Pennsylvania Jokes

by | Jun 24, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments


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(Pennsylvania Jokes)

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  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about Pennsylvania.
  2. Did you hear the joke about the Liberty Bell?… Yeah, it cracked me up! (American Revolution Jokes)
  3. Which colonists told the most jokes?… Punsylvanians! (American Revolution Jokes & 4th of July Jokes)
  4. Most people consider the Battle of Gettysburg the turning point of the American Civil War… For the Confederacy, it all went South from there. (Civil War Jokes)
  5. A book never written: “To Make a Steak Sandwich” by Phil E. Cheese. (Sandwich Jokes & Book Jokes)
  6. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?… On the bottom! (American Revolution Jokes)
  7. Son: I can’t believe I have to memorize the entire Gettysburg Address by tomorrow. Dad: Make sure you don’t forget the zip code! (Pennsylvania Jokes)
  8. Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?… Because they lived in colonies. (Top 50 State Jokes& Pennsylvania Jokes)
  9. Where did the pencil go for vacation?… To Pennsylvania. (Pencil Jokes)
  10. Teacher: True or False? The Declaration of Independence was written in Philadelphia. Student: False. It was written in ink. (American Revolution Jokes & Teacher Jokes)
  11. What is the tallest building in Pennsylvania?… State Library of Pennsylvania, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  12. The 1st group of early Americans who were really fond of earthquakes were the Quakers. (Rhode Island & Earthquake Jokes)
  13. What type of cheese do you use for a Tom Hanks’ grilled cheese sandwich?… Philadelphia. (Movie Jokes & Pennsylvania Jokes)
  14. Where do a Pennsylvania fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Ohio River. (Ten Longest Rivers in Pennsylvania)
  15. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween basketball tournament?… Spooky Nook in Manheim, PA.
  16. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Susquehanna River! (Ten Longest Rivers in Pennsylvania)
  17. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The The Allegheny River! (Geography Jokes for Kids & Ten Longest Rivers in Pennsylvania)
  18. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in Pennsylvania?… Because Pennsylvania drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  19. Where do pencils go on field trips?… Pencil-vania. (Pencil Jokes & Pennsylvania Jokes)
  20. Pennsylvania can now officially say that they are more English than American now. Why?… It’s because the Pittsburgh Bridge Has Fallen Down.
  21. Pennsylvania: We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  22. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Philadelphia Zoo. (Zoo Jokes)
  23. How do the zebras at the Pittsburgh Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  24. A retired Pennsylvania man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  25. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Lake Tobias Wildlife Park?… Lion. (Oregon Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  26. Why won’t any of Pennsylvania’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  27. What goes “Clip, Clop, Clip, Clop, BANG!! ClipClopClipClopClipClopClipClop?”… An Amish drive-by shooting.
  28. Did you hear the joke about Beam Rocks?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & 10 of the Most Beautiful Mountains in Pennsylvania)
  29. What did Pennsylvania see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  30. In what state does the Delaware River flow?… Liquid. 
  31. Over the summer, Pennsylvania is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 112°F… NOT cool. (Summer Jokes)
  32. Tourist: “Lived in this town all your life?” Resident: “No, not yet.”
  33. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” Pennsylvania Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  34. Speaking of driving… Pennsylvania roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive.
  35. Over the winter, Pennsylvania is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as -43°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  36. Why is the Ohio River rich? …. Because it has two banks.
  37. Can you name the capital of Pennsylvania?… “P”
  38. Why is the Liberty Bell like a dropped Easter egg?… They’re both cracked. (Easter Jokes & Egg Jokes)
  39. Super Bowl LII: Why did the Eagles win the Super Bowl?… They’re very talonted. (Super Bowl Jokes & Bird Jokes)
  40. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New York where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  41. Where do pretzels go on vacation?… Pretzilvania.
  42. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The Pennsylvania Turnpike!
  43. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  44. Why does no one own an Xbox in Pennsylvania?… Because it’s always Sony in Philadelphia!
  45. In the news, Pennsylvania had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  46. What is Ronald McDonalds favorite city in Pennsylvania?… Pitts-burger.
  47. Pennsylvania: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  48. A Pennsylvania man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  49. Why won’t any of Pennsylvanias bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired.
  50. Why can’t Mt. Hood and Mt. Bachelor play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Oregon Jokes & Ghost Jokes)
  51. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in Pennsylvania to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  52. How many Pennsylvania men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in Pennsylvania makes cents.
  53. What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn’t any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? “Shomething’sh Amish…”
  54. What does a police officer in rural Pennsylvania say when he sees suspicious behavior? “Hmm, something’s Amish here.”
  55. Pennsylvania has any cents.
  56. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in Pennsylvania?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  57. What is a Pennsylvania clouds favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  58. What does the average Pennsylvania high school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  59. Why do Pennsylvania students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  60. How do you get a man in Pennsylvania to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  61. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in Pennsylvania.
  62. How many Pennsylvania State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  63. What did Canonsburg Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (25 Best Lakes in Pennsylvania)
  64. Where does everyone get their pencils from?… Pennsylvania! (Pencil Jokes for Kids)
  65. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about Pennsylvania?
  66. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good Pennsylvania knock-knock joke?
  67. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: Pennslyvania. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in ! (Teacher Jokes)
  68. Where did the pen go for holiday?… He went to pencil-vania. (Pencil Jokes)
  69. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good Pennsylvania knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  70. Where do pencils travel to?… PENCILvaneya.
  71. Where does Dracula get his writing utensils?… Pennsylvania
  72. Pennsylvania, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  73. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the Pennslyvania plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  74. Where do Pennsylvania elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  75. Where do Pennsylvania middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  76. Where doPennsylvania high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  77. Why did the Pennsylvania teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  78. Why did the Pennsylvania teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  79. Why did the Pennsylvania teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  80. What did Pennsylvania see?… the same thing Arkansas.
  81. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween baseball tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  82. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween volleyball tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  83. Where is the #1 place to have a Halloween wrestling tournament?… SpooKy Nook in Manheim, PA.
  84. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New Jersey where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  85. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New Jersey where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  86. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & Delaware where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  87. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & New Jersey where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  88. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & Maryland where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  89. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & West Virginia where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  90. If a plane crashed on the borders of Pennsylvania & Ohio where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  91. Why are there no subs in Pennsylvania?… Everyone is either a hoagie or a dom.
  92. Where does corn go for vacation?… Lake Earie. (Travel Guest Blogs)
  93. “You prefer Hershey’s Chocolate to Godiva.”