North Dakota Jokes

by | Aug 8, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

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More North Dakota Jokes…

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about North Dakota.
  2. North Dakota has TWO capitals. Can you name them?… “N” and “D.”
  3. Why should you never buy golf equipment made in North Dakota?… Because North Dakota drivers are terrible. (Golf Jokes & Car Jokes)
  4. I have the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the Dakota Zoo. (Zoo Jokes)
  5. In what state does the James River flow?… Liquid. (Top 10 North Dakota Rivers)
  6. Over the summer, North Dakota is expected to break the hottest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as hot as 122°F
  7. North Dakota:  We’re not sure who is dumber – the politicians or the voters. (Election Jokes)
  8. A guy goes into a bar and asks the bartender if he wants to hear a good North Dakota joke. The bartender says, “Before you tell it, you should know that I am 6-2 and weigh 225 and I’m from North Dakota. See that guy at the end of the bar? He’s 6-4 and weighs 250 and he’s from North Dakota, too. And see the guy at the other end of the bar? He’s 6-6 and weighs 280 and he’s from North Dakota, too! Now, do you still want to tell your North Dakota joke?” The guy says, “Nah.” To which the bartender smiles and says, “What’s the matter? Are ya chicken?” The guy says, “Nah. I just don’t want to have to explain it three times.”
  9. What is the tallest building in North Dakota ?… The North Dakota State Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  10. Did you guys hear about that girl they found murdered in North Dakota?… They found her covered in milk with cheerios still in her mouth… They think it was a cereal killer. (Cereal Jokes)
  11. What did North Dakota see?… The same thing Arkansas. (Top 50 State Jokes)
  12. A North Dakota man came home and found his house on fire, rushed next door, telephoned the fire department and shouted, “Hurry on over here. My house is on fire!” “OK,” replied the fireman, “how do we get there?” “Say, don’t you still have them big red trucks?” (Fireman Jokes)
  13. Why is the Red River rich? …. Because it has two banks.  (Top 10 North Dakota Rivers)
  14. Speaking of driving… North Dakota roads are adventurous because no one knows how to drive. (Car Jokes)
  15. How do the zebras at the Dakota Zoo Zoo play baseball?… Three stripes and you’re out! (Baseball Jokes)
  16. What do you call a dishonest cat at the Dakota Zoo Zoo?… Lion. (Zoo Jokes)
  17. Why won’t any of North Dakota’s bicycles stand up by themselves?… They are two tired. (Bike Jokes)
  18. What is a White Butte’s favorite type of candy?… Snow caps. (Hiking Jokes & North Dakota Mountains)
  19. Over the winter, North Dakota is expected to break the coldest temperatures ever recorded in its entire history, some places as cold as -61°F… NOT cool.. FREEZING. (Winter Jokes)
  20. Why can’t Black Butte and White Butte play hide and seek?… Because they like to peak. (Hiking Jokes & North Dakota Mountains)
  21. A retired North Dakota man was jailed for refusing to nap… …he was resisting a rest. (Napping Jokes)
  22. Why did the North Dakota teacher jump into the lake?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  23. Where does a North Dakota fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Yellowstone River. (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  24. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The North Dakota Turnpike!
  25. I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now North Dakota. I live in North Dakota.
  26. What did Devil’s Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (15 Best Lakes in North Dakota)
  27. Did you hear the joke about North Killdeer Mountain?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & & North Dakota Mountains)
  28. North Dakota, where the elevation is usually a bigger number than the town’s population. (Hiking Jokes)
  29. A couple in North Dakota had a baby… Now their population is 17! (Baby Jokes)
  30. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about North Dakota?
  31. North Dakota: America hates us because America ain’t us.
  32. Teacher: Where were you born? Student: North Dakota. Teacher: Which part? Student: What do you mean, ‘which part’? My whole body was born in North Dakota! (Teacher Jokes)
  33. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good North Dakota knock-knock joke?
  34. A cowboy and his blind horse: A man is casually crossing the North Dakota plains when his horse died all of the sudden. The nearest town was three days walk. So, he started to walk. 3 days later he ends up in this quiet ‘ol town but nobody had a horse for sale. So he commenced to walking to the closest town which was a two days journey. Unfortunately, nobody in that town had a horse for sale, however, he did come across this stable where the fellow runnin’ it mentioned his brother in a nearby Town had a horse for sale. He commenced to walk to this next town and 2 DAYS LATER found the guy’s brother. “I talked to your brother two days walk from here and he says you might have a horse to sell me.” “Yes I do have a horse for sale,” He replied, “But he don’t look so good.” “I don’t care. I’ll take him anyways. I’ve been walking for damn near a week now. I’m tired and I need a horse.” So he gets on the horse and the horse takes off and bumps into a tree and stops. “Heyyy, something’s wrong with this horse. I think he’s blind. YOU SOLD ME A BLIND HORSE MISTER!” “I told you Sir, THE HORSE DON’T LOOK SO GOOD!”
  35. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good North Dakota knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  36. What did Devil’s Lake say to the shore?… Nothing, it waved. (Top North Dakota Lakes)
  37. What is the state tree of North Dakota?… The telephone pole.
  38. What did the North Dakota flag say to the American flag?… Nothing. It waved!
  40. Hawaii is hosting a party for all the states. Hawaii says, “be there or be square!” Unfortunately, Colorado and Wyoming didn’t attend. (Hawaii Jokes & Colorado Jokes)
  41. In the news, North Dakota had it’s first remote trial via zoom… It looks like things will be settled out of court. (Lawyer Jokes)
  42. Why did the North Dakota regents decide to cover War Memorial Stadium in cardboard?… Because the Cowboys always look better on paper.
  43. Why did the North Dakotan put a hole in his umbrella?… He wanted to know when the rain stoped.
  44. Why do North Dakota students have such beautiful noses?… They’re hand picked.
  45. Why do folks from North Dakota go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… 17 and under are not admitted. (Movie Jokes)
  46. What’s the one thing that keeps North Dakota students from graduating?… Going to Class. (College Jokes)
  47. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The North Dakota River!
  48. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The North Dakota River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  49. If a plane crashed on the borders of North Dakota and South Dakota where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  50. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Souris River! (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  51. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Sheyenne River! (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  52. A North Dakota man was arrested for stealing a truck filled with $56,000 worth of Campbell’s soup…. I, for one, hope this guy goes away for ‘Mmm, mmm, good!’
  53. How many North Dakota men do you need before you can make change for a dollar?… You can’t. Nobody in North Dakota has any cents.
  54. If you know several people who have hit a cow more than once, you live in North Dakota.
  55. Why is “The Wave” banned in War Memorial Stadium?… Two Cowboys fans drowned last year.
  56. North Dakota: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother! (Skiing Jokes)
  57. What is a North Dakota cloud’s favorite drink?… Mountain Dew. (Hiking Jokes & Skiing Jokes)
  58. What does the average North Dakotahigh school student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  59. Why do North Dakota students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  60. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in North Dakota to use their turn signal and I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  61. How do you get a man in North Dakota to do sit-ups?… Put the remote control between his toes.
  62. Nightmares in other states are just visions of what’s really going on in North Dakota.
  63. How many North Dakota State University freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course.
  64. Did you hear about the power outage at the University of North Dakota library?… Thirty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours. (College Jokes)
  65. Why did the North Dakota football team cross the road?…: Because it was easier than crossing the goal line. (Football Jokes)
  66. A cowboy, who just moved from North Dakota to Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud. He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy, “You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.”The cowboy replies, “Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona , the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas , we promised that we’d drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I’m drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself.”The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, “I don’t want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.”The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.”Oh, no, everybody’s just fine,” he explains, “It’s just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.” “Hasn’t affected my brothers though.”
  67. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most longest river in North Dakota?  
  68. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the two senators from North Dakota? 
  69. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the governor of North Dakota?
  70. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the representatives from North Dakota?  
  71. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe visit North Dakota?  
  72. Tourist: “Nice little town — so old and quaint. Must be a lot of odd characters around here, though, right?” North Dakota Resident: “Oh yes, quite a few. You see ’em around. But they’re mostly gone after Labor Day.” (Labor Day Jokes & Travel Blogs)
  73. No, really. I’ve been holding my breath for someone in North Dakota to use their turn signal… I haven’t breathed since 2005. (Car Jokes)
  74. How did the North Dakota grad die from drinking milk?… The cow fell on him! (Cow Jokes)
  75. Divorced couples in North Dakota are having trouble deciding who gets the Marijuana… The judges have started issuing joint custody. (Divorce Jokes)
  76. What do you call the event between two cities that legalized marijuana?… The Super Bowl.
  77. Yes, marijuana is legal in North Dakota… now leaf the jokes alone.Where do North Dakota elementary school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Elementary School Jokes)
  78. Where do North Dakota middle school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (Middle School Jokes)
  79. Where do North Dakota high school sports teams buy their uniforms?… New Jersey? (High School Jokes)
  80. A North Dakotan Game: Two North Dakotans go into a dark closet. One sneeks out, and the other one tries to guess who is missing.
  81. Why did the North Dakota teacher jump into the pool?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  82. Why did the North Dakota teacher jump into the ocean?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Ocean Jokes)
  83. Why did the North Dakota teacher jump into the river?… She wanted to test the water! (Teacher Jokes & Swimming Jokes for Kids)
  84. What is the tallest building in the North Dakota?… The Grand Forks Public Library of course, it has the most stories! (Library Jokes)
  85. What goes hundreds of miles and never moves?… The North Dakota Turnpike!
  86. Where do North Dakota fish keep their money?… In the riverbanks of the Yellowstone River. (Ten Longest Rivers in North Dakota)
  87. What has a mouth but can’t eat?… The Missouri River!
  88. What runs but never goes out of breath?… The Missouri River! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  89. If a plane crashed on the borders of North Dakota South Dakota, Minnesota, and Montana, where would they bury the survivors?… You wouldn’t bury them anywhere because survivors are the people who lived! (Geography Jokes for Kids)
  90. Did you hear the joke about White Butte?… You won’t get over it. (Hiking Jokes & 10 Best North Dakota Mountains)
  91. What separates a good team from a great team?… The North Dakota-South Dakota border.
  92. What does the average University of North Dakota student get on his SAT?… Drool. (College Jokes)
  93. How many University of North Dakota freshman does it take to change a light bulb?… None, it’s a sophomore course. (College Jokes)
  94. Why do North Dakota students have TGIF on their shoes?… Toes Go In First!
  95. What does a University of North Dakota fan do when his team has won the Final Four?… He turns off the PlayStation. (Basketball Jokes)
  96. What’s the difference between a North Dakota football player and a dollar?… You can get four quarters out of a dollar. (Football Jokes)
  97. Did you hear that North Dakota’s football team doesn’t have a website?… They can’t string three “Ws” together. (Football Jokes)
  98. Why did the North Dakotan go around the block 24 time?… His blinker was stuck.
  99. Did you here about the North Dakotan who broke his arm while raking leaves?… He fell out of the tree.
  100. Why did the North Dakotan put a hole in his umbrella?… He wanted to know when the rain stoped.
  101. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe spell North Dakota? 
  102. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the North Dakota colleges and universities? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  103. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the professional North Dakota sports teams? 
  104. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the capital of North Dakota? (State Capitals)
  105. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most populated city in North Dakota?  
  106. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the least populated city in North Dakota?  
  107. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the most highest mountain in North Dakota? (Hiking Jokes)  
  108. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe give me the name of a great North Dakota restaurant?
  109. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me the cost of living in North Dakota?  
  110. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe tell me some good lakes in North Dakota? 
  111. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a North Dakota football game?
  112. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe take me to a North Dakota basketball game?  
  113. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe you tell me the cost of a house in North Dakota? (Top U.S. Colleges)
  114. Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the North Dakota State mascot? (College Mascots)
  115. North Dakota has changed its drinking age to 28…. Lawmakers warrant this by saying it is meant to keep alcohol out of high school.