Penguin Jokes

by | Jan 20, 2020 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Top Joke Pages: 

Google Search “Penguin Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best penguin jokes.
  2. Why are penguins good Indianapolis 500 race drivers?… Because they’re always in the pole position! (Indianapolis 500 Jokes & Car Jokes)
  3. How does a penguin cook burgers?… With his flippers. (Hamburger Jokes)
  4. What was the name of the emperor’s penguin?… Julius Freezerrr. (Ides of March Jokes)
  5. I used to love telling jokes about penguins and ostriches… But it turns out they don’t really fly around here.
  6. What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta?… Penguini. (Pasta Jokes)
  7. Why don’t you see any penguins in Britain?… Because they’re afraid of Wales! (World Geography Jokes)
  8. Who is a Penguin’s favorite pop star?… Seal. (Music Jokes)
  9. How do penguins drink?… Out of beak-ers! (Chemistry Jokes)
  10. When I become a lawyer I want to defend a penguin… Just so I can say the words “Your Honor, clearly my client is not a flight risk.” (Lawyer Jokes)
  11. What do you call a cold penguin?… A brrr-d. (Bird Jokes)
  12. What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?… Why the heck was I narrating it if Penguins can talk. (Movie Jokes)
  13. What birds like to write?… Penguins! (Grammar Jokes)
  14. South America has the perfect weather for penguins… It’s nice and Chile.
  15. What do penguins wear on their heads?… Ice caps! (Hat Jokes)
  16. What does a penguin eat on its birthday?… Fish cakes! (Birthday Jokes / Cake Jokes / Fishing Jokes / Penguin Jokes)
  17. What do you call a happy penguin?… a Pen-Grin! (Psychology Jokes)
  18. What did one Emperor Penguin say to the other?… Nothing, he just gave him the cold shoulder.
  19. What do penguins eat for lunch?… Ice-burgers! (Hamburger Jokes)
  20. How do you know if a penguin has Covid?… It has to ice-olate. (Covid Jokes)
  21. Which penguin movie won an Oscar?… Lord of the Wings. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  22. Where do penguins go to the movies?… At the dive-in! (Movie Jokes)
  23. Dad, name 5 animals living in the North Pole… Three seals and two penguins. (Penguin Jokes & Dad Jokes)
  24. Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?… It’s a whale of a tale. (Whale Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  25. What do Penguins like to eat?… Brrrrrrrritos. (Burrito Jokes for Kids)
  26. What’s a penguin’s favorite salad?… Iceberg lettuce! (Lettuce Jokes)
  27. What do penguins like to wear on the beach?… A beak-ini. (Beach Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  28. How do you get in touch with a penguin?… Give him a wing.
  29. Which bird always gets first place?… A peng-win.
  30. I just finished writing my book on penguins… My publisher said it would’ve been better if I’d written it on paper. (Book Jokes)
  31. Why didn’t the penguin jump off the iceberg?… He got cold feet.
  32. A penguin walks into an airport… A TSA officer stops him and says “Penguins can’t fly.”
  33. How do penguins know when there’s something wrong?… It smells a bit fishy.
  34. What is smarter than a talking penguin?… A spelling bee! (Bee Jokes)
  35. A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg. When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes over and the penguin asks, “Thank goodness you’re around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?” The narwhal stares at him for a bit, then says, “Okay, so what are your hobbies?”
  36. What does a penguin who does magic say to his audience?… Pick a cod, any cod. (Magic Jokes & Fishing Jokes)
  37. Why do polar bears and penguins not get along?… Because they are polar opposites. (Bear Jokes)
  38. How does a group of penguins make a difficult decision?… Flipper coin. (Jokes for Teachers)
  39. How do penguins pass tests?… They wing it. (Jokes for Teachers)
  40. What do penguins eat for breakfast?… Frosted Flakes.
  41. Why are penguins socially awkward?… Because they can’t break the ice.
  42. How does a penguin make pancakes?… With its flippers! (Pancake Jokes)
  43. Where do penguins keep their money?… In a snow bank!
  44. What do you call a penguin that has no eyes?… Pengun. (Biology Jokes for Teachers & Grammar Jokes)
  45. Why was the penguin so popular?… Well, he was an ice guy!
  46. What do Penguins sing on a birthday?… Freeze a jolly good fellow. (Birthday Jokes & 365 Music Jokes)
  47. What’s a penguin’s favorite dog?… A bichon freeze. (Dog Jokes)
  48. When I meet new people, I always talk about my pet penguin… It’s a good icebreaker. (National Pet Day Jokes)
  49. How do Penguins drink their cola?… On the rocks.
  50. Why don’t penguins fly?… Because they’re not tall enough to be pilots. (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  51. How did the penguin pass its driving test?.. It winged it! (Car Jokes)
  52. Why do penguins wear glasses?… To help their ice-sight. (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  53. What do penguins drink in the summer?… Iced tea. (Iced Tea Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  54. What is a penguin’s favorite movie?… Frozen. (Movie Jokes)
  55. What shoes do penguins wear in the summer?… Flipper flops. (Flip Flop Jokes & Summer Jokes)
  56. A penguin walks into a bar… The bartender looks up and says, “Hey, listen, these things don’t fly around here.” (Bird Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  57. What does the penguin waiter say?… Waddle it be?
  58. Why do penguins never get married?…They always get cold feet
  59. How does a penguin cook burgers?… With his flippers. (Hamburger Jokes)
  60. Why do penguins always carry fish in their beaks?… They don’t have any pockets! (Fishing Jokes)
  61. What is the difference between a bad dressed penguin on a tricycle and a sharp dressed penguin on a bicycle?… Atire
  62. What do penguins wear on their feet at nighttime?… Slippers. (Napping Jokes)
  63. What are the oldest animals?… Zebras and Penguins because they’re in black and white. (Zebra Jokes & Zoo Jokes)
  64. Why did the penguin leave his bride at the altar?… He got cold feet.
  65. Why did the penguin leave her groom at the altar?… She got cold feet.
  66. A horse, a dog, and a penguin walk into a bar Bartender: What are we even paying the bouncer for?
  67. How do Penguins finish a race?… They pengwin. (Track and Field Jokes)
  68. Can a penguin fly?… No, but a toucan. (Bird Jokes)
  69. When visiting England, what do nuclear scientists penguins eat?… Fission chips. (Fishing Jokes)
  70. What’s a penguin’s favorite pasta?… Penguini. (Pasta Jokes)
  71. I had a latte with a penguin the other day… He said he would have preferred a fish. (Coffee Jokes & Fishing Jokes)
  72. (Pasta Jokes)
  73. What’s a penguin’s favorite place to swim?… The South Pool. (Swimming Jokes)
  74. Who’s the head of the penguin navy?… Admiral Byrd! (Navy Jokes)
  75. Why are penguins good race drivers?… Because they’re always in the pole position! (NASCAR Jokes for Kids & Car Jokes)
  76. How do penguins drink?… Out of beak-ers! (Chemistry Jokes)
  77. How does a penguin build its house?.. Igloos it together!
  78. What do you give to a penguin that’s ill?… Some medical tweetment. (Doctor Jokes)
  79. Why don’t Penguins like rock music?… They only like sole. (Music Jokes)
  80. What do you call fifty penguins at the North Pole?… Really lost, because penguins live in the Southern Hemisphere!
  81. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about penguins?
  82. Where do penguins go to dance?… The snow ball! (Dance Jokes)
  83. What would you call a penguin with no I?… Pengun.
  84. Where do penguins go swimming?… At the South Pool!
  85. They are doing a new sequel to the movie “March of the Penguins.”… They are calling it “April of the Penguins!” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Movie Jokes)
  86. When confronted by other birds about his inability to fly… the penguin was unflappable.
  87. What do you call a penguin in the desert?… Lost!
  88. I said to my doctor, “I wake up thinking I’m a penguin, and by the end of the day I believe I’m an arctic fox.” He told me I was bipolar.
  89. Why did the two penguins jump when they first met?… They were trying to break the ice.
  90. What did the penguin say after he went shopping?… Put it on my bill.
  91. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good penguin knock-knock joke?
  92. What’s black, white and red all over?… A penguin with a sunburn! (Summer Jokes)
  93. What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?… Starfish.
  94. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good penguin knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  95. When a penguin has forgets his wallet, what does it tell the waiter?… Put it on my bill.
  96. Why are penguins so difficult to get along with?… Because they’re always fishing for compliments. (Fishing Jokes)
  97. Why don’t you see penguins in Britain?… Because they’re afraid of Wales! (World Geography Jokes)
  98. Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?… Because they haven’t got any pockets.
  99. Where do penguins get money from?… A fishbank. (Fishing Jokes)
  100. What does a penguin lawyer order at a bar?… Just ice. (Lawyer Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  101. Why did the penguin cross the road?… To go with the floe!
  102. What does a penguin do when it loses its tail?… It goes to a re-tail store. (Black Friday Jokes)
  103. Why would a penguin cross the road twice?… To prove he isn’t a chicken. (Chicken Jokes)
  104. How does a penguin build a LEGO house?… Igloos it together!
  105. What’s black and white and goes round and round?… A penguin in a revolving door.
  106. Why do two penguins in a nest always agree?… Because they don’t want to fall out. (Bird Jokes)
  107. What’s black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white?… A penguin rolling down a hill.
  108. Why shouldn’t you write a book on penguins?… Because writing a book on paper is much easier! (Book Jokes)
  109. Why are penguins so good at using the internet?… Because they have web feet! (Computer Jokes)
  110. What was the name of the emperor’s penguin?… Julius Freezerrr. (Ides of March Jokes)
  111. Where does a 500 pound penguin sit when he’s resting?… Anywhere he wants!
  112. Which side of the penguin has the most feathers?… The outside.
  113. Why do penguins always come first when they race other animals?… Because they are peng-wins! (Track and Field Jokes)
  114. Why is it so hard to write a book on penguins?… Because they always squirm, are kind of slippery and writing a book on paper is much easier. (Book Jokes)
  115. Where do penguins keep their savings?… In a snow bank.
  116. Why do you never see a penguin in the UK?… They don’t like getting too close to wales.
  117. Which of the penguins relatives always gets the most visitors?… Aunt Arctica.
  118. Why wouldn’t one penguin speak to the other penguin?… He was giving him the cold shoulder.
  119. ​What is black, white and red all over?… A penguin with chicken pox.
  120. What is black, white and red all over?… A penguin with eczema.
  121. What does an evil penguin lay?… Deviled eggs.
  122. What is black, white and red all over?… A very embarrassed penguin.
  123. What do penguins do when they want to hookup?… Net fish and chill. (Fishing Jokes & Movie Jokes)
  124. What is a penguin’s favorite dancing style?… Pole Dancing. (Dance Jokes)
  125. I used to love telling jokes about penguins and ostriches… But it turns out they don’t really fly around here. (Bird Jokes)
  126. How do Penguins finish a race?… They Pengwin.
  127. Why did the Penguin get away with robbing the Gotham City Central Bank?… Because Batman doesn’t go downtown. (Batman Jokes)
  128. Why did the Penguin open his umbrella at Batman’s family reunion?… Because it was a Wayne-y day. (Batman Jokes)
  129. What do penguins wear on their feet at night time?… Slippers.
  130. What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?… Starfish!
  131. How do you get down off a penguin?… You don’t – you get down off a duck.
  132. What do Penguins like to eat?… Brrrrritos!
  133. How does a penguin make pancakes?… With its flippers.
  134. Why did the penguin cross the ocean?… To get to the other tide.
  135. What’s black and white and spins around?… A penguin in a washing machine.
  136. What did the ocean say to the penguin?… Nothing. It just waved.
  137. What kind of pasta do they eat in Antarctica?… Penguine.
  138. What do you get when a penguin lays an egg on a hill?… An eggroll.
  139. What is black and white and goes round and round?… A penguin in a dryer.