New Year’s Eve Jokes

by | Oct 23, 2019 | Latest News, School Jokes | 0 comments

My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Find qualified tutors in your area today!

Google Search “New Year’s Eve Jokes”

  1. Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best jokes about New Year’s Eve.
  2. How does a leap year baby celebrate New Year’s Eve?… With four times the fireworks! (New Year’s Eve Jokes & Fireworks Jokes)
  3. What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?… To travel more. (365 Basketball Jokes)
  4. How did the Grinch get home from the New Year’s Eve party?… He took a Who-ber. (Car Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  5. What do you call soldiers from the South when they partied on New Year’s Eve during the Civil War?… Confetti-ate soldiers. (Civil War Jokes)
  6. Whoever is in charge of rolling out the welcome mat for 2023, please, Please, PLEASE do a good job… the last three year’s the person failed. (Covid Jokes)
  7. May all your troubles last as long as your 2022 New Year’s resolutions.
  8. What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Eve?…. Hoppy New Year! (Easter Jokes)
  9. Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve… It’s December 31st.
  10. Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time’s Square …… and year after year, they drop the ball. (New York Jokes)
  11. What do you call always having a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security. (Valentine’s Day Jokes)
  12. Where can you go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?… Times Square. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  13. I love when they drop the ball in Times Square …… It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
  14. What happened to the man who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  15. They say New York has the best New Year’s Eve Party… I’d say it’s overrated — every year they drop the ball.
  16. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Razor… Razor who?… Razor glass and toast the New Year.
  17. I could not wait till New Year’s Day 2021… Then I could say hindsight is really 2020.
  18. “I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.” A dad on New Year’s Eve. (Dad Jokes)
  19. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s…. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
  20. Why do you need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year.
  21. Did you hear about the guy who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?… He wanted to make a New Year’s toast!
  22. An iPhone and a firework were arrested on New Year’s Eve… One was charged and the other was let off. (Fireworks Jokes & Police Jokes)
  23. Did you hear about the fire cracker’s New Year’s Eve party?… It was a BANG! (Fireworks Jokes)
  24. At the beginning of this year I made a New Year’s resolution to lose 10 pounds … … Only 15 more to go!
  25. New Year?… I just got used to this last one!
  26. What did the ghost say on January 1st?… Happy Boo Year. (Ghost Jokes)
  27. An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
  28. What’s a cow’s favorite holiday?… Moo Year’s Eve. (Cow Jokes)
  29. What do snowmen like to do on New Year’s Eve?… Chill out.
  30. How does New Year’s Eve end?… With the letter ‘E’!
  31. What do New Year’s parades have in common with Santa Claus?… No one is awake to see either of them.
  32. What song did Avogadro’s family sing on New Year’s Eve?… “Mole Lang Syne.” (Mole Day Jokes & Music Jokes)
  33. What New Year’s resolution should a basketball player never make?… To travel more.
  34. What’s the problem with jogging on New Year’s Eve?… The ice falls out of your drinks! (Track & Field Jokes)
  35. What is a New Year’s resolution?… Something that goes in one year and out the other.
  36. The year 2020 was filled with so many puns about perfect vision …… I can’t wait to see them all.
  37. If 2020 & 2021 were people I’d sue them for pain and suffering. (Lawyer Jokes)
  38. Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve?… Waiting for the punchline.
  39. What did the little champagne bottle call his father?… Pop! (Dad Jokes)
  40. I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.
  41. What song does a vampire sing on New Year’s Eve?… Auld FANG Syne. (Vampire Jokes & 365 Family Friendly Jokes)
  42. Why should you stand on just your left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown?… So you start the New Year on the right foot.
  43. Knock knock... Who’s there?… Abbey... Abbey who?… Abbey New Year! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  44. Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?… To start off the New Year in a cool way.
  45. Are you ready for the most famous countdown of the whole world? New Years is coming! And 10, 9, 8, …. 3, 2, 1…. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  46. My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating… But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start.
  47. This New Year’s, I resolved to lead a better life… Now all I have to do is find someone who will trade lives with me.
  48. What does a caterpillar do on Jan. 1?… Turns over a new leaf.
  49. What do you tell someone you didn’t see on New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
  50. What is a corn’s favorite holiday?… New Ear’s Eve. (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  51. The only “homework” you want your dog to chew up is your list of New Year’s resolutions. (December Jokes for Teachers)
  52. Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about New Year’s Eve?
  53. What did the cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?… Happy New Cheer!
  54. What do you call someone named Stephen on Dec. 31?… New Year’s Steve!
  55. What should you never eat on New Year’s Eve?… Fire crackers.
  56. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good New Year’s Eve knock-knock joke?
  57. (In 2020) My friend asked me where I see myself in the new year… How would I know? I don’t have 2020 vision.
  58. (In 2020) Looking at the new year’s calendar …… we’ll all have 2020 vision.
  59. Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good New Year’s Eve knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
  60. What happened to the woman who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… She got 12 months! (Police Jokes)
  61. Let’s celebrate New Year’s Eve …… by making many pour decisions! (Beer Jokes)
  62. What is the digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?… 1080p.
  63. Knock knock... Who’s there?… Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who?… Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  64. What New Year’s resolution guarantees success?… Making a resolution to break your resolution.
  65. What did the generous mole say when his friends crashed his New Year’s Eve party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  66. Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve?… Because 9, 8, 7 … (Math Jokes for Kids)
  67. What is a cow’s favorite holiday?…  Moo Year’s Day! (Cow Jokes)
  68. What do you tell someone you didn’t see at New Year’s Eve?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
  69. I would lose weight for my New Year’s resolution …… but I hate losing.
  70. My New Year’s resolution is to get better at pretending to know the words to “Auld Lang Syne.” (Music Jokes)
  71. Why do birds fly south for New Year’s Eve?… It’s too far to walk.
  72. My New Year’s resolution was to read more …… so I put the subtitles on my TV.
  73. What is corn’s favorite holiday?… New EARS Day! (Corn Jokes & Farming Jokes)
  74. What do you call always wanting a date for New Year’s Eve?… Social Security.
  75. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Cheese… Cheese who?… For cheese a jolly good fellow.
  76. What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year’s Day?…. Hoppy New Year! (Easter Jokes)
  77. What was the Amityville Priest’s resolution?… To exorcise more.
  78. My New Year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full …… with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.
  79. My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year’s resolutions.
  80. My New Year’s resolution is to break my New Year’s resolutions. That way I succeed at something!
  81. What did the cat say on New Year’s Eve?… Meow.
  82. What is the snowman’s New Year’s resolution?… To chill out more.
  83. What does a jeweler do on Dec. 31?… Ring in the New Year.
  84. What do criminals pay on Jan. 1?… New Year’s restitution.
  85. What do you say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31?… “See you next year!”
  86. What does a ghoul say on Dec. 31?… “Happy New Fear!”
  87. Apparently most babies are born in September… I suppose that’s one way to start the new year off with a bang.

New Years Eve One Liners

  1. A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
  2. May all your troubles last as long as your New Year resolutions.

New Year’s Eve Jokes for Teachers

  1. “I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.” A high school teacher on the last day before Winter Break. (Dad Jokes & High School Jokes)
  2. Where does a math teacher go to practice math on New Year’s Eve?… Times Square. (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  3. What happened to the student who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  4. Teacher to his class:Not to brag, but I already have a date for New Year’s Eve… It’s December 31st.
  5. Why does a student need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year.
  6. Why did the teacher put the new calendar in the freezer?… To start off the New Year in a cool way. (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  7. Why did the biology teacher stand on her left foot during the New Year’s Eve countdown?… So she starts the New Year on the right foot. (Biology Jokes for Teachers)
  8. Why was 6 afraid of 9 on New Year’s Eve?… Because 9, 8, 7 … (Math Jokes for Teachers)
  9. What did the generous chemistry teacher say when his friends crashed his New Year’s Eve party?… The mole the merrier! (Mole Day Jokes & Chemistry Jokes for Teachers)
  10. What New Year’s resolution should a high school basketball player never make?… To travel more. (Travel Guest Blogs & High School Jokes)
  11. What does a teacher tell students on the the 1st day back from Christmas Break?… I haven’t seen you for a year!
  12. New Year’s Resolution for a Teacher: I will not roll my eyes when school administrators offer impractical classroom “suggestions” at faculty meetings.
  13. New Year’s Resolution for a Teacher: I will not speak ill of the copy machine when it breaks down. I will have plenty of time later.
  14. An optimistic teacher stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimistic teacher stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
  15. Did you hear about the teacher who started fixing breakfast at midnight on Dec. 31?… He wanted to make a New Year’s toast! (Bread Jokes & Breakfast Jokes)
  16. What song did Avogadro’s family sing on New Year’s Eve?… “Mole Lang Syne.” (Mole Day Jokes & Music Jokes)
  17. The only “homework” you want your dog to chew up is your list of New Year’s resolutions. (December Jokes for Teachers)
  18. What did the high school cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?… Happy New Cheer! (Cheerleading Jokes & High School Jokes)
  19. What do the teacher say when bidding farewell on Dec. 31?… “See you next year!””
  20. What happened to the teacher who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… She got 12 months! (Police Jokes)
  21. What did the teacher go to a jeweler do on Dec. 31?… Ring in the New Year.
  22. Knock knock... Who’s there?… Mary and Abbey... Mary and Abbey who?… Mary Christmas and Abbey New Year! (Christmas Knock Knock Jokes & New Year’s Eve Jokes)
  23. I love when they drop the ball in Times Square …… It’s a nice reminder of what I did all year.
  24. Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up for New Year’s. Middle age is when you’re forced to.
  25. Knock knock!… Who’s there?… Razor… Razor who?… Razor glass and toast the New Year.
  26. Every New Year’s Eve, I look forward to a good show at Time’s Square …… and year after year, they drop the ball. (New York Jokes)
  27. What do students who get detentions pay on Jan. 1?… New Year’s restitution.
  28. What happened to the middle school student who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  29. What happened to the high school student who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  30. What happened to the elementary school student who shoplifted a calendar on New Year’s Eve?… He got 12 months! (Police Jokes & Top 10 Jokes for Each Month)
  31. Why does a high school student need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year.
  32. Why does a middle school student need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year.
  33. Why does a elementary school student need a jeweler on New Year’s Eve?… To ring in the New Year.
  34. What New Year’s resolution should a middle school basketball player never make?… To travel more. (Travel Guest Blogs & Middle School Jokes)
  35. What New Year’s resolution should a elementary school basketball player never make?… To travel more. (Travel Guest Blogs & Elementary School Jokes)
  36. “I promise not to make any bad jokes for the rest of the year.” A middle school teacher on the last day before Winter Break. (Dad Jokes & Middle School Jokes)
  37. What did the high school teacher go to a jeweler do on Dec. 31?… Ring in the New Year.
  38. What did the middle school teacher go to a jeweler do on Dec. 31?… Ring in the New Year.
  39. What did the elementary teacher go to a jeweler do on Dec. 31?… Ring in the New Year.
  40. What did the middle school cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?… Happy New Cheer!
  41. What did the elementary school cheerleaders say on New Year’s Day?… Happy New Cheer!