October Jokes for Kids

by | Aug 18, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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  1. October 1st: International Coffee Day: Coffee Jokes: What’s fat, hairy, and drinks a lot of coffee?… Java the Hut! (Star Wars Jokes) 
  2. October 2nd National Custodian Day: According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror. There are teachers, and then there are educators. (Custodian Jokes)
  3. October 4th: National Taco Day: Taco Jokes: Jokes about tacos always get a bad wrap… It’s probably because they’re so corny. (Corn Jokes & Dad Jokes)
  4. October 5th: World Teachers Day: Why did the teacher jump into the water?… She wanted to test the water! (Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  5. October 6th: World Smile Day: Smile Jokes: When is the best time to go to the dentist?… At tooth-hurty (2:30). (180 School Jokes)
  6. Hurricane Jokes: Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the best hurricane evacuation route? (Canoe Jokes)
  7. October 8th: World Octopus Day: What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert?… I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand… (Music Jokes)
  8. October 9th: Leif Erikson Day Jokes: Did you hear about the weekly poker game with Vasco da Gama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson, and Francisco Pizarro?… They can never seem to beat the Straights of Magellan. (World Geography Jokes)
  9. October 10th: World Mental Health Day: Why did the donut start going to therapy?… It couldn’t get over the feeling that something was missing — it never felt hole! (Psychology Jokes / Donut Jokes for Kids)
  10. October 10th: October 10th is such a great day!… 10/10.
  11. October 11th Top 10 Prime Day Jokes: ‘2’ managed to be prime… Against all the odds.
  12. October 12th: National Farmer’s Day Jokes Farming Jokes: What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?… Straw-berries! (Fall Jokes)
  13. October 13th, 1775 US Navy was formed: Navy Jokes: Navy jet pilot: This is it! We’re flying faster than the speed of sound! Copilot: What? (Pilot Jokes & Plane Jokes)
  14. October 14th Columbus Day Jokes: Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Biology Jokes)
  15. October 14th International Egg Day: Top 10 Egg Jokes: What day do eggs hate most?… Fry-day!
  16. October 16th: National Boss Day Jokes: The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish. The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted. The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted. Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
  17. October 17th: Hunter’s Full Moon Jokes: What should you bring to the Hunter’s Moon?… a shotgun.
  18. October 17th: National Pasta Day What do you call a fake noodle?… An impasta. (Spaghetti Jokes & Meatball Jokes)
  19. October 18th: National Chocolate Cupcake Day Do you know what cupcakes & a baseball team have in common?… They both count on the batter! (Baseball Jokes & Softball Jokes)
  20. In September, you pick me when I’m good and ready. In October, you cut me intentionally to make me look worse. In November, you trash me like you never knew me. What am I?… A Jack-o-Lantern for Halloween. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  21. Top 10 Fall Jokes: What kind of vest should you wear in the fall?… A har-vest! (Farming Jokes)
  22. How many seconds are there in one year?… 12 – January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, and December 2nd. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  23. October 23rd: 101 Mole Day Jokes! What did one mole say to the other?… We make great chemistry together.
  24. I can’t believe people are lighting fireworks off in October!… It’s scared the dog so badly he knocked the Christmas tree over. (Fireworks Jokes)
  25. If James Taylor went to college, how would he drive to his homecoming weekend?… He would take the October Road. (365 Music Jokes)
  26. October 26th: National Pumpkin Day Jokes: What did a Jack-o-lantern say to the pumpkin?… Cut it out!
  27. What’s an octopus’ favorite party?… Oktoperfest. (Octopus Jokes & October Jokes)
  28.  Why’s it so easy to trick a leaf in October?… They fall for anything.
  29. October 29th National Cat Day Jokes: Why was the cat afraid of the tree?… Because of its bark. (Dog Jokes & Cat Jokes)
  30. A soldier comes up and asks me what today’s date is. I say “October fourth.” He says 10-4. (Army Jokes)
  31. October 31st: 101 Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes)
  32. Which month is a Rock Stars favorite?… Rock- tober! (Music Jokes)
  33. Friday October 13th Top 50 Friday the 13th Jokes: When Jason Voorhees tells a joke…. it kills! (Cemetery Jokes)
  34. After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th…. A big 10-4, if you will! (Covid Jokes)
  35. October 31st should be a leap year. One day you’re having a good time with Halloween… Then it’s 3 years of being ghosted. (Ghost Jokes)
  36. Homecoming Jokes: What month should you never ask to the homecoming dance?… “NO” vember! (November Jokes)
  37. Knock knockout?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best October jokes.
  39. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good October knock-knock joke?
  40. October is finally here… Can somebody finally wake Billie Joe Armstrong & Green Day up?… Sick of being reminded. (Music Jokes)
  42. Did you know that it is October 31st tomorrow?… Guess that means that October is Oct-over.
  43. Why is October such a popular month?… It always leaves an impression!
  45. October 31st: 101 Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.” (Biology Jokes)
  46. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good October joke?
  47. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good October knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  48. Full Moon Jokes: How does the man in the moon cut his hair?… Eclipse it. (Barber Jokes for Kids & Astronomy Jokes for Kids)
  49. Don’t June know it’s October? (August Jokes)
  50. Don’t June know it’s August?… I can’t December. (December Jokes)
  51. My wife and I just had a daughter and named her SeptemberOctoberNovember… We call her Autumn for short. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Baby Jokes)
  52. What did October say to August?… Wake me up when September ends! (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Music Jokes)
  53. What do you call two spiders who get married in October?… Newly-webs, of course!
  54. My wife and I just had a daughter and named her SeptemberOctoberNovember… We call her Autumn for short. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Baby Jokes)
  55. Me and my childhood crush are marrying next year… Hers is in January and mine in October! (Wedding Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  56. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about October? (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  57. A man walks up to the counter. “Two pairs of underwear please.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disbelief. “Only two pairs of underwear?” “Yup. I wear one while the other is in the wash.” The man behind the counter looks at him in disgust, then rings out his order. A second man walks in. “5 pairs of underwear please.” “Only 5 eh?” “Yeah, I wear one for every weekday, then go commando all the weekend.” The man behind the counter shakes his head. “Well, you’re better then the last guy!” A third man walks in. “7 pairs of underwear please.” “Finally, a man who knows hygiene!” “Yes, I do try. One for every day, and I do my laundry on Sunday.” At the end of the day, a fourth man walks into the underwear store. “12 pairs of underwear please.” “Wow! You must be really clean!” The man smiles. “Yup, that’s me! Err, hang on, let me see if I counted right. January, February, March, April…” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  58. My wife’s panties are labelled ‘Monday’, ‘Tuesday’, ‘Wednesday’ … My underwear is labelled ‘January’, February’, ‘March’… (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  59. October 14th Top 10 Prime Day Jokes: Who are the 1st five numbers to make a purchase on “Prime” Day?… 2,3,5,7,11.
  60. What’s the scariest day on the Hawaiian calendar?…Hula-ween. (Hawaii Jokes & October Jokes)
  61. Top 10 World Series Jokes: It is Game 7 of the World Series, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there. “No” says the neighbor. “The seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Series, and not use it?” The neighbor says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first World Series we haven’t been to together since we got married.” “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find someone else, a friend, a relative or even a neighbor to take the seat? The man shook his head. “No,” he says. “They’re all at the funeral.” (Grandparent Jokes)
  62. Top 10 World Series Jokes: Which takes longer to run: from first to second base or from second to third base?… From second to third base, because there is a shortstop in the middle. (Track Jokes)
  63. Did you know that October is a heartbreaker?… It’s the month everyone falls for every year.
  64. What is the best car to drive in October to take in the fall colors?… An autumn-mobile.
  65. How do you compliment a pumpkin on Halloween night?… You tell her she is gourd-geous!
  66. What did the ground say when October arrived?… What a re-leaf!
  67. What can you always count on at the end of October?… That it will always leave you wanting s’more!
  68. Why do ghosts always hang out in elevators in October?… Because it raises their spirits!
  69. What is a spider’s favorite October pastime?… Fly fishing!
  70. What is the first sign that a vampire skipped his flu shot?… He starts coffin!
  71. What did October say to the lingering hot temperatures?… Make like a tree and leaf!
  72. What did the deciduous tree say to October?… Take it or leaf it!
  73. What is the best way to make an oak tree laugh in October?… Tell him acorn-y joke!
  74. Why did the skeleton stay home from the Halloween dance?… She had no body to go with!
  75. What do skeletons serve at October dinner parties?… Spare ribs!
  76. What does October say to people who go crazy trying to make their Halloween decorations perfect?… Don’t sweat the fall stuff!
  77. What can you always expect to find in October?… Gourd friends!
  78. Why does October think it is the best autumn month?… Because he is fall of himself!
  79. What does a Bavarian wear to Oktoberfest?… An October vest!
  80. Why do birds fly south in October?… Because it’s too far to walk!
  81. Why are dads so tired in October?… The yard work brings both rakes-and-pains!
  82. Did you hear about the tree who didn’t know it was October already?… Needless to say, he was in disbe-leaf!
  83. October is the best time to prank a leaf!… They fall for anything!
  84. Did you hear about the scarecrow that was awarded the “Best Fall Decor” medal?… I don’t know how he won. He was just outstanding in his field.
  85. What is the only thing a jack-o’-lantern is scared of in October?… Things that go pumpkin in the night!
  86. What did the ghoul say when he got home on Halloween night?… I’m going to be goblin candy all night long!
  87. Why can you always expect the Rolling Stones to have a concert in the tenth month of the year? … Because it’s Rock-tober!
  88. What is the most popular month in fall?… You bet your autumn dollar that it is October!
  89. Where do pencils go to look for monsters in October?… Pencil-vania!
  90. Do you know which fall day is 10/10?… October 10th!
  91. I thought that leaving a broom on my front porch in the month of October would draw in the town sorceress… Turns out it was just witchful thinking.
  92. What is a squirrel’s favorite thing to do on October nights?… Nut-flix and chill.
  93. What does Elon Musk do on Halloween?… Trick or tweet.
  94. Did you hear what happened to the man who got behind on his payments to the exorcist this October?… He got repossessed!
  95. How does a monster figure out what to expect for Halloween night?… He reads his October horror-scope!
  96. Why do pies always go to the dentist in October?… Because they need to get their fillings before the November holiday!
  97. What is the first thing you should do on October 1st?… Wake up Green Day! September is over!
  98. Why are PSLs so popular in October?… It’s that spice, spice baby!
  99. What is the best crime show to binge in October?… America’s Most Haunted!
  100. How do jack-o’-lanterns spend their October nights?… Getting lit!
  101. This October is unbeliev-apple!
  102. Falling in love with October moments: Don’t even chai to say you love October more than me.
  103. I can’t help fallin’ in love with October!
  104. The cool October weather has finally arrived!… Sweater late than never…
  105. This October caught me off-gourd.
  106. I apple-solutely love October!
  107. Can you be-leaf it’s October already?
  108. Why is this October weather being so witchy-washy?
  109. I tried to give up football this October, but I couldn’t kick the habit.
  110. I could not have picked a better way to spend an October day.
  111. Top 10 World Series Jokes: For the first time in their franchise history the Washington National’s are World Series champions Scherzer threw his glove out of the way and everybody started crowding the mound, jumping up and down with pure joy. Man the expressions on their faces were completely Bryceless!
  112. Top 10 World Series Jokes: Did you hear the joke about the baseball?… It will leave you in stitches! (Doctor Jokes for Kids)
  113. Top 10 Election Jokes: Why did Bernie Sanders challenging his 49 vs 50% loss in Iowa?… I thought he didn’t care about the 1%? (Iowa Jokes)
  114. What baseball team did Columbus root for?… The Mariners. (Baseball Jokes)
  115. Top 10 Columbus Day Jokes: Christopher Columbus got lost because the directions weren’t ‘pacific. (Ocean Jokes)
  116. October is finally here… Can somebody finally wake Billie Joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded. (Music Jokes)
  117. I was in Germany at Octoberfest and they asked me how many beers I wanted… I said nine, but they didn’t bring me any. (World Geography Jokes & Beer Jokes)
  118. Who is the #1 Super Villain for October?… Doc Ock from Spiderman! (Spiderman Jokes)
  119. October 31st Full Moon Jokes:
  120. What is a clinical trial done in October called?… a trick or treatment.
  121. My wife said I’m not sophisticated. I said, “that’s ridiculous, why, I’m reading a novel right now that’s full of subtext. She was impressed and asked, “what novel?” I said, “The Hunt for Red October.”
  122. What month does Spider-Man hate?…Ock-tober! (Spiderman Jokes)
  123. In the movie ‘The Hunt for Red October’ … the entire story is the sub-plot.
  124. I can’t believe people are letting fireworks off in October!… It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.
  125. Apparently I was supposed to wait until October 31st to dress up like a ghost. Guess I spook too soon.
  126. October 31st: I guess October is… Octover.
  127. October is Eczema awareness month… So I’m raising money by selling scratch off lottery tickets.
  128. What was Humpty Dumpty’s favorite month? October… He had a great fall.
  129. What’s the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog?… You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October.
  130. Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle. October through May, then June through September.
  131. Friday, October 13th: Friday the 13th Jokes: What’s Jason Voorhees favorite dessert?… I-Scream! (Top Summer Jokes)#Fridaythe13th
  132. Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?… To make up for his miserable summer.(Top Summer Jokes)
  133. What did the tree say to autumn?… Leave me alone.
  134. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?… With a pumpkin patch.
  135. What reads and lives in an apple?… A bookworm.
  136. What is a tree’s least favorite month?… Sep-timber! (September Jokes)
  137. An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked: “Where were you on the night of October to April?”
  138. What did one leaf say to another?… I’m falling for you. (Top Valentines Day Jokes)
  139. Why do trees hate tests? — Because they get stumped by the questions. (180 School Jokes)
  140. How do trees get onto the internet?… Easy, they just LOG on. (Tree Jokes)
  141. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?… Squash.
  142. Funny Halloween Jokes Knock, Knock!… Who’s there?… Phillip!… Phillip who?… Phillip my bag with Halloween candy, please!
  143. What do birds say on Halloween?… “Trick or tweet!”
  144. Which Halloween monster is good at math?… Count Dracula!
  145. Why are ghosts terrible liars?… You can see right through them!
  146. Know why skeletons are so calm?… Because nothing gets under their skin.
  147. What do mummies listen to on Halloween?… Wrap music.
  148. Which type of pants do ghosts wear to trick or treat?… Boo jeans.
  149. How do vampires get around on Halloween?… On blood vessels.
  150. Why did the Vampire read The New York Times?… He heard it had great circulation.
  151. Why can’t hockey players dress up for Halloween?… They always take their face off.
  152. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Boo! Boo who? Don’t cry … it’s just my Halloween costume!
  153. Where do fashionable ghosts shop?… Bootiques!
  154. What do witches put on to go trick or treating?… Mas-scare-a.
  155. Why didn’t Jason wear his hockey mask for Halloween?… Because you don’t wear white after Labor Day.
  156. What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?… “You sure are boo-tiful!
  157. Who did Frankenstein go trick or treating with?… His ghoul friend.
  158. Knock Knock!… Who’s there?… Olive!… Olive who?… Olive your Halloween costume!
  159. What’s a vampire’s least favorite meal?… A steak!
  160. What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A neck-tarine!
  161. What makes trick or treating with twin witches so challenging?… You never know which witch is which!
  162. What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream.
  163. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Bee! Bee who? Bee-ware, there’s a full moon this Halloween!
  164. After a gruesome murder in Greenland the suspect is taken in for questioning by the police. Inspector: Would you mind telling us where you were on the night from October 11th to March 5th?
  165. What’s a monster’s favorite play?… Romeo and Ghouliet!
  166. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?… They have no body to love.
  167. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ben! Ben who? Ben waiting for Halloween all year!
  168. Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Witch! Witch who? Witch one of you will give me lots of Halloween candy?
  169. Where does Dracula keep his money?… In a blood bank.
  170. What do owls say when they go trick or treating?… “Happy Owl-ween!”
  171. What does Bigfoot say when he asks for candy?… “Trick-or-feet!”
  172. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?… Because they have no-body to go with.
  173. Where do ghosts buy their Halloween candy?… At the ghost-ery store!
  174. How do you make a skeleton laugh?… You tickle his funny bone!
  175. What tops off a mummy’s ice cream sundae?… Whipped scream.
  176. What do ghosts give out to trick or treaters?… Booberries!
  177. Why was the candy corn booed off the stage?… All of his jokes were too corny!
  178. What Halloween candy is never on time for the party?… Choco-LATE!
  179. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Butter. Butter who? Butter open quick, I have a funny Halloween joke to tell you!
  180. Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana Who? Ivana suck your blood!
  181. Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie?… He didn’t have the guts.
  182. Why don’t mummies take vacations?… They’re afraid to unwind.
  183. What is a vampire’s favorite holiday, besides Halloween?… Fangs-giving!
  184. What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?… “Bone Appetit!”
  185. What do witches put on their bagels?… Scream cheese.
  186. What do ghosts eat for dinner?… Spook-ghetti!
  187. What do skeletons order at restaurants?… Spare ribs.
  188. What’s a ghost’s favorite yogurt flavor?… Boo-berry!
  189. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Hans. Hans who? Hans off my candy!
  190. Why did the headless horseman go into business?… He wanted to get ahead in life.
  191. What does a panda ghost eat?… Bam-BOO!
  192. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
  193. Why did the Cyclops give up teaching? He only had one pupil!
  194. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dishes! Dishes who? Dishes a very Halloween bad joke!
  195. Why did the ghost go into the bar?… For the Boos.
  196. Columbus Day Jokes: Where did Columbus first land in America?… On his feet! (Top Biology Jokes)
  197. Columbus’ Father: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written. (Top Father’s Day Jokes& Top Father’s Day Quotes)
  198. Let’s celebrate Columbus Day by walking into someone’s house and telling them we live there now!
  199. The teacher stood at the front of the room. “Does anybody know what this Monday is?” About half of the students raised their hands. The teacher pointed to one of them. “It’s Columbus Day!” he crowed. The teacher smiled. “It is. Does anybody know why we celebrate it?” This time, only one student raised her hand. “It’s the day the Indians discovered Columbus!” (180 School Jokes)
  200. How was Columbus’s ship like an avid shopper?… They’re both driven by sales!
  201. The teacher was telling the story of Christopher Columbus and how many thought that the world was flat. Then she had mentioned that the world was really round and… got interrupted… “Miss Smith, the world is square, not round,” said Johnny. “No, it’s round Johnny. Who told you it was square?” replied the teacher. “My older brother. He claims he’s been to all 4 corners of the earth.” (Top Geography Jokes)
  202. What happened when Columbus was shot at by an Indian?… He had an arrow miss. (Top Archery Jokes)
  203. Why did the hungry Columbus eat the last candle?… He wanted a light snack.
  204. Who was the first cat to discover America?… Christopher Columpuss!
  205. What would you get if you crossed Columbus Day with Halloween?… Ghoulumbus Day! (Top Halloween Jokes)