squash! (Elephant Jokes)
  79. What did the pumpkin say to the pie baker?… Use apples instead. (Apple Pie Jokes)
  80. Who helped the mini pumpkin cross the road?… The crossing gourd.
  81. What did the jack-o’-lantern say to the other jack-o’-lantern when they were on their way to a Halloween party?…”Let’s get glowing.”
  82. Where would you rate Smashing Pumpkins in your top 90’s bands?… For me, I’d rate them Better than Ezra but Less than Jake. (365 Music Jokes)
  83. Why was the jack-o’-lantern so forgetful?… Because he’s empty-headed.
  84. Why are pumpkins so bad at tests?… Because they’ve had their brains scooped out! (Halloween Jokes for Teachers)
  85. Why did the pumpkin turn red?… Because it saw the salad dressing.
  86. Who helps the little pumpkins cross the road to school?… The Crossing Gourd. (Halloween Jokes for Teachers)
  87. How are pumpkins like cats?… They’re often waiting on the porch for you when you get home. (Cat Jokes)
  88. My dad said I could carve pumpkins on the kitchen table. So I did as he said. When he came back to check up on me, he yelled, “You ruined the table! And you spelled pumpkins wrong!”
  89. What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out! (Halloween Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  90. What did the pumpkin need for its boo boo?… A pumpkin patch. (Halloween Jokes & Fall Jokes)
  91. What do you call a pretty pumpkin?… Gourdgeous.
  92. After a minor mathematical error on a routine report, a worker’s boss tried to belittle him in front of his peers. Angrily she asked, “If you had 4 pumpkins and I asked for one, how many would you have left?” Quickly he replied, “If it was you who asked, I’d still have 4 pumpkins.”
  93. What do you call a pumpkin who spits his seeds everywhere?… A jerk o’ lantern!
  94. What did the pumpkin do when he ripped his pants?… He sewed on a pumpkin patch.
  95. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash. (Fall Jokes)
  96. What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?… Squash. (Fall Jokes)
  97. What did the orange pumpkin say to the green pumpkin?… You look a little sick.
  98. What do pumpkins eat at the movies?… Pulp Corn. (Popcorn Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  99. What does a pumpkin pie say after a big meal?… That was filling.
  100. How do you cure someone with a pumpkin spice addiction?… Apply the pumpkin patch.
  101. What are jack-o-lanterns afraid of?… Things that go pumpkin in the night!
  102. Why do Jack-o-lanterns have wicked smiles?… Because they just had their brains scooped out! (Top Biology Jokes)
  103. What do you call death by a massive pumpkin falling on your head?… gourd to death. (Cemetery Jokes)
  104. Why did the witch paint her toenails orange?… So she could hide in the pumpkin patch. (Witch Jokes)
  105. Why was the jack-o-lantern afraid to cross the road?… It had no guts! (Top Biology Jokes)
  106. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about pumpkins?
  107. What kind of animal loves pumpkins?… Orange-atans.
  108. What do surfers say on Halloween?… Gourd vibes only, bro. (Surfing Jokes)
  109. What did the squash say to the cucumber when he saw the pumpkin patch get blown up?… Oh My Gourd!
  110. Pumpkins are the most beautiful crop… They’re absolutely gourd-geous.
  111. Why was Cinderella such a bad lacrosse player?… Her coach was a pumpkin. (Cinderella Jokes / Disney Jokes / Pumpkin Jokes)
  112. What did the pumpkins do at happy hour?… Let’s get smashed. (Beer Jokes)
  113. What did the pumpkin say at the end of Halloween?… Good-pie everyone!
  114. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good pumpkin knock-knock joke?
  115. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good pumpkin knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  116. I created a robot that serves me pumpkin spice lattes… Naturally, I coded in BASIC. (Computer Jokes)
  117. Why do pumpkins sit on people’s porches?… They have no hands to knock on the door.
  118. Why do we carve pumpkins for Halloween?… Because they’re less bloody.
  119. Why was the jack-o’-lantern afraid?… It had no guts.
  120. What did the pumpkin say to its carver?… Cut it out!
  121. Why was Cinderella bad at football?… Because she had a pumpkin for a coach. (Football Jokes)
  122. Why was Cinderella not very good at softball?… Because her coach was a pumpkin.
  123. What’s orange and faster than a speeding train?… Super Pumpkin.
  124. Did you know that Starbucks can make your teeth whiter?… Enough pumpkin spiced latte will make anything whiter.
  125. What kind of gourd grows on trees?… Plumkins.
  126. What’s orange and goes choo-choo?… A Pumpkin in Train-ing.
  127. What do you call an overweight pumpkin?…A plumpkin!
  128. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
  129. Throw your rotting pumpkins at pretty people… It is a sure way of calling them Gourdeous.
  130. What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?… A pumpkin patch.
  131. What did the pumpkin say to the jar?… Soon I will be ajar to.
  132. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch. (Fall Jokes)
  133. How do you fix a cracked pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch.
  134. What do you say when you meet a big pumpkin with sharp teeth?… See you later!
  135. Why do I add baking soda to my pumpkin spice lattes?… To make them even more basic.
  136. What do you call a chubby relative?… A plumpkin!
  137. What is black, white, orange and waddles?… A penguin carrying a pumpkin!
  138. What do you call a pumpkin on steroids?… A jock o’ lantern!
  139. Why didn’t the jack o’ lantern cross the road?… He didn’t have the guts!
  140. Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded… That’s what happens when you mix acid and basic.
  141. Why was Cinderella not very good at tennis?… Because her coach was a pumpkin!
  142. What do you call a gourd’s family members?… Pump-kin