Movie Jokes

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Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best movie jokes. (Movie Knock Knock Jokes)
Harry Potter movies should be rated R for the huge amount of cursing.
What do you get when you cross the Harry Potter movies with the Batman movies?… “Why so Sirius?”
If you watch Jaws backwards it’s the heartwarming story of a shark that helps disabled people put their lives back together. (Shark Jokes)
What was the shark’s favorite movie?… Eating Nemo!
Who’s Iron Man’s alter-ego in the sea world?… Tony Shark.
What was the shark’s favorite Tim Burton film?… Edward Scissorfins.
Why did the leap year baby become an actor?… They were used to waiting four years for their big break!
2024 Finals: What summer blockbuster movie did the the Celtics refuse to go see?… Bad Boys 4 Ride or Die. (Boston Celtics Jokes)
Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard.
Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.?… Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug. (California Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz is by far the greatest character of all time… No one could hold a candle to him. (Wizard of Oz Jokes)
Avengers: Infinity War is the perfect holiday movie… For Ash Wednesday.
What is Sean Connery’s favorite holiday?… Ash Wednesday.
Did Judy Garland do a good job as an actress in the Wizard of Oz?… Yes, she brought the house down. (Wizard of Oz Jokes)
What do you call Hunger Games in America?… Black Friday. (Movie Jokes & Book Jokes)
What was the most popular kids’ movie in Ancient Greece?… Troy Story. (Archaeology Jokes)
Why don’t moles like teenage actresses?… Because Lindsay Molehan gives them a bad reputation.
Who plays James Bond best in an autumn orchard?… Pears Brosnan
What’s a sailor’s favorite type of movie?… A sea-quel! (Ocean Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Guess who missed Spiderman Homecoming?… Uncle Ben. (Homecoming Jokes)
What’s James Bond’s favorite hot drink?… Pumpkin spy-ce latte. (Movie Jokes & Pumpkin Jokes)
R2-D2 was the most vulgar movie character of all time… They bleeped out every word he said! (Star Wars Jokes)
How many stars did the movie critic give to Life of Pi?… 3.14159 stars. (Pi Jokes)
What’s Forest Gump’s favorite kind of pasta?… Penne. (Pasta Jokes)
What do you call the Robin Williams movie about a hot California heat wave?… Mrs. Droughtfire. (California Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Did you know Steven Spielberg and John Williams like to play basketball together? … He shoots, he scores. (Music Jokes & World’s Best Basketball Jokes)
When does Oliver Stone eat ice cream? … Any Given Sundae. (Football Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Where do actors go on field trips to?… The Hollywoods! (California Jokes)
What is Mark Cuban’s favorite Tom Cruise movie?… Maverick. (NBA Basketball Jokes & Movie Jokes)
What is Dirk Nowitzki’s favorite Tom Cruise movie?… Maverick. (NBA Basketball Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Summer PSA: Just remember, you’ll never need a bigger boat if you don’t go to the ocean. (Shark Jokes)
What’s wrong with staying up late to watch Lord of the Rings movies?… It’s a bad hobbit. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
It’s so hot, I put in a DVD of Frozen and it played Waterworld. (Heat Wave Jokes)
Not many people realize that Despicable Me and the Minion films are based on a Gru story. (Minion Jokes)
Which movie is a favorite of downhill skiers?… “The Little Mermaid” because it has Aerial in it. (Disney Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom! (Fireworks Jokes & 101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Harry Potter movies in order? (Canoe Jokes & Movie Jokes)
What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio in a movie about the French Revolution?… Leonardo DiCapitated. (Bastille Day Jokes)
Why was the Navy movie not permitted to be played in theaters?… Due to censor-ship. (Navy Jokes)
What type of cheese do you use for a Tom Hanks’ grilled cheese sandwich?… Philadelphia. (Movie Jokes & Pennsylvania Jokes)
How did Reese eat her ice cream?… Witherspoon. (Ice Cream Jokes)
Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy… One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire. (Movie Jokes & Elf Jokes)
Who is the the mole’s favorite actor?… Mole Gibson. (Mole Day Jokes)
What did Al Gore say when he went to the dentist?… “I have an Inconvenient Tooth.” (Earth Day Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Which penguin movie won an Oscar?… Lord of the Wings. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
“Sometimes you win. Sometimes you lose. SOMETIMES…. it rains!” Ebby Calvin ‘Nuke’ LaLoosh – Bull Durham (1988) (Rain Jokes / Movie Jokes / Baseball Jokes)
What did the dentist shout in the courtroom?… You can’t handle the tooth! (Lawyer Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Why was the weeping willow so sad?… It watched a sappy movie. (Tree Jokes)
Who is the shark community’s favorite 1950s film actor?… Shark Hudson.
When does Oliver Stone go to Dairy Queen?… Any Given Sundae. (Football Jokes & Movie Jokes)
What is ice cream’s favorite movie?… Frozen!
What is a chemistry student’s favorite movie?… Elemental. (Movie Jokes)
When was the Despicable Me film released?… A Minion years ago.
What’s Bob’s favorite Tom Cruise movie?… Minion Impossible.
Shark Pun: Go ahead and mako my day.
Why do Minions refuse to watch horror films?… They find them too Gru-some.
What’s a football player’s favorite ice cream?… Any given sundae. (Football Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Did you see the movie about the hot dog?… It was an Oscar Wiener. (Hot Dog Jokes)
A math teacher saw the movie American Pie… She gave it 3.14 stars. (Pi Day Jokes for Teachers)
What’s bacon’s favorite movie?… Grease! (Bacon Jokes)
Why did Episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2, and 3?… Because in charge of directing, Yoda was. (Star Wars Jokes)
Knock knock… Who’s there?… Canoe… Canoe who?… Canoe name the Harry Potter characters? (Canoe Jokes & Movie Jokes)
My grandpa tried to warn everyone that the Titanic was going to sink. When everyone just ignored him, he yelled at them three more times… Eventually, they got irritated and kicked him out of the theater. (Grandparent Jokes)
What did Winnie-the-Pooh say to Jerry Maguire?… “Show me the Honey!” (Winnie the Pooh Jokes)
Where do penguins go to the movies?… At the dive-in! (Penguin Jokes)
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?… It’s rated AARRRRGGH! (Pirate Jokes)
Robert de Niro is playing the lead role in the upcoming movie about “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. The movie is called… “You Tolkien to me?” (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?… Guardians of the Galaxy.
If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss?… They missed the rains down in Africa. (Music Jokes / Movie Jokes / Rain Jokes / World Geography Jokes)
What’s an orange’s favorite genre?… Pulp fiction.
I went to the Cinema yesterday… …I was buying popcorn, a drink and some candy. As I went to pay I said, “I’m ever so sorry, I’ve only got a $50.” The lady said, “That’s ok, you can put the candy back!”(Popcorn Jokes & Candy Jokes)
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?… Because she will Let it go.
What do you call a Tom Cruise movie with a hamburger in it?… Top Buns. (Hamburger Jokes)
What did Mark Wahlberg feed Ted?… Nothing he was already stuffed.
What is a runner’s favorite movie?… The Green Mile. (Track & Field Jokes)
The 2012 film Lincoln did well in theaters, historically this has not been true. (Civil War Jokes & Movie Jokes)
When born, Arnold Schwarzenegger got a job serving spaghetti for a local coffee shop… He was known as the pasta barista baby. (Coffee Jokes & Spaghetti Jokes)
Do you know the Ghostbusters’ catchphrase in Italian?… I ain’t alfredo no ghost! (Ghost Jokes & Pasta Jokes)
I got fined $50 for sneaking popcorn and a drink into the movie theater… It’s ok though, it still saved me money. (Movie Jokes)
What’s the name of the movie about bacon?… Hamlet. (Bacon Jokes)
Who directed the movie about Volleyball?… Spike Lee. (Volleyball Jokes)
Did you hear that Clint Eastwood opened a preschool?… It’s called “Go Ahead and Make My Day Care Center!”
Last night a movie theater was robbed of over $1000 dollars… The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, two large sodas and a pack of Skittles. (Popcorn Jokes & Candy Jokes)
Hawaii Puns: You had me at Aloha. (Hawaii Jokes)
If Harrison Ford’s son were in the Navy, what would be his favorite city?… Indy-Annapolis. (Movie Jokes & Indiana Jokes)
I’ve heard the reviews for the new Grinch movie have been bad. One reviewer asked theater goers if they would watch The Grinch or a video of a sea sick crocodile, and 90% proffered watching the sea sick crocodile. (Grinch Jokes)
What’s a sharks favorite movie?… Shaw-shark Redemption! (Shark Jokes)
If they made movie starring the Loch Ness Monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?… Loch Jaws! (Shark Jokes)
Who was the burger’s favorite all-time movie director?… Sizzle B. DeMille! (Hamburger Jokes)
I wonder if the first person to pop popcorn suddenly had the urge to… watch a movie. (Movie Jokes)
Who’s going to agree to play Frodo in the Lord of the Rings movies?… Elijah Would. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
What award did Will Smith win at the 2022 Oscars for his live performance on the same night?… Best “Smack” tor.
My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D… … and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
What do you call a fight between film actors?… Star wars!
I got thrown out of the cinema for throwing popcorn at the back of people’s heads… I also lost my job behind the popcorn counter. (Movie Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
Where does the Grinch go to watch movies?… The IMAX! (Dr. Seuss Jokes)
Where did the cow family go on Father’s Day?… The moo-vies. (Father’s Day Jokes & Cow Jokes)
Which actress is incredible at golf?… Minnie Driver. (Golf Jokes)
What kind of snack do you have during a scary movie?…. I scream (ice cream) sandwich. (Field Trip Jokes for Kids / Ice Cream Sandwich Jokes / Friday the 13th Jokes)
Why did the skateboard go to the movie?… Because it was wheely board. (Skateboarding Jokes)
If I had a dollar every time a customer complained about the price of cinema food… I could almost afford a small popcorn. (Movie Jokes & Labor Day Jokes)
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture?… None of the rolls (roles) were good enough. (Hot Dog Jokes)
What are some great Christmas actors, actresses, and performers… “Wreath Witherspoon,” “Spruce Willis,” “Judy Garland.” (Christmas Wreath Jokes)
What is a chemistry teacher’s favorite movie?… Elemental. (Chemistry Jokes & Movie Jokes)
What is a chemistry professor’s favorite movie?… Elemental. (Movie Jokes & College Jokes)
Where does the Grinch go to watch movies?… The IMAX! (Grinch Jokes)
Movie Review: The Lord of the Rings: Group spends nine hours returning jewelry. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
How did Reese eat her cereal?… Witherspoon. (Movie Jokes)
James Bond is fast asleep in bed when suddenly there is an earthquake! He is shaken…but not stirred.
What is a penguin’s favorite movie?… Frozen. (Penguin Jokes)
Why did the plank go to the movie?… Because it was board. (Skateboarding Jokes)
Who is the hamburgers favorite actress?… Candice Berger! (Hamburger Jokes
What’s the pumpkin’s favorite Western?… The Gourd, The Bad, and The Ugly!
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs?… Talk about a meatier shower! (Meatball Jokes)
What does Marty McFly skate on that also cleans his carpet?… A hoover board. (Skateboarding Jokes)
What did the donut say to the munchin?…. Your complete me! (Donut Jokes)
Teacher: “Jenny, what do you know that has stars and stripes?” Student: “A movie about a zebra!” (Flag Day Jokes)
What did Morgan Freeman say when Penguins told him they liked March of the Penguins?… Why the heck was I narrating it if Penguins can talk. (Penguin Jokes)
What award did was Chris Rock given by Will Smith at the 2022 Oscars?… Best “Smacked” tor.
Why is popcorn way better than a movie?… Because they are just so much butter. (Popcorn Jokes)
Groundhog Day is a classic movie… It sure has great replay value. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
The 1993 movie Groundhog Day is truly timeless. (Ground Hog Day Jokes)
Can you name two movies that Avogadro really liked?… Mole Miner’s Daughter and Moleby Dick. (Movie Jokes & Whale Jokes)
What do you call a cyborg bee movie?… The Pollinator! (Bee Jokes for Kids & Flower Jokes)
Hand. Hand. River. Dirt. Gollum. Hobbits. Pockets. Pockets. Finger. Envelope. Fire. Hand. Neck. Neck. Finger. Hobbits. Neck. Neck. Neck. Pocket. Finger. LAVA… The Lord of the Rings Trilogy, from the perspective of the ring. (Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Why do folks from South Dakota go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?… 17 and under are not admitted. (South Dakota Jokes)
Why did they come out with a Lord of the Rings movie?…The fans were Baggins for it. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Orlando Bloom was only paid $175,000 for his role as Legolas in the Lord of the Rings trilogy… One might say he was definitely not an Elf made millionaire. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Who was the most volatile actor in The Lord of the Rings?… Orlando Boom! (Fireworks Jokes & 101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Imagine America’s best dentists competing against each other in fixing dental problems… We’ll call the show “Top Gum” (Dentist Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Where do seals go to see movies?… The dive-in! (Movie Jokes & Seal Jokes)
Have you heard of Flight of the Penguins (sequel to March)?… It’s a whale of a tale. (Whale Jokes & Penguin Jokes)
Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor? … Rabbit De Niro! (Easter Jokes)
Grandpa: “Look they made a movie about The Smurfs grown-up.” Grandson: “Grandpa, shhhhhhh, that’s ‘Avatar’…” (Grandparent Jokes)
Where do Christmas plants go when they want to become movie stars?… Holly-wood! (Christmas Jokes)
What do penguins do when they want to hookup?… Net fish and chill. (Fishing Jokes & Movie Jokes)
Knock, knock… Who’s there?… Noah… Noah, who?… Noah good joke about movies?
What part did the egg play in the movies?… He was an “Egg-stra.” (Egg Jokes)
Why did the skeleton not go and see a scary movie with his friends on Friday the 13th?… He didn’t have the guts. (Movie Jokes & Skeleton Jokes)
What did the firecracker eat at the movies?… Pop-corn. (Fireworks Jokes / Movie Jokes / Popcorn Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know how to tell a good movie knock-knock joke?
“Happy Halloween to all and to all a good fright!” Hubie Dubois! (Funny Halloween Jokes)
Knock Knock… Who’s there?… June… June who?… June know any good movie knock knock jokes? (June Jokes & Spring Knock Knock Jokes)
I just saw the movie American Pi… I gave it a rating of 3.14. (Pi Day Jokes)
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating pasta?… PASTA LA VISTA BABY. (Pasta Jokes)
What did the spaghetti say to the lasagna as he was murdering him… Pasta La vista, Baby!
Bloke down the pub sold me a DVD. It had 3.14 stars. I think it was pi-rated. (Pie Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
Which body part are mermaids scared of?… Jaws! (Shark Jokes)
They are doing a new sequel to the movie “March of the Penguins.”… They are calling it “April of the Penguins!” (Top 10 Jokes for Each Month & Penguin Jokes)
Why doesn’t BYU want to be this year’s Cinderella team?… Because the school considers the movie to be inappropriate. (Disney Jokes & Cinderella Jokes)
What do you call a blind dinosaur?… A Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed and Forrest approaches the Gatekeeper. St. Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we’ve been administering an entrance examination for everyone. The test is short, but you have to pass it before you can get into Heaven.” Forrest responds, “It shor is good to be here , St. Peter, sir. But nobody ever tolt me about any entrance exam. Shor hope the test ain’t too hard; life was a big enough test as it was.” St. Peter goes on, “Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions: First: What two days of the week begin with the letter T? Second: How many seconds are there in a year? Third: What is God’s first name?” Forrest leaves to think the questions over. He returns the next day and sees St. Peter who waves him up and says, “Now that you have had a chance to think the questions over, tell me your answers.” Forrest says, “Well, the first one — which two days in the week begin with the letter “T”? Shucks, that one’s easy. That’d be Today and Tomorrow.” The Saint’s eyes open wide and he exclaims, “Forrest, that’s not what I was thinking, but you do have a point, and I guess I didn’t specify, so I’ll give you credit for that answer. How about the next one?” asks St. Peter. “How many seconds in a year?” “Now that one’s harder,” says Forrest, “but I thunk and thunk about that and I guess the only answer can be twelve.” Confounded, St. Peter says, “Twelve? Twelve!? Forrest, how in Heaven’s name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?” Forrest says “Shucks, there’s gotta be twelve: January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd. . .” “Hold it, ” interrupts St. Peter. “I see where you’re going with this, and I see your point, though that wasn’t quite what I had in mind…..but I’ll have to give you credit for that one, too. Let’s go on with the third and final question. Can you tell me God’s first name”? “Sure” Forrest replied, “its Andy.” Andy?!” exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St. Peter. “Ok, I can understand how you came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name Andy as the first name of God?” “Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,” Forrest replied. “I learnt it from the song. . . . “ANDY WALKS WITH ME, ANDY TALKS WITH ME, ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN. . . .” St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates and said: “Run Forrest, run.”
On the night of his 2017 inauguration, Donald Trump was visited by 3 ghosts. Early in the night, FDR appeared. Trump asked him “How can I make America great again?” FDR replies, “think only of the people; do not make laws based on hatred, bigotry, or with the thought of lining your own pockets.” Trump’s face sours “FAKE NEWS!” he screams and FDR disappears. Trump falls back to sleep. A few hours later, he is awakened by George Washington’s ghost. Trump asks “How can I make America great again?” Washington replies, “I would suggest you never tell a lie.” This infuriates Trump. He screams for his bodyguards but Washington is already gone. Around 3 in the morning, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. Again, he asks “How can I make America great again?” Lincoln thinks for a bit and says “go to the theater.” (Inauguration Jokes & January Jokes)
What’s a pumpkin’s favorite genre?… Pulp fiction. (Pumpkin Jokes)
What do pumpkins eat at the movies?… Pulp Corn. (Pumpkin Jokes & Popcorn Jokes)
Bruce Willis has been cast to play the lead role in the upcoming Lord of the Rings sequel… Old Hobbits Die Hard.
It’s a hobbit… I watch the Lord of the Rings movie. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes)
Which penguin movie won an Oscar?… Lord of the Wings. (101 Lord of the Rings Jokes & Movie Jokes)
What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent?… Show me the honey. (Winnie the Pooh Jokes)
My local movie theater was robbed of almost $10,000. The thieves got away with three boxes of popcorn, two large sodas, three boxes of candy and a hotdog. (Hot Dog Jokes / Popcorn Jokes / Candy Jokes)
What do you call a three-humped camel?… Pregnant!
Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?,,, Yeah, it runs in your jeans.
Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, “Does this taste funny to you?'”
What does a baby computer call its father?… Data.
Do you know that Netflix has devised the perfect way to stop the distribution of pirated movies?… They now block all movies with an IMDB rating of 3.14. Pi-rated. (Movie Jokes & Pirate Jokes)
What is that one movie that pi likes to watch at any day, any time?… Life of Pi.
What do Mexican youth do on eve of Cinco de Mayo?… They Netflix and chili.

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