Pirate Jokes for Kids

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Knock knock?… Who is there?… Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We promise to find the best pirate jokes!
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?… Because they can spend years at C. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Ocean Jokes)
What do you call a pirate with both eyes and all his limbs?… A rookie.
Have you heard any good pirate jokes?… Well, neither have ayyyye!
3.14% of Sailors are PI rates! (Pi Day Jokes)
Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?… IHOP. (Bacon Jokes & Egg Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite letter?…. Most people think it’s the ‘R’rrrr, but really it’s the ‘C’ they love. (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week & Ocean Jokes)
What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?… I, I, R, and the seven C’s! (Grammar Jokes)
A pirate and a sailor were exchanging stories. The sailor pointed to the pirate’s peg leg and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, I wrestled a shark and lost me leg.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s hook and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said: “Aye, I fought Red Beard’s crew and lost me hand.” The sailor pointed to the pirate’s eye patch and asked, “How did you get that?” The pirate said, “Aye, a bird came by and left droppings in me eye.” The sailor said, “That’s not as impressive as the other two. …” “Aye,” the pirate answered. “It was me first day with the hook.” (Shark Jokes)
Pirates are not very good students… They are just above C-level. (Pirate Jokes)
A lot of people assume pirates prefer to be in the navy…. But actually they prefer the arrrrrrrrmy. (Army Jokes & Navy Jokes)
I saw a pirate selling corn… Buccaneer. (Corn Jokes)
What do you call a pirate droid?… Argh2-D2.
Why were the pirates happy when they washed up on shore and saw cakes, pies, and ice cream?… It was a desserted island. (Dessert Jokes& Pirate Jokes)
What if math teachers are pirates… and they just want us to find X so they can get the buried treasure?
What’s a pirate’s favorite type of exercise?… The plank!
What is the official mascot of of Pi Day?… the PI – rate! (Pi Day Jokes)
If Blackbeard played in the NFL who would he play for?… The Tampa Bay Buccaneers. (NFL Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s second favorite job?… an arrrrrrchitect! (Labor Day Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite holiday?… AHRRRRR-bor Day! (Arbor Day Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s favorite country?… AARRRRGGHentina! (Geography Jokes)
How do you save a dying pirate?… CPARRRRR
What was pirate’s wife’s name?… Peg.
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of food?… BARRRR-B-Q!
What do you call a sailor who loots desserts?… A pie-rate.
What’s a pirate’s favorite state?… Arrrrkansas (Top 50 State Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
Where do pirates get their haircut?… At the barrrrrber shop! (Barber Jokes)
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRGGH! (Movies Jokes)
Why don’t you ever see a pirate cry?… When they do, it’s a private tear!
What are the only notes a pirate can sing?… High C’s [seas] (Music Jokes)
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?… RRAAAAAAAAAAA! (Cheerleading Jokes)
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?… Shiver me timbers! (Tree Jokes)
Why didn’t the pirate make it to the honor roll when he graduated?… All of his scores were in the C’s. (Graduation Jokes / Jokes for Teachers / Pirate Jokes)
How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook?… An arm and a leg. (Biology Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of cookie?… Ships ahoy! (Cookie Jokes for Kids)
Why can’t pirates play golf well?… They always hook the ball. (Pirate Jokes & Golf Jokes)
Why did the pirate join Planet Fitness?… To improve his booty!
Pie Puns: Pie-rat – A scurvy little rodent with an eye-patch and a hook.
What did the pirate get for grades in middle school?… High Cs.
What country do pirates always cheer for in basketball in the Olympics?… Arrrrrrrrrrrgh….gentina. (Olympic Basketball Jokes)
What is a popular favorite fast food restaurant with pirates?… Arrrrrr-by’s. (Fast Food Jokes)
What was the pirate’s golf score?… paaaarrrrrrrr. (Golf Jokes)
What’s a pirates favorite part of a song?… The hook! (Music Jokes)
What do nice pirates do on Father’s Day?… Take out the garrrrrrrrrrrbage without being asked. (Father’s Day Jokes)
Who is the do the Tampa Bay Buccaneers change?… Davey Jones’ Locker! (Football Jokes)
Why are pirates called pirates?… They just aRRRRRRRR.
Where can ye find a pirate who has lost his wooden legs?… Right where ye left him.
Which two football teams played in the Pirate Super Bowl?… The Seahawks and the Buccaneers. (Football Jokes)
How do pirates make their money?… By hook or by crook.
What’s the name of the world’s most frugal pirate?… Barry D. Treasure.
How do pirates know they exist?… They think, therefore they arrrr.
When is the best time for a pirate to buy a new ship?… When it’s on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite subject in school?… Arrrrrrt. (Art Jokes)
Where do pirates like to eat?… the HARRRRRRD rock cafe! (Travel Guest Blogs & Music Jokes)
How do pirates talk to each other?… Aye to aye!
Why can’t pirates wear sunglasses?… Because they have no buccaneers!
What do pirates wear at autumn?… Pumpkin patches. (Pumpkin Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
How do you make a pirate angry?… Take away the “p.”
What is a buccaneer?… Pretty high price to pay for corn. (Corn Jokes)
How do you turn a pirate furious?… Take away the “p.” (Grammar Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite firework?… M-80. (Fireworks Jokes)
Why did the pirate so bad at bowling?… He had a severe hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Bowling Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s second favorite mode of transportation?… A cAARRRRGGH! (Massachusetts Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s favorite basketball move?… Jump hook. (Basketball Jokes for Kids)
What is even scarier to pirates than sharks?… Plank-ton. (Shark Jokes)
What is a pirate’s favorite class?… Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt! (Art Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
Why can’t pirates play cards?… Because they’re always standing on the deck!
Why do pirates make excellent fishermen?… They know how to hook the big ones. (Fishing Jokes for Kids)
Where do pirates get drunk?… The Sand Bar. (Beer Jokes)
What type of pirate testifies in court?… An “Aye” “Aye” Witness! (Pirate Jokes)
What do you call a pirate that skips school?… Captain Hooky! (180 School Jokes)
What did the pirate shark sing with his crew?… “Yo ho ho and a bottle of chum!” (Shark Jokes)
Why did the pirate move to Manitoba?… He heard he could Winnipeg! (Canada Jokes)
Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate! (Farming Jokes / Pirate Jokes / Pumpkin Jokes)
What kind of ships do pirates have trouble with?… Relationships! (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s favorite college basketball team?… Seton Hall Pirates. (College Basketball Jokes)
If Blackbeard played sports who would he play for?… Either the Tampa Bay Buccaneers or the Pittsburgh Pirates. (Top 10 Sports Jokes / Baseball Jokes / Football Jokes)
How do pirates measure the distance they swim?… In YARRRRRds. (Swimming Jokes)
What’s the pirate’s favorite movie?… Booty and the Beast. (Disney Jokes for Kids)
Did you hear about the sailor who turned into a pumpkin pie?… He’s a squashbuckling pirate. (Pumpkin Jokes)
Why did the pirate go on vacation?… He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH! (Travel Guest Blogs)
How much does a pirate pay to get his ears pierced?… A-buck-an-ear.
What did the sea say to the Pirate Captain?… Nothing, it just waved! (Geography Jokes)
What Star Wars character is really a pirate?… AARRRRGGH-2 D-2! (Star Wars Jokes)
Why is pirating so addictive?…They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
What kind of socks does a pirate wear?… AARRRRGGHyle!
How did the pirate become a lawyer?… He passed the barrrrr!!!!(Cookie Jokes for Kids)
When boxing, what’s a pirate’s favorite punch?… Left hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Top 10 Boxing Jokes)
What does a pirate think happens at the end of time?… Arrrrmageddon.
What’s every pirate’s favorite flavor potato chip?… Barrrrrrbeque. (Summer Jokes)
What does a pirate jack o’ lantern wear?… A pumpkin patch! (Pumpkin Jokes)
Why did the pirate fail his spelling class?…. Because he insisted there were seven ‘C’s. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? / Spelling Lists / Ocean Jokes / Grammar Jokes)
What’s the difference between a soldier and a pirate?… One says “aye” and the other says “aye aye!” (Memorial Day Jokes)
Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground?… Because booty is only shin deep.
Knock knock?… Who is there?… Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best pirate jokes!
A guy I met sold me a DVD. It had 3.14 stars. I think it was pi-rated. (Movie Jokes & Pie Jokes)
What kind of grades did the pirate get in school?… HIGH SEAS! (180 School Jokes)
Why did the pirate want to see the luge race?… He heard there would be lots of Booties there. (Luge Jokes)
Why did the pirate captain always fly his flag upside down?… Because he wanted to flag down passing ships. (Flag Jokes)
What do you call a pirate with 2 arms and 2 legs?… A beginner.
What does a Pirate Santa say…? “Row row row..” (Christmas Jokes)
Why does a pirate fear getting older?… He could have arrrrthritus. (Doctor Jokes)
Who was the most infamous pirate octopus?… Captain Squid. (Octopus Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Pi… Pi who?… Pi-rate mathematicians never die, they just go off on a tangent. (Pirate Jokes for Kids & Cemetery Jokes)
What have I named the pie section of my bakery menu?… Treasure Hunter cus its full of Pie-Rates.
Pie Puns: Arrgh, it a swashbuckling pie-rate.
Why does pirate likes to eat pie?… Because PIE RATING is in their job description.
How does a pirate make an octopus laugh?… Ten tickles.
Why did the pirate love leap years?… Because it gave him an extra day to hunt for buried treasure!
What do you call a pirate that skips class?… Captain Hooky!
What do you call a pirate that skips class in college?… Captain Hooky!
What is a buccaneer?… A fair price for corn. (Corn Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s favorite kind of fish?… Swordfish. (Fish Jokes)
What happened when Red Beard fell in the Deep Blue Sea?… He got marooned. (Ocean Jokes & Crayon Jokes)
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?… A nervous wreck! (Psychology Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
Why do pirates hate getting report cards?… Because they always get seven C’s.
What did the Pirate on Wheel of Fortune say?… I’d like to buy an Aye!
How much did the pirate’s ear-rings cost?… A-buck-an-ear
What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?… arrrr (26 lessons for the Letter of the Week)
Where do pirates put their trash?… in the GARRRRRRRRRRRBAGE can!
What is a pirates favorite doll?… BARRRRRRRRRRBIE!
What are pirates afraid of?… the DARRRRRRRRRRK.
Why are pirates the coolest?… they just ARRRRRRRR!!!
Where do pirates keep their weapons?… in an ARRRRRRRRSONAL!
Where do pirates park their ships?… in the harrrrrrbor! (Ocean Jokes)
A book never written: “Pirate Gold” by Barry D. Treasure. (Book Jokes)
How much do pirates charge for corn on the cob?… A buck-an-ear. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
Why should pirates work for FedEx?… They have the fastest ships in the shipping business. (Labor Day Jokes)
What does a gourmet pirate add to his dinner?… A gAARRRRGGHnish!
Why aren’t there any French Restaurants in Davy Jones’ Locker?… Dead men sell no snails!
What’s a pirate’s least favorite veggie?… Leeks (Farming Jokes)
Why did the shipwrecked pirates get to eat cakes, oreo cookies and pies when they washed up on shore?… It was a desserted island. (Oreo Cookie Jokes & Dessert Jokes)
(Biology Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about pirates? (Knock Knock Jokes)
What has 8 arms and 8 legs?… Eight pirates! (Math Jokes for Kids)
What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?… A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries. (Pirate Jokes / Farming Jokes / Massachusetts Jokes)
Why did the pirate take up boxing?… He had a nasty left hook. (Top 10 Sports Jokes & Boxing Jokes)
What’s a pirate always looking for, even though it’s right behind him?… His booty! (Biology Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good pirate knock-knock joke? (June Jokes)
What does a pirate wear for Halloween?… A pumpkin patch! (Top Halloween Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
What’s a pirate’s favorite food?… Arrrrrtichokes.
Why do pirates never go hiking?… Poison oak is deadly with hook. (Hiking Jokes)
Who was the pirate’s favorite musician?… Carlos Bandana. (Music Jokes)
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his dad on Father’s Day?… Because he left the phone off the hook. (Father’s Day Jokes)
Who is the leader of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers?… Captain Hook! (Football Jokes)
Pirates are not very good students… They are just above C-level. (180 School Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about pirates? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
To err is human… To arr pirate.
What did one pirate say to the other?… “I sea you!”
What’s the smelliest part of a pirate ship?… the poop deck.
Why didn’t the pirate make it to the dean’s list when he graduated?… All of his scores were in the C’s. (Graduation Jokes)
Why don’t pirates take a bath before they walk the plank?… They’ll just wash up on shore later. (Geography Jokes)
Where did the pirate put its car when it was done driving it?… the PARRRRRRRRRKING lot. (Car Jokes)
Why’d the pirate go to the Apple store?… He needed a new ipatch! (Computer Jokes)
Why does the pirate carry his sword?… Because swords can’t walk.
Where do pirates buy their sketch pads?… Arrrrrrrt Supply Store.
Where do pirates keep their valuables?… In a jarrrrr.
What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate?… One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
Why does a pirate fear getting older?… He could have arrrrthritus. (Doctor Jokes)
What did the pirate do to his drowning first mate?… C P ARRRRRRRRR. (Doctor Jokes)
What do you call a pirate with no arms and no legs?… An expert pirate.
What’s the pirate’s favorite restaurant?… Trick question because it’s either Jolly Roger or Long John Silver’s. (Fast Food Jokes)
Where do pirates keep their cookies?… in a jarrrr!!!! (Cookie Jokes for Kids)
What was Bluebeard’s wife’s name?… Peg.
How does a pirate tell his matey he’ll watch for him?… I’ll keep an eye out for you. (Biology Jokes for Kids)
Why does a pirate’s phone go beep beep beep beep beep?… Because he left it off the hook!
Why couldn’t the kids go to the new summer pirate movie?… Because it was rated ARRRRRRRR! (Summer Jokes for Kids & Pirate Jokes)
Why don’t pirates use a safe deposit box?… They put their valuables in Davy Jones’ Locker.
What kind of look does a pirate give right before walking off the ship?… Plank stare.
How could the pirate acquire the ship so cheaply?… Because it was on sail. (Black Friday Jokes)
What has 12 arms, 12 legs and 12 eyes?… A dozen pirates. (Math Jokes for Kids)
What’s a pirate use his cell phone for?… Booty calls.
What’s a pirate’s worst enemy?… Termites.
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?… A carrot.
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRRR because of all the booty!
What does a pirate say when he takes over Santa’s job?… Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum. (Top Christmas Jokes)
How do you make a pirate dessert?… take out the R-A-T, then you get a pie.
What exercise is hard for Blackbeard?… Pirate Pilates.
Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?… Because they insist there are 7 Cs! (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists)
What’s a pirate’s least favorite animal?… Beaver. (Animal Jokes)
What a pirate’s 2 favorite letters?… Arrrr and Seaaaa. (Deos Selplnig Ralely Mtetar? & Spelling Lists)
Why is there smoke all around the pirate?… He’s smoking a cigarrr.
Why does the pirate say AED?… He knows medical Jarrrgon. (Doctor Jokes)
Why did the pirate move to Russia?… To be czarrr. (Travel Guest Blogs)
How did the pirate stop smoking?… He used the patch!
Where do pirates get chocolate?… Carob bean. (Travel Guest Blogs) & Chocolate Jokes)
Where do pirates drink their beer?… In schooners.
Which pirate ship has a gate?… Frigate.
What is a buccaneer?… Pretty high price to pay for corn. (Corn Jokes)
What does a vegan pirate do in jail?… Starrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrve!
Where does a pirate store his workout clothes?… Davy Jone’s Locker.
What’s Bluebeard’s favorite song?… Doubloon Moon. (Full Moon Jokes)
Where do pirates find their birds?… Parrots Without Partners. (Bird Jokes)
Did you hear about the pirate’s parrot that fell in love with a duck?… The bird kept saying, “Polly wants a quacker.” (Bird Jokes)
Why couldn’t the young pirate see the R-rated movie?… There was no parrot-al guidance. (Bird Jokes)
How do pirates eat on their ships?… Slurp soup on the sloop.
Who’s the pirate’s favorite actress?… Diane Cannon.
What’s The Next Pirate Internet Sensation?… Planking!
How does a pirate, wearing a patch, say “yes” to the leader?… Eye Eye, Captain. (Biology Jokes)
What does a pirate put on toast?… Jelly Roger. (Peanut Butter Jokes)
Why did the pirate refuse to say, “Aye, Aye, Captain”?… Because he’s only got one eye. (Biology Jokes)
How do pirates prefer to communicate?… Aye to aye!
What did the pirate say when he became an octogenarian?… Aye matey years old!
A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eye patch running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”
Why didn’t the 11 year old go to the pirate movie?… because it was rated arrrrr.
Why are pirates so eco-friendly?… They always follow the three arrrrrrrs. (Earth Day Jokes)
Why don’t pirates go to strip clubs?… Because they already have all the booty!
Which two football teams played in the Pirate Super Bowl?… The Seahawks and the Buccaneers. (Football Jokes)
How much did it cost the pirate to have his ears pierced on the Pi Day special?… A buck an ear!
3.14% of math professors dress as PI rates for Halloween! (Halloween Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
3.14% of math teachers dress as PI rates for Halloween! (Halloween Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
3.14% of math majors dress as PI rates for Halloween! (Halloween Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
Do you know that Netflix has devised the perfect way to stop the distribution of pirated movies?… They now block all movies with an IMDB rating of 3.14. Pi-rated. (Movie Jokes & Pirate Jokes)

Updated 9/2024

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