My Town Tutors is a great resource for parents & teachers. Check out our Guest Blogs for Education, Parents, Travel, Tutoring, Sports, Music and College.
- Knock knock?…Who is there?…Boo… Boo Who?… Don’t cry! We have the best Mother’s Day jokes!
- Mother to son: I’m warning you. If you fall out of that tree and break both your legs, don’t come running to me!
- May 10th Mother’s Day: What do you get when you cross a rapper with your mother?… Yo Yo – Ma.
- What did the mother rope say to her child?…“Don’t be knotty.”
- Sunday school teacher: Tell me, do you say prayers before eating?… Student: No, ma’am, I don’t have to. My mom’s a good cook.
- Woman on a bus with her baby. Bus driver: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen.” The woman goes to the back & sits down Woman to a man next to her, “The driver just insulted me!” Man “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”
- Mom, what is it like to have the best child in the world?… I don’t know, go ask your grandparents.
- What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day?… Mums.
- Knock Knock… Whose there?… July… July who?… July to your mom and she gets mad.
- What did the digital clock say to its mother?… “Look, Ma! No hands!”
- What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?… It’s time to go to sweep!
- Larry’s mother had four children. Three were named North, South and West. What was her other child’s name? … Larry.
- A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He answered, ‘Call for backup.’
- Son: “Mom can I get twenty bucks” Mom: Does it look like I am made of money Son: “Well isn’t that what M.O.M stands for?”
- What did the mother bullet say to the daddy bullet?… “We’re gonna have a BB!”
- Son: Why is a computer so smart?… Mom: It listens to its motherboard.
- Dad: Why did you chop the joke book in half? Son: Mom said to cut the comedy.
- Science teacher: When is the boiling point reached?… Student: When my mother sees my report card!
- Child: Mom, why did the chicken cross the road?… Mom: I don’t know, go ask your dad!
- Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days?… Because their kids have to play inside!
- How come the mother needle got mad at the baby needle?… It was way past its threadtime!
- Mother to daughter advice: Cook a man a fish and you feed him for a day…. But teach a man to fish and you get rid of him for the whole weekend.
- Son: I think my mom’s getting serious about straightening up my room once and for all. Dad: How do you know? Son: She’s learning to drive a bulldozer.
- Baby snake: Mommy, are we poisonous? Mother snake: Yes, son.Why? Baby snake: I just bit my tongue!
- Son: Dad, do you know the difference between a pack of cookies and a pack of elephants? Dad: No. Son: Then it’s a good thing Mom does the grocery shopping!
- Moms are like trees, they give you roots, a firm foundation, protection, and someone to look up to
- What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?… “Where’s Popcorn?”
- What do you call a mom who can’t draw?… Tracy.
- What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour (or gossip)?… The internet, Telephone, Tell your mom.
- What do you call a small mom?… minimum.
- What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato?… catch up!
- Why don’t mothers wear watches?… There’s a clock on the stove.
- Why did the baby strawberry cry?… Because his mom was in a jam!
- What did the baby Egyptian say when he got lost?… I want my mummy.
- What did the momma say to the foal?… It’s pasture your bedtime
- What book do moms like the most?… “Their husbands checkbook!”
- What did mommy spider say to baby spider?… You spend too much time on the web.
- My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh yea”..Just you wait.”
Famous Mothers
COLUMBUS’S MOTHER: I don’t care what you’ve discovered, Christopher. You could have written.
MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER: Mike, can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?
NAPOLEON’S MOTHER: All right, Napoleon. If you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, then take your hand out of there and prove it.
GOLDILOCKS’S MOTHER: I’ve got a bill here for a broken chair from the Bear family. Do you know anything about this Goldie?
ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER: But, Albert, it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something…? (Top Albert Einstein Quotes)
THOMAS EDISON’S MOTHER: Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Thomas. Now turn off that light and get to bed!
HUMPTY DUMPTY’S MOTHER: Humpty, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a hundred times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? No!